The first in what might be a long line of Total Drama fairytales.
Disclaimer: I own nothing except Sir Horatio.
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The King of Latot-Amard was getting old.
He realized that the time had come for his daughter to marry.
But the sensible and demanding Princess Courtney would not take just anyone as her husband.
She told her father to set each suitor a series of tasks. Whoever completed them would be worthy of the princess' hand.
But suitor after suitor came and went, unable to complete the nearly impossible tasks. The King eventually opened the challenge to anyone instead of just those of noble birth. Though Princess Courtney did not think a mere peasant could do what a Prince could not.
It is here that our story begins…
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There was a small village in the corner of the kingdom that was known for being a town of thieves and cut-throats. The town was called Juvie and in it lived a boy named Duncan.
He was the blacksmith's apprentice. He was fairly good at his craft and very skilled with the weapons he forged. He was the pride of his community and his teachers couldn't wait to see him become the best thief in Latot-Amard
But Duncan was smart; he didn't want to spend his life on the run, always hiding, with just a pile of gold to show for his hard work. He didn't want to retire with his earnings back to Juvie, the only place he could live without fear of being caught. He wanted an easier life than that.
Then the news of the King's Challenge came to their town. A lot of men wished to have a go at it but were either too lazy or too fearful that they would be imprisoned or hanged.
Duncan however, did not have a bounty on his head and saw the challenge as the perfect opportunity to live the good life. He'd be rich and be married to a beautiful princess. What could be better?
With that thought in mind, Duncan packed a bag of clothing and supplies and strapped his favorite weapons to his belt before setting off for the capitol.
-:-
The castle was large and intimidating but Duncan felt no fear. This formidable fortress would be his soon.
Once he told the guards his purpose, he was instantly brought to the throne room.
The King was seated in his gilded throne enjoying the antics of his jester. The princess was on his left, looking thoroughly disgusted with the fool's jokes and tricks. And on his right was the King's adopted son, Sir Horatio, son of the late Sir William, one of the Kings' most trusted knights. He was the watching the jester with an amused smirk.
The fool was dismissed once Duncan was presented. The King welcomed him and was surprised when the apprentice only gave a curt nod in return. The princess' glare intensified as did Sir Horatio's smirk.
"You have come to complete my challenge and in doing so; win the heart of my daughter?"
Duncan glanced at the princess and saw she was indeed stunning however the haughty look on her face obscured her beauty like a ripple in water. But she was rich and could save Duncan from the fate that awaited him in Juvie.
"That I have sire,"
"Wonderful!" the King clapped his hands together, "You shall start at dawn but for tonight, you will dine with us and converse with the princess,"
Duncan would rather occupy the princess' mouth in other ways but he held his tongue and thanked the King for his hospitality.
-:-
Dinner was an interesting affair.
After being shown to where he would sleep during his stay, Duncan had been guided to the dining hall. He was seated between the King and princess Courtney while Sir Horatio occupied the seat on the King's other side.
Duncan had barely taken a sip of the rather exquisite wine when the princess began pestering him with questions about his home, his job and his family. Not wanting to get arrested, Duncan just said that he was an orphan from the outskirts and he was a blacksmith. All of which were truths. The princess seemed unimpressed and demanded to see his handiwork to judge how skilled a blacksmith he was.
This led to Duncan making a joke about how well he worked with his instruments which caused the princess to scoff, the King to spit out his wine and Sir Horatio to burst out laughing.
Once they had gotten over their shock, the princess immediately started griping about Duncan's table manners. The apprentice took it all in stride and answered her with his own snarky comments when he was sure the King would not overhear. And just when Duncan thought he might snap, a glob of pureed carrots hit the princess in the face. She sputtered at the assailant who continued to smirk before telling her not to scare their guest and offering his apologies to Duncan for his sister's behavior. Courtney gave a huff of annoyance and stormed from the room. Duncan and Horatio could not contain their laughter.
The King was confused by his daughter's actions and when asked to explain, the two boys could barely reply. Horatio finally blamed it on infatuation for her suitor. Duncan just laughed harder.
-:-
When dawn arrived, Duncan was once again escorted to the throne room where the King was waiting with his task.
"You are to go into the woods where a troll has made its home. Kill this monster and bring back its head."
Duncan accepted the task and made his way to the stables to procure a horse.
As he was leading the steed out of its stall, he was stopped by a cloaked figure.
The man told Duncan he could not fell the troll without aid. A normal sword would not even pierce its thick skin. The man held out his hand, two jewels lay in his palm.
"These are magical augments, a gift from my father. The red one will make your sword sharper than a dragon's scale. The blue will make your aim truer,"
Duncan could see the man spoke the truth and so he accepted the gift with many thanks. He attached the red jewel to his sword and the blue to his crossbow before he left the castle and ventured into the forest.
It did not take him long to find the troll. He could smell it a mile off and when he finally came upon it, it was tormenting a young boy, trying to capture him for its next meal.
Duncan surged forward and swung his sword at the giant monster's legs. Green blood splattered against the ground. The troll gave a scream of pain and surprise. Duncan, who was preparing for another swing, was not ready for the sudden contact of the troll's fist that had him sailing across the clearing.
Once he regained his breath and staggered to his feet, he charged again and claimed another hit to the troll's other leg. The monster fell to his knees in pain and Duncan grabbed his crossbow, shooting an arrow right into the troll's heart. The troll fell over dead and with barely a word of thanks, the lost little boy ran off towards home.
Duncan sighed and silently thanked his mysterious helper before slicing off the troll's head to bring back to the King.
-:-
The King was delighted and pleasantly surprised about Duncan's victory. He took Duncan's trophy to be presented to the townspeople who would be relieved not to have to suffer that monster's carnage any longer.
Even Princess Courtney was impressed by Duncan's courage and skill. She expressed her gratitude and winked at the apprentice when her father had his head turned. Duncan fought between a glow of pride and a wave of revulsion.
Sir Horatio stood and applauded Duncan's success, ignoring the looks he received for his exuberant behavior, that smug grin on his face all the while.
The next task would take place the following day and Duncan was yet again invited to dine with the King.
-:-
Dinner that evening was even more exciting than the last.
First, Courtney was much more attentive to Duncan, offering him wine and tidbits off her plate. She giggled at his jokes and listened to his stories and even responded positively to his flirting.
However, she still complained about his posture and lack of proper upbringing.
Duncan wondered if he could stand her as a wife but then the thought of being rich reminded him why he was here.
Halfway through the meal, about when Courtney had boldly yet subtly placed her hand on Duncan's knee, Horatio excused himself. The King's ward had been oddly silent the entire time. He blamed it on stomach pain and left quickly. Duncan was sad to see him go. He'd never seen someone as exotic as Horatio before. His pristine white hair and warm, slanted eyes made him almost as beautiful as the princess, if not more.
Duncan went to sleep that night exhausted and somewhat confused.
-:-
"Your task is to retrieve the Potentilla flower from the cliffs of the Eastern Mountains. Do this and you are one step closer to my daughter's hand."
This challenge would prove more difficult than the first. The Eastern Mountains were steep and unbearably cold; most suitors had turned back or died trying to complete this task. The stories of ice giants didn't help.
As Duncan prepared to set out, he was once again stopped by the same cloaked figure from the day before.
"You will never complete this task once you reach that cold mountain air. Take this cloak, another gift from my father; it shall keep you warm no matter how hard the wind blows. And this torch, once it is lit, nothing can extinguish it except the cloak. Good luck Duncan,"
Duncan muttered his thanks as the figure disappeared.
-:-
The apprentice was glad for his mysterious helper. He never would have survived this task without him. The day which had been sunny and warm when he had left the castle, had turned cold and dark, the moment he stepped into the mountains.
But thanks to the cloak, Duncan felt like he was taking a stroll through the woods, he couldn't even feel the harsh wind that blew relentlessly against him. And the torch remained alight as if it too had a magic cloak around it. It's light seemed to reach farther too, illuminating every rock and cranny he passed.
With these tools, it didn't take him long to find a beautiful pink flower so rare it only grew in the coldest of regions. Duncan picked it and tucked it in his belt before making his way back down into the valley.
-:-
The King was amazed that Duncan had not only succeeded but had returned in only a days' time with all of his limbs intact. It had taken the last suitor a week before he finally gave up and he was still at home thawing out.
Duncan had just shrugged and said it was nothing.
The King presented the flower to the princess who took it joyfully, looking at Duncan with affection.
Sir Horatio, who had rushed to the throne room from his sword practice, smiled at Duncan and wiped sweat from his brow.
-:-
After letting Duncan rest, they'd given him his dinner in his room. Once he was finished, he was invited to walk in the gardens with the princess.
Courtney asked him to regale her with the story of his adventure. She'd been put out when he'd told her it was a rather boring journey. They walked on in silence, having nothing in common to talk about.
But then, one of the princess' ladies-in-waiting had come with news that her father wanted to see her right away.
Duncan was relieved at her absence. He wandered through the garden lazily until he found his path blocked by a man leaning against a hedge.
It was Sir Horatio.
"I hope you appreciate what I had to go through to get you away from that harpy," that smug smirk appeared on his face.
Duncan blinked, "You did that? Thank you," Horatio shrugged.
"Twas nothing,"
They began to walk together in companionable silence, only speaking to ask each other's hobbies and finding out many mutual interests.
"Do you really want to marry the princess?" Horatio asked when they reached Duncan's room.
It was Duncan's turn to shrug, "It would be nice to not have to worry about money or status ever again,"
"I have a larger inheritance than Courtney," Horatio stared into the distance, "My father's estate and the King's. Plus if Courtney cannot provide an heir, I am next in line,"
Duncan absorbed this information, feeling hopeful and confused. Horatio shook his head.
"Goodnight Duncan," he left before the other male could say anything.
-:-
"Your final task shall be to journey to the island that lies in the middle of Lake Wawanakwa. There you shall find a wonderful ring, with luster beyond compare. Bring it back as my daughter's engagement ring."
Duncan grit his teeth and bowed to his King before departing.
And just as before, the second he brought his horse out of its stall, the cloaked figure came up beside him.
"The King did not say the whole truth. On this island, lives a witch, the ring is hers and she will not give it gladly. Give her this and she may part with it," he pressed a folded piece of parchment into Duncan's palm. A ruby earring was tied to it. "Good luck Duncan,"
The man turned to leave but Duncan was swift and grabbed his arm. The blacksmith tugged the man close and pulled back the hood, finally revealing his face.
"Why help me?" Duncan asked curiously, loosening his grip on the figure's elbow but not releasing him.
Horatio stared at him defiantly.
"Because I want to see you happy," he said without a hint of shyness. Duncan blinked.
"Why?" he had barely voiced his question before a warm mouth covered his own.
But it was over so quickly that Duncan wondered if he had imagined it.
Horatio smirked, "Don't get your hopes up, it's just that your mouth is very pretty."
He pulled out of Duncan's grasp and hurried off. Duncan shook his head and mounted his steed, galloping out of the stables towards the lake.
-:-
Duncan jumped onto the shore as his boat finally beached itself among the shallows. He made sure it was secure before looking around.
The beach was fairly small, the sand ending in thick, soft grass. There was a small clearing before the woods that took up the rest of the island began. In this clearing was a cottage and an old woman sat outside the door in a rocking chair, gazing into a crystal ball.
She was old, which surprised Duncan as he had been expecting a beautiful enchantress. But she was handsome despite her years, not quite at the point where she was stooped with age or wrinkling. Her hair was white with large black streaks and it fell in waves down her back.
She looked up when Duncan approached and did not seem alarmed by his presence.
"You are a long way from home young rogue," she spoke in a voice as crisp as autumn leaves.
"I have come to ask if I may have that ring upon your hand," he bowed his head politely.
"What would you want with an old widow's wedding band young rogue?"
He told her of his quest and she nodded sagely but still refused him his prize. It was the last thing she had left of her dead husband.
Duncan pulled the folded parchment from his pocket and held it out to the witch. She took it and gasped at the sight of the earring. She tucked her hair behind her ears, showing the earring's twin on her left lobe. She put the right one on and opened the letter, reading it before smiling smugly.
"Alright, you may have my ring but it is meant for only one person. Give it to its rightful owner and them alone," she placed the ring in Duncan's palm after he gave his word.
It was not a feminine ring as Duncan had thought from the King's description. It was a thick gold band with an engraving of a knight riding his horse into battle. It was a masterpiece and every detail was amazing from the small diamonds and rubies that made the horse's eyes and the enemy's blood, to the absolute terror and respect on the enemies faces.
He pocketed the ring and thanked the witch who wished him safe travels in return.
-:-
The King was absolutely ecstatic when Duncan returned victorious.
The princess was beaming in delight and she had to sit very still so as not to throw her arms around her suitor.
Sir Horatio was slouching in his seat, studying Duncan with a strange look in his eyes.
"Do you have something for my daughter?" the King asked gleefully. Duncan touched the ring in his pocket but did not pull it out. The princess would not appreciate this ring.
"Well?" the King prodded when Duncan remained silent. Sir Horatio cleared his throat. All present looked at him in confusion.
"Duncan has proved himself to be courageous, kind and skilled with a sword but he has not yet proved his wit," Horatio stared at Duncan who looked back at him, silently accepting the unspoken challenge, determination in his eyes.
"Answer this riddle," Horatio sat up and steepled his fingers together, "I am love personified but have no one to call my own. I am tossed about and yet never leave my post. I can make man poor and yet fulfilled. What am I?"
Duncan closed his eyes and thought but could not immediately think of the answer. His mind drifted to nights in the tavern in Juvie, all the men making dirty jokes and cursing. His eyes flew open and he saw Horatio smirk. He could not say the answer in front of the King!
"A, a l-lady of the night," he said, glancing between the King and his ward. Both looked amused.
"Say the correct term," Horatio was getting too much enjoyment out of this.
"A whore," Duncan crossed his arms and glared at Horatio. The princess gasped.
"Very good," the man smiled, "Now the second part. There are five whores, two are men and three are women, if I split them into genders, the answer is 2 to 3."
"A ratio," Duncan rolled his eyes.
"Almost correct, seeing the subject matter, the real answer would be?"
Duncan bit his lip, thrown off. Horatio's smirk became downright evil. Then it dawned on Duncan and he snorted in disbelief.
"It's a whore-ratio,"
He laughed as the King's ward grinned and congratulated him.
"Well done, does he pass your test Horatio?"
"Yes, he does," Horatio's eyes glittered and color bloomed on his tan cheeks. Duncan smiled.
He knew the ring's rightful owner.
"Excellent! Then I believe this man has something to ask my daughter," he looked at Duncan expectantly and the princess was practically jumping out of her chair.
Duncan just shifted his weight and yawned.
"Actually your majesty, in your original decree, you said any man who completes your tests gets one wish. I guess you thought every man would want to marry your daughter which is true. Except for me, that is not my wish."
The King looked dumbfounded, "Then what is your wish?" he could not deny Duncan; he had indeed passed every test.
"Money," Horatio spoke up, that same defiant look in his eye from that morning.
Duncan shook his head and looked right at the King.
"I wish for your ward's hand, not your daughter's."
Princess Courtney gave a screech of rage and rushed from the room. The rest of the company was silent.
"Really?"
Horatio had stood from his seat and walked to Duncan's side. The blacksmith smirked.
"Don't get your hopes up, I just like your pretty mouth," he grabbed Horatio's hand and pushed the ring onto his finger. Horatio looked at it in wonder. His father's ring.
The King's ward smiled and before his majesty and all present, pulled his beloved into a heated kiss.
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FIN
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Wow, this turned out longer than expected. But I'm very happy with it.
This story is not based off any fairytale in particular but I feel like I've read some elements of it somewhere before. Probably based off the typical tale of a peasant who beats all these tests to win his beloved princess. Except I think this ending is better.
Yes, the witch is Horatio's mother. Magic is feared however so she left her son in care of the King when Sir William died. He received all magic items from her but they originally belonged to his father. I based Sir William's name off of Shakespeare, from which Horatio gets his name.
After the ending I expect they got married, threw Courtney in the lake and then sailed off to see the world. You know, perfectly happy ending and all that.
Potentilla means beloved daughter which I think is very fitting.
Did I trick any DxC fans with that summary? I hope I did!
Any fairy tales that you would like to see? Please tell me!
Thank you for reading and please wish that I continue to get inspiration!
Also, please ignore my horrible punny riddles.