Akane didn't even know why she came here.
Probably societal convention, common courtesy, the fact that she couldn't turn down some invitation without being asked "why?"
Because she knew both the bride and groom personally. Because if she didn't show up, everyone would say she was bitter, spiteful, jealous, God knows what else. They wouldn't stop talking about it, her mother would start calling to yell at her, her friend would demand to know why she had missed her special day…
Akane fished out a cigarette and lit it, taking a long drag as she stood outside the restaurant. 'I shouldn't have even bothered,' she thought, bitterly.
She shouldn't have, either. For as much presence as she actually had, it was very well as if she hadn't gone. She'd gone in, sat near the back where she was directed. (Some best friend, couldn't even get her a closer seat.) Waited quietly during the whole service, and then when it was time for everyone to offer their congratulations, Aoi had just squeezed her hand for exactly one second and offered the same mechanical "thanks" she gave the extended family. And Daiki had just smiled stiffly and said nothing.
The bastard probably still blamed her for his drinking. Well, it wasn't her damned fault he couldn't handle rejection. Wasn't her fault that he couldn't wait just a few goddamn months to propose again, couldn't stand the thought that a woman would want to focus on her damn job instead of man. Wasn't her goddamn fault his response had been to dump her ass and then hit a bottle and—
Aken swore under her breath as she suddenly realized she'd burned her way through the cigarette already. Damn, she hadn't even been able to enjoy that one! She took a few deep breaths, counted backwards from ten, and lit another one. Swore to savor this one.
"Akane, didn't you quit yet?" Aoi's soft voice cut through the air; Akane hadn't even noticed she was here. She turned to look at Aoi, tucking a bit of slightly-shaggy black hair behind her ears, flashed a brief smile.
"Nah. It's not as easy as you think, Aoi."
Aoi wrinkled her nose. "Ugh, but it's such a disgusting habit! You should quit, Akane, you'll live a lot longer! And Daiki managed to quit his drinking, so—"
Akane didn't hear what else Aoi said after that. She clenched her hand into a fist inside her jacket pocket, resisted the urge to grind her teeth and gnash up her precious smoke-stick. 'Well, I'm fucking not Daiki,' she wanted to say.'And if you're so damn desperate for me to quit, why don't you get me a man to save me with the damn 'power of love' or whatever you two said it was when he left the hospital?!' She snapped back to attention when she noticed Aoi was nearly finished.
"Well, anyway, Daiki and I were wondering if you're coming back in. It's almost time for dessert!"
Akane twisted her mouth in distaste. That meant more cake-shoving, great. "No, I don't think so. I'm trying to watch my weight," a lie, "and I gotta get up early for work tomorrow."
"Geez, you scheduled work right after?" Aoi sighed, crossing her arms under her breasts. "You really need to quit that too—get out of the office, hit the town with me and the girls like before! I can leave Daiki at home; just 'cause we're married now doesn't mean we're linked at the hip!"
'You may as well have been earlier,' Akane wanted to say again. She swallowed it back with another inhale of the cigarette.
"And Daiki's got a cute brother, so—" Aoi stopped just then, likely sensing Akane's mood. She sighed once more, squared her shoulders. "Well, email me tomorrow, 'kay? I'll come by after work to give you some leftovers."
"Sure."
There was an awkward silence. Finally, the door opened slightly, and another girl stuck her head out. "Hey, Aoi, come on, the cake's here! And it's gonna rain; you don't wanna ruin your dress."
"Oh, just a sec. Well, bye-bye, Akane!" Aoi smiled, waved at Akane as she slipped back in.
Akane's own wave was halfhearted as she moved off to the side, away from the window. As the door swung shut, she exhaled a mouthful of smoke, and leaned against the brick wall of the restaurant. A few seconds later, it started to rain, quickly drenching everything. "Yeah, thanks," Akane grumbled, sending a dirty look at the clouds overhead. "I needed rain today; just make it the cherry on top of a shitty day."
…what was she even doing? It couldn't be helped, it wasn't anyone's fault it was like this for her. She'd fucked up her own life, hadn't she? Everyone had said so, no matter how she'd said she'd never asked for Daiki to break up with her, no matter how she'd tried to make things better for herself. She never asked for Daiki to just sneer at her when she asked him to take her back, snap that she'd made her choice already and refused to listen when she pleaded, bargained.
She never asked for any of it.
Akane tilted her head back and closed her eyes, letting her hand fall limply to her side, cig dropping from her limp fingers to hit the wet pavement.
"Excuse me, miss?"
She opened her eyes, looked in front of her. When had the cab gotten here?
"You need a ride? Weather's getting' pretty bad out there, and you can't walk home in the rain; especially not a pretty young thing like you."
Akane snorted as she stepped forward, opened the passenger door and slid onto the seats. "Thanks for the compliment, but you're a few years off."
"Aw, really? Well, how old are ya?"
Akane smirked faintly. "Ladies never tell their age."
"Fine, fine," the driver laughed. Weird, try as she might, Akane couldn't manage to see him. It was too dark in here. "Was worth a shot. Well, humor me; lemme call ya 'young.'"
"Fine by me…"
"You live in this town?"
"No. Next town over." Akane settled in her seat, leaned her head against the window as the cab glided through the streets. Vaguely, she thought she should tell him where she needed to be dropped off, but today was just so stressful for her, and she felt exhausted…
"Miss?"
"Huh?" Akane startled back to full awareness. "I'm sorry, what?"
"I said if you want, I know a place you can stay for the night. It'd be pretty expensive for me to take ya the whole way home, and ya seem pretty tired…Whaddaya say?"
'A place to stay…' That meant a hotel or an inn. Well, Akane guessed that was fine. She was too tired, mainly emotionally, to care or argue otherwise. "Yeah. Sure. Wake me when we get there." Akane leaned against the window again, eyes sliding shut, the paper rose on her breast pocket (a gift from the bride and groom; everyone attending had received one) rustling a bit with her movements.
She barely heard what the driver said next, and honestly she couldn't bring herself to care.
"I think you'll be just fine there."