I felt like writing something angsty, so… here it is. This fic was sort of inspired by the song 'I Can't Be With You' by The Cranberries. 'Tis a good song. Anyway… Onwards!
Disclaimer: More stuff that I don't own.
Beast Boy had never looked happier.
Raven hated it.
The blonde earthmover had done this to him; it was she who kept him in this joyfully delirious state. Every flutter of her eyelashes, every flip of her hair, every smile, every laugh… The changeling took it all in, breathing it, living on it.
And Raven watched from the sidelines, from behind her barrier of dry wit, sarcasm, and cold stares.
Everyone seemed to be coupled together, lately, and it sickened her. Robin and Starfire had each other, as did Beast Boy and Terra. Even Cyborg had been going out with a Jump City girl for the past few months. Raven had sat through many a movie with the six, pretending not to notice that at least one couple was always making out.
She'd dared to comment on this, once… Giving Terra and Beast Boy an icy glare, she'd said, "Kindly do that elsewhere. Some of us actually want to watch the movie."
Terra had merely giggled, and replied, "Don't worry, Rae… We'll find someone for you soon."
Raven had stopped watching movies after that.
And now, she sat on the couch, attempting to block out the noise coming from the two, reading the same sentence in her book for the tenth time. Reading the same sentence in her book for the tenth time. Reading the same sentence in her book for the tenth time. A sudden crash caused Raven to spare a glance for the two. Beast Boy had grabbed Terra's wrists, and was pulling her towards him for a kiss. She laughed, playfully trying to pull away.
"Ow, you're hurting me!"
Not as much as he's hurting me.
"Sorry," the changeling chuckled, finally pulling Terra close enough to press his lips against hers. Raven's dark eyes immediately dropped back down to her book, stomach twisting oddly. She still couldn't control this new emotion she'd discovered.
"Hello, Raven," Jealousy had greeted the empath, shortly after Terra had returned.
"Who are you?" Raven had asked bluntly, staring at the black-robed emotion standing before her.
"You mean you don't know?" the emotion had teased, "I'm the green-eyed monster that lives in your mind!"
The empath snorted. "Who am I jealous of, then?" she'd asked. Though the question had been incredulous, she'd dreaded the answer.
Jealousy had leaned closer, her face inches from Raven's, a distinctive forked tongue flicking past her teeth briefly. "Why, Terra, of course!"
That realization had only made things worse. Every time Raven saw the changeling and the earthmover together, she'd cringed. Every time they sat together, laughed together, smiled, kissed, had fun together, she'd looked away in pain. And every time, she'd felt her heart break a little more.
Another giggle dragged Raven back to the present, and she gave the couple an ice-cold glare from over the top of her book. "Would it be possible for you to quiet down?" she asked, a sarcastic edge to her voice. "Not all of us need, nor want, to hear that."
"What's wrong, Rae?" the blonde girl taunted, "Feeling lonely?" Though Raven knew that Beast Boy hadn't caught it, she herself had; the underlying, gloating tone in the girl's voice. Terra had what Raven wanted, and she knew it.
"Naw, Rae's not lonely," Beast Boy laughed. "She's strong. She doesn't need anyone."
Raven winced, feeling as if she'd been slapped. No… Shot. Stabbed. Did he know nothing about her? Before Terra came… did he only pretend to care? Choking back a flood of emotions, she stood, the book falling to the floor with a thud. "Don't talk about things you know nothing about," she hissed, then stormed out of the room, feeling their gaze on her retreating back - Beast Boy's shocked, Terra's gloating.
She'd just about made it to her room when she heard footsteps behind her, then felt a hand on her shoulder, turning her to face him. Surprise, surprise… Beast Boy.
"What's up with you, Rae?" His green eyes held concern, but not the same concern he held for Terra… It was the same concern he held for his friends. Starfire. Robin. Cyborg. …Raven. "You seem really… distant, lately."
Give him a medal. The boy's a genius.
"Beast Boy, I have to be distant. I can't feel anything, or people get hurt," Raven replied, her voice sharp.
But I feel more than you realize, Garfield.
"Well, I dunno… You seem, well… lonely, almost." He glanced nervously down at the floor, as if afraid she might hurt him for even daring to say it.
Raven's eyes narrowed, her voice bitter with concealed rage and hurt. "I don't get lonely. Remember, I don't need anyone."
The changeling's eyes widened, and he stared at her in disbelief. "Oh, is that all this is about? I was only joking!"
No, that's not all this is about! Beast Boy, I'm in love with you, and you're killing me!
Raven shut her eyes, head down. She wanted to scream, cry, to tell him the truth…
"Well, if that's all, I'm gonna go back. Talk to you later, Rae." And he was gone, back to his precious Terra. Raven could hear Jealousy laughing in the back of her mind - the green-eyed monster that was tearing her apart.
The sounds of Beast Boy and Terra laughing and talking drifted up to the empath, who still stood in the hall, staring numbly at the floor.
Beast Boy had never been happier.
Raven had never felt more alone.