Prepare.
To be scared.
Out of your wits.
Really bad.
Where the heck is that title?
Oh I found it!
STAR WARS VS STAR TREK
Disclaimer: Guess.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 1: Picard and Hair
Stardate: 73416616160327261266135161264626462126462462
616216.2. I have just discovered my baldness. WHAT HAPPENED?
I WAS SO PRETTY! I'M BECOMING DISGRUNTLED! YES!
I FINALLY USED A WORD LONGER THAN MY NAME!
Oh well.
Anyway, we're going to Earth to get me a wig. I want hair.
(The captain goes onto the bridge)
(He trips)
Riker: Ha!
Picard: Shut up. Or I will unleash the power of: The Force.
Riker: What?
Picard: I don't know. Just shut up.
Riker: OK.
Troy: I'm picking up strange feelings from somewhere on the
ship, captain.
Picard: No! I wonder why! I'm going to bring the warning level
up to code red, like I always do, ignoring the facts that "all
men to your battle stations" is pointless cause the guns point
outside, and there are hundreds of people on the ship, and I'm
going to launch into a long philosophical debate with myself
about nothing!
Riker: That is some serious stuff, captain.
Picard: The force, Riker.
Meanwhile on the other side of the galaxy,
Luke: Ha! I killed you, Vader!
Vader: But Luke! I am your...
(A portal opens up, sucking everyone down...
down...
down...)
(Cue music DUN DUN DUN DUN)
Ugly Curly Haired Irish Guy On Enterprise: Strange readings,
captain.
Picard: Shut up, UCHIGOE.
U.C.H.I.G.O.E.: Someone is hailing us.
Picard: Never mind! I WANT MY WIG!
(The noise DUN DUN DUN DUN crosses the galaxy and hits the enter-
prise).
UCHIGOE: What the heck?
Picard: THE FORCE!
UCHIGOE: WE ARE HEADING DIRECTLY FOR ANOTHER SHIP!
Picard: (mutters something under his breath involving words I
will not mention) SHUT UP! YOU DONT EVEN HAVE A FIRST OR LAST
NAME! I HAVE 2 FIRST NAMES, A LAST NAME, AND AN EXTENSIVE BACK-
GROUND!
Troi: Actually, this takes place early in the show, before Generations,
which described most of your past. So...if we hadn't had this con
versation, you would be with Whoopie Goldberg right now.
Picard: SHUT UP Mrs. I ONLY HAVE A FIRST NAME AND A VERY THIN BACKSTORY
ABOUT MY MIX-AND-MATCH PARENTS!
Troi: But I think Whoopie is coming to attack you because she
didn't get her part! And...she has god powers, resulting from her
playing God in The Muppets Christmas! So, she could change the course
of history! Be AFWAID! BE VERY AFRAID!
Picard: WHAT CAN SHE DO TO ME? I HAVE THE ABILITY TO INVENT REALLY LONG
IMAGINARY STARDATES BEFORE MY PERSONAL JOURNAL! MUA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!!
UCHIGOE: Oh no.
(Picard uses the force to make lightning hit the ship)
PICARD: MUAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAA!
A/N More is coming.
Be afwaid.
I mean afraid.
To be scared.
Out of your wits.
Really bad.
Where the heck is that title?
Oh I found it!
STAR WARS VS STAR TREK
Disclaimer: Guess.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 1: Picard and Hair
Stardate: 73416616160327261266135161264626462126462462
616216.2. I have just discovered my baldness. WHAT HAPPENED?
I WAS SO PRETTY! I'M BECOMING DISGRUNTLED! YES!
I FINALLY USED A WORD LONGER THAN MY NAME!
Oh well.
Anyway, we're going to Earth to get me a wig. I want hair.
(The captain goes onto the bridge)
(He trips)
Riker: Ha!
Picard: Shut up. Or I will unleash the power of: The Force.
Riker: What?
Picard: I don't know. Just shut up.
Riker: OK.
Troy: I'm picking up strange feelings from somewhere on the
ship, captain.
Picard: No! I wonder why! I'm going to bring the warning level
up to code red, like I always do, ignoring the facts that "all
men to your battle stations" is pointless cause the guns point
outside, and there are hundreds of people on the ship, and I'm
going to launch into a long philosophical debate with myself
about nothing!
Riker: That is some serious stuff, captain.
Picard: The force, Riker.
Meanwhile on the other side of the galaxy,
Luke: Ha! I killed you, Vader!
Vader: But Luke! I am your...
(A portal opens up, sucking everyone down...
down...
down...)
(Cue music DUN DUN DUN DUN)
Ugly Curly Haired Irish Guy On Enterprise: Strange readings,
captain.
Picard: Shut up, UCHIGOE.
U.C.H.I.G.O.E.: Someone is hailing us.
Picard: Never mind! I WANT MY WIG!
(The noise DUN DUN DUN DUN crosses the galaxy and hits the enter-
prise).
UCHIGOE: What the heck?
Picard: THE FORCE!
UCHIGOE: WE ARE HEADING DIRECTLY FOR ANOTHER SHIP!
Picard: (mutters something under his breath involving words I
will not mention) SHUT UP! YOU DONT EVEN HAVE A FIRST OR LAST
NAME! I HAVE 2 FIRST NAMES, A LAST NAME, AND AN EXTENSIVE BACK-
GROUND!
Troi: Actually, this takes place early in the show, before Generations,
which described most of your past. So...if we hadn't had this con
versation, you would be with Whoopie Goldberg right now.
Picard: SHUT UP Mrs. I ONLY HAVE A FIRST NAME AND A VERY THIN BACKSTORY
ABOUT MY MIX-AND-MATCH PARENTS!
Troi: But I think Whoopie is coming to attack you because she
didn't get her part! And...she has god powers, resulting from her
playing God in The Muppets Christmas! So, she could change the course
of history! Be AFWAID! BE VERY AFRAID!
Picard: WHAT CAN SHE DO TO ME? I HAVE THE ABILITY TO INVENT REALLY LONG
IMAGINARY STARDATES BEFORE MY PERSONAL JOURNAL! MUA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!!
UCHIGOE: Oh no.
(Picard uses the force to make lightning hit the ship)
PICARD: MUAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAA!
A/N More is coming.
Be afwaid.
I mean afraid.