Ok so I haven't written for a while, and I've never braced the castle fanfic world but I hope this tickles your fancy, I just couldn't leave Kates devastated face in the final scene of the final episode Anyway, I own nothing yadda yadda yadda.

-oOo-

Desperate. She sounded so desperate in her own ears "See you in the fall?"

But, No matter how any times she revisited that conversation, she knew if she didn't ask that question, she wouldn't have made it to the end of summer.

Looking in the mirror, Kate Beckett stared at the hollow shell standing before her.

"Damn I shouldn't have drunk last night…" she whispered. But looking back at the broken fragments of last night, she knew if she didn't drink last night, she wouldn't have made it to the morning.

-oOo-

Kate was far passed the embarrassing stage of depression; still, she forcibly held her head high at the office. Marching into the precinct once again, she tried to convince her self the stares of her colleagues were laced with awe, and not pity. Another day at the desk, hopping that a murder would arise to distract her from the empty space to the left of her. She hated herself for wishing someone would stab someone-else, so she, wouldn't have to wallow in the self-pity of her romantic failure. For goodness-sake she hadn't even admitted to Castle that she was… that she liked him. How dare she wish someone to die, wish a world of pain upon his or her family. She knew if someone she loved died right now, it would be the end of her, because if she admitted it to herself, that one person was Castle. Damn him.

9:47, too early for a drink. It seemed that despite her ability to withstand the effects of alcohol, she had started to crave the intoxication they created. A world where she could forget to think. A world where any guy was Castle, because damn him, not being there, made him so much harder to get rid of. Thankfully this morning she didn't have to pretend to do some work, because it came to her.

A murder in the Hamptons, not to far from where she imagined his house was. The waves licked the sand only inches from the patio, while the soothing sound of silence beat relentlessly into her hung-over brain.

"Lanie! What've you found?", the ME clenched her jaw as she always did when she saw the bags under Kates eyes. "Your regular hit and run, only this one ran too. Early woman in her mid thirties, stabbed multiple times, seems that she kept perusing the murder, from the looks of the blood trail and bruising"

"You can calculate that from the body?"

"Well I did learn a thing or two from… novels, but I'd say it's less speculation more of an educated guess, from the stab wounds in the hand. See, if someone was defending themselves from the killer, generally they'd cover their body with their forearms, our vic here, has a stab wound in the hand and several marks around the thumb, which indicate she held the knife. Now you could say she just tried to catch the knife before she was struck, but there's a blood trail from the centre of the room to the corner, which then ends with the vic on her back towards the centre of the room. Looks to me like she cornered the killer and then was finally overpowered and thrown backwards to where she lies now. Course I'll leave you to speculate on how she was killed, I just thought you might need some inspiration to start you off with this case."

"Why do you think I need inspiration? I've been catching killers long enough to know where to start Lanie."

The bitterness intertwined with the comment seemed to come off her tongue by itself. She felt herself loosing control daily.

"No I didn't mean to suggest that Kate, I just think that maybe you need to see life outside of the precinct for a while, just take a little break girl"

"Lanie, someone's dead and others are mourning, right now my own feelings aren't a priority, and we can talk about this outside of work because I get enough non-work related comments without girl talk contributing".

She quickly busied herself in the investigation, wishing that she could blame her quick temper on her late night drinks, but knowing it was her defensive wall blocking out everyone she cared for. Damn him.

Hoping you enjoyed, I'll continue with the help of reviieewws, please give advice too guys!