This story is a collaborative effort between me and my younger brother and is to be taken completely seriously.
Kirby woke up in the Mojave Wasteland. Kirby can't talk, so he probably won't say anything in this story. All he can say is "HIIIIIIIIII," and a bunch of other stupid noises, which is pretty goddamn irrelevant to the plot of this this story. Anyways, Kirby looked around to get his bearings. This desert was totally different from the Dessert Desert he knew back home. He saw a Radscorpion and knew what he must do.
He did what Kirby always does
What Kirby always has done
What Kirby always will do
Kirby looked at the beast
Took a deep breath
And swallowed it whole.
After Kirby ate it, he started to feel a little funny. Unlike normally when Kirby absorbs things, he didn't get some special power or anything. But, what he did get was radiation poisoning. But he didn't know what it was, so he chose to ignore it.
He eventually found the town of Goodsprings, wondering if someone there could tell him where he was and why he felt so funny. As Kirby got close to the town, one of the townsfolk saw him and said "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING?" and shot Kirby right in the face. Kirby was pretty resilient though and tried to fight back
But alas, he could not
And then he died.
Later that day the Player Character showed up and tried to loot his body. It was empty, so he wasted his time.
THE END