*Disclaimer: We own nothing! We do not own the characters of Twilight or the plot. Stephenie Meyer has all ownership. This is intended to make people laugh hysterically until they cry. No copyright infringement intended.
Chapter 1: The Dance Begins
Bella Swan sits on her bed on a Saturday night pondering about her next ballet recital. Loneliness creeps in her heart as she wonders when will she find someone to dance with. Tired of dancing alone and without someone who would help give her inspiration she needs, she walks over to her CD player.
She wipes away tears as she presses play. Chopin's Nocturne, opus 27 #2, piano solo comes on. She starts to dance and starts to lose herself in the music. As she trips over a shoe on the ground, her ankle gives out and she falls. She hits the ground with her fists in frustration and yells out, "Golly gee wilikers!"
Upset that she hasn't been dancing as perfectly as she used to, she decides to leave her home to clear her head.
Bella drives into town as she is craving something to push her over the edge. She parks and walks with her head down into the DustyBowl Saloon. As she walks over to the bar, she asks the bar keep for a glass of moonshine. She sits down on a stool and as she reaches over to grab for the glass, a rough hand snatches it out of her grasp. A man with a rough beard chugs down the cool beverage.
"Excuse me, that was mine," Bella said.
"So," said the man.
"But that was mine," Bella said.
"I know, you said that," said the man.
"But..." said Bella.
"If you don't have anything intelligent to say, shut your mouth. It didn't have your name on it." The man walks away in agitation.
Bella narrows her eyes, but as she took in his appearance, her gaze became lustful. She eyed his appearance from head to toe. His tight buttocks clenched in his tight-fitting jeans. She could see the tight muscles ripple beneath his tight black wife-beater. His hair was slicked back and a bit of moonshine still glistened on his beard. He leaned against the pool table and picked up a cue.
She blushed as she realized her eyes were staring at his buttocks and looked down. Her eyes wandered to her empty hand and sighed. She asked the barkeep for another glass of moonshine. As the barkeep poured it in the glass, the man started to shoot some pool. When she glanced over, her eyes set on his bulge. Their eyes met and she quickly looked away. He noticed her glance and smirked and continued playing pool.
She quickly downed her drink and was about to walk off when she dropped her keys. She leaned down to get them when she felt the man's hand on her buttocks.
"HEY! What are you doing," cried out Bella.
"You know what I'm doin'," said the man.
"Just who do you think you are," Bella said.
"The name's Edward," said the man. "Edward Cullen."
He grinned at her and gave her a quick wink as he turned around and continued playing pool. She narrowed her eyes as she picked up her keys and was about to walk away when he poked her with his cue stick.
"Hey! Come back here. Don't leave," said Edward.
"And why should I," demanded Bella.
"Well...I usually don't do this, but I just want to let you know that your ass is fantastic. I'm sure your under garments would look great on my bedroom floor. "
Bella rolled her eyes and was about to walk off when she turned around and said "Mr. Cullen, is it?"
Edward nodded while grinning.
"Well, you can't just walk in here like you own the place, Mr. Cullen."
"You know," Edward said, "you can call me by my first name."
"I don't think so," Bella said. "You and I have nothing in common. I only address people by their first names when I am interested in what someone has to say and what from I see, I don't think that's happening."
Bella stormed off. Edward grinned, as he turned around and walked back toward the pool table. She walked over to her truck and slammed the front door.
"Who does he think he is," mumbled Bella. She shook her head and put the keys in the ignition.
She started her car and sped off to the hardware store. Edward's eyes followed her truck leaving the parking lot. With his interest peaked, he decided to find out more about the fiery vixen that stirred his loins.
Bella walked into the hardware store and greeted the owner. The owner said, "Why hello there Bella. What can I do ya for?"
Bella said, "Oh, I know what I'm looking for, Mr. Jenkinsen. I'm trying to renovate my bathroom."
"Ah," said the owner. "Aisle 6 is what you want."
"Thanks," replied Bella with a smile.
Edward was shortly behind her as Bella was walking through the aisles. As she approached aisle 6, her eyes started to search for something.
Edward leaned into Bella's ear and said in a low voice, "Lookin' for some caulk?"
Bella whipped her head around and gasped.
Edward said "I overheard you are tryin' to fix up your bathroom. I suggest starting out with the bathtub."
"Oh. Well...thank you."
"No problem," Edward said. As Bella glanced at him, she realized that Edward's smile was full of secrets.
Bella pursed her lips as she started to wonder what he looked like naked.
Edward's eyes wandered to her collarbone as he said, "I think you have something on your neck."
Bella's eyes glanced down and said, "What? What's on my neck?"
Edward replied, "my lips."
Once Edward's lips caressed her skin, goosepimples shot up her neck. Her hair stood up and so did her heartbeat. Bella realized that the tension was so thick that she succumbed to his advances as a shutter went up her spine. He grabbed her face and their lips met.
As they started to kiss passionately, he picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his torso. Her hands tangled in his unkempt hair and his hands wandered over her back.
He stumbled into the men's restroom. Their lips never left each other.
He ripped off her shirt as she undid his belt.
"Go on," she said softly. "Take me right here."
"All righty," he said.
He pulled down her pants as she unbuttoned his shirt. He removed her underwear as she bent over the sink.
An elderly man with a cane walked in as his eyes widened with surprise. He gasped and immediately hobbled out.
Bella knew that this was spontaneous and she loved every moment of it. This is exactly the kind of thrill she needed in her life—passion.
Bella yanked his pants down and started nibbling on his ear. Edward growled and held her face in his hands as he said in a raspy voice, "Mine."
As Edward positioned himself behind her, Bella let a low moan as she felt his throbbing member.
His penis was glistening with love juice as he groaned in anticipation. He grabbed her breasts roughly and said, "Well, here we go."
Bella smiled softly as she cried out, "just do it already! I can't take it anymore."
He shoved his penis inside of her vagina as they both groaned at the impact.
He growled as he continued to thrust into her. Bella's breasts were bouncing wildly that reminded him of his mother's green jello.
"You're mine. All mine," said Edward.
"Always," replied Bella.
He started kissing her neck as she breathed heavily. His thrusts got faster as she whispered, "Edward."
As her peak was about to reach, she cried out "Edward! Oh Edward! Hurry! Please hurry!"
Edward said "Yeah, yeah. I'm almost there." As Edward was about to explode, he cried out, "YAHTZEE!"
Shortly after, Bella climaxed and cried out "BURGER PUSSY!"
As Edward finished, they collapsed on the ground. They both looked at each other and smiled.
"Thank you for your fluids," Bella whispered. She closed her eyes and sighed happily.
Edward realized that he was going to like Washington. A lot.
A/N: If anyone has any ideas on where they want this story to go, be sure to PM me because anything will help. We will try to get the next chapter up for this by the end of this month, hopefully sooner.
Please, please review, even if it is just a little itty bitty blurb.
With Love,
Faded Galaxia & BroadwayNightOwl