Authors Intro

Greetings and welcome everyone to my first Code Geass fanfiction. As you may be able to tell already this will be an AU fanfic of Code Geass and it will be very Shirlulu-based. Now, before we get into it I think it's very important that I explain the history behind this fanfiction.

This whole story is based off one of the many alternate endings to the Code Geass DS game. The ending in particular which I built this fic upon was an ending that took place during the Shirley/Mao arc of the first season in which, instead of Lelouch geassing Shirley to forget everything about him and Zero, he accidentally geasses her into forgetting about everything, leaving her brain dead. After which he devotes his life to taking care of her (sad, yes). Now, truth be told, I haven't actually seen actual full ending for myself, but I have heard descriptions of it, so I think I have the gist of it.

Anyway, while I was discussing this ending with a few of my fellow Code Geass fans I came across the idea of "what if Shirley was somehow able to make a miraculous recovery from the geass?" After all we've seen other people throughout the show resist and even conquer geasses (Nunnally) so why not Shirley? So I came up with this idea.

Also, keep in mind that this was originally just going to be a one shot composed of the first and possibly second chapter of this story. However, the little plot bunnies in my head started a-multiplyin' and so I eventually came up with the full story of this fanfic. So without further ado, I present to you Code Geass: A World Abandoned.

Chapter 1: A Miracle

It was a tranquil spring day around the isolated little cabin, and the sunshine brightly lit up its interior. Inside the modest, humble abode was a single white room. A room as white and clean and sterile as could be allowed for Shirley Fenette. She sat in the straightened, well-made bed with her upper body completely erect. Her eyes glassy and dead, unblinking; the rest of her body unmoving and unflinching. It had been five years since that fateful day.

Don't worry. It's time to forget all the bad things that have happened to you.

I can't.

Yes, you can. I'll have you forget all the fuss.

Impossible.

Shirley, I'm sorry about your father. If I could be reborn into a new life, I would...

Lulu...don't....no!

Shirley, I command you to forget everything!

And with that command she truly had forgotten everything. She had forgotten who she was, what she was, and had lost all sense of being, leaving her mind completely inert.

It was almost immediately after he had given the command that Lelouch realized his foolish mistake. His first emotions were that of shock and fear, and then, as he finally came to realize the reality and irreversibility of the situation, he was overcome with an immense feeling of dread and guilt. He had already brought enough pain on Shirley and had gotten her involved in a situation in which she had no business being in. And now she was a mindless vegetable. It was all too much.

There was a knock on the door.

"Shirley. I'm coming in."

The door opened, and through it walked in Lelouch who was holding a tray. The tray itself held a spoon, some napkins, and a bowl that contained Shirley's afternoon meal.

"How are you doing Shirley?" He walked over to the bed. "I brought strawberry apple sauce today. It's your favorite."

Of course Lelouch's courtesy of leaving the door closed and knocking before entering, as well as his very communication with Shirley, was purely a means of affection. Logically, it would make no difference whether or not he talked to her or what kind of conditions she lived in since she couldn't acknowledge it either way. But he couldn't do that. She was still human after all, and a very kind and loving one at that. Or at least she had been. To treat even her unconscious body without the proper care and respect of a normal person, to him, was unfathomable. Besides, she was all he had. She was the only thing he had to live for, ever since that fateful day when he left everything else behind.

It was a horrific sight. He saw her lifeless motionless body just lying there, and he knew it was entirely his fault. A storm of emotions bombarded his mind. He desperately tried to regain control and make sense of the mind-blowing circumstances surrounding him. It was then that he came to the shocking realization that his old life was over.

He couldn't bear it. He couldn't stand to go on. Even in spite of everything he had accomplished. Becoming Zero. Recruiting the Black Knights. Establishing himself as a viable threat to Britannia. None of that mattered now. He just couldn't continue with that life. Not after what he'd done.

He had decided, or rather he was forced, to leave it all behind. From then on it was only him and Shirley. He had abandoned everything else. He had abandoned the Black Knights. He had abandoned his life at Ashford. He had abandoned his contract with C.C. And worst of all he had abandoned his sister Nunnally.

Well, that wasn't entirely true. Even in his emotional turmoil, he knew he couldn't leave his dear little sister to fend for herself. As a blind crippled outcast of her homeland she would never make it. Not to mention he thought the world of her. After recomposing himself he got out his cell phone and called the last person he would talk to before starting his new life with Shirley.

"Hello?"

"Suzaku, it's me."

"Oh, Lelouch. What's up?"

"Suzaku, I need you to do me a favor."

"What is it?"

"I need you to take care of Nunnally for me."

"What do you mean Lelouch? What's going on?"


"I'm running away Suzaku. I can't ever come back."

"Lelouch, what are you saying? What's happened?"

"I've done something terrible. Horrible. And I can never go back to my old life."

"Lelouch, I don't what's going on, but you can't just…"

"Suzaku. Can you do it?"


There was a brief hesitation.


"Well Lelouch, of course I'll take care of Nunnally, but…"


"Thank you. And…I'm sorry, but I need one more favor."

"What?"

"I need you to make it seem as if me and Shirley have died, and then tell everyone that needs to be told."

"Shirley? What does she have to do with this? Lelouch, what have you gotten yourself mixed up in?!"

Tears began to escape Lelouch's eyes.

"Suzaku. Please. Don't ask me anymore. Just, please, can you do it?"

There was another brief hesitation.

"All right Lelouch. I'll do it."

"Thank you."

He paused as he prepared to break off the final connection to his old life.

"Goodbye old friend."

"Wait, Lelouch!"

He turned his cell phone off.

He wished he could have contacted more people before leaving. Mainly, he wished he could have contacted the Black Knights so that some sort of order and understanding could be made, perhaps establishing a new leader to take his place. But unfortunately he couldn't risk any further communication, lest his identity or his location be found out. So he took Shirley with him that day and left the others to their uncertain fates. He never knew what became of them and, truly, he didn't want to know. He just wanted to forget. But he did take solace in knowing that he had left Nunnally in very capable hands.

In reality, Suzaku had staged it so that it seemed that Lelouch and Shirley had died in a terrorist bombing with himself being the sole witness. After which, he told all the parties concerned and, per Lelouch's request, he took Nunnally to live with him, and he was every bit as caring and protective as her older brother. Lelouch would have been quite content to know, but Shirley was the only thing that concerned him now.

Lelouch sat himself next to the bed where he had fed her, talked to her, and performed several other tasks for her many times before.

"Be sure you eat it all Shirley, you have to keep your strength up. And if it stays sunny maybe we can go for a walk later today."

He placed the tray on the bed as he prepared to feed her. He took a small spoonful of applesauce with one hand and opened her jaw with the other. He gingerly brought the spoon to her mouth and emptied the contents inside, after which he reclosed her jaw and tilted her head back. After a few seconds he tilted her head forward again and prepared another spoonful. However, this task was short-lived as he noticed a trickle of red liquid streaming from the edge of her mouth. Lelouch quickly grabbed a napkin and brought it to her face as the applesauce began to dribble out of her mouth. It was not the first time this had happened.

Taking care of Shirley had proven to be an arduous task, but it was one that Lelouch found gave him meaning. Outside of the involuntary functions of her body, everything had to be done for her. He fed her, dressed her, and even bathed her. He had had experience taking care of Nunnally, but nothing compared to taking care of a girl who couldn't even keep a spoonful of applesauce in her mouth. But it could have been worse. At least she didn't choke on it this time.

There were some aspects he liked about it though. He enjoyed the time the two of them spent together, and since he controlled almost every aspect of her life and had to be sure she was always given the proper attention, it was assured that his mind was constantly occupied. There was also a certain sense of pride in knowing that this girl was entirely dependent on him and through his own sacrifice and commitment he had been able to keep her alive for five years. In spite of these small rewards and pleasures, however, he would have gladly taken it all back in a heartbeat.

The guilt was still there, giving him many sleepless nights with intense remorse as his only bedside companion. If only he had finished the sentence with "…about Zero" or "…about Lelouch." He had played the scene over and over in his head, hundreds of times over the course of five years, forever regretting that momentary lapse of judgment.

He finished wiping her face clean and threw the napkin into the nearby trashcan. He moved the tray to the end table. He sighed and looked at her. He felt so helpless.

"It's okay Shirley, you don't have to eat right now. You can eat when you're ready."

Tears began to well up in his eyes.

"You don't have to eat if you don't want. We can just talk. We can just enjoy each others company."

Clearly getting choked up as he spoke, he took a moment to recompose himself. He fought back the tears and the rising lump in his throat, as he tried to just have a normal conversation. He calmed himself and continued.

"Can you believe it's been five years Shirley? Five years, just the two of us." He paused and turned his head to look around the room. "We've had some good times, haven't we? I remember the first day I brought you here and it was so empty, and everything looked so neat and tidy. It was like we were given a fresh start and, well…"

He noticed the empty and sterile environment of the room.

"…Well, I guess it hasn't changed much."

He lowered his head. He took a long pause and a deep breath, and then continued.

"It was good back at Ashford, wasn't it? We had some fun times. I remember Rivalz and Nina and the Pres and all those crazy events she used to throw. We had it good there, didn't we?"

His hands began to tremble.

"I know you had some good times there. I know I didn't take much notice of you when we first met, but your cheerful laugh and your smile always seemed to brighten up the room."

Tears began to well in eyes again.

"I remember how you would always goof around. I remember that you were terrible at cooking and you were always so clumsy and awkward. But still, you were just so happy and you were always so much fun to be around. And I remember the day…the day you came to me with those tickets, like we would go out on a date, and…and…"

The tears began to fall.

In the whole five years they had been together, though he had talked to her about many other things, he had never once talked to her about the incident. He had never talked to her about her father's death, or about him being Zero, or her supposed murder of a Britannian soldier, or the hateful geass that he had placed on her. He didn't want to confront it. Like with everything else, he just wanted to forget. He couldn't face the reality of what he had done and wanted to bury it all under the new life he had created.

But it couldn't stay buried forever. The years had taken their toll on him and it was on this day, the fifth anniversary of the incident, that he found he could no longer deny the truth. His emotions were surging forth and, willingly or not, he was going to confront them. His emotions burst out in a force unlike anything he had felt in five years.

"I'm sorry!"

The tears fell from his face onto his lap.

"I'm so sorry!"

He leaned his arms on the bed for support.

"You were always such a kind girl. You were always there for me, and I took it for granted. Your bright smile always made me so happy. And then…it was gone. Your smile was taken away. And it was all my fault! I took everything away from you! I would do anything, anything, to take it all back!"

He fell forward and sobbed into her lap.

"Please, Shirley I just want to see you smile again. Please, just once…just once."

In his flurry of emotions, he had let everything out. Five years of pent up emotional turmoil had all come gushing out like a geyser, and there was only one thing left to say. The one final emotion which he had to confront and he would finally be free. He spoke the words which, perhaps, he should have spoken five years ago.

"I love you Shirley."

And in that instant, something clicked. Deep down inside Shirley's consciousness, Lelouch's words had ignited a fuse, which led to a chain of events that were slowly reawakening Shirley's mind, all stimulated by a force even more powerful than the geass. The power of love. Her sense of being was slowly being restored, and suddenly it was as if a dark suffocating veil had been lifted.

She looked for an opening, anyway that she could escape the confines of her geass prison as she struggled to regain her mind. Although her body remained still, she was having a fierce battle inside her mind as she fought against the absolute power of the geass, her will being fueled by Lelouch's confession. Finally, she broke through and she became immediately aware of her surroundings.

For the first time in five years, Shirley spoke.

"……Lulu."

At first he wasn't even sure if he heard it. Or maybe he had just imagined it. He went dead silent, but then spoke.

"What?"

Her mind was still fuzzy. She was continuously trying to repel the geass, but she had regained enough sense to see and think. She forced herself through the suffocating haze and spoke once more.

"Lulu"

He heard her.

He immediately rose out of her lap to look at her. Stunned, he grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her to face him.

"Shirley. Shirley, is that you? Can you talk, Shirley? Can you hear me, Shirley? Can you hear me?"

Her mind continued to fight. The geass was relentless but so was she. She could see Lelouch and she knew what she had to do. Her mind struggled and struggled until finally she had broken through. The geass still claimed most of her senses and memories, but she had now reached where she was at least self-aware. She knew herself, she knew she was alive, she knew sight, she knew speech, and most importantly she knew Lelouch.

She smiled.

"Yes……Lulu."

It was then that Lelouch knew he was in the presence of a miracle. All he could do was just look at her. Look at her and her beautiful smile. As tears streamed down his face he was overtaken by a whole new wave of unbridled emotions, unlike anything he had ever felt in his life. He took her in a loving embrace. As his joyful tears continued to fall, Shirley began to release her own tears of happiness.

At that moment it was just the two of them. Two halves of a whole miracle. A girl who had persevered and survived and gained the will to break through a seemingly unstoppable force, and a boy who, upon facing his fears and his emotions, was able to break her free of a curse that had taken away her life. The two were together, and they let themselves soak in the joy and comfort of their sheer unity.

And it was the happiest moment of either of their lives.

Authors Notes

So, what'd you think? Well, if you liked it then aren't you lucky, cause you've got two more chapters to immediately follow up on =). Don't forget to review the story if you feel so generous as to do so.