Rating: PG-13 possibly R later, I'm not quite sure.
Disclaimer: If it looks like something J.K. Rowling wrote, it probably is. The rest and the plot are mine. Sally Anne is a J.K. character too.
Summary: It's that time of the month at Hogwarts, in more ways than one. This takes place in their sixth year.
A/N: Please read and review. Flames are whatever, if you don't like this be honest.
That Time of the MonthChapter One: Avoidance at all Costs
The sun peeked through the leaded windows and its rays focused on a tuft of light brown hair sticking out from a thick scarlet duvet with golden trim. The figure encased in the covers rolled over and the rays kissed a sleepy face.
"Arrgh! Goddamned sun," a girl shouted as she flung a heavy scarlet pillow at the windows.
"Hermione, shut up," shrieked another female voice.
"Shut up yourself Sally Anne," hissed a third voice.
"Sod off the lot of you, and you keep your big nose out of this Parvati," shouted Sally Anne.
Parvati gasped. "Lavender! It isn't really that big is it?" the girl sobbed as she rushed over to the vanity to inspect her face in the mirror.
"It's fine. Stop worrying, you'll give yourself a stress pimple."
"Whew, alright. That wasn't very nice of you Sally Anne."
" Well, it wasn't very nice of you to put your nose in my business in the first place."
"I just wish that you could argue with 'Mione a bit quieter next time," Parvati retorted.
"Well it isn't my fault that the flipping sun had to shine in my face so early now is it?" asked Hermione.
As the argument escalated, a group of fully clothed sixth year boys began to form outside of the girl's dormitory.
"Oh no," moaned a sandy-haired Irish boy.
"What?" asked his companion.
" Neville," he began, " I reckon that this is the week that we have to avoid the girls at all costs, or risk being told off even worse than our own mothers or grandmothers could do."
Neville gulped.
" Yup, I'm afraid so," said a third boy," Ron has been keeping track of this on a calendar ever since he started seeing Hermione."
"Boys, I think it is best if we hurry down to breakfast before we get dragged into this mess. It's too early in the morning," said Ron who had just finished getting dressed.
"Dean, hurry up!" they called as they headed into the common room and were making their way to the portrait hole.
Back in the girl's dormitory, things had just been sorted out and the girls were beginning to get dressed. Parvati shrieked and rolled over onto her bed sobbing. The other girls rushed over to assess the situation.
"Parvati, whatever is the matter?" asked Lavender who was still only clad in her knickers and a bra.
"My..my..my..jeans..wwwwon't g..go..on!" she wailed.
Hermione rushed over to the calendar on her wall, and scanned the page. "Shit," she muttered under her breath. "Girls, it is that time of the month," she continued. "We had all better find some sweatpants and tee shirts to wear under our robes this week.
"Er… Hermione, this might be your week, but what makes you so sure that it's ours too?" asked Lavender.
"I read somewhere that when girls live together that their anatomical clocks synchronize and their menstrual cycles occur at the same time."
"Oh, well I guess that makes sense." Sally Anne said.
"But, my jeans still won't fit." Parvati whimpered.
At the same time, down in the Great Hall, Harry Potter and his friends had noticed that the entire male portion of the student body was eating breakfast early that morning. There wasn't a girl in sight.
"Ron," Harry said.
"What?"
"Did you notice that all of the guys are eating right now."
"Well, they aren't exactly stupid." Ron retorted..
Harry glanced at the Slytherin table. Even Draco Malfoy, Vincent Crabbe, and Gregory Goyle weren't stupid enough to stay around girls this week. At the beginning of the year an anonymous person had sent around the same article that Hermione had read. Attached to it was a note that read, "PREPARE YOURSELVES." At the beginning of the year, they had taken this as a joke. They had soon realized just how serious the writer was. As Harry sat remembering the warning, his friend Neville had been scanning the staff table for a sign of his least favorite teacher professor Snape. He didn't see Snape, but another absence caught his eye.
A/N: cliffhanger! not really. If I get five reviews ( good or bad ), I'll post another chapter.