Squishy, Hugger of Worlds

by Masamune CAN

Squishy, a big old happy thingy, comes to Earth for no reason and its up to ZIM, Dib and Skoodge to stop it before it squishes earth in a hug. Yes, it sounds weird... give it a chance though!

I don't really like this one. Please don't be mean to me with the reviews though... I just wanted you to see it. I am sorry. tear

INVADER ZIM

#36a/b

"Squishy - Hugger of Worlds"

by CAN

FADE IN:

EXT. ZIM's HOUSE - THE SATALITE's SURFACE

ZIM's satalite ADJUSTS position. It turns UPWARDs. A beam of some sort gathers energy and STUFF, getting stronger and brighter. It then SHOOTs out and into the SKY. Stylish opening. CUT TO:

EXT. THE MASSIVE

The ship leads the ARMADA through bare space.

INT. THE MASSIVE

The Tallest talk to INVADER SKLUD on the big screen. They are wearing little hats that match thier eye colors and are waving little FLAGS.

RED

And what Intergalatic Bludgeon Team do YOU want to win the finals, INVADER SKLUD?

PURPLE (EXCITED)

TEAM POOTEMALL ROCKS!

SKLUD

I must admit, my Tallest, I rather enjoy TEAM SEATS.

RED (FURIOUS)

SEATS? WHADDAYAMEAN?! What do you see in THEM?!

(to control officer)

Send a holographic, yet painful enough BADGER to PLANET BIGOLTHANG!

ONSCREEN, SKLUD gasps, screams and is immediatly chased offscreen by an angry-looking badger thing.

PURPLE

YEAHH! GO BADGER! GET HIM! GET HIM GOOD!

The screen then STATICS and completly DISCONNECTS.

PURPLE

Hey... what happened?! WE WERE WATCHING THAT!

CONTROL OFFICER

Cut in, sirs! ... ZIM is calling.

ZIM comes onscreen, looking oblviously oblvious.

ZIM (OBLVIOUSLY OBLIVIOUS)

Hello, my Tallest... You know, I had quite a time getting ahold of you... for some reason this operator kept coming up... eventually I had to use my back-up connection line!

He scratches his head and shrugs.

PURPLE
Back-up connection line? Invaders only get one line each! Where'd you get another one?!

ZIM (CARELESSLY)

Oh, I bought it... anyhow, I wanted-

RED (NOT UP TO IT)

Listen, ZIM... why don't you call us back? We were just involved in a very meaningful and important-

SUDDENLY, the screen breaks up and disconnects again. ZIM disappears. They both sigh.

PURPLE (RELIEVED)

It makes me glad that ZIM's base is trash.

RED

Yeah, me too... but we should see what's up wit it. Officer... EXPLAIN!

CONTROL OFFICER

Hold on, sirs, let me trace the problem-

PURPLE (INTERRUPTING)

-hey, cotton candy!

A nearest Control Officer has some hidden and takes some out to eat under the control panel. The Tallest swoop down apon him and take it all. They begin to laugh as they share some. The jerks eat it loudly.

INT. ZIM's HOUSE - THE LAB

ZIM

I don't get it! Why does this happen?? THIS IS THE DOZENTH TIME TODAY!! Huh? WHO IS THAT?!

A rustling noise was a second before heard. ZIM looks around, furiously fed up.

INT. A VENT ABOVE ZIM

Someone is watching ZIM through the bars, breathing spookily.

INT. ZIM's HOUSE - THE LAB

The VENT BREAKS and sends SKOODGE crashing into ZIM, crushing him.

SKOODGE

Heya, ZIM! Do you notice how I keep fallin' on ya?!

ZIM (IN PAIN)

Yees.

SKOODGE

I heard what you said... And whether you like it or not, I'm a'gonna a'find out what's a'goin' a'on.

ZIM

You dare tell ZIM what you are going to do? YOU'LL DO WHAT I TELL YOU, NOT WHAT YOU WANT!

SKOODGE (GULLABLE)

Okay ZIM, I'm sorry.

ZIM

I suppose I could let you off, however... I have a problem that needs to be fixed!

Skoodge looks entraced and inspired as ZIM marches off.

SKOODGE (ENTRACED/INSPIRED)
I know that old ZIM is probably sorting things out now, and that I'm going to get severely displined for this and all, but I'M GOING TO FIND OUT WHAT's WRONG TOO!

He turns to the panel and types something in. We RISE OUT of the ground and FADE TO Earth's surface. We PAN ON DOWN THE STREET really fast... and soon get to...

EXT. DIB's HOUSE - NIGHT

The garage door is open.

INT. DIBSHIP COCKPIT

DIB talks, apparently, to himself.

DIB

Now that Tak's ship is programed to idenifty my bio-signature, ZIM won't be able to overwelm it like last time! Then I will be able to stop him without interference!

(he presses a button on the dash of the DIBSHIP. It beeps and an empty hologram comes up)

And also, it's still Irken, which means that I can use it's IRKEN cordenences to call ZIM up... HA! I CAN'T WAIT TO UNLEASH MY... uhhhh... pretty lame plan... I don't know how calling ZIM up will stop him from annialating earth, but, then again, I don't know why I still talk to myself...

A FAILING NOISE comes from the DIBSHIP. A screen turns red with a frowny face in the middle.

DIBSHIP

Problem detected: Failure in IRKEN connection line.

DIB

WHAT?! How can that be? Ship!

(DIBSHIP beeps)

Trace the problem!

(suddenly hyper)

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! I'M GIVING MY SHIP COMMANDS! YEAH!

A screen on the ship shows a GRAPHIC version of ZIM's HOUSE next to a GRAPHIC version of the Dibship. A energy cord-like thingy connects the two. Electrical vibes pulse through this link.

INT. THE MASSIVE

CONTROL OFFICER

SIRS! PROBLEM... (continued)

INTERCUT. DIB's HOUSE - THE DIBSHIP COCKPIT

The DIBSHIP and CONTROL OFFICER harmonize the same sentence. UNLIKELY.

DIBSHIP + CONTROL OFFICER

... FOUND! INTERFERENCE OF... (continued)

THREE-WAY INTERCUT - DIB's HOUSE; THE MASSIVE; ZIM's LAB

THE DIBSHIP, CONTROL OFFICER and ZIM's COMPUTER harmonize now. SUPER UNLIKELY.

THE DIBSHIP + CONTROL OFFICER + ZIM's COMPUTER

... A PORSHEH GARGANTUANE!

The three-way intercut shows THE TALLEST's faces... jaws dropped... SKOODGE's face... JAW DROP... DIB's face... CONFUSED.

END OF INTERCUT SCENE.

INT. DIB's HOUSE

DIB

Uh... was that supposed to clarify things?

INT. THE MASSIVE

The Tallest still hold thier cotten candy. PURPLE's mouth is full, but he does not chew... shock.

RED (SHOCK)

SQUISHY... is... BACK? I thought we were done with him! HIS SPECIES DISAPPEARED! Long ago!

PURPLE

(spewing candy all over RED)

HEY! WHY DON'T WE DESTROY HIS NEXT TARGET?! JUST TO MAKE HIM SAD! Maybe if he gets sad enough he'll... I dunno... perish on the spot?

RED

Hey... hey, yeah! Officer... track Squishy. Tell us where he's going.

CONTROL OFFICER

He is just now entering the MILKY WAY GALAXY, sir.

PURPLE

(spewing more candy on RED)

HEY! THAT's WHERE WE SENT ZIM! YEAH! If he's headed towards EARTH, we'll be rid of Squishy AND ZIM! That's a jackpot!

RED

Oooh!

(to officer)

Head the fleets to Earth and wait for Squishy!

CONTROL OFFICER

But we don't even know that's where he's going for sure!

RED
DO IT!

The Control Officer shrugs and gets to work on it...

CONTROL OFFICER (BORED)

I'll get CAPTAIN JIGGY, HEAD OF THE WESTERN ARMADA FLEETS up...

The Tallest both cheer stupidly. We pull out of the Massive... we fade through space, PANNING AS FAST AS POSSIBLE TOWARDS... THAT WAY. Finally...

EXT. SPACE

A gargantuan monster that looks rather HAPPY and LOVING floats happily through space. A herd of SPACE DUCKS float across his path. He happily stops and allows them to pass, still HAPPY. He leans over and pets one with his eyes closed. He's so happy... and JOYFUL. One duck quakes. This completly overwelms the gargantuan. He is SO HAPPY, that he reaches for the nearest planet, a large yellow one with many pointed buildings along it. He HUGS it. The ducks watch... INTENTLY. After a few seconds of ANTICIPATION, many spaceships fly out the planet and begin to shoot Squishy. Inside a cockpit of an attackship, an alien commander named Fred the Barbarian pilots it, yelling over the intercom.

FRED

Shoot him, brothers! Shoot him gooood!

CARL

(in ship passing)

Alrighty, boss.

Fred looks pleased with himself as all the squads DIVE in for another attack. Dramatic music swells. Squishy screams. The space ducks quake in FRIGHT as they scatter. This is all taking dramatically longer then it should. Squishy grabs the planet again and cowers behind it, using it as a shield. He squels. It's actually cute. Pitiful.

FRED

Now, brothers, don't shoot our planet, we're trying to PROTECT IT-

But CARL had already launched a LASER-LIKE MISSILE at his own planet. Don don don.

INTERCUT!

CARL in his cockpit, cheering stupidly... Fred stops his own ship and looks confused... INTERCUT END. All the action stops and the ship-commanders and Squishy watch in SLOW MOTION as the missile flys towards the yellow planet.

MONTAGE:

Squishy's shocked face, then Freds face, then CARL's face, who doesn't seem to notice anything as he picks his nose DEEPLY. It switches faster and faster between these three things, before, finally, the missile hits the planet, causing a huge explosion.

There is a moment of PURE WONDERING amoung everyone as the dust devolops them all into darkness. When it clears, Squishy is still clenching the no-longer there planet. Squishy stands for a minute, sad. Then he CRIES. The ships scatter and leave, EMBARRASSED.

Squishy looks forward and, wiping his eyes, sees a spiral galaxy... this spiral galaxy is the entrance to the Milky Way galaxy... EARTH. Squishy looks at the spiral of pretty doom, growing his old smile and sticking out his tongue in a cute manner. Don don don.

INT. ZIM's HOUSE - THE KITCHEN

ZIM leans through the fridge a ways. Suddenly, the wall next to the fridge collaspes to reveal SKOODGE.

SKOODGE

Oops...

(he eyes the mess)

...sorry about the wall... I don't know how that happened exactly... hey, I thought you were... figuring stuff out?

ZIM (LOOKING AWKWARD)

I was... am! You don't understand how my brillant mind works, SKOODGE! You just live in your own world.

ZIM comes out of the fridge, holding a IRKEN SPACE-FLAVORED SPACED FLAVE TREAT THING. He licks it, then, biting half of it off, he stares at SKOODGE.

SKOODGE

...Yeaahh. But ZIM! LOOKETT WHAT I JUST FOUND OUT - SQUISHY's BACK!

Silence.

ZIM

Wait, did you say 'SQUISHY'?

SKOODGE (EXCITED)

YES!

Silence.

ZIM

Oohh... hehhhh...

He takes another bite of his treat and chews. He swallows. He is about to take another bite.

ZIM

I thought you said, 'Kissy.' I was like, 'heh?'

SKOODGE

HOLD ON, ZIM! ...AREN'T YOU GOING TO USE YOUR ZIMMY ZIMNESS TO SOLVE OUR DILEMA!?

ZIM (FLUSTERED)

Er. What? What dilema? Ooh, SQUISHY. Yes... yes. Hehhh...

(he shrugs)

...you talk nonsense... don't be ridiculous.

SKOODGE (DESPERATE)

I'm serious!!

ZIM

I don't believe you.

Skoodge grumbles and holds his head in frustration.

INT. DIB's HOUSE- THE DIBSHIP COCKPIT

DIB (UNSURE)

Could you maybe... make this easier on me? I don't know what a gargantuane IS.

DIBSHIP beeps as information floods the holographic, now-blank screen. Dib squints his eyes as he reads.

DIB

Interference: a Porseh Gargantuan. Gargantuanes hug planets, usually destroying them. ONLY one, Squishy, has been left since the destruction of his race by annomous souls. Tried to be summoned by the Irken Empire to help destroy planets, it was failure... he is far too loving... his PAK, unlike Irkens, doesn't hold his personalitity... since they only experiences love, Gargatuane's PAKs has but a sandwich to hold.

(he stops reading)

... a gargantuane's out... there! IN SPACE! HOW PARANORMAL AND FREAKY IS THAT?! I need to stop him... ohhh boy... PLEASE don't make me have to ask ZIM for help... not again...

PAN UPWARDS

FADE TO: DEEP SPACE - CONTINUOUS.

We look at the entrance to the Milky way galaxy. It is CALM and stuff, intil Squishy pops out of it, looking HAPPY. The ducks now follow Squishy. He looks pleased with himself as he sees Earth, the ONLY ONE for miles. He makes moon-walk motions as he moves little by little.

SQUISHY (CONT'D)

You know what, ducks?

(the ducks quake question-like-sounding quakes)

I is gonna hug all the planets in this galaxy.

(the ducks quake amusing sounding quakes)

I is gonna bring them all love and joy.

(the ducks quake happily)

And then, I is gonna leave.

The ducks gasp as one slaps it's wings on it's cheeks, McColly Colkin style. They start going again.

SQUISHY

(at random)

Oh yeah!

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT ONE

ACT TWO

INT. ZIM's HOUSE - DAY

ZIM and SKOODGE are still arguing.

ZIM (NOT GETTING IT)

WHAT's wrong?? HUH? WHAT DO YOU MEAN??!

SKOODGE

ZIM! I know what's going on, I know, I really... KNOOW - while you were -

ZIM waves this away.

ZIM

Nonsense.

SKOODGE

WHAT - COME ON, ZIM, BELIEVE ME! EARTH's DESMISE IS AT HAND! BELIEVE! BELIEVE!

SKOODGE absolutly loses his mind and smacks ZIM. BAD CHOICE.

ZIM (FURIOUS)

Wh- You... how you COULD CHOOSE!! ...you... you... HOW YOU WOULD DARE!! ...YOU... (continued)

SKOODGE (PANICKED)

Oh... oh no, ZIM... I didn't... please don't...

ZIM

(continued)... HORRIBLY OBESE COW-PIG!

ZIM kicks SKOODGE in the butt. SKOODGE screams and runs from the room, hollering for his life. ZIM chases him, furious.

EXT. THE MASSIVE

The Massive drifts through the Milky way galaxy entrance.

PURPLE (O.S)

Whaddaya mean we can't go off course to destroy a random planet just because! Isn't this what we do?!

INT. THE MASSIVE

A CAPTAIN IN CHARGE OF STUFF IS ONSCREEN.

CAPTAIN JIGGY

...we can't do that, sirs, we just can't! The cordenences are set to planet-

PURPLE (WHINING LIKE A CHILD)

We don't care about the cordenences! We wanna make a pit-stop!

CAPTAIN JIGGY (TO SELF)

This isn't going to be right...

RED

Huh? What was that?

CAPTAIN JIGGY

I said, 'Let's go in for the fight'... I guess...

RED

That's better!

CUT TO: SPACE.

Squishy is now dancing in small jigs as he moon-walks towards Earth, which is quite a while away.

SQUISHY (SINGING)

I's jiggin' while's I's goin' to the next... PLANET! I's jiggin' while I's goin' to the next PLANEEEET!

He ends his song with one long note. The ducks had been swaying in dance-with-Squishyness. Now they all stop and look at another, awkward.

SQUISHY (REASSURINGLY)

We be there in a little bit. LITTLE BIT!

The ducks nod. Those stinking ducks.

EXT. ZIM's HOUSE - THE CULDESAC

Dib runs down the street, breathing heavily. He stops at ZIM's door and pounds on the door.

DIB (YELLING IN INSANITY)

ZIM! TRAGEDY! A MONSTER! A BIG... HUGFUL MONSTER! COME OUT!

PAN DOWN. We fade through the ground under ZIM's YARD. DOWN through the dirt... TO THE LAB! We ARRIVE.

ZIM is strapping SKOODGE to the ceiling, above a large pond of hideous spooky MYSTERY KRINJATIS. DIB's voice is still screaming. ZIM looks up from his strapping and listens. SKOODGE falls from his hanging DOOM and lands on the ground, making a loud thud.

ZIM

What the- I HEAR DIB! IMPOSSIBLE! THIS LAB IS UNDERGROUND, and by my research, EARTH GROUND is too thick to possibly transmit such feeble sound as the DIB's horrible voice!

EXT. ZIM's HOUSE- THE YARD

ZIM opens the door. DIB is still screaming, now in ZIM's face, with his head raised and his eyes closed. ZIM looks aggitated.

ZIM

ENOUGH WITH IT!! What is going on!?

DIB (DAZED)

Um... hi? Uhh... oh yeah! It's Squishy, Hugger of Worlds! He's coming to EARTH!

ZIM (FIRING UP)

What!? OH NO! I MUST STOP HIM!

SKOODGE (O.S.)

WHAT?! I'VE BEEN SAYING THAT FOR-

ZIM

Earth will be doomed! SQUISHY HAS ANNIALATED MANY PLANETS WITH HIS IMMENSE SIZE! TOOO MANY!

DIB (THOUGHTFULLY)

Okay! Now... what to do about it...

ZIM

I'm thinking the sun... lots of heat... HORRIBLE heat... painnn... Maybe we could make him... HUG THE SUN? EXCELLENT THINKING, ZIM! I'M GOING TO THE LAB TO FIND SOME SUN-HUG HELP MATERIALS NOW!

GIR randomly falls out of a gnome in front of them.

GIR

I was spyin' on you! LEMME HELP!

ZIM grabs GIR and hauls him inside as DIB looks awkward.

DIB

(locked out of the house)

Uh... okay... I'll uhh... try to help... elsewhere.

He sighes miserably and turns to go. CUT TO:

EXT. DIB's HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

Dib is still walking, miserably, towards the house garage when he stops.

DIB (GETTING CLUENESSCOME)

Wait a minute... HOW ARE WE GONNA GET SQUISHY TO HUG THE SUN!?

PROF. MEMBRANE happens to be working on the electrical fence in the yard. He turns at his son's sudden outburst.

PROF. MEMBRANE

Hello, son! Who's Squishy? Another little friend of yours?

DIB

Uhhh...

PROF. MEMBRANE

Well, whoever he is, I could probably be able to work out a way to get him to hug the SUN! Skool project?

DIB

Uhhh... yeah. Yeah, DAD! Any ideas?!

PROF. MEMBRANE

Well, I happen to be an ADVANCED SCIENTIST, and I also HAPPEN to hold three very powerful holo-simulators in my POCKET!

DIB

Great! Can I borrow them?

PROF. MEMBRANE

They are EXTREMELY DANGEROUS, so... OF COOOURRSE!

Membrane hands them over and turns back to his fence. Dib grunts happily and runs into the garage.

INT. DIB's GARAGE

Dib attaches the thingies to the front of the ship by just snapping them to the bottom/front easily. ONE ON EACH SIDE. The third one, Dib tosses out into the road from inside the garage.

DIB

I'll activate THAT ONE once we're in a safer place, LIKE SPACE... THAT's SAFE! THIS JUST MIGHT WORK.

INT. ZIM's HOUSE - THE HANGER

ZIM is now by the Voot, preparing to get in. In the corner of the room is SMALL WHITE POD.

SKOODGE

HEY! THAT POD could help us!

He points to it.

ZIM

Ah, yes. I COULD use that new space launching pod to throw a BOMB into Squishy. What a brillant idea!

Skoodge looks proud that he had finally impressed ZIM. ZIM realizes he had complemented someone, though.

ZIM (DIRECTING IT AT HIMSELF)

Yes, a very good idea... ZIM.

Skoodge sighes. ZIM reaches his PAK and pulls out a bomb.

SKOODGE

Wa-- is that a bomb--? WHY do you keep A BOMB in your PAK!?

ZIM

Huh? Oh this little thing. I dunno. I like having a bomb on my back... it's powerful-like. NOW BACK TO BUSINESS! If we DO shoot this into SQUISHY with the pod, it would definately need a pilot.

He looks at Skoodge. SKOODGE eyes behind him, PRAYING that someone was there, ready to pilot the pod. There wasn't.

SKOODGE

O-oh no.

(ZIM grabs him and stuffs him in the pod door)

So, what? You just gonna launch me into space? JUST LIKE THAT?!

ZIM (ENTHUSIATICALLY)

Yes!

ZIM quickly grabs the bomb and throws it into SKOODGE's lap. He closes the pod door. SKOODGE screams and BEATS on the pod window.

SKOODGE (MUFFLED)

LEMME OUT! COME ON, ZIM! YOU WOULDN'T- (extended dialog)

He presses a button on a remote in his hand. The CEILING of the hanger opens as the pod SMOKES immensely. The POD then shoots out of the hanger and away. ZIM stands up, having ducked behind some equipment.

ZIM

INCREDIBLE! Now, SQUISHY! Let's watch what you get when you try to hug ZIM's PLANET!

A screen lowers from the ceiling. It shows different angles of SKOODGE in the pod. Squishy, dancing to EARTH, comes into the shot. It is about thirty feet from destroying SQUISHY, when it explodes, missing him completly. ZIM watches intently still, apparently waiting for the pod to piece back together and continue on with its task. He blinks.

ZIM

Hmm... it seems I have forgotten to set the bomb's TIMER! Oh well. That plan could have used some improvement anyhow... SKOODGE IS A HORRIBLE PILOT!

INT. THE MASSIVE

RED and PURPLE share cotten candy.

RED

So... approximate time of arrival to EARTH, CAPTAIN JIGGY?

CAPTAIN JIGGY (BORED)

I don't know... an hour, I guess...

PURPLE

Come on, that's not a good answer!

EXT. THE MASSIVE

The nearest ship is blown up by a laser on the Massive front.

INT. THE MASSIVE

CAPTAIN JIGGY is still onscreen, grimacing.

PURPLE

WRONG SHIP! Who's aiming these guns, anyhow?!

RANDOM OFFICER

Me. Sorry.

Guards rush in and drag him off, struggling.

PURPLE

Man, I love our parts in the Empire... so helpful.

RED nods.

INT. ZIM's HOUSE - THE HANGER

ZIM stands with GIR now.

ZIM

Well... I'll have to work with what else I might have. GIR? ... listen, do you still have that evaporating ray that broke and turned out to be more of a shrinking ray insted?

GIR

Always do.

He pulls it out of his belly compartment, handing it to ZIM.

ZIM

GREAT, GIR! Now, with this thing, I will simply SHRINK SQUISHY! I only hope it's powerful enough!

ZIM props the ray on the side of the Voot and faces it upwards, facing the SKY. The ray is BLUE, that shoots out and into the SKY. CUT TO: SPACE.

The DIBSHIP races OVER THE SPEED LIMIT towards the sun. It slowly gets closer. PAN towads SQUISHY SPACE. Squishy wiggles his BOOT-AY as he moves now. The ducks jig along. CUT TO:

INT. DIBSHIP COCKPIT.

DIB

YES! I'm nearly there! Your pathetic squishful squishy days are almost over, Squishy... alright, that was pretty corny...

EXT. THE DIBSHIP

As the ship comes closer to the sun, the paint on the ship begins sweating and pealing. CUT TO:

INT. THE DIBSHIP

Dib is sweating and pealing as well.

DIB

Oh man, is it HOT! They're not kidding when they say that the sun is hot! Right here will have to do.

DIB pulls the ship around, now facing space. He taps a button on the SHIP DASH and a holographic, life-sized version of EARTH beams out in front of the ship from the holo-thingies.

DIB

YES! Now, to activate the one on EARTH!

INT. EARTH's SURFACE - DIB's HOUSE

The holo-thingy on the ground in front of Dib's house lights up and shakes before beaming out a holographic line of light.

EXT. PLANET EARTH

EARTH is EARTH. Finally, the beam from the holo-thingy comes out and forms a life-sized SUN, covering EARTH completely.

INT. THE DIBSHIP

DIB

YES, SUCCESS! It's only a matter of time now... soon, SQUISHY will hug the sun. It's a good thing that- what the -?

SQUISHY, who is funking towards DIB at a slow speed, is hit with ZIM's shrinky ray thingy.

EXT. SQUISHY SPACE

SQUISHY looks down at it and scratches.

SQUISHY

Ooo! Ooo! It tickles!

He giggles girlishly, wiggling. The ducks stare, annoyed. SUDDENLY, SQUISHY BEGINS to GROW at a RAPID SPEED.

INT. ZIM's HOUSE- THE LAB

ZIM is watching this happen on his POD screen.

ZIM

HOLY BAGELS OF THE IRKEN ELITE! IT APPEARS that the evaporating ray that was broken and turned out to be more of a shrinking ray insted, is INDEED a GROWING RAY!

GIR

This plot is complicated.

ZIM

NOW WHAT DO I DO?! MY ZIMNESS IS FAILING ME!

(he falls to his knees, dramatically)

ZIMNESS! DON'T LEAVE ME! I NEED YOU TO LIIIVE!

COMPUTER

Uh... master... I don't mean to interrupt, but... SQUISHY's COURSE HAS CHANGED!

ZIM

HUH? LEMME SEE!

(the screen comes back with SQUISHY, skipping through space towards... uhh... THATA WAY. The picture is slighty fuzzed with yellow)

That's holographic fuzz, that is. What's GOING ON HERE?!

EXT. SQUISHY SPACE

Squishy bobs along. The ducks, too. They are right by EARTH/SUN.

SQUISHY

What? Why is we a'headed towards a sun? Come on, ducks. Let's spread some LOVIN' to that blue planet we was headed towards in the first place over there, but has oddly traded spots wit this sun.

The ducks nod, quaking conclusively.

INT. ZIM's HOUSE - THE LAB

ZIM

WELL! TODAY was effective! We've pointed SQUISHY from EARTH and saved our enemies from a untimely doom again. Let's go enjoy our victory in front of the television.

GIR (GLEEFUL)

Alright then... if you say so.

INT. THE DIBSHIP

DIB watches SQUISHY moon-jigging towards DIB. DIB looks pleased.

DIB

There. That gargantuane is too slow for TAK's SHIP. As soon as he gets too close, I'll move.

EXT. SQUISHY SPACE

Squishy turns to the ducks.

SQUISHY

HEY! You knows what I's just remembered, ducks?? I's gots some surprisingly fast and strong, though quite time-limated SPEED BOOSTERS on my PAK!

The ducks peep and grab onto the spikes on SQUISHY's leg as the jets on Squishy's PAK burst to life even more. SQUISHY suddenly hurtles towards DIB. Fast. REALLY FAST. CUT TO:

INT. THE DIBSHIP

DIB

Hey, what's he doing- WHAT THE-

DIB pulls on a control lever. The ship spins around, a little ways, fighting with the pressure of the holographics in front. SQUISHY suddenly bombards to a halt in front of DIB-SUN-EARTH. SQUISHY leans forward.

EXT. SPACE

SQUISHY tilts forward, preparing to HUG. But his arms grapple through the hologram and he TRIPS through it. He screams as the ducks de-attach. He FALLS... HEADFIRST... into the now-visible sun. SIZZLE.

INT. THE DIBSHIP

Dib turns the ship around. He wipes sweat from his head.

DIB

Boy, was THAT close-huh?

But a screen on the dash PROVES that his troubles aren't over just yet. The MASSIVE is approaching. Dib screams.

DIB

THE MASSIVE?! But... but... NO! THEY MUST BE COMING TO CLAIM EARTH... OR SOMETHING!

DIB panicks and looks for help on the dash.

INT. THE MASSIVE

The Tallest stare through the main-view screen... it turns out that, from thier view, the sun is still covered, STILL looking like EARTH.

PURPLE
Oooh, LOOK! There's EARTH! Let's BLOW IT UP!

RED

That's not even the plan!

PURPLE

Yeah, but I like to change the plot at the last minute just to shake the show up a bit.

Silence.

RED

WhAt!?

EXT. SPACE

The Massive gains speed towards DIB-EARTH.

INT. THE DIBSHIP

Dib is jamming his finger on a blue button. Nothing is happening. DIB gets FLUSTERED.

DIB (PANICKING)

COME ON, HOLOTHINGS! TURN OFF! Why aren't they...THE CONTROLS ARE JAMMED! OH NO!

Dib pulls on the control wheel and turns the ship left a ways. The MASSIVE fires up a laser. It CHARGEs.

INT. THE MASSIVE

The Tallest are staring at EARTH flying all over the place.

RED
Wow. That Earth is one AGILEY QUICK PLANET!

INT. THE DIBSHIP

DIB's DASHBOARD has a flashing button.

DIB

HEY! An AUTOPILOT BUTTON! Why didn't I ever notice that?

He pushes it. The ship jerks and begins steering around.

DIB

AUTO-PILOT ACTIVATED!! Now... to get those things off...

Dib jabs another button and the windshield opens for him. He begins to crawl out as the ship jerks, dodging a jet of doom from the MASSIVE, nearly throwing Dib out into space. Dib, falling forward, grab the holothingies by luck. Looking thrilled, Dib holds onto the side of the ship and tosses the holothings into space. The space ducks catch them.

INT. THE MASSIVE

The Tallest watch as EARTH flys from the DIBSHIP to the SPACE DUCKs.

EXT. THE MASSIVE

The SPACE DUCKS quake in confusion as the MASSIVE's LASER HITS them. Feathers fill space.

INT. THE MASSIVE

PURPLE (CONCLUSIVE)

There.

RED

Fine, Jiggy. Let's go on with being destructive.

EXT. ZIM's HOUSE - LATER

ZIM and Dib stand. They look proud.

ZIM (CONTENT)

Well. I stopped Squishy.

DIB

Whaddaya mean YOU stopped SQUISHY? What did YOU do?

ZIM (JOLLY)

Heh, heh, heh... Dib... my ways are much too complicated for you to simply COMPREHEND.

Dib looks mad now when a green, black and red blur shoots out of the sky and HITS ZIM, so hard that a smoking crater forms in ZIM's YARD. Dib looks cautiously down the hole, then backs up, looking joyful and pleased.

ZIM (O.S.)

SKOOOOODGE!

SKOODGE (WEAKLY O.S)

... sorry ...

Dib puts his hands in his pockets, and, whistling, leaves. CUT TO:

SPACE OUTSIDE THE SUN

SQUISHY is burnt and black, eating a large PAK-SIZED sandwich as he skips through space from the other side of the sun.

END.