Ease of Mind

Blood…sweat…tears...rain…

The revolver is gripped firmly in his hand, his blue eyes glazed over in fear. He stares into your deep green orbs. You stare right back. You feel hurt, betrayed, disappointed…but you know nothing.

You have no idea as to how much pain in which he is writhing; the thoughts churning in his head, the love boiling in his heart, each conflicting each other. He is bleeding from the inside out, slowly killing himself and not even realizing it. How much more can he take?

Your chest aches as you see his long, once-gorgeous, now frazzled hair fall over his bloody, scarred face. He licks his lips. His hands start to tremble and his knees suddenly become weak. His head speaks bullets.

"Look at you…you're pathetic."

"You don't deserve to be a nation."

"You don't deserve to live."

You lower your gun ever so slightly, seeing his obvious internal conflict. He squeezes his eyes shut and turns his face away. "Stop….please…"

He feels as if tiny parts of him are being slaughtered. Every muscle in his body yearns for relief and each bone grows weary.

"See all of this? You caused it."

"You set your own demise."

You take a single step closer. He drops to his knees, moving the revolver to the side of his head. The rain penetrates his skin like shards of glass.

"Is this what you wanted?"

"You finally get to fall…"

"…and he gets to watch as it happens."

He curls tight around himself, clutching his shoulders. "No…s'il vous plait…"

You speak, voice cracking and shaking. "France…don't…"

"You…"

"…are…"

"…nothing."

"Arrêter!" he wails.

A gunshot.

His eyes are wide open. His body is still. Shock fills his body as he stares at you.

Your hand is on his revolver, turned the opposing direction from his skull. You and he are face to face, so close that you can feel his labored breath on your lips. He just stares at you. You search his eyes for some kind of evidence that he is conscious of his surroundings. You can't take it anymore. You wrap your arms around him and pull him closer to your rain/blood-soaked body.

Then he realizes…

Silence.

For a moment he cannot speak, move, or do any other thing. But he slowly closes his eyes and presses his face into your shoulder, releasing what was held in.

Today, he falls hard.