Disclaimer: I will never own anything as cool as the Mentalist.
A/N: So this is my entry to the August challenge over on the jello-forever forum. I hope everyone enjoys it. The challenge was Mistakes and I hope I did it justice. I put a bit of a twist on it...kind of.:)
There was a time when Teresa Lisbon would have said the biggest mistake she ever made was getting involved with Patrick Jane. At the time she believed it to be true. Their relationship was doomed from the second it had begun. It wasn't even supposed to happen, it was a mishap, a lapse in judgement and it had led to so much more. She had believed that maybe she could change his mind about vengeance but she hadn't even considered the possibility of falling in love with him. The second mistake.
There were so many she had lost count and now two years later, she found her heart still aching for him. They had found themselves at a crossroads six months into their relationship while standing out in the pouring rain. Everything had blown up in their faces, shattering all hope of ever becoming something serious. She still remembered the words she had said, the ones she wished she could take back to this very day. He had been so hurt and more than just a little confused. When he walked away without a word, she expected him to come back or to see him at work the next day, except he never did come back. She didn't see him at work and every day that passed without him made her feel extremely guilty.
The only good that came from their emotional escapades was the little boy she called Gabriel. She had tried contacting Jane to tell him that she was pregnant but she had no idea where he had went or why he wouldn't ever answer his phone. She had wanted him to know he had a son, she would never even dream of keeping something like that a secret. After raising the beautiful baby boy for just a little over a year, she'd realized that getting involved with Jane couldn't have been a mistake. He had given her the most precious gift so no it wasn't the biggest mistake. That title belonged to letting him walk away without stopping him. She should've ran after him, apologized for everything and hoped he forgave her. It shouldn't have been such a big deal to admit to being wrong and tell him that she was sorry but it had been at the time. Her selfish pride had gotten in the way and it had cost her everything.
A note had been delivered to her office a few months after he had disappeared. No return address, but the second she saw it, she knew it was from him. The only words on it were 'I miss you, see you soon.' She'd cried that day, gently rubbing her stomach and wishing he would've at least given her a way to contact him. His written words had brought back all the good times they had, all the playful arguments and stolen kisses. It had been something she shouldn't have taken for granted but she did anyway. Lisbon had been so afraid that he'd hurt her that she had been slowly sabotaging the relationship from the beginning without even realizing it. She just knew that he'd choose Red John over her if it came down to it but now that she had thought about it for two years, she came to the conclusion that she had been wrong.
Lisbon stared into her baby's green-blue eyes and lightly tickled his tummy just to see his smile. The one identical to his father's. He had his eyes, his smile, his ears, there was no denying who Gabriel's father was. The only give away that she was his mother was the dark curls that covered his head and his nose. Honestly she loved being able to see Jane whenever she looked at her son.
A knock at the door interrupted their late night play time. It might have been selfish of her but she enjoyed letting him sleep late during his daily naps so she could keep him up at night just to spend time with him.
"Stay right here Gabe. Mommy has to see who's at the door." She left him playing in front of the couch while she made her way towards the wooden panel separating them and whoever was knocking. She didn't bother checking the peephole and when she pulled it open her heart skipped a few beats. "Jane."
A million and five questions popped into her head all at once and she didn't know whether to be happy he was right in front of her or to be angry that he'd been gone so long. Thinking of the little boy she'd left on the blanket in the floor, she chose the second.
"What the hell are you doing here?" He looked older, more tired and worn out. His clothes were rumpled, hair mussed and his face was set in a frown while his gaze remained aimed at the floor.
"I don't know." It was an honest answer said with a broken voice and before she could stop herself she was already letting go of the anger and letting it be replaced with longing to touch him after all this time. "I just thought..."
"Where were you?"
"I knew that what you told me that night was true. I had to put the past in the past so I could move on with you." Even after being left alone bawling her eyes out in the rain while he ran off for two years, she found her heart fluttering at his words.
"It's been two years Jane. All I got from you was a note. You're a little late." She was trying to sound bitter but it came out more fragile than anything. Damn her stupid emotions for still being so caught up on Patrick Jane.
"I've made mistakes Teresa. Leaving was one of them and I don't expect you to take me back with open arms." His eyes finally met hers and she felt her breath hitch in her throat at the intensity she could see. They were full of regret and she wanted to take him in her arms and never let go, but she couldn't do it.
"Then why did you come here?" Lisbon knew there was something he wasn't telling her, but she couldn't figure out exactly what it was. There was no way he'd just show up after two years to borrow her couch. Despite the fact that she wanted so badly to be mad at him, all she could feel was relief that he was alive.
"I'm sorry. I'll leave, hopefully I'll see you around. I already talked to Minelli about coming back to work."
As he turned to go, Lisbon sucked in a sharp breath and closed her eyes to try and gather her racing thoughts. All of her questions couldn't be answered in just one night but there was something she had to tell him before he left again. She reached out and gently grabbed his hand to stop him from walking away.
"Patrick wait, there's something I need to tell you." She was suddenly very aware of the fact that Jane couldn't have seen Gabriel because of the couch and that his skin was still just as warm as she remembered. "You have a son."
Jane's expression changed to one of shock and confusion as he studied her face. She offered him a shy smile and pulled him inside while closing the door. Letting go of his hand she walked around the large couch and stooped down to pick up the little boy playing with his favorite firetruck. As soon as she straightened back up, Jane's eyes caught on the child in her arms. She came closer, standing only about a foot away from him and smiling as the little one buried his face into her neck.
"I..I have a son." It wasn't a question, he could tell the boy was his just by looking. It just blew his mind that they had made something so beautiful and alive; they'd made a little boy and he hadn't even been around. A small living breathing human being who was a mix of both of them. He could see himself in the little one's face but he could also see Lisbon.
"His name is Gabriel Lee Jane. I thought he should have his father's last name." Lisbon was suddenly feeling very nervous, she couldn't tell what Jane was thinking. "I tried finding you. I wanted you to know that I was pregnant but..."
"Can I hold him? Please?"
"Of course." With shaking hands he gently reached for the small boy who didn't even put up a fight or fuss when lifted out of his mother's arms. Cradling him to his chest, Jane let out a sigh. Lisbon caught the glimpse of the tear that spilled from the corner of his eye, leaving a trail down his cheek but she didn't say anything. The man was holding his baby boy for the first time; he was allowed to cry.
"He has your nose." Gabriel layed his head down on Jane's shoulder as his eyes started to slip shut. "Is he always so calm with strangers?"
"I've been showing him pictures of you since he was born, just in case you came back. I didn't want him to be afraid of you." Maneuvering his son, so he could hold him with just one arm Jane reached up to caress Lisbon's cheek affectionately.
"I'm so sorry I ever left you Teresa. I'm so sorry." More tears slid down his face and Lisbon found herself choking back sobs of her own at the sight of their son being held by his father, at the touch of his warm hand against the side of her face and at the overwhelming sensation of seeing him alive and well.
"It's not going to be easy for us Patrick. I can't promise a relationship but I can promise that I won't keep him from you. He's your son and you can see him whenever you want."
"We made so many mistakes." He pressed a kiss to the side of Gabriel's head and Lisbon knew he was right. They'd both made mistakes, big horrible, life changing ones.
"Yes, we did. Both of us. This little guy isn't one of them though, I'd say he's the best thing we ever did." She rested her hand against the little boy's back and was taken by surprise when Jane covered it with his own.
"I would like to stay, I'll take the couch and never move I swear. I just want to hold him." He was pleading and she couldn't say no to the look in his eyes. She could never deny him time with his son. Gabriel had been without his father long enough.
"You can have the guest room." He shifted the now sleeping baby around carefully so he could see his little face. Cautiously he traced one finger around his slightly chubby cheeks and down the slope of his nose. He still couldn't believe it. He had come here to apologize for running away and to tell Lisbon that he understood if she never forgave him. Instead he ended up with a son and a place to stay for a night.
"That night in the rain? My original plan was to tell you that I loved you. I still do and I'm willing to do everything I can to prove it." Jane looked up from staring at their son, making each word he spoke seem even more honest. Their gazes locked as she turned to the guest room, intending to put clean sheets on the bed.
"I have a lot of questions, after I get the answers we'll talk about what happens next." Lisbon knew he was back for a reason, and he was back for good but she still needed some reassurance. There was no way she could just pick up where they left off but she knew he didn't expect her to and that meant the world to her. It was a start.
a/n: There you go. I really like this one. Thank you Nellie for giving me the name Gabriel Lee. It's so cute. ;) ~ Rina