Disclaimer: I don't own Eva or South Park.
Third Impact has reached into a very advanced stage; all people's souls had merged with Lilith and were ready to take the trip to perfection.
However there was still a single person who weren't allowed to be part of this bliss. That person was Gendo Ikari. He has been judge of his bad deeds against his own son by the very person who he wanted to be reunited: Yui Ikari, and his punishment was to be eaten by his own creation EVA-01.
In order to save his ass he tried a desperate maneuver.
"Please can I say some last words" cried Gendo.
After some moments Yui replied.
"Ok, but be quick, we don't have all day"
Once on the ground, he cleared his throat. From nowhere a bunch of Reis came, it looked like he has his secret stock in case of an emergency. After these Reis formed behind him he spoke.
"Put me attention, this is very important"
"JUST BE QUICK!!!" Rei III shouted, shocking everyone.
"Ok" replied Gendo.
Somehow some music started to play; it seemed to have an arabic rhythm.
Some
people say that I'm a bad guy
They may be right, they may be
right!
But it's not as if I don't try
I just fuck up!
Try
as I might.
At this point everyone was: Oo.
But I can change, I can change!!!
I can
learn to keep my promises, I swear it!
I'll open up my heart and I
will share it!
Any minute now I will be born again!
Yes I can
change, I can change!!!
I know I've been a dirty little
bastard
Reis chorus: La la la la la lalala!
Reis III and Trabis had rolled their eyes, meanwhile Yui Rei I and Rei II were have some heavy thinking.
hectic
I like to kill, I like to maim,
yes, I'm insane, but IT'S OK
CAUSE I CAN CHANGE!!!!!!!
(After
killing some Reis) sigh
Rei I, Rei II and Yui were having a small smile, remembering the Gendo they had liked, Rei III were reconsidering her opinion about Gendo and trabis was still: Oo.
It's
not my fault that I'm so evil But I can change, I can change!
It's society, society.
You
see, my parents were sometimes abusive
And it made a prick of
me!
I can learn to keep my
promises I know it!
Reis chorus: La la la la la lalala!!
Yui: But what if
you never change? Gendo: Hey Yui!
I'll open up my heart and I will show
it!
Any minute now I will be born again!
What if you remain a sandy little
butthole?
Don't be such a twit
Mother
Teresa won't have shit on me!
Just watch, just watch me change
here I go I'm changing!!!
With that Gendo stared some very tricky dance; somehow it had some effect because Yui, Rei I and Rei II were slobbering over Gendo and Rei III were asking herself if it was wise to chose Shinji over Gendo, especially if Gendo could dance too damn well and tabris Oo.
After his dance four very amorous women tackled Gendo.
"Oh! Gendo, we're sorry for doubted you. Take us with you" Yui said after kissing Gendo, Rei I to III nodded.
"Hey what's wrong with all of you?" snapped Tabris. This gained him four dirty looks and of course a very happy EVA-01 proceeded to eat him.
From that point Third Impact took Gendo's choice, creating a world where he was the supreme ruler with a harem consisting of almost every women of evangelion. Unfortunate for Shinji, Gendo was still a bastard to him so he left Shinji in a dead world; of course Gendo left Asuka there too to make Shinji's life interesting, at least in Gendo's mind.
AN notes: I don't know what to think, just R&R.
