No Air

By: KKuzzz

Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly or any of the characters

It's starting to rain. Imagine that huh? It's raining in Seattle. I should really consider finding a place to wait it out. I don't think I'm gonna go home tonight. Mom's stupid boyfriend is there and we don't get along too well. In fact, we don't get along at all. Last night when I came home he was there, drunk like usual, and we ended up in an argument. The big problem with Ben is that he's a big guy. And big guys tend to think it's okay to get rough with smaller people. Ben's no exception. He tossed me around a bit before I was able to get up and run. And so I've been out just walking since.

Normally I would've just gone to Carly's and stayed with her and Spencer, but we got into a fight a week ago so we're not speaking. I'm actually kind of impressed with Carly. I figured she'd crack and call me within a day or two but she's really held out. I wish she would've cracked though. I miss her more and more every day. She's the only person that's ever really cared about me and obviously I'm pretty much next to nothing without her.

The rain's really coming down now. My baggy shorts are soaked completely through but the windbreaker I'm wearing is keeping my top half warm and dry. There's a park on this block, I think I'll go sit there for a while. I'm kind of tired of walking. As I approach the small play area, I notice a girl sitting on one of the benches, leaning forward on her knees. I'm completely prepared to make fun of this chick for sitting alone in the rain until I realize who it is.

Carly. I quicken my pace and stop to stand in front of her. When she shows no sign of acknowledgement of my presence I kneel down so that I am eye level with her. Now that I'm closer I can hear the wheezes coming from her body.

"Carly?" I ask, bringing her attention to me.

"Sam?" she wheezes out, bringing her eyes to meet mine.

"You alright?" I shake my head at the absurdity of the question as I take in her appearance. Her clothes are completely soaked and the rain has caked her hair to her head. Her body is trembling, partially from the cold, partially from the enormous effort she's putting in to breathing. "What's going on?" I ask, feeling better with this question.

"Asthma…attack….need….inhaler," she struggles to explain.

I nod in understanding and quickly shrug off my windbreaker and drape it over her shoulders. "We're only like two blocks from your apartment. Do you think that you could walk if I help?"

"Slow," she sighs.

"Okay. Okay. I can do slow," I tell her, rising to my feet. I grab her limp arm and pull it up over my shoulder. "Alright Cupcake, let's go."

I pull her to her feet beside me and begin taking baby steps towards her apartment. She's practically dead weight hanging off my body. With every step her hip bangs against me, sending waves of pain rippling through the bruises Ben so graciously left there last night. But I don't complain because Carly is practically suffocation beside me.

Time seems to be stopped as we make our trip at a snail's pace. With only a block left to go, Carly's breathing gets even worse. So I stop us and kneel in front of her, letting her lean against my back. I then hoist her up, locking her legs through my arms and letting her arms drape over my shoulders. Standing up on shaky legs, I begin running as fast as I can towards Bushwell. Her head bounces limply on my shoulder with every step that pounds the concrete. Finally, the glow of the lobby welcomes me in and I head straight for the stairs, taking them three at a time and ignoring Lewbert's ridiculous yelling about getting his stupid floor wet.

Spencer isn't home but of course the front door is unlocked so I push straight through it and head to Carly's room. I lay her down on her bed and run to her dresser where Spencer keep her inhaler. I shake it like I had been taught as I walk back to where Carly lay. I quickly used her pillows to prop her up into a sitting position and bring the inhaler to her lips.

"Ready?" I ask and wait for her to nod. "Okay Cupcake, deep breath," I tell her as I press down on the silver container, sending the medicine into her body.

After holding it briefly, she let out a couple of shaky breaths. Once she had her composure back, I send another puff into her lungs and she's able to hold this one a little longer.

When Spencer taught me how to use Carly's inhaler, he told me to only give it two times, so I set the inhaler on her nightstand and head back over to her dresser. I pull out a fresh t-shirt, a pair of sweatpants, and some fresh socks. I then work to remove Carly's soaked clothing, which is much easier said than done. I struggle for 10 minutes to peel away the soggy article and replace them with dry ones. When I finally have the fresh clothes on her body, I wrap her in a blanket and bring a glass of water to her bedside. I see that her breathing has gotten a lot more steady and most of the color has returned to her face, so I take a sigh of relief.

Now that my adrenaline is wearing off, I'm more aware of my own wet clothes clinging to my body and the chill that is setting into my bones. So I go back to Carly's dresser and open up the drawer she set up for me. The great thing about Carly is that because I stay with her so often, she bought a bunch of clothes for me and stuck them in one of her drawers. So I pull out a pair of basketball shorts, a beater, and a fresh set of underclothes and went towards the bathroom.

"Carly I'm jumping in the shower quick, okay? I'll be right back out," I tell her before pulling the door shut behind me.

Finally allowing my body to slow down, I take my time shedding my wet clothes. Once they're off, I crank the shower on and step under the steady stream.

The water is hot, almost too hot, but I like it. With Carly's lavender soap, I wash away the dirt from the day and rinse out the cuts left by Ben's heavy hands. When I feel good and clean, I shut off the water and grab a towel from the cupboard. Sometimes I marvel at how neat and tidy Carly keeps things. I could never do it. After I get my clothes on, I run a brush once through my hair before leaving the bathroom.

Carly hasn't moved at all, at least not that I can tell. She looks like she's recovered from her attack though.

"You feeling better Cupcake?" I ask, as I pick up her wet clothes from the floor and toss them into the bathroom.

"Much," she says nodding. "Thank you."

"No problem," I shrug.

"No, seriously Sam, if you hadn't come along, I don't think I would've made it."

Great, she's gonna get all serious and weepy on me nbow.

"It was just a lucky coincidence," I say, expecting more of an argument from her. But to my surprise, she just drops her eyes to the blanket covering her legs.

The silence between us makes me feel awkward so I move to turn the stereo on. While I'm flipping through cds, I hear Carly gasp behind me.

"Sam! What happened to your back?"

My eyes slide shut as I realize my cuts and bruises must be peeking out from under the straps of my beater.

"Oh you know, just the usual. Got into a scrape with some stupid nub last night." The lie tumbles out of my mouth before I even have a chance to think. It sounds plausible enough so I continue with the cds.

"You're lying." It's not a question, it's a statement. Shit. Carly always knows when I'm lying. Maybe I can play it off still.

"Am not!" I exclaim, spinning around, cd in hand. "Seriously, look," I show her my scraped and bruised knuckles as some sort of ridiculous form of proof.

"That means nothing and you know it. Tell me the truth Sam. Was it Ben again?" she asks quietly, like the words might damage me.

How the hell does she do that? The girl practically sees right through me.

"Yeah," I finally answer, crumbling under the patent Carly gaze.

I pull myself onto her bed and gently curly up beside her. Soon, I feel her finger intertwine in my own. It feels so natural. So right.

"You know," she starts, pulling my attention away from our clasped hands, "I realized something today."

What's that Carls?" I ask quietly, afraid that anything much more than a whisper will break the calmness of the room.

"You're my air."

The statement sounds so weird that I don't really know how to respond.

"Huh?" wow Puckett, great brainwork.

"You are as essential to my life as breathing. Just the thought of not having you in my life sends me into a sort of panic that I can't even begin to explain. Even getting into stupid arguments with you hurts my heart beyond words. Not seeing you or even talking to you for an entire week had me going crazy. So I took a walk. But going past the park I was hit by the thought that you may never speak to me again. Suddenly I found myself unable to breath. It felt like someone had punched me in the stomach and I couldn't get any air into my lungs. Then you came along," she had to pause for a quiet sniffle and to wipe a stray tear trailing down her cheek," and you saved my life, breathing air back into my body."

I just sit, staring at her, not knowing how to respond to such powerful words.

"And it kills me that I can't do the same for you. I can't protect you from your mom's awful words or from Ben's abusive hands. It breaks my heart every time you come over with new wounds. I just wish I could do for you what you do for me every day of my life."

I am taken aback by her words. Tears well in my eyes because she doesn't understand.

"Carly don't you get it?" I ask, letting my tears freely fall down my cheeks. "You've been breathing air into me for as long as I've known you. You give me reason to live. You're the reason I get out of bed everyday. You're the smile on my lips, the color in my cheeks, and the warmth in my heart. But most importantly, you're the life in my soul.

"Sam," she says, obviously shocked by what I had just said.

"You're my best friend Carly. I love you. And I'm never gonna leave you."

She wraps her arms around me and squeezes tight.

"I'm never leaving you either Sam. I love you."