Disclaimer: I don't own the Gboys or Miliardo for that fact. (or Relena -- who was in parts prior to this one.) Just the plot and me good ol' friend Doctor Leigh.

Author's Note: Hmm, I was writing this part….. And sudden felt that it could in no way be put with the others (1-11). I suppose that doesn't make sense to the normal person… but I feel this part……… is different from the rest…….. Like a new starting of the story……. To me the voice sounds different…… and there's a feel to it……. That can't be felt in the beginning of the story.

I'm sorry for anyone who's just joining. (I guess this makes it hard for you --- since you were probably hoping for something short and sweet. I suppose, if you wish, you don't have to read the other parts of it……… and you could just start from here. (I can tell you right now -- the other parts have fallen into disrepair and have errors in them…… Actually I have most of the corrections….. But ff.net doesn't always like me.

Warnings: Shounen-ai, angst, OOC slightly

This story is almost completely from Duo's point of view (with the exception of Part 6~In the Mind of a Child-like Emperor)

Enjoy!!

Meet Me Half Way

2nd Shelf ~ The Three Words

Part 12~ In Comes the Bastard

Like it? Like it? Who did he think he was -- telling me what I'd like? He doesn't know me! He didn't know what I wanted! He was just a bastard -- as big as they come. A spoiled brat with far too much money; he'd been able to buy everything he wanted before -- but he wasn't going to buy me! Stupid bastard!! Who did he think he was -- kissing me!! Oh, I bet now I had AIDS or something -- my mouth felt so gross! Wait, you can't get AIDS through kissing someone…. But he had no right to presume I'd enjoy pressing my lips together with a sexy bastard. And he had the audacity to kiss me when Heero was in the room. ----------------------------------- Oh, Gods, … Heero!

"I like watching your thoughts play over your face, my dear."

I started, my mind reeling back into real time -- real life. I stared in horror at Miliardo . His reached his slender fingers out towards me to push back my hair from my face. I cringed from him.

"What do you think you're doing?" I hissed.

"Well, I think that should be obvious -- I'm seducing you." The tall platinum blonde before me gave a predatory grin.

"I don't need seducing!" I shouted angrily. The urge to slap him swelled in me -- and being rather impulsive I gave into it. My whole body went into it, but I only caused his head to snap to one side his hair swinging in slow motion -- or so it seemed to me. "I'm with Heero!"

I pushed past him, running from the room. Even if I hadn't been shaken I probably would have missed seeing the chair in front of me. As it was, I went flying head first, my face skidding against the carpet. It stung. I heard laughing behind me, but I refused to turn around as I scrambled to my feet.

"Come now, my dear, you know you don't wish to spend forever with an invalid. I'm a much better -- at everything. I can make you melt; there's no way that his bumbling touch can send that shiver down your spine."

And I did shiver -- but probably not in the way he wanted me to. I turned around ever so slowly and stood there motionlessly, staring at him. I could not begin to think of the words which I wished to speak -- no, scream -- at him. Oh, it was mighty fine that he thought he could make me melt… I'm sure he had wonderfully delicate and probably very talented hands… but I didn't want them on me. I didn't want him near me. I didn't want him to melt me, thank you very much indeed.

I was so angry -- so angry that I clinched my jaw as the lump swelled in my throat -- the lump of anger. Tears leaked from my eyes regardless, and they stung when the came in contact with the scrap on my cheek from the carpeting.

"Oh, now don't get all emotion on me, dear Maxwell," He took a step toward me, and I wished to flee -- but now was not the time. "I know very well how you feel about me. I know you can't except that right now you wish desperately to run away with me -- that you are feeling guilt for leaving the little vegetable all by himself. But that's why I'm here. I came to take you away -- even if I must utilize force -- so that you won't feel the pain of guilt in your little heart, my dear."

Oh, the way he spoke -- it was like honey. And if I had listened to it aptly -- if I hadn't been so full of vehemence -- then I might have been lulled into his very trap -- into his arms -- that while he spoke moved before him in a pretense of explaining what he said through motion … but in reality they were trying to hypnotize me. The way he stood -- it was like he was a gracious king and I a servant of his will to whom he had granted the most prized stuffings of my heart. But I was one step ahead of him this time. I wouldn't be caught in his trap, though … dimly -- in some corner of my mind I asked myself "Are you crazy? Turning this away… with all he can offer you?"

You see? He was trying to hypnotize me…. I shook my head, erasing his pretty little words, his pretty little paradise…. Because there was one thing he was wrong about… I didn't feel guilt about staying with Heero… sometimes I felt sad -- had feelings of how unfair it all was … but never guilt. It was more of an honor. And had not Heero giving me in return what I had giving to him? Love.

"He loves me. I love him." My voice was understandably shaky, but it was much more so than I thought it should have been.

Miliardo laughed then. "And what do you know of love?"

Staring into his steely eyes, I narrowed my own violet ones in determination and thought, "I don't. But this feeling…….. This feeling we share it's nothing that I could ever have with anyone else. Even now… even now, he makes me happier than I had ever thought I could be." My voice had dropped to a whisper, and my suitor had to lean forward with such grace to hear it.

He sneered. "We could share the same feeling, there is no reason for you to believe we could not share this also."

I didn't like the way his eyes draped over me.

"I don't want to feel this with you -- for you. And there is reason for me to believe that it is not possible." I was surprised at the evenness of my voice, that it didn't break. "When you walk out the door of this hospital -- you might not see a tomorrow you might plunge into a comma. And… and while I don't wish this on you -- or anyone for that matter -- I would not feel ------" I thought for a moment, my head a stream of words I could use… but I wanted the ones that would be as kind as possible, "as strongly for you as I do for Heero. I wouldn't feel the sense of extreme regret that I never said those three words. I wouldn't feel the sudden numbness throughout my body as though -- from my finger tips -- all my life had dripped out, and I hadn't even noticed. I wouldn't feel the anxiety when and if you awoke that you might reject me." I felt numb even now, remembering. Somewhere along the line the anger that had been the rage inside me had boiled over into a heaviness throughout me. I felt so weighted.

"You can't know you won't feel that way." He sniffed, raising his noise. "Unless it happens -- you won't know how you will react, my dear." He walked closer to me with an air of superiority.

"Oh, but I do." I pressed my lips together… as if that made it final and gave him a steady calculating gaze. Oh, but I do.

With that I turned -- even as he still walked toward me -- and walked away. I kept a quick pace, but not one as though I felt he was following me -- more of I had somewhere to be -- and, boy, did I ever. I was halfway down the hall from the rec room, when I slowly to a halt. I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths… but they didn't seem to help.

Oh, was it never going to get better? Was it always going to be improving to a certain point and then something would set us(1) back again?

I had a dreading of returning to the room numbered 114. I knew I'd find Heero there. I knew I'd have to talk to him… but I wasn't sure how he'd react. Would he believe me? (How exactly was I supposed to explain to him that I thought I was kissing him when I was kissing Miliardo? I mean, this was Heero we're talking about, right? Even a Heero in Rehabilitation would want to know why I didn't feel the difference.)

Well, I suppose it didn't really matter if he believe me or not… because I would have to tell him anyway. That was as they say that.

Opening my eyes again, I forced my feet into motion. One foot in front of the other, one step closer to an impending doom…one I'd just have to get over.

I will tell you one thing. Halls seem terribly long if you have to run down them to get away from evil OZ troopers -- when you really want them to end, but when you want them to go on for forever they have the nerve to be far shorter than you ever can remember.

Pushing the door open revealed that Heero had carelessly thrown himself onto the bed and was still as stone.

I crept into the room, closing the door -- which creaked loudly. He must have ignored the noise, because he didn't move. I swallowed, biting my lip and setting my shoulders. I could do this.

"Heero?" I tested the waters with a timid touch of my voice.

He didn't reply.

I stepped closer to the bed -- inching toward it. I was hoping by the time I got there he'd just pop up and grin at me jubilantly. It didn't work -- the hoping; he just lied there motionless.

"Heero?" I tried again, reaching my hand out slowly for his bare back. (The hospital had given him a girlish tank top for him to wear now, and it cut low on his chest and lower on his back, leaving it bare to the shoulder blades.)

My fingers slide against his skin -- warm and smooth -- until my palm rested in the curve beneath his should blades.

My eyes widened and a gasp ruptured my lips. Heero?!

TBC

Well, there we go. That's done with! And surprisingly I'm kinda happy with it. In all honestly this story has taken me for more twists and turns than any other thing I've been writing. I plan it one way --- and it goes another……. Then I plan again…. And, well, you get the idea.

Hope you enjoyed it.

Notes:

(1) "Us" as in Heero and Duo