''My dear Espada, please sit down and enjoy your tea,'' Aizen said, resuming his sentence when everyone had a cup. Grimmjow stared glumly at it, eyes drooping from the lack of sleep last night thanks to his insomnia.
''Grimmjow, I'm not going to start this meeting until you take a drink.'' His head snapped up, annoyance rolling through him like a stormcloud. He angrily picked up his cup, taking a drink, swallowing, then setting it back down on the table to get cold. Aizen nodded with an evil glint in his eyes, turning back to them and starting to talk about nothing in particular. All Grimmjow heard was 'Blah, blah blah. Blah, blah blah blah blah'... You get the point. The only clear thing he heard through the entire thing was 'Meeting adjourned.'
He stalked back to his room, passing out on his bed almost immediately and floating into unconsciousness.
(*)(*)(*)
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
Grimmjow groaned as his alarm clock went off. But...he didn't have an alarm clock, so what was this thing that was disrupting his sleep at such an un-Godly hour? He sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and looking around: This wasn't his room, either. It was completely gray, with a book shelf in the corner and a laptop on a desk in another. Besides that, the only other furniture was the bed he was sitting on and a couch that looked so neglected the few colors that had been in it were faded. There was also a mirror hanging on the door.
Standing up, he walked over to it and almost had a heart-attack as he saw the reflection - Ulquiorra, but his eyes were wide and disbelieving. The pale face blinked, head leaning sideways as it observed itself in the glass. Then it hit him; He was in Ulquiorra Schiffer's body.
''Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!''
~Meanwhile...~
Ulquiorra let out a deep breath as he waited for his alarm clock to sound - it wasn't unusual that he woke up before it went off. He opened his eyes, not even noticing the change in scenery.
''Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!''
What the...? That was his voice screaming; Grimmjow Jeagerjaquez, Sexta Espada, screaming? But it just didn't make sense... He never was afraid of anything, not even Death itself, nor Lord Aizen when he was upset.
He got up, and the first thing he saw in his peripheral vision was a spark of blue. Rushing over to a mirror, any mirror, he choked on air when he saw the reflection - Grimmjow was in the mirror where his face should be. He sonidoed to the throne room, feeling so revealed from the jacket that he almost went and got one from his bedroom - but he couldn't risk that. It would just be too weird to be seen running around in the Cuatro's clothing when he was apparently the Sexta for now.
He burst through the doors. Aizen looked down at him as he bowed, smirking. ''Aizen-sama, what has happened here?''
''Is that you, Ulquiorra?''
''Yes, it is.'' Thank God his voice was still the same. If it sounded like Grimmjow's, then that would be torturous.
''What the hell is going on here?!'' Speak of the devil. It was Jeagerjaquez. Ulquiorra forced himself not to look as his own hands picked him up off the ground, pulling him up into the air and shaking him until his teeth rattled. ''Why are you in my body, Schiffer?! Why?!''
''I do not know the reason!'' he said, nearly biting his tongue off in the process. With a stone-cold glare, Grimmjow dropped him, putting his hands in his pockets. Then Ulquiorra noticed something - he wasn't wearing a shirt. He was running around in his body half-nude?! No. He wouldn't stand for this.
''Put a shirt on now,'' he said, taking off his own and offering it up. Grimmjow scowled, refusing the request. Ulquiorra growled, putting the fabric back on and finding it amazingly easy to show emotion in this body, since it was used to it. His hands turned into claws out of instinct, and he now realized why Grimmjow acted as he did - it was all part of his instincts, and he couldn't control them very easily. Neither could Ulquiorra; it wasn't like his body where he could turn the anger on or off as he pleased, no, not like that at all. These primary signals were screaming for him to rip and tear, to make the enemy bleed until they succumbed to his wishes.
He calmed down, putting on his stoic expression and wondering what it looked like on Grimmjow's body. He laughed mentally at the image, but on the outside there was just a scowl which wouldn't go away, no matter how hard he tried to make it. The muscles wouldn't - couldn't - respond. They had been like that for so long, it was impossible for them to relax and sink into a thin line like his had. [A/N: Thin line? Ulquiorra, you ever heard of tweezers? XD]
Grimmjow scoffed. ''Still trying to make my eyebrows relax? Keep dreamin'.''
Ulquiorra turned to Aizen, bowing in apology and making Grimmjow snicker in response - what was so funny? ''Do you have a problem with me, Jeagerjaquez?''
Grimmjow shook his head, trying to hold back more laughter. Ulquiorra returned to the task at hand, attempting to drown out the snickers and chortles behind him without much success; Grimmjow's animal senses were too strong.
''Aizen-sama, is there any way for us to return to our designated bodies?'' he asked, trying to not sound disrespectful without much success yet again - damn that kitten inside of Grimmjow! He hated to see anyone besides him on the throne, even if it was only a mere human that couldn't do much besides hurt a fly. But a Shinigami made his insides churn with disgust.
''There is, but it takes quite a while to make the remedy. You two will just have to - '' Aizen was interrupted as Gin whispered something in his ear. Then he nodded. ''There is something we can try right now. Tousen, please go and get the vial.'' Kaname nodded, then turned and disappeared down the corridor. He was back in record time.
''The serum,'' Tousen said, handing it to Aizen and going back to his corner. Ulquiorra looked at Grimmjow with victory in his eyes.
''Ikki ikki,'' Aizen said. ''Drink up.''
He threw the vials to the awaiting Espada, watching as they drunk them and went back to their original bodies. Then the fun started.
''Erm... Ulquiorra?'' Grimmjow said. ''You're shrinking.''
And it was true - his height hadn't decreased all that much, but he was... Getting curvier, and his chest was... Oh, my God, Grimmjow thought, he's turning into a girl!
He looked at himself once, and to his relief, he was remaining the same. But poor Ulquiorra, he just couldn't catch a break, and his eyes widened as clothes magically appeared on his used-to-be bared chest. At least he wouldn't be half-naked when he changed into a girl - that would have been embarrasing for everybody. Except Grimmjow, who would have just went on like nothing had happened. He'd seen naked women before.
Then it happened - Grimmjow shrunk down two inches, and then bam - he had boobs. He screamed in annoyance as his hair grew almost as long as when he was released, but it was parted down the middle and was still spikier than ever. He looked at his chest, which was covered with his jacket, but the fabric was modifying to where it only covered what needed to be covered. It was zipped down the front to the hollow hole that warped his - cough, cough, her - stomach. In her opinion, she was pretty hot, but it was still weird to be a girl after centuries of being a guy.
Ulquiorra squeeked, looking down at his body, then at Grimmjow's. His hair was longer, too, and he was shorter than usual. His cup size was an A at the least, B at the most. But what was really alluring about him was his - her - eyes. They were still the same shade of green, but innocent and framed with eyelashes so thick that it looked like she was wearing two tons of makeup - one ton on each eye. Man, Grimmjow thought, if I was still a guy, I'd be so horny right now.
''G-G-Grimmjow? Is that you?'' she asked, her voice high-pitched yet still bearing that same monotone that was there before. Grimmjow nodded, not wanting to speak for fear of her new voice - what would it sound like? High-pitched like Ulquiorra's or low-pitched like Harribel's?
''Yeah, it's me,'' she said, surprised that her voice wasn't menacing like it usually was. Instead, it was soft, wondering, and confused. It was also a medium pitch, like a mixture between the two females mentioned earlier. It was so hard not to grab her own breast just to make sure if it was real or not, and she raised up a hand, gasping when she saw claws there. Her tongue slid across her top row of teeth, and there were canines there, too.
''Is this real?'' Ulquiorra said. Grimmjow shrugged, not even sure about all this herself.
''Uh-oh,'' Gin said from across the room. ''It seems that we've given them the wrong serum. What should we do, Lord Aizen?'' There was no answer, only muted laughter from behind them - oh, no. The Espada were there. Grimmjow knew it.
''Grimmjow? Ulquiorra? This happened to you, too?'' a high-pitched, whiny voice said from behind them. It sounded female, but they couldn't be sure until they turned around. Yep - it was Nnoitra. As a girl. Szayel was, too. The rest of them - except for Harribel, who was beaming - were laughing like there was no tomorrow.
''Aizen, what is the meaning of this?'' Grimmjow said, turning on their leader and glaring, although she had a feeling it wouldn't be as scary as when she was male. Nonetheless, Aizen turned, ready to explain. He cleared his throat.
''It appears we have made a mistake - ''
''Like hell you have!'' Grimmjow and Nnoitra yelled at the same time.
''The serum we gave you was supposed to put you back into your normal bodies, which it did, but only because you have to be in your regular body to transform into the opposite sex. Those of you who have recieved the correct serum and are not the opposite sex, you may return to your stations - all except for Harribel, who needs to stay.''
Said Espada remained as the others left, snickering all the way.
''What caused this crap to happen in the first place?'' Szayel demanded.
''Someone made a mistake with the tea last night.''
Szayel went back into the corner. Everyone that was a girl here was either A) crying - Szayel and Ulquiorra - or B) getting ready to rip something to shreds - Grimmjow and Nnoitra. Harribel was the only calm one, but that was understandable, since she wasn't forced to be her opposite sex, unlike the others here.
''How do we get back to normal?'' Ulquiorra asked calmly - the only way you could tell she was crying was from the moisture in her eyes, which made them sparkle.
''The correct vial of antidote was all used up this morning, but we will be able to make more, which will take about sixteen weeks.''
Grimmjow's eyes widened. ''SIXTEEN WEEKS?! YOU EXPECT ME TO STAY A GIRL FOR SIXTEEN WEEKS?!''
Aizen flinched at the screeching that was coming out of Grimmjow's throat. So did the others, even Harribel and Ulquiorra, the stone cold ones of the group.
''Why do I need to stay here, Lord Aizen?'' Harribel asked, crossing her arms. Aizen cleared out his throat before answering, in case of another onslaught from Grimmjow, who was now panting with rage and exhaustion.
''You need to teach these idiots how to be girls,'' he said, the word idiot bringing about another screeching festival from three of the four guy-girls. Szayel, Nnoitra, and Grimmjow were all shouting similar things, making even Gin frown from the headache they were giving them.
''SHUT UP!'' Ulquiorra screamed, making everyone in the room go silent. ''We can do this - we're still Espada, and we need to act as such.''
Grimmjow's eye twitched.
This was going to be a long four months.
(*)(*)(*)
Aw, shit, PMS time next chapter! XD Three reviews and I'll update it, otherwise, nope, zilch, zip, nofing, nadda. You people don't get anything unless you review.