I always knew I was different...I was born in the fire nation with bright green eyes, that was my first clue. From the time of my birth many different occurrences set me apart from my peers, the biggest of all; I wasn't a firebender, I was a waterbender, of sorts. My mother, worried about my safety, sent me to live with the royal family. She was a close friend to princess Ursa, Ursa already loved me like a daughter though having two children of her own, Prince Zuko, her eldest was a year older than me, and her daughter, princess Azula was a year younger. My mother was certain we would become fast friends, but my thoughts were different. Azula was insane even at her young age; though a skilled firebender she was cruel and only wanted power...but Zuko, Zuko intrigued me; he was gentle though he would never admit it. I knew he would do great things. The day came when I was to leave my home and join the royal family in the palace. When I arrived I was greeted by the warm, loving arms of Ursa, and a very timid Zuko. Him, I would become fast friends with.
I stepped onto the palace courtyard, only to be nearly killed by a burst of flames. "Azula" I grimaced at the thought. I was pushed out of the way just before they hit me. I hit the ground with a thump.
"Your sister is crazy!" I shouted at Zuko who was lying on the ground next to me.
"You don't have to convince me." He said sitting up and brushing dirt off his shoulder.
Azula, Ty lee and Mai laughed, I glared at them.
"Thanks for saving me," I said brushing the rest of the dust off him "you didn't have to do that,"
He looked at me for a moment, smiled and said:" oh yes I did, I'm not going to let my only ally get burnt to a crisp, I mean how's that going to help me?"
I pushed him and he laughed" Well gee thanks Zuko" I said playfully
"Aww," Azula crooned "aren't they just cute?" she asked her friends, Ty lee nodded.
"No!" Mai shouted as she stormed off. Azula just laughed.
Mai had a crush on Zuko just like half of the other fire nation girls, but he was completely oblivious to this little piece of information, which I was immensely grateful for. We got up to leave.
"Zuzu?"
Zuko winced at the sound of his sister's voice "What Azula?" he said without turning around. He grabbed my wrist just in case we needed a quick get away...or if he had to save my life again.
"Come play with us!" she teased
"No! You tried to kill Shae-
"You mean your girlfriend?" she said laughing
My cheeks got hot, and his grip tightened as he pulled my away, their laughter still rang in my ears. "At least he didn't say no..." I thought.
"Zuko, Zuko! Zuko stop you're hurting me!" I yelled, his grip was so tight I couldn't feel my fingers, he let go.
"I'm sorry" he said letting my hand drop.
"Its okay," I said walking towards him I put my hand on his shoulder "what's wrong?" I asked him quietly
He pulled his hand up to meet mine. He squeezed my hand a little turned around and pulled me into a tight embrace.
"Well that's new," I said returning the hug.
"Would it kill us for Azula to be right about something?"
I pulled away from him, "That would depend on what she was right about,"
His cheeks went pink but not enough for it to be a blush, he stared at me, and his gold eyes were so intense that they made me blush, I looked away.
He gently lifted my chin to look at him again.
"What if she was right about us..." This made me blush even harder "what if she was right about you being my girlfriend?" his voice trailed off near the end.
I hesitated "well...I guess it would be tolerable," I teased looking down slightly
"Really?" He asked shocked
"Well why not? I mean we're young so we should wait for a little but in the near future I would be honored to be your girlfriend." I replied
"You could do so much-
"Zuko! Shaeli! Its time to come in!" Ursa called to us from the steps.
We went in without another word, thinking we would have time to talk later...we didn't.
Ursa, in the middle of the night came to Zuko explaining everything she had done was for him. The next morning she was gone. This tortured Zuko...and I felt horrible for what I would have to do to him, I knew full well that without the protection of Ursa the fire nation was no longer safe for me. I would have to leave. I would have to abandon Zuko.
It was a warm autumn day, Zuko was sitting by the palace pond, he hadn't left it since his mother's disappearance, and he was sitting with his arms wrapped around his legs, his chin resting on his knees. He had been crying. I hadn't seen him all morning, he said he didn't want me to see him like this and then ran off. I went and sat by him putting my head on his shoulder.
"I don't know what to say to you;" I said softly "It seems like everything I say is the wrong thing to say...I'm so sorry..."
He didn't answer.
I sighed and stood up to leave.
"Don't go. Please...Please don't go," he managed to choke out before more tears fell.
"Are you talking to me...or your mom..." he couldn't answer me, he could barely breath.
I sat down and wrapped my arms around him "shushing" and he stifled his sobs.
"I know. What. You're planning on doing. You can't leave me. Not now Shaeli."
"You know it's not up to me...it's not safe for me here-
"I could keep you safe..."
"How could you keep me safe here when it's not even safe for you?"
"I'll find a way! But you can't leave!" he yelled, letting his temper get the better of him and pulling away from me "I won't let you! I won't lose both of you in less than a month..." He said calming himself down and walking towards me. I turned away.
"Shaeli?" he said asking about my rejection.
I took a deep breath, I had known it would be this way; I would have to make him hate me.
"No Zuko, I hate it here and you know it. You just want to keep me here for your own selfish reasons, and I'm not going to let that happen. I want to see the world, and find someone you will really love Me." my voice cracked on my last few words and tears filled my eyes. "I'm leaving you Zuko. And I'm not coming back." I finished and walked off up the stairs to find that Azula had been listening to the entire conversation, I winced at the thought of the grief she was going to give him, even at eleven years old she thrived on hurting others and with me gone Zuko, My sweet innocent Zuko who had believed me so easily would be the subject of her ridicule. She smiled viciously at me as I passed then looked back to a broken and lifeless prince Zuko. I ran to my room grabbed my belongings, leaving my hair ornament on the pillow of Zuko's bed, and held the necklace he had given me the prior year close to me and then left. I arrived in the northern water tribe about a month later to begin training my water bending, though it had to be a secret. Two years later I mastered it, being fourteen years of age I packed up everything I had and left again. I found myself in the southern earth kingdoms in a small town called plains village, living with a family with two sons Sensu who was a year and a half older than me and lee, who was about eight.
I'd been living with the family for about six months before Sensu left to go fight in the war, but not without kissing me goodbye, I wanted to be in love with him, but something kept stopping me. About a year later a strange traveler paid us a visit. He was handsome with dark brown hair and golden eyes; he was mysterious with a dark scar that covered his left eye and ear, obviously inflicted by the fire nation. The place I once called home was nothing more than a distant memory, one that caused me both pain and hatred.
"Shaeli! Shaeli! This guy just saved me from those soldiers!" Lee yelled running towards me.
"Did he now?" I smiled looking up at the stranger "and what is-
"Your name is Shaeli?" he asked me softly
"Yes, why?" I questioned him
He hesitated "I used to know a Shaeli, but she disappeared a long time ago..." He said letting his voice trail off "it doesn't matter...I should be on my way." he said turning around.
"Wait, you look terrible, stay with us for one night, Have a hot meal; you look like you could use it." I said to the handsome stranger.
He clutched at his stomach and agreed sourly. We walked towards the house where Lee was explaining to his father how the stranger had saved him, Lee's mother then came over asking his name, Lee's father interrupted the stammering stranger
"He doesn't have to say who he is if he doesn't want to."
I would find out his name soon enough, he went to help on the farm before dinner. I cut up some cabbage for the stew when Lee's mother waltzed in with a small paper in her hands.
"Its from Sensu," She said smiling "For you dear." she finished handing it to me.
"My dear Shaeli-" I started before she interrupted
"No dear, it's for you now you can share what you like after dinner, go on now,"
I bowed and walked out the door. I sat on a rock near a stream that ran near the farm and opened the letter.
My dear Shaeli,
So much has changed since I saw you last, its been over a year since I had the privilege of holding you in my arms, I miss you more than I can express through writing...this war is not going to end soon, and I will not have you waiting until it does, before I left you said you wanted to see the world, and you are going to do that. I want you to leave and find a man who will love you as much if not more than I. Someone who will take care of you rather than running off to war like a fool. I do love you, and I always will, remember me on the day...
I couldn't finish the letter; my vision was blurry from the tears swelling in my eyes. I dropped the letter and buried my face in my hands.
"What's wrong?" said a gentle voice from behind me, it was our guest. He sat down next to me as I brushed the tears off my cheeks.
"Sensu, Lee's older brother...um he..." I couldn't finish so I just held up the letter.
He looked at it solemnly "bad news?" He asked softly.
I shook my head, "No, not for his family…he um…he just broke up with me is all...asked me to leave and find someone else..."
"That's cruel of him, I'm sorry Shaeli." he said wiping yet another tear off my cheek.
"No, he doesn't want me to have to wait...he loves me...but enough to let me go..."
"So you're leaving then."
"I don't have anywhere else to go...but I don't have a choice either." I said looking down
"You could come with me..." He said quietly I blushed so did he "Just until you find...where did you get that necklace?" he said suddenly
I looked down at the shells and blue beads strung on a thin nylon cord that Prince Zuko had given to me a long time ago.
I couldn't tell him that I was wearing a gift from the fire prince. "Um...an old friend gave it to me...why-"
"No, I made that..." he looked at me, "It can't be...Shaeli...Shaeli Homston?"
I hadn't told anyone my real name "How do you know that?" I asked him sharply
He laughed "You really don't recognize me?"
"No, I think I would remember that..." I broke off as to not offend him
"Scar?" He asked looking down a smile still on his face "No you wouldn't, it happened after you left. Shaeli, Its me, Its Zuko."
Chapter two Reunion
"Zuko?" I asked quietly more tears falling from my eyes.
"Yes, Shaeli, its me." He said pulling me into his arms I wrapped my arms around his waist and cried into his chest, he cried too but ont even half as muhc as me.
"Shh. Shh its okay, Shaeli its alright," He said quietly stroking my hair
"No its not! Zuko how can you not hate me?" I cried "I left you! I told you I didn't love you! I told you you didn't love me!"
"I knew you were lying," he said holding me tighter
I calmed myself down a bit, "Leaving you was the hardest thing I've ever had to do...I wanted you to just hold me in your arms and tell me everything would be alright, but you couldn't because you knew it wouldn't."
"I knew I wouldn't be able to stop you."he said softly
"Anything you said would have made me stay, that's why I didn't listen to a word you said, I had to leave, and it killed me." I said begining to cry again,
"I know." he said kissng the top of my head.
I remained silent.
"I never stopped loving you Shaeli."
I squeezed him tighter he did the same. And there we stayed until the moon shown in the sky. I was drowsy, so he carried me to my room. Lee's parents gasped when we reached home Zuko assured them that I was just asleep and that he was only taking me to bed. When he set me down he kissed my forehead and blew out the candle.
"Don't go," I said before he reached the door.
"I'll stay just until you fall asleep, but then I'll have to go,"
I shot up abruptly "You're leaving?" I almost yelled.
He chuckled softly "T o go to bed yes, but i'm not leaving you, I'll never leave you." He said lying down next to me
I placed my head on his shoulder placed one hand on his back and the other on his chest he wrapped both arms around me, he was warm.
"Are we old enough?" He asked me
"Old enough for what?"
"When we were kids you said that when we were older you'd be my girlfriend, so are we old enough?"
I smiled "Not yet," I said leaning up and sitting on his legs
He sat too "What?" He asked shocked
I leaned forward, so did he until we were inches from each other, and then when he couldn't wait any longer he grabbed me and pulled me into him.
Our lips met, it started out soft and gentle but his lips were hungry on mine, he had waited years for this and he was going to live it up to its fullest. as soon as it had begun we were lying out my bed I was on top my hands caressing his face, his tracing my back. Finally I pulled away he leaned up towards me wanting more but I pushed him away.
"No, Zuko we need to stop,"
He looked at me "Why? I thought you wanted this."
I looked down at what I was wearing, my over dress had been ripped off and all that remained were my under clothes, His robes were off as well he was only wearing trousers
"I do, but I didn't know emotions like that could come out of me, and I just think we're moving so fast, we just barley came back into each others lives...and I want it to stay that way for a long time...not just one night." I stammered looking down at the floor
He pulled me into a gentle hug " I love you Shaeli."
"I never thought I'd hear that come out of you..." I said returning the hug
"We are moving fast, but its because we've both wanted this for a long time. We're making up for lost time, we're making up for three years of lusting after each other." he said gently "I should go to bed, Lee's parents are probably wondering whats taking me." He kissed me softly. "Shaeli, will you come with me when I leave tomorrow?"
I looked him gently in the eyes. "I'll decide that when tomrrow comes, it will be hard to leave another family."
"Alright." He said and turned towards the door.
"Zuko," I called "I think we're old enough now," He smiled before walking out the door
I fell asleep a few moments later; my dreams brought me back to the day I left the fire nation, it wasn't a day I liked to remember. I remembered the pain I felt when I ripped Zuko's heart out, and the night-mares that followed after I did so, they were terrible things that made me scream in terror, but now all I felt was...shaking? Someone was trying to wake me .
"Shaeli? Shaeli" I heard a voice whisper, Zuko's voice. "Shaeli, you were screaming, are you alright?" he asked in a frantic voice
"I'm fine, but how did you hear me?" I asked sitting up, knowing he was staying in the barn there was no way he could have heard me.
He blushed slightly. "I was worried about you so I came in to check on you...and when I heard you scream I thought something was wrong..." He said softly brushing my cheek gently
"It's just night-mares, Zuko really I'm fine." I said looking down at his hand that he placed just above my knee. "I thought we agreed to take the whole intimacy thing slower." I said looking up at him.
"We did, am I not allowed to touch you at all?" He said with sad eyes
"Well, you can touch me..I'm sorry Zuko I'm just nervous, that's all, I mean I'm running away with you...and we barely know each other...and I just-"
I was inturupted by him kissing me softly then pulling back "Were you having night-mares about running away with me?" He asked quietly wrapping me in his arms, so much for taking it slow.
"No, they were about when I left you..." I explained
"You had night-mares when we were kids too. I'd find you in the middle of the court yard terrified and crying."
"Yeah...you always were the only one who could calm me down..."
"What were your dreams about? I'd always wanted to ask you but I didn't have the heart to make you talk about something that scared you so terribly."
I stayed quiet for a moment, Zuko just stroked my arm softly "They were about you...about us..."
He stopped stroking, "I scared you?"
"No, heavens no Zuko, they were about you getting hurt or about us being seperated...it just so happened that both of them came true...Zuko, what happened to you? After I left..."
He sat perfectly still and silent for a long time, finally he said, "My father was just as cruel as you always thought him to be..."
"Oh?" I asked. I knew egging him on was pointless but if anyone was going to find out this story it was going to be me.
He sighed "It was a about a month before my fourteenth birthday, and I was insisnant on going to a war meeting. My uncle got me in but made me promise not to speak, and well...I don't think I should be telling you this story..."
I expected as much, but I had gotten him to tell me more than I expected. "Zuko I'm so sorry."
"Its not your fault Shaeli."
And then we were quiet, for the rest of the morning we just sat there. I remembered the times when we were kids we rarely talked but we understood each other. I let it stay quiet even though I had so much to ask him: the rest of his story, Azula, His father, why he was here and not at the palace, and most importantly what had happened between him and Mai. They both had a fancy for each other as children, and even though Zuko preferred me I couldn't help but think that after I left he ran to her for comfort.
"Zuko, hows Mai?" I asked hesitantly
"Mai?" Zuko asked blushing "Why do you want to know about Mai?"
"Did you two ever...you know...get together?"
"Mai and me?" He asked laughing softly "Maybe for a little but when she saw how torn up I was about you leaving she got mad and left me,"
"How rude." I said coldly