Disclaimer: Yes, I own Zelgadis. I keep him in a little box in my closet. If you believe me, you are way more gullible than anyone I have ever met. I don't really own any Slayers characters, so stop thinking about suing me! I said STOP! Good, that's better. I don't have any money anyway.

Author's notes: I couldn't resist writing this, today being Valentine's Day and all. Basically, this is the Slayers characters in a parody (actually a fairly close copy) of my school on Valentine's Day. This fic was really fun to write because I got to write a Slayers fanfic while making fun of my school at the same time! ^^ By the way, Zelgadis has my class schedule in here.... even though he really only goes to two classes, but oh well. I just had to make fun of my math class. Yes my teacher is really like that. She doesn't particularly care whether we pay attention or not. Hence why most of my recent fanfics have been written in math class. I really like the way this fic turned out. I tend to stay away from AU, but in this case it actually worked. I think I actually managed to keep them all in character. ^^ I hope you people enjoy reading this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it!

P.S. I don't hate my school. I just was enjoying making fun of the stuff that does annoy me. ^^

Valentine's Day

by Kiko Tomodachi

It was the end of a boring English class. Zelgadis was counting down the minutes until the morning announcements started. Five more seconds and he would be free from the torture of reviewing the previous night's busywork assignment. Three... two... one. The hum of the loud speaker filled the air. It was a welcome sound.

"Hello everyone, today is Thursday, February 14th. As we begin another day, let up pause for a moment of silent reflection."

As he waited for the moment of silence to end, he wondered briefly what one could possibly reflect on at 9:00 in the morning. The announcements resumed.

"It's Valentine's Day! Flowers will be sold in the cafeteria during all lunches. Show your crush you really care! In other news..."

Valentine's Day... Zelgadis almost cringed at the thought. It made him feel just a little pathetic--a high school senior with no one to give a flower to on Valentine's Day. He didn't take much stock in things like that, but still... Well, there was one girl he had a small crush on. Okay, not so small of a crush. Of course, she was a freshman. He could never admit he liked her. Not unless he wanted to be ridiculed for probably the whole rest of the year. And that was definitely not what Zelgadis wanted. He sighed. Somehow he always ended up being the odd one. His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the bell ringing. He quickly shoved his books in his backpack and scrambled to get to his next class on time. Getting there would have been easier if not for the 30 or so pounds of his backpack weighing him down. Why did textbooks have to be so heavy?

He staggered through the doors of his math class and flopped into his seat. The orange-haired sophomore that occupied the seat next to him greeted him.

"Hi Zel, what's up?"

"The ceiling." he replied sarcastically.

"Having a bad day, huh?"

"It's Valentine's Day. I have to see the whole school acting sickeningly lovey-dovey. It's more than just a bad day. It's torture!"

"No one to share the stupidity with, right?"

His face twisted into a half-embarrassed, half-shocked expression. This girl was way too smart.

"How did you know?"

"Well, it's pretty obvious."

"Lina..." Sometimes she really got on his nerves. The late bell rang. The seat on the other side of Zelgadis was still empty.

"Guess he's going to be late... as usual."

Sure enough, the blonde junior came through the door about a minute after the bell rang.

"Gourry, you're late... again." Lina wasted no time in teasing the poor guy.

"Lina, you know I always have to be late to math! It's just the way I am."

"Yeah, I know." She smiled. Anyone who knew them knew that they were a perfect match. She shoved a pile of candy toward Gourry. With Lina and food, the amount was never small. "For you. Happy Valentine's Day." Gourry gaped at the mountain of candy on his desk.

"This is all for me?" Lina nodded. "You're the best, Lina!"

"Of course!" she exclaimed. Then she added, "I hope you got me something, too."

"Oh yeah!" he pulled a heart-shaped pin out of his backpack and handed it to Lina. She looked at the sparkly heart pin.

"Ohh pretty..."

Zelgadis had given up trying to ignore the two of them and was following the whole conversation. It didn't really matter if he paid attention to the teacher. He already understood most of what she was explaining anyway. He leaned toward Gourry.

"How did you manage to get something that nice for her?"

"Oh it came out of one of those machines where you get stuff for a quarter." Unfortunately, he had been talking loud enough for Lina to catch what he said. She shot him a death glare.

"I HEARD that!"

"...oops."

"Lina, I know it's Valentine's Day and I'm sure you have lots to talk about, but I would appreciate it if you weren't so loud." Yes, that was this teacher's way of telling a student to be quiet and pay attention. Lina nodded and she, Gourry, and Zelgadis pretended to look interested in their textbooks. Gourry sighed in relief. If the teacher hadn't stepped in just then, he would have been toast. Nothing was scarier than Lina mad. He looked up to see that she was still glaring at him.

"Don't get too relaxed."

As was said before, there was nothing more scary for Gourry than Lina mad.

Meanwhile, Zelgadis had once again given up paying attention to the class. Watching Lina and Gourry was infinitely more entertaining than listening to their oh-so-wonderful teacher explain the quadratic formula to kids that should have learned it the previous year. If they didn't catch on the year before that. Or the year before that. Somehow Zelgadis always found this class horribly disappointing.

He looked at Gourry's terrified expression and sighed. He'd been around the two of them long enough to know that scaring Gourry out of his mind was really Lina's way of flirting. Gourry, however, didn't seem to have caught on. Then again, Gourry wasn't exactly the sharpest tool in the shed. Zelgadis wondered for a second if Gourry was faking his reaction, but dismissed it. He looked genuinely horrified.

Even after all that, he couldn't help but feel slightly jealous of their relationship. Sure, it was thoroughly weird, but it was better than nothing. Not to mention the huge pile of candy on Gourry's desk was driving him crazy. He wasn't one to crave sugar, but right then he really wished somebody would give him candy--especially a certain purple-haired freshman. Valentine's Day always put him through so much torture. The bell rang and he said goodbye to his two very odd friends. He didn't have to rush this time because now he was headed for lunch. No one cared if he came to lunch late. In fact, he purposely delayed going to lunch. He didn't want to deal with certain people at his lunch table. Bracing himself for the worst, he walked into the cafeteria and sat at his usual table.

"My my, I thought you'd never get here."

Zelgadis cringed as he noticed who had just spoken. It was quite possibly the person who annoyed him the most of anyone in the entire school. He was certainly the most irritating senior.

"What? Aren't you going to say hello?" Zelgadis gritted his teeth.

"Hello, Xellos."

"Now that's better! You know, all these happy people around here were starting to get on my nerves, but now that you're here I feel much better..."

Zelgadis simply tried to ignore his purple-haired source of irritation while he ate his lunch. He had learned a long time ago that telling him to stop talking or go away was completely pointless. The weird thing was he never ate anything. It seemed that Xellos's entire purpose in life was to make Zelgadis's lunchtime miserable. And he did a good job of it. Thank goodness they didn't share any classes.

Zelgadis focused intently on his sandwich until every last crumb was gone. He actually had managed to get through most of lunch without once making eye contact with the obnoxious senior across the table. The bell to end lunch rang and Zelgadis quickly got up and walked to the cafeteria door. Xellos was going to follow, but was stopped by a tall, blonde girl. She hesitantly handed Xellos a rose. When Zelgadis reached the door he looked back to see Xellos grinning and standing next to the now very angry blonde girl. Rose petals were scattered all over the floor as well as on the girl's hair. Zelgadis turned and left the cafeteria. Either the school was filled with love/hate relationships or he just had a knack for finding them.

As he headed toward his locker, his thoughts turned back to the fact that it was Valentine's Day. He was starting to get annoyed by the fact that almost everyone was carrying either flowers or candy. He got to his locker and dropped off a few of his books. He had just closed the locker door when a piece of candy was dropped over his shoulder.

"Huh?" He turned around to see the very freshman he had been thinking about all day.

"Amelia!"

"Hello."

He glanced and the chocolate bar in his hand and then back at her.

"Thanks for the candy." he said, trying to sound less happy than he did. Amelia smiled and then replied,

"Oh I'm giving a piece of candy to everyone I know today. If I left anyone out it would be unjust." That was Amelia for you: always fair. Grabbing a few more candies out of her backpack, she added, "but in your case I'll make a slight exception." She handed him the candy and followed it up with a small kiss on the cheek. Zelgadis blushed like crazy. "Happy Valentine's Day, Zelgadis."

"Happy Valentine's Day." He smiled. Amelia glanced at her watch.

"Oh dear, I'd better hurry or I'll be late!" She ran off toward her next class. Zelgadis watched her leave and, for the first time that day, felt content. What was so bad about Valentine's Day anyway?