Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Nothing. The only person who owns land is my friend "Lord" James. :p

Why Canada is Awesome

The War of 1812

Known as America's 2nd War for Independence against Britain. Most Americans have heard of it, but hardly any know the details. First off, it involved the Indians and Canada. How did Canada get involved? Well, when the Americans were being jerks to the Indians and seizing their property, the Indians came to Canada.

"Canada, your brother is out of control! He's taking our land and being a jerk." Canada liked the Indians and the British were seeking aid too. So Canada agreed. When the leader got back to his town and found it burned, he went to Canada. Canada was not pleased.

"Bro, you've crossed the line!" Canada took action. You know what he did? Yeah, that's right. Canada set fire to the White House. THE WHITE HOUSE. Canada BURNED it to the ground, just like the village. This should have been the first clue. When you mess with Canada, shit goes down.

Vikings and Portugal

Forget the Europeans, Canada was first settled by the vikings! The Icelandic Sagas? Yeah, he's in there. He is the unofficial member of the Nordics, and everyone knows the Nordics are awesome. Newfoundland was originally Vinland. He has the blood of the VIKINGS!

The reason the vikings left? They couldn't handle the amazingness that is Canada. Before he was colonized Canada was a BAMF. If you can't stand the heat, get GTFO of the kitchen. If Canada was too much for the VIKINGS, imagine what he is like now. HOLY SHIT!

After the vikings, Portuguese settlers were the next to come. They set up fishing ports for Canada. You want some fish? Canada has fish, in fact, he has a freaking fish INDUSTRY now! America hasn't even been discovered yet and Canada is already booming.

French Roots

While England took in Canada's bro America, France raised Canada. He has the awesome of the Nordics and the class of France. While France may be perverted, he is known as the country of romance for a reason! Not only can Canada speak Icelandic, Portuguese, and French, but he can also charm any woman he damn well pleases. He has all the charm and grace of France with none of the perverted tendencies. He is one classy man.

LADIES CONTROL YOURSELVES! This nation may seem perfect now, but it there is still more to come.

English Rule and America

After the 7 years War, England ruled over most of Canada. Guess where he didn't rule? Newfoundland, or VINLAND! You cannot tame the wild beast that is Vinland. England can't control Canada's Nordic blood. England couldn't take the heat! At this point in history, wars were going on every five minutes. Did Canada feel bothered? Not at all. He kicked back and enjoyed the show. Like a BOSS. Canada don't care about your political shit! HE is above that.

Canada now has Nordic, French, Portuguese and English roots. He can speak four languages bitches, and three of them are Romance languages! The ladies can't stay away from this sexy beast. He isn't even independent yet! You need some troops for your war? Go to CANADA! When Canada does fight in a war, he does not fight, he wins!

Like a good brother, Canada looked after little America. During the American Revolution, he gave his support. But when America tried to take his land? Well, the war of 1812 happened for a reason. "You be taking my land? NOT IN MY HOUSE!" Canada you BAMF, America never knew what hit him.

WWI and Women's Rights

France came to the almighty Canada for help in WWI. Canada, like the awesome nation he is, sent over his troops and supplies. OMFG, you are a saint, Canada. A SAINT!

Women's Rights? Good luck! Unless you live in Canada. Canada knows how to treat his women. When the women get rights, the women will do anything for their country. Canada has the love of ALL his people! Not only that, immigrants from Ukraine flocked to Canada. Ukraine couldn't stay away for long! Canada takes Ukraine under his wing. Russia's big sister is tight with Canada. He has Russia's approval. You say he is Russia's chair? Canada is the only one who can absorb the power that is Russia and live. Need I bring up Busby's chair? Canada is still alive and kicking!

Independence and WWII

After WWI, Canada tells England to back off. He becomes independent, no war necessary! England knows his place. He isn't about to challenge the great Canada!

When WWII started, Canada declared war on Nazi Germany. He saw what was happening, and he didn't approve. He went to war on their asses. Canada was a major asset, he had the Royal Canadian Air Force! When the German's attacked the Atlantic coast? Canada came to the rescue! No one is getting past his army! Step aside noobs, Canada takes control of defense, AND DOES IT RIGHT!

Canada can't fight? If you still believe that, we have one word for you: NORMANDY.

Everything else

Canada's amazingness cannot even begin to be described. This has only scratched the surface. Everything else that is Canada's amazingness goes here. You like animals? Canada has a shit-load of animals. Moose, bears, geese, beavers, you want it, Canada has it!

You want some yaoi? Hungary, get out your camera, cause in Canada you can marry whomever you damn well please. Canada dosen't discriminate! He was raised by the Country of Romance! He has women AND men falling for him! You can't ignore his girth!

You want to have a good time? Canada has it covered. Eat his amazing brownies and you'll be higher than the clouds. He has mary jane, and he knows how to use it!

Canadian police? You must be thinking of the Mounties. You wish you could be so fabulous in a stunning red jacket riding a majestic steed. Poland can tell you. "Canada is like totes fabulous!" You wish your coppers looked this fabulous.

Are your pancakes dry? Not a problem in CANADA. He has all your maple syrup needs covered! Canada has MAPLE TREES!

Do you like sports? Canada has hockey! Football doesn't have anything on hockey, hockey is a REAL contact sport. Watch your favorite teams crush each other in a brawl on ice.

Canada is the 2nd largest nation. Interoperate that however you want. Bow down to the amazingness that is CANADA!

A/N: First Hetalia fic! ^w^ This was so much fun to write. The idea slapped me across the face with a loaf of bread last night. It hit me hard. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it! Ciao for now!

Manga-neko signing out! :3