"Ngh…" Allen gasps in pain, pulling the blade further down his wrist. He lays his right arm over the edge of the bath, dropping the knife on the black ceramic floor. His left arm is raised into the air so Allen could see what he had done. Again. This whole thing has become a routine for him, a horrible addiction that he couldn't kick, no matter how hard he tried. He watches his blood drip from his wrist into the water, dying it red. Closing his eyes, he lets his arm drop into the water, the blood coming out easily in the water. He doesn't even remember how this whole thing started. He had heard how cutters hurt themselves because they want to control the pain, not have it inflicted on them freely and by others.
"Hey Allen, want to go to my house today?" Allen remembers a conversation he had with his friends just today at school.
"No, sorry, but I have a lot of work today. Maybe some other time." Allen smiles sadly at Lavi.
"Are you sure? Lenalee and Yu are going to be there." Lavi tries to persuade Allen in changing his mind, but it doesn't work.
"Sorry, Lavi." He blew off his friends again to cut himself. He feels really bad for it, but while he slices his skin and feels the warm, red liquid running down his hand, he feels so much better. Afterwards, he feels horrible for hurting himself, knowing that his friends would probably be disgusted about him hurting himself. He thinks that Lavi's catching on that something's wrong; he's always been observant, especially when it comes to his three friends. He barely registers the front door slamming shut and sinks deeper into the water of the tub.
"Allen! I'm back!" Cross shrugs off his coat and hat, hanging them on the hooks placed on the wall. Not getting a response, he walks up the stairs, glancing into the kitchen while walking deeper into the hallway. "Allen, where are you?" He sees a small beam of light coming from under the bathroom door and knocks on it. "Allen?" Behind the door, Allen slips further into the water, losing all feeling in his body, not hearing the frantic pounding on the door. Finally, Cross barges through the door, breaking it off the hinges and lunging forward to the tub to stop his nephew's head from going under the red water. "Allen!" He pulls him out of the tub and onto the floor, wrapping a towel around him. He looks at his scar covered arm and sees a deep cut going straight across his wrist. "God damn it!" he rips off a strip from another towel and ties it tightly around the cut. He pulls out his cell phone and calls 911 while holding the unconscious boy in his arms, his heartbeat getting slower every second.
The ambulance comes and gets Allen into the vehicle, stabilizing him. Cross rides with him, just staring at the lifeless form of his nephew, wondering why? Why did he do this to himself? How long has it been going on? Why didn't notice earlier? Before he hurt himself so badly that he had to be taken to the hospital in an ambulance. They cart him into the emergency room, forcing Cross to stay in the waiting room. He walks into the waiting room and sits on a small chair, ignoring everybody else in the room. Sitting his elbows on his knees, he folds his hands together and rests his chin on top, staring at the swirl patterns on the carpet.
Cross doesn't know how much time passes, it couldn't have been that long, but someone walks up to him, pulling him out of his depressing thoughts. "Cross?" Red hair flies around from Cross moving his head quickly to face whoever had called his name.
"Komui? What are you doing here?" The taller man notices that he's wearing a white lab coat and has a clipboard tucked under his arm. "You're a doctor here?"
"Yeah, I got transferred here since they were running low… What are you doing here?" The presumed doctor sits in the chair next to Cross, looking at him worriedly. Cross lets out a big sigh and runs a hand through his hair.
"I told you how I got custody of a kid right?" Komui nods his head, unable to forget the moment when Cross; the drunk, womanizing, bastard of a man; gained custody of a kid, that changed his whole life around. "Well, apparently, he's been cutting himself. I got home today and found him in the tub, about to go under the water." Komui stares at Cross in disbelief.
"Allen… has been cutting himself?" He remembers the boy, he's been to his house many times for Lenalee. He's polite, nice, and well-mannered. Lenalee adores him, treats him like her own brother, that's why Komui didn't identify him as a threat towards his darling Lenalee's innocence. Cross nods his head, a miserable look on his face. "Oh my God…" Komui breathes out, leaning back into his chair. After a moment of silence, Komui sits up again and looks at Cross seriously. "Do his friends know?" If Lenalee knew, it would break her heart, but she still deserves to know. Lenalee, Kanda, and Lavi all deserve to know that their best friend has been hurting himself like this, they could help him much more than any adult can.
"No, I don't think so." Came the quiet reply. Before any more could be said, the intercom comes on, asking for a Dr. Komui Lee to report to the emergency room. Komui stands up and faces his old friend before leaving.
"He will get better, Cross. If I know his three friends, and I do, then they won't rest until they've helped him." He walks away and through two heavy doors, not waiting for a reply. Cross is left alone to his thoughts again, but not for long. Another doctor comes through the same doors Komui left and walks up to the downcast man.
"Are you Cross Marian?" The doctor asks him. He has short, blond hair and a weird beret-type hat on with a tassel attached. Cross nods his head and the doctor looks a bit relieved. "Oh thank God. I thought he was another 'throw away.' Okay, we got him stabilized and sewn up. He's getting some blood transfusions and you can visit him now, if you'd like." Cross stands up and the doctor looks through the papers on his clipboard. "I'm Dr. Bak Chan, by the way, but you can just call me Bak. Come on, I'll take you to his room." They start walking down the all-too-clean hallway, pasting many other patients roaming the hall.
"What's a 'throw away'?" Cross asks as they enter an elevator, Bak pressing the third floor button.
"It's when either the parents, or the friends, of a kid find them hurt and just dump them here. It happens more then you'd like to think, unfortunately… I'm happy that Allen isn't one, he's a nice kid." A small smile comes onto Bak's face and the doors open, letting them out. They walk down the hallway in silence until they get to the room near the end of it. Bak knocks on the door and enters, out of courtesy for the patient. On the bed, Allen has his knees up to his chest and his chin placed on top, staring at the wall. "Mr. Walker, you have a visitor." Allen looks over to the door and his eyes widen at the sight of his guardian/uncle. "I'll leave you two alone, just press the call button if you need anything." Allen nods his head, not taking his eyes off of Cross. Bak leaves the room, closing the door silently.
"Hi… Cross…" Allen says, hesitating with his words. Cross says nothing and eyes the wires coming out of Allen's body, a tube filled with a clear liquid leading up to an IV filled with more of the liquid. He moves across the room and sits on the chair by the side of the bed. "Cross…? I'm sorry…" Allen says quietly, not moving from his position and not looking at him. Cross sighs deeply and places his hand on Allen's back, as a sign of comfort.
"Why did you do it, Allen?" A sob explodes from the boy's body and Cross sits on the edge of the bed, hugging him and waiting for him to answer.
"I-I just couldn't do it a-anymore! It hurt too m-much, I c-couldn't…" He is unable to continue because more sobs wrack through his body. Cross hugs him tighter, being mindful of the wires. He understood what Allen was talking about, it's the reason why he got custody of him in the first place; getting pushed into one foster home to another because of his birth-defect, getting the scar on his face from one of the foster parents, then finally finding a permanent home. It was with his own friend, Mana, that this boy had found a home in. It didn't last very long, Mana dying in a fire to save Allen's life, the shock of it turning his hair bleach-white.
"When did you start?" Cross asks once Allen had gotten control of his own voice again. He doesn't answer and Cross is about to repeat himself, but Allen opens his mouth before he had the chance.
"I-It was sometime a-after we first moved h-here." Allen breathes deeply trying to control his hiccups from lack of air. They stay like that for a while, just sitting there and taking in the silence of the room filled only with small sniffles and the beeping of the machines.
"You do know that we're going to have to tell your friends, right?" Allen visibly stiffens and looks up at Cross with wide eyes. "It's not like I really have a choice, I told Komui out in the waiting room and you know that he'll tell his sister if you don't."
"Komui's here…?" Allen relaxes a bit and stretches his legs out in front of him.
"Yeah, he said he got transferred here from the hospital across town, where he used to work." Allen nods his head, looking at his hands on his lap as Cross sits back on the chair, scooting it closer to the bed. "Do you want me to call them, or anything?"
"I… I don't know… I mean, how exactly do you tell your friends that you've been cutting yourself and was found almost dead in a bath tub by your uncle?" Allen sighs and plops back on the pillows. "…They're going to hate me…" His words are almost a whisper and if Cross wasn't listening, he wouldn't have heard them.
"They aren't going to hate you. They treat you like their family, even Tiedoll's kid. They might be sad and angry, but they'll be angry at themselves for not noticing earlier, not at you." Cross takes Allen's hand in his and Allen looks up at him with a sad gaze.
"Like you…?" Cross sighs and nods his head with a frown.
"Yes, just like me…" Allen frowns himself and brings up his arm, his black, bandaged one, and places it on top of Cross' head. He lets a small smile adorn his lips and Cross looks at him, confused.
"Don't hate yourself, if you do then it makes me feel bad." His grin gets a little bigger and Cross can't help but to smile back.
"Fine, I won't." Allen takes back his bandaged hand and his smile lights up the depressed feeling left in the room, making both of its occupants feel better. Allen's expression gets nervous and he bites on his lip.
"Hey, Cross?" He looks down at the suddenly anxious teen, raising an eyebrow, "Do you think that you could tell them for me…? I mean, you tell them and bring them here, so that I could see them?" Cross looks thoughtful for a second before nodding his head.
"If that's what you want, then sure. I'll do it tomorrow since you need your rest." Allen brightens and nods his head. He hugs Cross with his right arm, since the wires on his left can only let him go so far.
"Thank you Cross." He hugs back with a smile and releases after a moment. The door is knocked on and Bak comes through a second later.
"I'm sorry, but visiting hours are over. I need to let Mr. Walker get his rest." Cross nods his head and leaves after telling Allen goodbye. Bak goes deeper into the room and checks the monitors before taking his leave again, turning off the lights on his way out. Allen falls asleep a few minutes afterwards, feeling exhausted after today's events. He can't help but think how his friends are going to react when they see that he isn't at school tomorrow and when Cross tells them what happened.
Cross unlocks his front door and goes straight to the bathroom to clean up the blood left in there. He picks up the knife from the ground and stares at the dried blood on the blade. He puts the knife in the sink and cleans up the blood drops on the floor with some water from the tub and a rag. After rinsing out the tub with the shower head, getting rid of the red water marks, he takes the knife into his bedroom and sets it on his dresser. Cross slips off his shirt and pants, putting on a pair of sweats and getting into the bed. He falls into a dreamless sleep after a few minutes, thankful for the rest after such a long day.
.o.O.0.O.o.
This is just a small little oneshot I wanted to write. It's actually been on my computer for a while, I just haven't had the chance to post it. I might actually do a few more chapters if people are interested enough, but I'm not sure. It seems like it has good potential, so we'll see~ Anyway, thanks for reading and please review!