The solitude of Fangorn forest can be maddening. A journey deep into these woods can prove perilous for the inexperienced. Luckily, our three travelers were up to the challenge.
Legolas the elf, Aragorn the ranger, and Ghimli the dwarf were on a mission of the utmost importance. Two of their comrades had been snatched up by the dark forces of Saruman the White.
"Do you hear anything?" Aragorn asked Legolas.
Legolas looked deep into the forest and listened. He was hoping to hear the the soft footsteps of two small Hobbits making their way through the woods. His keen elf ears heard nothing but the faint rustling of the wind through the trees.
"Nothing." He said sorrowfully.
They pressed on. The forest thickened and the trees loomed ever larger overhead. Suddenly, Legolas saw something move in the brush on his right. When he turned to look, he saw nothing but a shrub. It was shaking as if something had just brushed up against it.
"What is it Legolas?" Aragorn asked.
"I am not sure. Something was there, but now it is gone." He said concerned.
Ghimli had finally noticed that something was awry.
"What are the two of you gawking at?" He asked gruffly.
"Nothing as of yet." Legolas answered.
Ghimli grunted and began to peer into the woods along with the other two. A faint sound began to slowly rise in the air around them.
"Laughter?" Legolas raised his bow and swiftly pulled an arrow from his quiver.
Aragorn followed suit and drew his sword. Ghimli, looking a bit nervous, raised his axe.
"Show yourselves!" Ghimli yelled.
Legolas heard something coming. It was moving at an incredible speed. It moved around them rustling the under brush. Twigs snapped and leaves were being heaved up into the air as it approached.
Legolas scanned the trees, suddenly something was standing before him. He looked down to see a girl, her eyes were to the ground. She had soft brown hair and fair skin. Her shoulders were heaving up and down as she breathed heavily. He could not shake the overwhelming sense of dread this human gave him. Surely, this was a trap set by the enemy.
His dread worsened when the girl finally raised her head. Her eyes were wide and glassy. Her mouth was fixed in a large grin. A line of drool was slowly leaking from one side of her mouth and her laughter increased as she moved closer. Legolas stepped back as the strange woman approached. Her attire was odd. She did not look like a normal girl of Middle Earth. Her tunic was odd and it seemed to bear the picture of a man upon it. He looked closely and could see the letters O-R-L-I scrawled beneath the picture.
"What manner of creature are you!" Legolas demanded.
The drooling girl did not answer, she moved closer, her heavy breathing transformed into frantic laughter. Soon they were surrounded by more of the strange women. All of them were wide eyed and laughing like the first they had encountered. The three travelers stood back to back against the onslaught.
"We must make a move." Aragorn whispered to Legolas.
Legolas knodded in agreement. They had to get away somehow. Then suddenly, a feeling of fatigue came over him. He felt as if he was going to faint. His keen vision began to blur . He looked towards Ghimli and Aragorn. Aragorn had his head in his hands, and was trying to keep his balance. Ghimli also seemed to be affected, he was wiping his brow as he sweat profusely. Aragorn began to fall, Legolas tried to catch him but all went black before he could rescue him.
Legolas awakened to find himself lying on a soft velvet covered bed. When he sat up he discovered that he was bare from the waist up. The room was furnished lavishly. He had to be in a castle, but whose? He got out of bed and walked to the window. He was definitely in a castle, and he had to be in one of its highest towers. He could see for miles, the golden hills in the distance, and the mountains beyond. Was this Gondor? Could everything be over? Before he could contemplate the situation further the door slammed open.
Aragorn stood in the doorway wearing a velvet robe. He walked slowly towards Legolas smiling seductively. Legolas felt uncomfortable by Aragorn's body language, but he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him. He wanted to go to Aragorn and oblige him in every way. Aragorn reached Legolas and grabbed his hand.
"I want your hot man sausage." He pleaded.
Legolas cocked his head to the side and replied, "What?"
"You heard me I want you to fill my pleasure hole!"Aragorn yelled.
"W-w-what is that supposed to mean?" Legolas was coming out of the lovesick trance.
Aragorn would never say such strange things. Although the situation made no sense to begin with, surely Aragorn would have more tact than that. Aragorn became enraged and rushed towards Legolas. Legolas easily dodged him at first, but it seemed as if his elf reflexes were beginning to fail him. Aragorn's next attack proved successful and Legolas found himself pinned beneath him upon the velvet bed cover.
"Aragorn you must wake up. This is not like you. Remember, remember the past. Arwen what about her?" He pleaded.
"FUCK THAT BITCH, OMFG! YOU ARE TEH HAWT!" Aragorn screamed.
Legolas felt a searing pain in his side. He looked up and Aragorn's face had been replaced by a huge drooling head with huge black eyes. He was back in Fangorn forest. The small female horde had transformed into a group of hideous monsters. Their heads had grown large, and their bodies had elongated to accommodate the weight. Small fingers were replaced by long bony hands and long claws. One of these long claws had pierced Legolas in the side pinning him to the ground.
Legolas threw his fist into the side of the monster's head with all his strength. The monster let out a horrid high pitched scream and ran off into the woods. Legolas quickly stood up and grabbed retrieved his knives. A group of the monsters had Ghimli pinned against a tree, he wasunconscious . They were prodding at his armor making gurgling noises. Legolas advanced and swiftly decapitated one of Ghimli captors. The other monsters ran off into the woods dropping Ghimli to the ground. He looked behind to see Aragorn being accosted by the remaining group of monsters. They had removed his tunic and armor and were taking turns rubbing their backsides on Aragorn's bare chest. Ghimli had awoken and was appalled at what he saw.
"WHAT are they doing?" He yelled.
"Something that they won't be doing for much longer." Legolas said angrily.
They both rushed towards the monsters. Ghimli swung his axe and caught one of the vermin on the end of it. He threw the garbage into a tree and it writhed on the ground until it's movement ceased. Legolas picked them off one by one. When he pierced the monster's heads he found that they would deflate and shoot into the air making a high pitched noise as they reduced in size. One by one the monsters went down. A few of the enemies that had run off came back, and Ghimli took care of them. He slashed at their heads and bodies until all that was left was a pile of meat.
When all the monsters had fallen Legolas and Ghimli stood silent for a second among the carnage. Legolas remembered Aragorn and he ran to his side Ghimli in tow. Aragorn was still unconscious. He seemed to be mumbling something under his breath.
"Aragorn, Aragorn!" Legolas yelled as he tried to shake Aragorn to consciousness.
Aragorn awoke with a start. Upon seeing Legolas he quickly moved away from him, looking at Legolas confused.
"Don't worry it was all a dream. Those creatures had the power to infiltrate the mind." Legolas told Aragorn.
"Wha' happened to the two of you?" Ghimli said.
Aragorn did not answer Ghimli's inquiry. He was embarassed at what he had seen while in the monster's trance.
Aragorn found his clothing and redressed himself. Legolas tended to his wound, luckily it wasn't that deep. Ghimli stood against a tree awaiting his comrades. They were all quiet until Ghimli broke the silence.
"What happened, why are the two of you so quiet?" Ghimli persisted.
Legolas and Aragorn remained silent. They wanted to leave the memory of the strange encounter behind them in Fangorn forest.
The End Ya'll