A/N: So I know I shouldn't be starting a new story but I need to get this out of my system, and The Civil Wars deserve more fans.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or the songs off of the album Barton Hollow.
...
Barton Hollow
"Falling"
Haven't you seen me sleepwalking?'
Cause I've been holding your hand
Haven't you noticed me drifting
Oh, let me tell you I am
He looked at his wife sitting across the dinner table and wondered how she could bear the silence. It wasn't as if they had always been like this. Before they were invested in enjoying their marriage. For a while.
He hadn't meant for them to become like this. He hadn't meant for them to fizzle out. He didn't want their marriage to become the business deal it had started out as. But now it was too late to do anything about it.
After a few months of being married she became distant as he buried himself with work. Still, she was a good wife. She stood by his side as they faced the public. She held his hand as the cameras flashed and he attempted to rebuild his family's reputation. She catered to his needs and she tried to help him with his issues. She did what she could, but she could only get so far when he wouldn't let her in and her efforts were not genuine enough to persist until she broke through.
Tell me it's nothing
Try to convince me that I'm not drowning
Oh, let me tell you, I am
He crawled into bed next to her as she continued reading a romance novel. He watched her as she read. She paid him no attention.
"Astoria?"
"Yes?"
He gently guided the novel down to her lap so that she would look at him.
"Are we okay?"
She lifted a brow questioningly but answered, "Yes. We're fine."
"Astoria, don't lie to me."
"I'm not."
Please,
Please tell me you know
I've got to let you go
I can't help falling out of love with you
Looking in her eyes he could tell that she was telling the truth.
He got out of bed and walked to his wardrobe. He opened it and pulled out an outfit at random and began to change.
"Draco? Draco, what are you doing?"
"I'm going out."
"At eleven o'clock at night? Without your wife? What if people see - what will they think?"
He pulled a cloak over his shoulders. "They'll think we're just fine. We're always fine. All we're ever going to be is fine."
Shooting him an accusatory glare she snapped, "You say that like it's a bad thing. Do you know how many couples would kill to be 'just fine'?"
"No, I don't."
"Draco, I'm sorry, just come back to bed."
"No. You can sit there and be fine on your own."
Shooting her an apologetic look he exited the room and then their manor.
…
Why I am feeling so guilty?
Why I am holding my breath?
Worry about everyone but me
And I just keep losing myself
She looked around the dinner table and smiled at the air of normalcy that surrounded them. It was almost like the way things had been before. Before the war. Before the death. Before the grief.
Things were finally getting better for the family. The healing process was almost complete. The good news of the engagement had brought more joy to the household than there had been in a long time. The family was mending and growing.
She felt a strong hand grasp hers and her smile faltered for a moment. The family would probably be expecting another engagement after this one was handled and a beautiful, joyful wedding was thrown. They would expect her engagement next. They had always expected her engagement to the youngest boy. It wasn't just the family, it was what the whole world was expecting. It is what she had expected.
But now she wasn't so sure about what to expect. It was a foreign concept to her - not knowing. She was notorious for knowing things. But there she sat with a family she loved, with a man she loved, not knowing if she would ever become a member of the family like her best friend soon would.
She and the man sitting next to her, they weren't the same anymore. Only, each of them were exactly as they were when they had gotten together. Which was probably the problem.
They started out with a flare, amidst a war they were not sure they'd survive. And then they were hit by grief before it was even over.
They helped each other cope. They cried together. They healed together.
And now things were as they were before. But she felt that they should be progressing, not regressing to what they were before.
Tell me it's nothing
And try to convince me that I'm not drowning
Oh let me tell you, I am
"That was fun. Did you see Mum's face when Ginny showed her the ring? It was priceless!" He chuckled at the memory as he removed his coat and made the way to the small kitchen of their loft.
"That it was," she said quietly. "Ronald, do you think we'll ever get married?"
"'Course we will, 'Mione. Why wouldn't we?"
Yes. Why wouldn't they?
"Why would we?" She asked taking a seat at the counter.
He looked bewildered for a moment. "Because we belong together."
Because they belong together.
Please,
Please tell me you know
I've got to let you go
I can't help falling out of love with you
She let out a laugh. "Yes, that is the rumor, isn't it?"
" 'Rumor'? 'Mione are you okay?"
She made her way towards the door. "Yes." She opened it and inhaled deeply. "And no." Stepping outside she closed the door gently behind her.
…
Won't you read my mind?
Don't you make me lie here
And die
She would understand. He knew she would. He knew deep down this is what she wanted too. She was unhappy. Marriage wasn't supposed to be unhappy. No, that's a lie. Relationships weren't supposed to be unhappy, but they never had a relationship. They'd die together but alone.
She hoped he'd understand. And she hoped he'd forgive her one day. "Because we belong together" wasn't good enough for her. Not anymore. She loved him but she was no longer in love with him. And she was not going to stay in a relationship that was based on bad circular reasoning. They should be together because they belonged together. They belong together because they were always together.
It doesn't work like that.
Oh please,
Please tell me you knowI've got to let you go
I can't help falling out of love with you
With you
He walked into the Leaky Cauldron and ordered a firewhiskey. He was determined to enjoy the rest of his life. Too much time had been wasted already.
She walked into the Leaky Cauldron. She was determined to relinquish her title as Ronald Weasley's destiny to someone else. It is time to be Hermione Granger.
Haven't you noticed darling?
I'm sleepwalking
She slid onto the only available barstool and ordered a butterbeer. He took another sip of his drink.
"Evening, Granger."
"Evening, Malfoy."
They sat in silence until her drink arrived. She turned to face him.
"Cheers?" She held up her drink.
He touched his drink to hers. "Cheers."