I guess you could call it a variant of Dark Humor + Crack fic at the supr of the moment, but anyway...

A Blast and a Promise

Summary: Set seconds after Maria's ending. Fayt solves this situation the same way he solves any situation: by pummeling it into submission!

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One of my future prospects is right here in front of me! And the other is a guy I didn't choose...

Having said those words, Maria eyed Fayt closely. It was rather awkward to tell him that, to say the least. She hadn't given him many hints but she felt that she had a chance. After all, wasn't he the one consistently healing her while Cliff was too busy smashing things with his fists? Granted Fayt liked to Shotgun Blast everything that moved, but he was sweet enough to make sure she was fine before he burned certain things to death.

Fayt, for his part, froze. This wasn't Maria. This couldn't be Maria. The Maria he knew was a tough, no nonsense girl who would never be so open with her feelings. She mostly kept to herself or said the most harsh things, but in the end it was she who tried to lessen his wounds with Protection or something.

But even on a good day, Maria wouldn't flirt with him. He knew that for a fact. But this Maria was flirting, and that couldn't be right.

Therefore, there was only one solution to this problem.

"Shotgun Blast!"

Fayt's hand glowed a brilliant orange, and, stomping forward, he sent that hand crashing towards Maria's scalp.

The girl was quite startled by the sudden attack, but she was no weakling. She let out a scream as the flames hit her, but recovered a few milliseconds later to send out a reply:

"Fayt, What the Hell?!"

"You can't be Maria!"

"What?!" She was so ready to feed him a few energy bullets.

"Maria would never be such a slut! Maria's the kind of person who would be far more honest than that. I know that you're a disguised succubus or something. Take off that mask and face me!"

Maria just stared at Fayt in disbelief.

Several people had heard the crash of 'shotgun blast,' and Lieber suddenly broke into the room.

Seeing Maria slightly burned on her hands and arms, and seeing Fayt towering over her, the young, lovestruck cadet did what any 'real' man would do.

Or, at least, what any 'sane' Lieber would do.

"You hurt Maria? Die, bastard!"

And soon, the two men found themselves wrestling on the floor.

Maria could hear the thuds of footsteps as more people came.

From the doorway, Steeg appeared, and shook his head as he saw the two men fighting. Gently taking her by the hand, the two emerged from Maria's room, with the blue haired beauty continuously shaking her head.

"Leader, are you ok?" Steeg asked.

Maria ignored him.

"Leader?" Marietta came running as well, surprised at the commotion.

Maria just sighed. "Men are idiots."

And Steeg was rather stunned.

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Maria hated to have Cliff and Lancar involved, but when Marietta called them for help they came running.

As she thought of it, it was a rather funny experience. Lancar and Cliff pried Fayt and Lieber off each other, and knocked them both out cold to finish the job.

She didn't understand. It wasn't like Fayt to turn violent towards his friends, and definitely not towards her. He... He wasn't a brute, or at least she didn't think he was.

But this Shotgun Blast to the face. Honestly, what the hell was he thinking?

Or was he thinking at all?

Come to think of it, Cliff sometimes had clueless expressions, and Lieber had them most of the time.

Were men really that stupid? No wonder why Clair and Nel were like that even though they dealt with so many guys.

On the planet of Elicoor II, various male Runeologists, Adray, and Albel sneezed simultaneously.

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He had to kill Fayt.

To hurt Maria... To use that godforsaken spell on her. That was unforgivable! Maria, no, the Leader, no, Maria was his! He would always be there for her. The fact that she trusted Fayt proved that she had misread him. But he knew how Fayt was the moment he saw him. Fayt was evil. Fayt would hurt Maria, and Lieber knew it. Fayt had to die.

But, that was the thing. Cliff was protecting Fayt. He trusted Cliff. Cliff would help support Maria. So why would Cliff protect someone like Fayt? If Cliff protected Fayt, then Cliff supported Fayt. If Cliff supported Fayt, then Cliff supported evil. That meant that Cliff was evil. Evil people would hurt Maria. So, Cliff had to die too.

Lieber gritted his teeth. Both Fayt and Cliff had to die, but how would he get rid of them?

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With Fayt bound to a chair, Cliff stood over him with eyebrows raised. Maria, in spite of Lancar, Steeg, and even Cliff's warnings, was right behind the blond powerhouse.

"Fayt, what the hell were you thinking?" Cliff crossed his arms. "You could have killed Maria! If you did that, then let's just say that we of Quark would hunt you down and gut you before you could say 'uncle.'"

Fayt gulped. "Maria, I... I thought you were a fake..."

"What kind of lame excuse is that?" Cliff protested, but Maria waved him off.

"That's consistent. What were you thinking, Fayt?" She spoke, trying to be as calm as possible without whipping out her gun and shooting him in the face.

"You... You'd never just openly flirt with me like that..." Fayt mumbled.

"Wait. You did what now?" Cliff did a double take and stared at Maria.

Maria sighed. "Fayt, I.." She started to shudder a little, and somehow Fayt found it cute even though she could so easily shoot him.

Both Cliff and Fayt waited eagerly, like kids after being told that if they waited they'd get candy.

"I was serious about that!" Her eyes narrowed.

Fayt gulped. "Um, sorry, Maria."

Cliff shook his head. "There's so much this kid has to learn so quickly." He mused aloud.

Maria crossed her arms.

"Maria, I, um, I didn't expect you to say such a thing so openly. You... You've always been someone who would speak her mind, yet who would keep her opinions to herself so that she wouldn't be a burden to others. That's what I've always, um, liked about you." It was Fayt's turn to look like a little awkward teen at the school prom.

A silence fell in the room as Fayt and Maria avoided eye contact. Somehow Cliff could make out a bit of tint on both their cheeks.

He shook his head. "I'll let you two be."

With that, Cliff left the room.

"Wait, Cliff, untie me right now! Cliff!... Um, Maria?" Fayt glanced at her.

"Maybe you should stay there a little longer. You'll definitely need some more time to think." She smirked, and left the room as well.

"Damn."

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Lancar had finally let Lieber leave his cell, knowing that he'd probably just start chasing Maria again, like he always did.

But Lieber had other things in mind.

"I have to protect Maria, and to protect Maria I have to stop evil from hurting her. Fayt hurt her, so Fayt is evil and I have to get rid of him. Cliff protects Fayt so he's evil and I have to get rid of him too. And this will help me do it." Lieber repeated to himself. If he repeated his mission he wouldn't be so quick to forget it.

Stroking the knife he had kept hidden in his back pocket, Lieber slowly inched towards Fayt's 'cell.'

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Fayt sighed. He was stuck in this chair for a bit too long.

He had no idea that, from a security camera located in that room, Maria was keeping an eye on him, just to make sure that he wouldn't starve to death or something.

But as Lieber entered the room, the look on his face told her that something was terribly wrong.

And thus she ran out of her room to stop him.

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Lieber smiled as he brandished his knife.

"I've had to deal with you for too long! Cliff isn't here to protect you and you're tied up so you can't hurt Maria. Now, if I get rid of you, Maria will be saved."

"Lieber, I don't know what drugs you're taking, but I swear that everything's fine now. Maria's just a little angry with me is all. Could you just put down that knife, please?" Fayt smiled as sweat poured down his back. If only he was unbound and had his sword...

"No, I'm going to have to get rid of you to protect Maria, and once I get rid of you Maria and I can live happily together without you to hurt her. Goodbye, Fayt!"

"Aiming Device!" A certain voice cried out. A lazer flew from behind Leiber and hit his knife, melting it and making it useless.

The lovestruck cadet froze.

"Don't move or I'll turn you to dust."

"But, Maria, he's going to hurt you."

"Shut it, Lieber. You were the one trying to kill someone."

Fayt could only stare at what was going on in awe.

"Maria, he hurt you..."

"He's an idiot, yes, but he already knows he's wrong and apologized. It wasn't like a single attack like that could seriously injure me, but you looked like you really were going to kill him."

"So I can't cut his throat with a knife, but he can hit you in the face with a bomb? Maria, stop for a second and think about what you're saying! I love you and I won't let you get hurt!"

"The difference is that the fight he started is over, but you were about to commit a murder."

Fayt's eyes widened. So she had forgiven him so quickly? That didn't sound like her.

"Maria, I won't let you get hurt." Lieber insisted.

Maria's voice softened a bit in her reply: "Just get down on your knees, Lieber, with your hands up."

"This is for your own good!" Lieber jumped at Fayt with his hands ready to strangle him.

And Maria shot Lieber in the leg.

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"So that's the story, huh? Well, it's good that Fayt and Maria were able to get out of this safely, though I find it strange that she'd actually continue with her plan as though his attack never happened." Mirage stroked her chin.

"Fayt was being an idiot, that's all. Now that he's smartened up and stopped being so stupid, Maria decided to forgive him. I hope they actually find some peace in these times." Cliff sighed.

"What about Lieber?"

"What about him?"

"Is he still after Maria?"

"Well..."

The village folk of Whipple have a terrifying legend. Deep within the forest lies a being with matted, muddy brown hair and startling eyes to match. An unlucky witness can always hear it mumbling: "Maria... I'll save you one day... He'll die... He'll die!..."

"Let's just say he's in good hands, now." Cliff gave an embarrassed smile.