If I never see you again
Disclaimer: The characters and other things from The Vampire Diaries don't belong to me. Credit goes to the rightful owners.
"I'm standing in one of my favorite places in the world, surrounded by food, music art, culture, and all I can think about is how much I want to show it to you. Maybe one day you'll let me."
Caroline listened to the voicemail for the hundredth time since Klaus left Mystic Falls. Each time she heard the message, her reaction was different. There was even one time she threw the phone on the ground, wishing it would break and somehow force her to forget the message existed. But no matter what she felt about his words, it never changed the fact that he never did say where he was at that time.
Caroline wondered if he was there again and surrounded once more by the very things he wanted to show her. Was it cold there now? Or was it summer? What language did they speak there? Was he even in the same country as she was or on a different continent?
But what frustrated her most was the question she knew she shouldn't be asking, the one she wanted answered—does he still think about her?
Caroline grabbed a pillow and screamed into it. She tried to block it all out, knowing it wasn't right to miss Tyler and be angry with Klaus for not saying goodbye. But it wasn't the thing that agitated her the most. It was that she couldn't get over the fact that he still hasn't called.
There was no random voicemail, note or outrageous gift left for her. For all the interest he showed in her, it was as if she was forgotten. Out of sight out of mind-was that what they called it? Caroline sighed and smoothed out the pillow on her lap.
Loath as she was to admit it, she missed Klaus. She told herself it was the access to the best vintage clothes for miles or maybe even his accent. It was a bald-faced lie but it was easier to tell herself that than admit he was right—there is an allure to darkness, a man so terrible who cared only for you.
Caroline pulled at the loose thread, unraveling the pillowcase bit by bit. She had a thousand excuses for hating him, believing she was better off with him gone but she couldn't help feeling soon she'd run out of reasons to fill the ache that nagged at her since he left. None of it seemed to silence the small voice inside her head that she lost the one person who believed that she was meant for a bigger world than this, that she was made for greater things than a footnote in the history of a small town.
She could have just called him back. But she was a coward. She didn't want to find out if the number had been disconnected, or maybe call him and overhear just how much fun he was having. Caroline didn't want to know that he moved on. She wanted to imagine him in the middle of a fancy restaurant, all dressed up with his phone in hand, staring at her contact info while he debated if he should call her or not.
Caroline squeezed her eyes tightly and placed the pillow over her face as she fell back on the bed and screamed again. After a few seconds, she flung the pillow to the side and stared at the ceiling as her mind moved on to sorting through her memories of him. There were so few of them but they stood out in her mind, vibrant pieces of her past that played out in her head like a movie. Caroline closed her eyes and she could have sworn she heard the song they danced to at his house, his arms strong and sure as they moved as one and felt the weight of his stare, as if she was the only one in the room worthy of his attention.
Caroline wished it were simple attraction. It was something she was familiar with and could trust that in time it would fade. But her world had already shifted and her gut told her, so did his.
Klaus had changed. Caroline saw that, even if she refused to accept it at first. He was no longer the bigger threat in their world, not because Silas had come along but because Klaus now thought of consequences, put someone else's welfare above his. There was finally someone he wouldn't hurt. Someone he wanted to protect, even from himself.
Caroline traced her face with her fingers. She felt the same and yet she understood that she was not the same peppy high school cheerleader who did everything to be Miss Mystic Falls, queen of her world. Her town suddenly felt small. Too frequently did right and wrong change side that she didn't know who she could trust anymore. And what she thought she wanted in life just wasn't enough anymore.
She sat up and sighed again knowing she had to accept certain realities. First, that she wanted to know where the hell Klaus was when he sent that damn voice mail. Second, she wanted to know where he was right now. Third, she wanted to see the world-all the places he mentioned to her before and more. Lastly, she wanted him to show it to her and look at her like all the beauty in the world didn't matter unless she was with him.
Caroline stood up and picked up her phone. She frowned at first then her eyes widened when she saw the notification.
You have a voicemail.
Klaus stared at the table in front of him blankly. He didn't notice the tiny spot on the otherwise pristine white tablecloth, the still full glass of the most expensive red wine they had to offer nor woman who was eyeing the empty seat in his table for two.
He had resisted for so long yet he found himself pulling out his phone, scrolling through the contacts until he found her name. Caroline.
He didn't actually need to check her contact information, he knew her number by heart from all the times he just stared at it debating with himself if he should call or not.
After all, he did that everyday since he left Mystic Falls.
Klaus wanted to tell her he didn't say goodbye because it never was his style. He left when he had to and that was that. But if she needed to hear it, then he would say it.
He wanted to tell her that he still wasn't scouring the earth for Tyler Lockwood and that in fact, he had known he came back to Mystic Falls but let him go to play his part in her perfect night. He wanted to tell her that he left the keys to his house in her jewelry box, just in case she needed something.
He closed his eyes for a moment and knew that what he really wanted to tell her was how his life was upside down. A thousand years was not enough to prepare him for any of this. Klaus wanted her to know she was right—there's no allure to darkness and maybe he's truly beyond fixing but that he still hoped she could look past that and be in his life.
Klaus would leave it all for her, if she asked him to. For just once chance, he would forget New Orleans and all its complications. He still wanted to show her the world, see it all again with Caroline beside him.
But he knew that it couldn't happen now. He cared for her, maybe even loved her but his family was not something he could let go of and this new life that might just be his salvation. So he stayed away and longed for her in silence.
Klaus watched as a young couple from another table stood up and danced in the middle of the room, without caring that no one else was doing it. They looked at each other, whispered and laughed as they moved in their own world even when the music stopped playing. He wanted to hate them for having what he didn't but he was too numb from the insanity of his world after leaving behind the one person who he wanted to be part of the rest of his life. What better way to spend an eternity falling for the girl who bothered with pageants, high school and town events as if it were a matter of life and death but would drop it all in a second for a friend? But more than that, Klaus wanted time with Caroline to figure out just exactly when and how she began to break down his defenses, crushing all the walls he built up around his heart.
"Sir? The kitchen is closing in a few minutes and I just wanted to check if you would like anything else."
"No," Klaus said to the waiter as he blinked in surprise when he noticed he was the last one there, "I'm fine."
The waiter politely left Klaus once again to the thoughts that had occupied him for what appears to have been hours rather than the minutes he had been counting in his mind. And through all that, his hand was still on his phone, absently scrolling through the contact list, always passing by her name.
Klaus stood up and left more than twice his bill before he stepped out into the cold night. He remembered the night they searched for Bonnie, when twelve witches died by Caroline's hand. It was when he wished morning would not come and they would have to face the aftermath of all those lives lost. He gripped his phone tightly when he remembered something he had always wished he could take back. If he could, he would turn back time so that he could take her in his arms and not drive her away for the sake of his wounded pride. Seeing her that broken made him wish he were the one who killed the witches, if only to erase the pain from her eyes, consequences be damned.
He shook his head, hoping it would be enough to clear his mind and forget her for a while. But instead he found himself raising the phone to his ear, listening to the ringing sound followed by another until there was a beep.
"It's me, Caroline. I miss you."