I CAN'T REMEMBER, I CAN'T FORGET

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I'm a young teen, and I can't even afford a pack of gum, let alone CSI.

Summary: She forced herself to forget, but there are some things that she cannot forget.

A/N: No beta, sorry for mistakes. There's a Character Death, just so y'all know.

You're gone so I forced myself to forget the special moments that we shared. I was in so much pain when I remembered these special moments, so I forced myself to forget.

I can't remember when we first met.

I can't remember our first date.

I can't remember our first kiss.

I can't remember the first time we made love.

I can't remember what you said when you proposed to me.

I can't remember our wedding day.

I can't remember waking up to you every morning.

I can't remember how happy we were when we found out that I was pregnant.

However, no matter how hard I try, I cannot forget the things I want to forget.

I can't forget that horrible night.

I can't forget the phone call I received from Brass.

I can't forget the sinking feeling I got in my gut when Jim told me the dreadful news.

I can't forget seeing your lifeless body on Doc Robbins' cold, metal slab.

I can't forget the tears that streamed down my cheeks when I looked into your empty eyes.

I can't forget the instant cramping I got in my stomach, and the blood.

I can't forget going to the doctor, and having her tell me I miscarried our child.

I can't forget the nightmares I've been having. All of them have your dead body in it.

I can't forget these things, and that causes me more pain.

"God, I hate you!" I scream. "You're cruel and ruthless! You took him, and our unborn child away from me! Why did you have to take them? They were my world!"

I start to cry, and I whisper, "Please God...make my pain stop! I can't take it anymore!"

I walk into my bathroom, and open up the medicine cabinet. I pluck a bottle of pills off the shelf, and return to the living room. I rethink everything I can't forget, and pop a pill into my mouth at every memory I cannot force from my mind. I do this until the bottle is empty. My vision suddenly clouds, and I fall unconscious. My breathing stops, and, in a few minutes, so does my heart.

A/N: I know this fic is kind of dark, sorry. Also, I am sorry for killing off our two favorite geeks. Review if you liked it, review if you hated it...please?