I have made massive edits in order to keep this semi in-line with AOU, but it's still AU in one of the characters Natasha runs into.

Again, I own none of this and make no money from it. That's Disney's job, and this year they're going to make a killing.

~Natasha POV~

**2:30am, Avengers Facility**

I woke out of a dead sleep. I became aware of two things. There was music softly playing, and if I moved, I was going to be sick. I took a few deep breathes, willing the nausea to pass. It didn't work.

I bolted out of bed and into my bathroom, just making it to the toilet.

I stood up and flushed the toilet. As I went to wash my hands, I asked;

"Why was there music playing, FRIDAY?"

"I monitor your vitals, and when you appear to be having nightmares, I play soothing music softly. It reduces the severity by approximately 70% most nights."

Huh, I thought to myself. Funny how Stark could create an AI who was a more thoughtful person than Tony himself.

I was suddenly overcome by another wave of nausea.

"You should consider reducing your stress levels." FRIDAY went on talking, but I could barely hear her over my vomiting.

"—Woman in your condition." She finished.

"What condition is that? Having a terrible case of the stomach flu? Being one of the most deadly assassins in the world? Living in the same building as Maximoff?" I asked snarky, angry that my body wouldn't bend to my will. I leaned back against the wall, not wanting to stand.

"Pregnant, Agent Romanoff." she stated

"So sorry, you just glitched there, FRIDAY. You just tried to tell me that I'm pregnant when A: I haven't had sex in several months, and B: What the Red Room did to me rendered me sterile. I can't get pregnant."

"You and Captain Rogers engaged in intercourse seven weeks, three days, twenty hours and –"

"Steve and I? Now I know you have a glitch FRIDAY."

"I am running at optimal efficiency, Agent Romanoff. I can play back the night in question, if you'd like."

My mirror turned into a screen, and playing on screen was Rogers and I grinding like teenagers at a high school dance. That's when we started to take off our clothes. I recognized my dress as the one I wore at the farewell party we had before Tony, Thor and Clint left. I remembered that Steve had gotten drunk on the Asgardian Ale that Thor had brought. As I watched, things got hotter and hotter until even I blushed and turned away.

"Okay FRIDAY, I believe you about that part. How do you know that I'm pregnant?" I asked, trying to wrap my head around having taken Roger's V card. I didn't think I could respond like that to anyone, as depressed as I felt from Banner bailing on me. But it wasn't like Steve was hard on the eyes, and he was always a gentleman.

"Increased cardiac output and respiratory rate, your parathyroid gland has increased in size, your body temperature is elevated 1.458 degrees above normal, and you also have elevated estrogen, progesterone and HGH levels. All symptoms consistent with pregnancy. There is also this."

My screen changed again, showing an ultrasound image.

"Are you doing this right now?" I asked, somewhere between terror and awe

"Yes, this is in real-time."

"Thank you FRIDAY." I stood up and rinsed out my mouth, and got dressed, knowing I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep tonight.

" Говно*, what am I going to do?" I whispered to myself.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

I walked out to the elevator, suddenly wanting to watch the sun rise from the wall of windows on the top floor. It opened to reveal the person I wanted to see the least. Steve Rogers.

"Morning, Natasha. Got a secret mission?" He asked me as I stepped in.

"Nah, just trouble sleeping. Figured I'd watch the sun rise from up top. You?"

I wondered how I could ever tell him. Should I just blurt it out? No, I'd just keep this to myself... for now.

"I'm just going to the training level to burn off a little energy. Although watching the sunrise sounds like a good idea." The elevator slowed and stopped at another floor, opening to reveal a SHIELD agent. I think her name was Simmons. I remembered seeing her on the medical level. She had curly brown hair and looked like she was perpetually cheery.

"I'm not interrupting, am I? I can just wait for the next one." she asked. This was good. I would need to talk to a doctor at some point.

"Not at all," I told her, stepping back to make more room for her. "Are you a doctor, or just a tech?"

She flushed and looked at the wall above my head. "Oh, I'm a bio chemist. My partner, Fitz, he's an engineer, but I have the medical knowledge." She looked down wistfully for a moment.

"Are you on your way to the lab or to bed, Agent… Simmons, right?" I asked.

"Oh, yes, Jemma Simmons." She stuck out her hand for me and Steve to shake. "The lab. I think I'm close to a breakthrough on a project. It's really quite interesting-" I could tell that she was winding up to tell us all about it.

"If you had a bit of time, I need to talk about a health issue." I interrupted.

"You okay Nat?" Steve asked, blue eyes looking concerned.

"Nothing serious, I hope?" Simmons asked, looking me over

"No, I just have a bit of time before the sun rises, and I didn't want to mention it around the others, so I figured now is perfect." I said

"Sure, that works fine for me. I actually had some questions for you, well, both of you really. I wanted to see if I could get blood samples to be able to get some information on how your serums affect your body to see if it's similar to enhanced people."

"You have a serum too, Nat?" Steve asked, training those cerulean eyes on me. Simmons looked like she wanted to throw herself down the elevator shaft.

I closed my eyes. This wasn't how I wanted him to find out. "There were quite a few attempts to recreate yours over the years, Cap. Did you really think you and James were the only ones?" I asked bitterly.

"So you need me to come too?" Steve asked, still concerned. Simmons looked to me, and I quickly told him,

"No, this is the only time you'll get a training room to yourself. Meet me up top at 0530. We can watch the sunrise together." I told him.

"Yes," Simmons jumped in. "I can take your blood later, when I'm a little less occupied." She smiled at him, but it didn't quite reach her eyes

The next stop of the elevator was for the training level and Steve stepped out. "If your're sure. I'll see you at 0530, Nat. Agent Simmons,nice to meet you." He pointed a finger at me, "No abusing the trainee."

"I'll have you know I've been a SHIELD Agent for several years, after graduating the academy early!" Simmons sputtered. Steve held up his hands in surrender.

"See you." I told him. The elevator door shut, and we started our descent to the labs.

"FRIDAY, any recordings or information on what Agent Simmons and I discuss for the next hour and a half is to be encrypted against everyone but Agent Simmons and myself."

"Yes, Agent Romanoff. Would you like me to do the same with the one I played for you this morning, as well as this morning?" She queried.

"YES" I said emphatically. I looked to the left to see Simmons staring at me, eyebrow raised.

"It might be more serious than I led Cap to believe." I told her as the elevator opened to the laboratory floor.

*Говно means "Shit" in Russian