A/N: This was written for Jily Week on Tumblr, I grew a little fond of it, and now it's here.

Fifty Galleons
or
"The Death of Lily Evans"

"We are gathered here today in the memory of Lily Evans. Now that she is a Potter, there will not be a day she does not live in regret, wishing for her maiden name and the life she had with it."

Sirius spoke with a solemn tone, and eyeballed his audience, daring them to laugh. Of course, that only made the snickers increase. He tutted at the lot of them, the humorously-minded bastards, and raised his right arm in a flamboyant movement. At his cue, the four-man band that sometimes played at the Leaky Cauldron– the one Lily loved and James hated, but Lily had insisted upon because James got to pick the table decorations (quaffles dotted every place setting) – started a slow funeral march, with the interesting addition of a saxophone.

"Lily, oh Lily, where did you go wrong?" Sirius crooned mournfully, addressing the bride, who was now swaying to the music. "You could have stayed a lone flower, forever swaying in freedom, and you have allowed yourself to be potted." James snorted at that. Sirius took it as a sign that he wouldn't be excommunicated.

"I always thought she would have been smarter," Sirius continued, addressing the reception once more. "Top of the year-"

"Almost," interjected James. Sirius waved the intrusion away.

"Top of the year, except for this git who used to do all his work at the last minute and still get full marks. Jared, I think his name was, or Jacob … Jamie? Anyone know what happened to Jamie?"

"He was a useless prat, anyway."

"Right you are, Gid." Sirius signalled for the band to stop before he continued. "Maybe Lily's just married James here in the hope that their kids will be the smartest children on the planet. But I think her own intelligence has been diminished as a result of her beau. We are talking about the man who once rhymed 'Lily' with 'filly' in a love song. Like comparing her to a horse was going to get him shagged."

The tables seating their school mates laughed the most; everyone who'd been at Hogwarts in '75 remembered that song, yelled in the middle of dinner in early October. Though of course … "He chickened out before singing it, though. Got a first year in want of quick cash to do the dirty work, didn't you Prongs?"

"Poor Bertram Aubrey never recovered," said Lily gravely.

"Just because you said no," Sirius contested, and he could hear Remus laughing in disbelief. "James and I doubled the size of his head for that. Said it was Aubrey's toneless voice which left him dateless at Halloween." He pointed a finger at her, and there was a low whistle from one of the front tables. "The number of detentions we got for your sake, I tell you, Evans."

"Potter, actually."

At James's voice, an awwww rose in unison from the audience. Sirius glared at them.

"Serious, sad occasion here, remember?" He paused, waiting for laughter to subside.

"It took two hundred and six rejections – yes, we counted – for Lily to finally agree to go out with James. I still think she said yes just to get him to stop asking. And that's probably why we're here today. Or blackmail, I haven't quite decided.

"Though it's likely the latter. Lily, does your family know about the filing cabinet at school containing your husband's criminal record? Packed to bursting, it is." His eyes skirted to the table of Lily's relatives, and smothered a smirk at the sight of Petunia Dursely - the actual horse of the family, he and Peter had decided – looking at her sister in unease.

"Oh, I forgot, that's listed on the 'Banned Topics' of tonight." Sirius reached into the pocket of his midnight blue dress robes, the ones which the sales assistant with the corkscrew blond curls had told him brought out his eyes, and withdrew a scroll of parchment. Theatrically, he removed the ribbon tying it together, and the length of the ream dropped to the ground. Sirius cleared his throat. "Just a warning, Ladies and Gents, don't talk about James's pudding-bowl haircut from when he was twelve, the time James cheated on our third year potions exam, the Puddlemere United 'where have our uniforms gone' incident, or the time James crashed his broom though McGonagall's office window."

Mr and Mrs Potter senior looked slightly alarmed at that, and Sirius realised that James may have conveniently forgotten to mention that incident, considering that he'd never actually gotten caught. Whoops. He resolved to ensure that they both had enough drinks to forget to press the issue, and smoothly continued his speech by looking back at the wedding party.

"Love potion or dumb luck, James popped the question and Lily said yes." A pause, for effect, and Sirius revelled in it. "You can stop being nice, you know." There was more laughter, and Sirius smiled, looking at the newlyweds.

"Lily's still the girl who let me sit next to her at dinner on our first night at Hogwarts, even though I'd just been an absolute git on the train. The prefect who never failed to let me off the hook, even though I made a good effort to annoy her to her grave. Which isn't going to stop, even though you're mature and married and bordering on middle-aged. Sorry, love.

"And James, thanks for saving the drowned puppy who washed up in your life. I'd honestly be either in a circus or Azkaban if it weren't for you." Sirius noticed some confused glances from the Muggle guests, and hastily pressed on. "You're my best mate, and you deserve the world. You're so rich you practically own it, anyway." His eyebrow arched. "Oh don't tell me you're paying the poor girl. I'm only joking, mate!" His voice softened. "You two were moulded for each other. And you've turned me into a sentimental pansy, so I'm going to shut up now. Just one last thing…"

Grinning, Sirius again reached into the pocket of his robes and drew out a small leather sack, placing it with a flourish by James's plate. The groom looked at him in confusion.

"In Fourth Year we had Firewhiskey for the first time, and you may have forgotten this, lightweight as you are, but I wasn't drunk enough to fail to recall that you bet me fifty galleons that, I quote; 'Mate, I telling you, Evans and I? We'll be married, some … someday. You … you bet on it.' Stupidly, I did. So here, buy yourselves a nice dinner set."

There was applause, and Sirius quietened it with both hands. "Shush, the lot of you. We have to end this properly." He raised his goblet, and motioned for everyone to do the same. "To Potter and Potter! Living proof that if you stalk someone for long enough, they're bound to like you eventually."

He drank with everyone else, and as he did there were flashes of the Lily and the James he'd witnessed through the years, over and over again until they'd become LilyandJames, an inseparable unit. He couldn't pinpoint the exact moment he'd been unable to distinct his best friend from the girl he loved, at what time their faces began to appear together in his mind. He was there for their first meeting, had endured hours of 'How To Get Evans To Date Me', had been forced to suffer a detailed account of their first date and inevitable first kiss.

What made him smile was the knowledge that the constant connection he had with the pair wouldn't end, and he looked forward to becoming a permanent fixture on their couch.

When everyone had murmured "Lily and James", and attention was again upon the still-standing Best Man, Sirius bit his lip, placed his hand over his hand, and stared despondently at the toes of his shoes. "Lily Evans, may she rest in peace."

The best fifty galleons he'd ever lost.