How You Remind Me Chapter 1: How You Remind Me Wrestler's POV, a wrestling fanfic

Title: How You Remind Me

Rating: PG for M/M suggested

Disclaimer: Don't own either wrestler or any thing else for that fact. I also don't own the song used that belongs to Nickleback and is "How You Remind Me". I also don't receive any money on this story. Because Hell I don't write well enough to ever do that. But at least I have fun doing it.

Author Notes: First of all for those of you who know my writings this is my first story that is not about the Brothers of Destruction. I needed a change but will be back to them soon. So please Read and Review.

How You Remind Me
** Here I am sitting on the back steps of a little house out in the middle of no where. It is a cold evening but all I have on is a black T-Shirt, a pair of faded out blue jeans with a hole in the knee and a worn pair of brown cowboy boots. I have a full bottle of Southern Comfort in my hand, which I have just uncapped. My head is down as I sit here talking to myself. The house behind me is well lit up and the sounds of the stereo can be heard coming from it. The song that he has chosen to play over and over is" How You Remind Me' by Nickleback. **

~~~ Shit here I am or should I say that here we are once again in the place that you promised me that we would never be again. Once more after some thing that I tried to do right went wrong. So once again I caused you to pick a fight with me. And once more I am sitting out in the cold with bruises on my face and body and a bottle in my hand. Once more I had to listen to you telling my how stupid and useless I am. How I could never do any thing right and never would. And then once again the punches, slaps and kicks came. And to finish the night off you once more through me out of the house without a jacket and just barely my shoes. And then of course you closed and locked me out. And once more I believed every thing that you have ever said to me. Because I know in my heart that you wouldn't lie to me or try to hurt me on purpose. And that every thing really is my fault, which I should all ready know. Or do I? ~~~

Never made it as a wise man

I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealin'

Tired of livin' like a blind man

I'm sick of sight without a sense of feeling

This is how you remind me

This is how you remind me of what I really am

This is how you remind me of what I really am

~~~ I know that I screwed things up a lot not that I do it on purpose. Like you all ways tell me that a wise man I'm not. That sometimes I should think before I do. Hell I know that you could do better then me. That without you I would be a poor man without some one to keep my life going. I also know that I should be glad to have any one at all to love me. I know that I should be grateful that some one like you would even give me the time of day. I know that I couldn't make it with out you. Or could I? ~~~

It's not like you to say sorry, I was waiting on a different story

This time I'm mistaken for handing you a heart worth breaking

I've been wrong, I've been down, been to the bottom of every bottle

These five words in my head scream "are we havin' fun yet?"

~~~ I'm so Sorry! Why is it that I am the only one to say it? Why do you make me say it even if I am the one who didn't start it? Why do I never tell you to say it? Oh yeah I guess I did and that is why I have this black eye. Why can you never say it? And every time that you don't my heart breaks a little more. I do so know that I have been wrong in my life. But I'm I wrong to want to hear you say your sorry just once? I guess in your eyes I am. So once more I am heading to the bottom of another bottle. How many bottoms have I reached? How many more do I have to go? Once more if you let me in I will say that I am sorry. And that I will do what ever it is that you want me to do to make up for this fight. Or will I? ~~~

It's not like you didn't know that

I said I love you and I swear I still do

And it must have been so bad

Cause livin' with me must have damn near killed you

This is how you remind me of what I really am

This is how you remind me of what I really am

~~~ Maybe I don't tell you enough but I love you. I can tell at times that you do want me too. I can also tell at times that you love me too. Even though there are times that you swear you don't. You tell me that living with me is suffocating you. That in some ways it is killing you and your right to be you. I know that I don't want to be the one doing that to you. But in some ways I am who I am. But Fuck me because I do so love you. Or should I? ~~

~~~ I guess just once that I wish it was you sitting out here wondering in the cold if you were going to be forgiven. I mean I hope that you are sitting in there at least thinking of me. Though as I hear you laughing at something so that you are reading or watching. So I guess that I can be sure that I'm not really on your mind now. Maybe I never am? Though you are on mine all ways. Or are you? ~~~

Never made it as a wise man

I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealin'

This is how you remind me

This is how you remind me

This is how you remind me of what I really am

This is how you remind me of what I really am

~~~ What kind of a man I'm I? Hell do I even want an answer to that question? But then I guess that you keep reminding me. So I will sit here and drink till I finish off the bottle once more. Because I know I am a Fuck Up. I still don't know how it is that even though I am bigger then you I am all ways the one hiding the bruises and out in the cold? Shit whom the hell am I trying to kid. Yes I do because I can't hit you back not once in the three years that we have been together. Not since I helped you to start your career. Nor could I ever hit you. Or would I? ~~~

~~~ Well I know that it is getting late for even a dummy like me can tell just by the fact that I have now empty the whole fifth of Southern Comfort. I guess you are right I never was too smart and never would be. I never was able to steal your heart completely though I have tried ever since that night that we had that all some Hardcore match where we beat the hell out of each other for the belt. Or better yet so that we could pin each other's bodies down on the mat. The thrill it sent through us both was what made us decide to take our flirtations to the next level. It was then that you told me that we would have nothing but fun. That if it wasn't fun then we could just leaves it and walk away. Maybe that is what I should do. Or can I? ~~~

** As I sits there I can hears the back door unlock and open. I glance up to the doorway to see that Raven is standing in the doorway looking down at me with his arms crossed. I sit there for a few seconds till Raven clears his throat. I then stand up and looks him straight in the eyes. I see him flinch as he is looking down at me. So besides from the black eye that I know I have I must look just wonderful. I guess that I am glad that the bottle that I have trashed is helping me not to feel the pain. But something tells me that I will be feeling it in the morning. I know that I have two choices. One to keep living the life I have been living by walking back up those stairs and back into Ravens arms and bed. Or two to turn back around and to walk out of this yard and out of Raven's life once and for all with out ever looking back. Which to do? Hell which can I do? **

~~~ These five words in my head scream "are we havin' fun yet?" ~~~

Author Note: Hope that you like it and that you will take the time to Review. I also hope that Raven was a surprise for you all being I have never written one about him. But have been reading a lot of what is out there on him. Oh and I know that I didn't say who the other wrestler was but I will in Ravens chapter which will be next if any one thinks that I should write it.

Thanks,

Cat Lea

Takersdarkone@msn.com