We used to call us Brittana.
What do I do now? What do I do now? I have no one. What do I tell people? What do I tell my friends? Do I even have friends anymore? Where do I go from this point on? Help.
I had just told my brother that I think I might be gay (even though I'm positive that I am 100 % gay) his brown eyes just stared in to mine and I waited for him to react. After a minute of silence he just got up of the edge of my queen sized bed and walked out of my room and closed the door behind him. I just curled in to a boll in the middle of my bed and cried. I really really thought he would understand. After a hour or so I heard a knock on my bedroom door, I sat up in a split second making me feel a bit dizzy in my head, I quickly whipped my tears away not wanting Daniel to see me weak.
"come in" I said as strongly as I could. But the man how opened the door wasn't my older brother. It was my mom and dad.
"Santana" my mom said carefully looking at me, when she saw my red eyes she took my dad's arm with hers and whispered something I couldn't make out. But whatever it was it didn't seem to affect my dad's stern face. Then I saw Daniel's face appear behind my mom and dad looking at my with a 'I'm sorry' look. I frowned my eyebrows when I understood what he had done. He had told our parents. How could he? I thought. Then I looked at my dad, he saw that I had figure it out. The anger in his eyes made me want to go hide in the closet. Literally.
"Dad?" I said almost too shaky to make out.
"Don't! How can you do this to us Santana?... How can you drag this disgusting sin to our family?!" his words hit my like a truck and I could feel my cheeks getting wet from the tears falling from my eyes again.
"Papi I'm sorr!{father}" I cried out half screaming.
" I SAID DON'T, SANTANA!" he said while he fast walked over to the edge of my bad where I was sitting grabbing me by my arms pulling my up forcing me to look him in the eye. But I couldn't.
"look at me!" he screamed. I just looked away closing my eyes and tried to stop crying.
"Santana!" he screamed one more time and tightening his grip around my arms and pulling my closer to him.
I slowly turned my head to face the man who right now seemed like the scariest person in the whole world. He looked in to my tear filled eyes for a few seconds then saying "you are not my daughter, I don't know these eyes, where did we go wrong with you? Who are you?"
"Dad stop" I cried "it's me, I'm just not 5 years old anymore, I know myself now and I can't help but to feel the way I feel. I'm so sorry!"
"Oh stop it! You are seventeen you have no idea what you feel!" He let me go and pushed me back on my bed and stood and stared at me for a few seconds before walking towards my bedroom door. He stopped himself without turning to face me when he said "you are not part of this family until you find my old innocent baby girl in that soul of sin of yours" and walked out mumbling something in Spanish.
I quickly looked at Daniel who clearly had regret in his eyes.
"Are you kicking me out!?" I screamed not believing what I've just heard. My dad just walked out without a word. "Mom!? Don't do this, please" I felt my tears falling again and now my whole body was shaking too. "I love you Santana, be safe and come home soon" she said and walk over to me to hug me. But now my sadness had turn in to anger and I pushed her arms of me, she just sighed and took one loving look at me and walked out and kissed Daniel on the cheek as she passed him. Mom never stood up for herself, she always did what dad told her to. They are such hypocrites always saying I should stand up for myself at all times.
"I can't believe this just happened" I thought out loud and starting to walk around in my big room while hyperventilating.
"I am so sorry San" when I heard Daniels voice I remembered that this was all his fault. Before Daniel could continue I ran over to him and let my hand slap him hard on the left side of his face with my right hand so it turned red. He started quietly crying, not because I hurt him, he cried because he had hurt me by telling my parents.
"San I'm sorry, porfavor{snälla}. I thought that maybe they could talk sense into you, I never thought that.." he said with a soft voice.
"wait what? Talk some sense? You mean talk me in to being straight?! Is that what you mean Daniel?! What part of me being gay didn't you understand?!" I said and then sight with anger and walked to my window to see the cold night waiting for me.
"But it's wrong Santana, I've seen you and Brittany, how you guys look at each other, but I pushed the thoughts away not wanting to believe it, it's wrong… and you know it San"
"What?..Me and Brittany is nothing Daniel" not anymore I thought and sight.
Daniels phone vibrates and he takes his phone up and read the massage
"dad says you have to leave.. and that I.. shouldn't talk to you" he said he sighed and said "Santana just say that you are confused and all of this will go away in a few days"
"But I'm not! If they want me to leave I will." I grabbed a bag and started throwing some random clothes in it not knowing where I could go. I just took my bag and walked out without looking at Daniel and my parents.
"shit" I said to myself when I saw my iPhone only had 8% battery left as I was standing on the road outside my house. Where the hell should I go it's almost eleven pm. I couldn't go to Quinn because I didn't want to tell her what had happened and why, She didn't know about me being gay (almost no one knows). The only one besides Quinn I know that lives close enough to walk from my place is Brittany. And she is my ex-girlfriend and I can't be that pathetic that I'd go to my ex's house and ask her to stay the night. Or can I?
12 am. I'm standing outside Brittany's house in front of her window I picked up a small stone and threw it on the window, the lights when on and a tired Brittany looked out. Her window was on the bottom floor and under it stood a wooden box with toys in it. Me and Brittany always used to step on it to sneak in and out of her house. Brittany blinked a few times and clearing her eyes with her palm then it was clear that she had seen me stand in the dark on her yard by the look in her face.
Shit this is awkward.
After I've climbed in Brittany's window I stood in her room looking around, her room haven't changed much since last time I has here the only thing that had change was her TV, she now had a large flat screen TV that was placed on a chest of drawers in front of her small bed in her yellow and light pink room.
"Why are you here" I heard Brittany say softly, I looked at her, she was on her way to sit on her computer chair. Wow she's really sexy, I used to love it when she just had a sloppy ponytail and a tight tanktop with hotpants.
"Santana?"
"Huh? Wh..what?" I said looking up from her body in the computer chair to her blue eyes. She sighs and crossed her arms and legs to hide her bare body "well I was just wondering why you are in my room in the middle of the night causing me to wake up" she said a bit harshly and looked at me.
I don't blame her.
"Honestly… I don't know all I know is that my dad kicked me out and now I have no idea where to go" I heard myself say looking down at my dark blue socks. "And I'm sorry, for the hole waking you up thing" I looked up to see her reaction she just looked concerned and shocked.
"I'm sorry about that Santana, but for whatever reason he kicked you out it's not fear that you came here, you know you broke my heart"
"God Brittany I know, but where was I supposed to go?" I said and walking over to her bed and putting my face in my hands and sitting on the edge knowing that I did her wrong by coming here. But Brittany is my safety place, and I'm hers…Well I used to be. "I told Daniel about me, you know about being gay and he told my parents. That's the reason…they hate me" I felt tears I my eyes and I tried to hold them back, but it was hard. "I just can't believe they kicked me out!...just like that." Oh no tears...fuck, I hate showing people that I have feelings but Brittnay already know I have feelings, I mean all of them used to be for her.
And I think they still are.
I felt her hand taking mine of my face and I looked up, I hadn't heard her when she had walk over to me, she gave me this look that said 'stand up', so I did. She just hugged me tight. I hugged back.
Wow I really missed her hugs. Brittany didn't know what to say but I didn't want her to say anything anyways, I just wanted her to hold me, I was afraid of what she might say when we let go. Maybe she'll ask me to leave, shit that would be really awkward. I just sobbed and held my blond beautiful ex-girlfriend and she held me tight until I stopped.
"You can stay over on one condition Santana" she said still hugging me but not as tight.
"And what's that Brittany?" I wanted to say her name out loud. It felt good.
"That we talk, not tonight if you're tired but tomorrow maybe?" she said carefully.
"Brittany..I ..I"
"I know, you don't like to talk, but please Santana, you owe me an explanation" she cut me off.
I know she is right. I had just dumped her 6 months ago when I started a new school because I got band from McKinley high school after drunkenly singing a song about a nasty ass girl from my English class in front of the whole school and parents in the auditorium.
"Okay...we'll take it tomorrow" I knew in the back of my head I had no intentions of taking it tomorrow. She pulled away from the hug and whipped her hand over my wet cheeks. she was not smiling but not looking angry either.
I wonder what she's thinking.
"Okey good." She said.
She laid down on her side of her bed under the covers with her back against the middle of the bed, I mimicked her and laid down facing the other way but over the covers and closed my eyes.
"You can get under the covers if you want to… just …just don't take of your clothes" she said. I can't see her face I wonder if she has a smirk on her face, I do, it kind of made me happy to know she wouldn't be able to stand it if I was just in my underwear. Wow I'm such a horrible person, I thought as I crawled in under the cover that smelled so so good. It smelled exactly like it used to do. Exactly like Britt-britt.
Panic ! fuck I fell asleep my plan to sneak out when Brittany was sleeping had obviously not worked. I carefully turn to see if Brittany is still in bed and maybe still sleeping, but she's not.
Damn.
I should just jump out the window right now. Yeah that's what I should do, if I don't I'll have to face Brittany and tell her about the hole break-up that broke the blonds heart, and also I'm afraid that she's heard about Jenny Holiday. That is something Brittany should never find out about.
Thanks so much for reading. What will Santana do!? Let me know what you think! Next chapter we will meet Jenny Holliday! I'm am already halfway done with ch2 (I do not own the characters they are from glee.) – .COM-