Breaking the Zodiac

(July 2015)

1: Fireworks and Doubts

From the Journals of Dipper Pines: Saturday, July 4: In a couple of minutes I'd have to write Sunday, July 5! It's been a long day. Stressful, too, after our pep-talk and meeting with Ford at Ballet Flats. For that day and the next I felt high on the energy I'd sensed, confident that we could do anything.

But waiting—it's always the worst. The more we have to wait, the less confident I feel. Of course, I can't hide that from Wendy. She keeps trying to cheer me up and give me support.

And that's what bothers me.

Anyway, we had the usual Independence Day barbecue and games at the Shack. Since last year Wendy and I kind of came under Manly Dan's eye after we won an event, we didn't partner up this year. Mabel and Teek came in second in the three-legged race, though, and Wendy won the greased-pole climbing contest, racking up a record time.

Later, out at the lake, we all went out on Soos's boat—and when the fireworks started, Wendy and I shared our traditional kiss, after making sure that Manly Dan and the boys were off in their rowboat, far enough away so we could slip over to the opposite side of the boat, out of their sight.

Nobody on Soos's boat minded, least of all Mabel, who was lip-locked with Teek.

Later, as people were driving home, Wendy asked, "Want to talk about it, man?"

"Not yet," I told her. "Mainly, I'm just worried."

And that was true, as far as it went. Tomorrow or Monday I've got talk to Ford. If someone really is trying to take us all down, we need a plan.

In a situation like this, we always need a plan.

Since Monday was an off day at the Shack—not that many tourists came by, and they usually were closed for the day, though the museum and Mystery Tours would open if enough people showed up—Dipper biked over to the McGucket mansion after his and Wendy's daily run.

To his surprise, a police cruiser had parked in the circular drive. Dipper went up and knocked on the door, and the animated Queen Anne chair admitted him. "Where's Grunkle Ford?" Dipper asked it.

"Dr. Pines is in conference in the library now," Chair Man Miaow told him. "Would you care to have refreshments while waiting?"

"No, thanks," Dipper said, heading for the library.

He heard the mutter of voices in the hallway and paused outside the library door, which had been left ajar. He heard Blubs's voice: "Now, now, Professor, I'm not accusing you of anything, I'm just saying—"

"First of all," Ford's calm voice responded, "I'm not a professor. I don't hold an academic appointment of any kind. I do have a good many doctoral degrees, though, so if you wanted to call me 'Doctor,' that would be proper. However, can't we just be 'Stanford' and 'Sheriff'? We've known each other long enough!"

"Yeah," came Durland's high-pitched, countryfied voice, "but we want to keep this here convocation on what you'd call a professional level."

"Consultation," Blubs corrected.

"Yeah, on a consultation level."

Ford again: "I know what you meant, Deputy. Sheriff, honestly, the Pines family isn't to blame for any of this."

"All we know," Blubs said, "is before you showed up, things in Gravity Falls had settled down to being real peaceful. We weren't getting reports of ghosts and monsters half as much as they're coming in these days. People are starting to talk."

"There are reasons for that," Stanford said, "that have nothing to do with us. I've told you about the Society of the Blind Eye. They suppressed the truth about the weirdness of Gravity Falls. That weirdness occurred daily, but no one reported it because no one remembered it."

"But," Durland said, "if it was out of sight, we were out of our minds, see?"

"In your case, yes," Stanford agreed. "It's better and healthier, though, to confront the oddities of life than to ignore them. Take the Gnomes—"

"Never used to get reports of them ransacking people's private garbage!" Blubs said.

"No, and you don't now, either," Stanford said. "The civilized ones have become productive citizens, disposing of garbage in a sanitary way, providing efficient and cheap pest control—"

"They's taking our jobs!" Durland shot back.

"Deputy," Stanford said, sounding tired, "they're taking jobs nobody else wants, eating rats and garbage! And they're law-abiding now that they understand us! They haven't stolen so much as a pie in over two years! And back when they did steal, it was always food and it was always because they were starving."

"Appetite is no excuse for breaking the law," Durland said.

"Now, now, now," Blubs cut in. "Professor, we just came to give you some friendly advice. Let's cool it with these mysteries and spooks and goblins and things. Tell your brother to have Mr. Ramirez make it clear that the Mystery Shack is just pretend and showmanship."

"That reminds me," Durland said to Blubs, "you and me is gonna take a cruise on a showmanship! Toot-toot!"

Blubs chuckled. "You sure love your shuffleboard!"

"Gentlemen," Ford said, "I'll bear what you say in mind. But in turn, please remember that the creatures and the strangeness of Gravity Falls have existed here since before even the Native Americans discovered the valley. I have good reason to think it's been this way for millions of years."

"Well, then it's time for a change," Durland said. "Can I see the cruise tickets again?"

"They're in the car," Blubs said indulgently. "But we don't leave for another two weeks."

"I can't wait!"

"You remember our talk," Blubs said to Ford. Dipper waited as the sheriff and deputy left. If they noticed him, they didn't speak to him—unusual.

Then Dipper looked in. Ford was at a library table, elbows on desk, head in hands. "Grunkle Ford?"

His great-uncle looked up, wearily. "Mason. Come in, have a seat. It's good to see you after my visitors."

"I kinda heard," Dipper said. "What was all that about?" He slipped into the chair opposite Ford.

"I suspect," Ford said darkly, "it's a probe from the enemy. Someone's been stirring up gossip and doubt about the Pines family—suggesting that it's our fault the town's such a hotbed of paranormal happenings."

"That's crazy," Dipper said.

"Oh, I agree, it's paranoid. It's an effort to cut us off from any community support, I think. However, it's a classic case of scapegoating. If you can find one person or group to blame for all your problems, it's like a magic charm—boot that person or that group out, and all your troubles are over. Except, of course, they aren't." Ford straightened up and sighed.

"Three years ago," Dipper complained, "we were the heroes of the town! They wiped out Grunkle Stan's criminal record! The whole town threw Mabel and me a huge birthday party. Everybody cried when we climbed on the bus and left."

"The mob mentality," Ford said in a heavy voice, "boils down to 'what have you done for me lately?' People are too quick to forget, especially if someone's fomenting doubt and discord. But this is neither here nor there. You said on the phone that you had a serious question."

"Yeah," Dipper admitted. "Only now—I'm not so sure I should add to your trouble."

"It's no trouble," Ford said with a smile, "if it's family. What's your problem, Mason?"

"Teek joined the Zodiac," Dipper said slowly.

"Yes, because Robbie's attitude and outlook have changed. It wasn't an accident that Robbie gave that emblematic jacket to Mr. O'Grady. Some things fall out by destiny." Ford got up and closed the door, then returned to his seat. "Are you concerned about your sister and Teek?" he asked quietly.

"No!" Dipper replied, surprised. "Nothing like that! But I—I've been lying awake and wondering—do you—this is hard." He took a deep breath. "Do you think I should step off the Zodiac? Find someone else to wear the pine tree?"

Ford's face mapped his astonishment. "What? Absolutely not! What brought such an idea into your mind?"

Dipper huddled in his chair. "I—I've been thinking back. Re-reading my Journals. So many times, I've been the weakest link. I—I find these mysteries, and I try to solve them, but I do the wrong thing, or I make bad mistakes and somebody else has to come and bail me out. You couldn't do without Wendy, but if I screwed up and Wendy got hurt, or worse—it would kill me. If someone else can do the job better—"

"Mason. Mason. Calm down, now. Why don't you and I go for a walk?"

To be accurate, first they went for a drive, up a winding road and out into the countryside. On the west side of the valley, a tall, rounded hill overlooked the town. Dipper and Ford knew that buried beneath the hill lay an extraterrestrial craft—perhaps the source of the weird vibe of Gravity Falls, or perhaps an ill-fated alien expedition that had come to explore that strangeness.

"Are we going into the ship?" Dipper asked nervously.

"Not today." Ford sat on the boulder that concealed the hatch leading down into the crashed saucer. "Come and sit beside me. Look at the valley."

The day was mostly clear, with a few scudding white clouds in the blue sky. Atop the hill, Dipper felt the cool breeze, and he could see it rippling the grass. In front of them and below them lay the town of Gravity Falls. Past it were the undercut cliffs—the gap between them shaped like a flying saucer—and he could see both the highway and the river leaving the valley and flowing out into the wider world. It all looked peaceful, the distant houses, the sea of trees, the shadows of the clouds floating and flowing over everything.

After a few minutes of silence, Ford spoke: "When Bill Cipher attempted to conquer our planet, he found that he and his minions couldn't go beyond the confines of the valley. A weirdness bubble contained them. Have you ever considered that?"

"Well, sure," Dipper said. "It saved everybody else in the world from Weirdmageddon."

"True," Ford said. "And it also sealed inside with Bill the only people on Earth who could defeat him and his alien army. The members of the Zodiac. The people of the town who refused to surrender and who stood against an all-powerful demon. The paranormal beings and creatures of the valley. And most of all, the Pines family. You, Mabel, me, and most especially my brother."

"But Mabel and I failed," Dipper said. "Even together, we couldn't beat him that time. He nearly killed Mabel!"

"Did you fail?" Ford asked. "Think, Mason. When Bill's bizarre maniacs had taken the rest of the survivors prisoner outside the Fearamid, when he had transformed the rest of the Zodiac into those infernal banners, when the only ones left to confront him were the Pines family—you and Mabel took him on together. That was an extraordinary act of courage. Remember how you two led him away from us and let Stanley come up with the plan that finally saved our reality? Saved our lives? Saved our world?"

Dipper squirmed. "Yeah, but—he caught us."

"But you risked that and bought us time!" Stanford insisted. "Don't you see? It took all of us—the town, the paranormal beings, the Zodiac crew, and the Pines family. Each one of us had a place to fill. Including you."

"But if I screw up—"

"Mason, I have faith in you. Don't dwell on the mistakes you've made. Learn from them. Every scientist makes mistakes. Without error, there's no progress! And I can't count even on the fingers of both hands how many successes you've had!" Ford winked. "That means more than twelve, you know."

Dipper had to laugh. Not a hearty laugh, but still.

"Nobody could replace you, Dipper," Ford said, using his nephew's nickname. "Pine Tree and Shooting Star and Sixer and—whatever that weird fish-looking thing of Stan's is, I've never known for sure. We four are the anchors of the Zodiac. I don't think any of us could give up our place. Somehow, that's destiny, too. It's ours. We can't walk away."

"If only I could make sure that Wendy was safe," Dipper said.

"You'll look out for her. So will the rest of us. And we've all got your backside."

Dipper had to grin. "Uh, got my back." When you battle a hundred Gnomes side-by-side with someone, you realize they've probably always got your back. God, that seemed like so long ago! The grin faded, and Dipper added, "I still can't help worrying."

Stan nodded. "No, of course not. That's natural and nothing to be ashamed of. I worry, too. What if I die fighting this thing? After so many years of struggle and loneliness, at long last I've found the love of my life. What would happen to Lorena? But we can't allow worry to consume us, Mason. Like Stan, we do the job that lies in front of us. It's hard, it isn't fair, but there it is. We didn't ask for this thing, for this evil, but it's come to the Falls, and we have to face it."

Dipper nodded. "I'll try."

He felt his uncle's warm hand on his shoulder. "That's all anyone can ask."

Dipper took a deep breath. "Well—when I haven't been beating myself up because I'm the weakest link, I've been wondering—there are a lot of newcomers in the Valley this year."

"I know. Ulva, the werewolf girl—not new in the Valley, but new as a full-time human. Traci, the young lady who's come to work in the Shack. The young man, I forget his name, that Pacifica is dating. I've identified a dozen others."

"Stranger danger," Dipper said. "Like Bill told us. Do you suppose one of them, or maybe more than one, might be spreading lies about us?"

"I've wondered," Ford replied. "In fact, tracing the rumors and innuendoes might lead us to our enemy."

Dipper stood up. "I don't like it. I still don't trust myself. But there it is. All right, Grunkle Ford—let's get started."