Hello wonderful fan fiction readers! Thank you for clicking on my story! I just wanted to say that I would love any feedback you have but please keep it constructive. If you don't like the story I am not forcing you to read it.

This chapter is mostly introduction and setting the scene. I promise it will get more exciting as I get going.

Four's POV

Three years.

Three years since I had last seen her smile. Three years since I had last heard her laugh. Three years since I had last kissed her mouth. Three years since I had last held her small body in my arms. Three years filled with a constant, all-consuming, aching hole lodged in my chest. A pain that could only be temporarily distracted and dulled but never truly eradicated.

Even after three years without seeing her face I could still picture her vividly in my minds-eye; blonde hair flying as she ran or sparred, blue eyes sparkling up at me, mouth curved with laughter when she was amused but knew she shouldn't be. Every time her image came unbidden to my thoughts I would feel myself smile and a warmth fill my chest. That is, until reality came crashing down back around me. When I realized again, with the same forcefulness of the first time that I had heard, that she couldn't come back to me; that she was gone.

Exactly three years ago today I had come back from Chicago with Christina, Amar, and Peter. We had pulled into the Bureau with relief. They hadn't wiped the city and the Bureau had been. Our joy was short-lived however, we had run into Cara almost immediately after we had entered the compound. She told us that Tris, my strong, beautiful Tris, had sacrificed herself for Caleb; that she had died at David's hand. I didn't want to, couldn't, believe that Cara was speaking the truth. Not until I had seen Tris's cold, pale body lying on that table; unmoving. She had done so many so many incredible, unbelievable things and yet, her life had been ended by a cold metal cylinder buried in her warm flesh. The irony was not lost on me, after every miraculous thing she had managed to do, she had been killed by something that was so mundane.

Six months ago I had faced one of my four fears for her. I had put my body into a man-sized sling face first and zip-lined down one of the tallest buildings in Chicago; scattering her ashes behind me. I hoped that that's what she would have wanted, to always be near where she had first been accepted as a true Dauntless.

I was suddenly broken out of my reverie by a sharp rap on the door to my apartment. I knew that my friends didn't want to leave me alone today. They didn't want to let me wallow in my grief alone and lose me to a bottle in my hand as they had in the beginning. I slowly pushed myself up from the small couch and moved to go answer the door. When the door swung open it was Zeke who stood in front of me. He had forgiven me only a few weeks after Uriah's death, when they had scattered his ashes, for the role I had played. Something I was still unable to do myself. My dreams were haunted by Uriah being thrown to the ground and consumed by a fiery blast and by Tris being shot over and over again in front of my eyes. I could never do anything to save them in my dreams, I could only watch. "Can I come in man? Or am I going to stand on the doorstep all day?" Zeke said with an attempt at humor. I silently opened the door wider and stepped aside, allowing him into my apartment. There was a smile plastered on Zeke's face but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "I'm going with the group to clear out the base we found on that surveillance trip a couple weeks ago." With the formation of Chicago as a free and open city, there had been those who were opposed to it, mostly people from the Fringe and the remnants of the Bureau. They had formed a rebel organization and it fell to the police force of Chicago to make sure that they didn't cause harm to any of the city's citizens.

"How far away is it?" I tried to act interested, as my job as Johanna Reyes' assistant dictated I should. I could tell Zeke didn't buy it for a second but he answered me anyway.

"It's about ten miles beyond where the Bureau used to be." He paused for a moment. "Are you sure you don't want to come? You know they'll let on the force without a second thought." I shook my head.

"I'm done with guns and violence Zeke. I don't want that kind of life anymore. Not after what it's cost me." The last part I whispered, almost inaudibly, but I knew from the look of pity on Zeke's face that he had heard. The silence between us stretched awkwardly for a moment before I said, "Stay safe. I... I don't want to lose you too." Zeke's eyes widened and his mouth opened a bit, he knew I didn't often express my emotions especially not after Tris had died.

"I will man. I'll see you when I get back." Zeke clapped his hand on my shoulder and then abruptly turned around and walked out the door. I slowly sank back on the couch and put my head in my hands. I uttered a silent prayer to anyone that might be listening. Please let him stay safe. I don't think I could handle it if I lost someone else I care for.

P.S. If anyone can tell me what the title means then you will get some imaginary Dauntless cake. :)