Part One: 18 & Life

Song: Edge of Seventeen ~ Stevie Nicks

Leather and Lace

Chapter One:

Not So Humble Beginnings

Alderney, 2018

The cemetery was peaceful this time of day. A gentle breeze carried the scent of wisterias and morning glories through the area. The aroma brought her a moment of comfort as she knelt down in front of the grave of a man who, in life, brought her both misery and joy. Now that he was gone and had been for some time now, she often reflected on their brief time together. He was a broken and she a very flawed woman. They clicked, both understanding how harsh life could be and how unfair it all was. Both grew up in poverty, but she could argue that his life had been better than hers. His parents were far more supportive than hers ever could have been. They were two fucked up people who tried to make their lives seem somewhat normal for the sake of the only other person who mattered in their lives: their son.

It was hard to pinpoint exactly when she fell for him, but if she had to guess, she'd say it was when he'd wrapped his arms around her after one of their many hookups. He was asleep and hadn't known he'd done it, but that simple act made her heart flutter as his warmth spread to her own body. Once, she asked him when he'd fallen for her and he admitted he wasn't sure; it just happened one day.

She moved from a kneel to a sitting position, relieving the stress in her joints. Another sign she was getting old. All those years of fast living and hard partying were finally catching up to her. At thirty-eight, she spent more nights in than going out with friends. She also spent a lot of time reminiscing of her younger years, especially on days like these that reminded her of the night she made a life-changing decision.

Looking over the name etched in stone once more, she felt herself slipping back to her younger years, remembering the night she ran away and the years that followed up to her meeting the love of her life.

Johnny Klebitz

October 29, 1974 - September 17, 2013

Brothers for life, Lost forever

Madison, Liberty 1998

The clock on the wall ticked by slowly as the seniors at Madison High awaited for the final bell to ring. It was their last day of school, not only for the summer but forever. They were leaving the shallow end of adulthood and diving head-on into the deep end. Most would go away to college, while others would stay behind, get jobs, maybe go to a trade school, or marry their high school sweethearts.

For Jessie Mason, however, she wanted none of those things. Having barely passed school by the skin of her teeth, Jessie knew she would never be the college type and even if she wanted to go it didn't matter. Her parents had made it perfectly clear they couldn't afford it. It was a waste of money anyway. She had convinced herself of that long ago.

All she wanted was to hop on her motorcycle and ride off into the sunset. She wanted to head for the West Coast, and live somewhere where no one knew who she was. From what she heard, the beaches in San Andreas were nicer than the ones on the East Coast.

Jessie's pencil rapidly tapped the desk as she watched the red second hand move slowly around the clock. With each lap, it grew closer to that final minute. A second longer was a second too long for her. Since she was small she hated school. If she wasn't teased for her hair, it was the stains on her unwashed clothes or the fact sometimes she smelled because her parents couldn't pay on the water. The teachers back then could often be cruel as well. Some pulled her hair, twisted her arms, yelled in her face, or tied her in the chair. As she got older, the teachers were less abusive but still negligent except for a few who she liked.

At least she had Lester...

She thought about her boyfriend and counted down the days she'd get to see him again. Lester Arnold was a member of the Angels of Death and Jessie was crazy for him. Maybe it was too soon to have these feelings, but she couldn't help herself. With his light brown hair, dark blue eyes, a strong jawline, and those muscles how could she not fall in love? Her parents shit bricks when they found out about him, but she didn't care what they thought. Sure he looked big and scary on the outside, but really he was a teddy bear. Maybe in time, her parents would come around and like him but that was never going to happen.

Behind her, some kid was snoring. Next to her, a boy she made out with last year read an Impotent Rage comic. What a nerd, Jessie couldn't help but think.

All around her were people she never really liked. People who deemed her white trash without even bothering to try and get to know her. She once spoke with her mom about the problem, but instead of sympathy, her mom told her it was her own fault for being so unapproachable. Well after today she wouldn't have to deal with these people anymore. No more test, no more preppy cunts making remarks as she passed them in the hall, and no more parents bitching about her grades. After that final bell, it was all over.

She blew an unruly curl from her face and gave her itchy scalp a scratch. It was times like these she hated her hair the most. A hairstylist once told her that curly and frizzy hair was the itchiest.

"Oh my, God. Could you not do that while I'm next to you?" Jessie turned her head to see Amanda Jenkins, one of the "it girls", sneering at her in disgust. The girl wore a velvet-like, lime green tracksuit and her hair was light brown with frosted highlights. It was a huge contrast to Jessie's flannel clothes and ripped jeans. "You're so gross. No wonder only dirty bikers date you." Amanda added.

In response, Jessie leaned closer to the bitch and rapidly raked her nails over her scalp before flicking her hair and dandruff flakes towards Amanda. The girl frowned and turned away from Jessie.

"Ew! Future stripper."

Jessie ignored her and began to doodle on her notebook, drawing stars and little hearts with Lester's name on them.

Her eyes flicked to the clock again. Almost there.

Come on, hurry the hell up.

Tick, tick, tick… the bell rang, signaling the day was over. The teacher jerked awake and tried to get her students attention, but it was too late.

Jessie was the last out of the classroom and the first to leave school. She didn't have any friends to cling to and cry as the other girls did, but she didn't care. She couldn't understand how they could be sad when they were finally free! What idiots. They've already peaked and now it was all downhill from here on out.

The junior high wasn't far from the high school so Jessie made the short trek to the other building. It was a routine for her. Every day after school, Jessie, her sister Amber, and her sister's friend, Lily, walked home together. She thought about sticking around town a few more years for Amber's sake, but she wasn't sure if she could do it. Amber was a tough kid; She could handle herself, right? Amber was old enough to be home alone now and besides, she couldn't rely on Jessie forever. She was becoming restless.

Jessie made it to the Junior high and looked around for Amber and Lily Bedard, but the two girls were nowhere in sight. It wasn't uncommon for them to be late, but she assumed that because it was the last day of school those two would have been the first to leave the building. It wasn't exactly like they loved school.

Somewhere nearby, she heard girls chanting and taunting someone so she decided to go investigate.

"Leave her alone!" that was Amber.

Jessie noticed a crowd of eighth-grade girls surrounding Amber and Lily. As she got closer she saw Amber standing in front of Lily, shielding her from the taunts of the other children.

"What's goin' on here?" Jessie asked.

"They're picking on Lily!" Amber replied.

"She's nasty!" a girl said.

Lily's face was hidden behind her backpack and her shoulders shook as she silently cried. Jessie's eyes flicked from her to the crowd.

"Why are they picking on her?" Jessie asked Amber. Amber motioned for Jessie to lean in closer and whispered in her ear what was going on. Jessie didn't react to what she had just learned. After straightening herself, she untied the red and black plaid shirt around her waist and gave it to Amber. "Here, tie this around Lily and we'll make sure she gets home to clean up." She turned to the other girls. "What the hell are you bitches starin' at? Ain't ya got homes to go to or somethin'?" Her Broker accent always came out thick when she was angry.

The girls continued to taunt Lily while Amber helped her wrapped the shirt around her waist.

"Look the blood is everywhere!" another girl before cackling.

Jessie scowled at the others and said, "Clear out and go home before I make all of yous redheads."

The girls moved away from them, giving Lily the space she needed.

"Thank you," Lily said meekly.

"You want to go back inside and clean up? Did your mom buy you any pads or tampons?" Jessie asked.

Lily shook her head. "I didn't bring my overnight clothes because I planned on coming over later and Annette never bought me anything. She said I had another year to go before… before I started."

Annette Bedard was Lily's step-mother and a total bitch in Jessie's opinion. The woman was insane, expecting Lily to be feminine and frowned on anything the girl liked that was deemed too boyish. She bought expensive clothes and guilt-tripped her step-daughter if she so much as got a spot on her clothing.

"It's alright kid, we'll get ya home."

What was typically a thirty-minute walk felt much longer as the hot summer sun beat down on them. With Jessie in the front, the younger girls walked side by side whispering to each other. She caught little snippets here and there of what they were saying and wanted to give her two cents on their gossip. However, she chose to stay out of it. That was their business and besides, she had other things on her mind.

As they passed rows of cornfields and cow pastures along the dirt road they had walked so many times, Jessie's mind began to wander as it always did. She thought of the party she would be going to later that night and hoped her best friend, Stacey Bowers, wouldn't invite Jared Anderson.

Jessie used to think he was cool, but as she got to know him, she thought he was creepy. There was something off in his eyes and sometimes she thought she heard him muttering to himself. All she really knew about him was that he came from a rural town in Alderney and after a few run-ins with the law there, he moved to Liberty. He talked about hitting his little sister until she cried and laughed about it. One day he asked her if she liked cats. She answered yes and that's when he told her about the cat he used to have. When asked what happened to it, he replied with little emotion: "I killed her." After that, she went out of her way to avoid him. Besides, the dude was twenty-five and making "old enough to bleed, old enough to breed" joke. Gross.

Stacey said she couldn't see Jared doing things like that. She told Jessie it was all shock value as Jared was a "teddy bear", but Jessie knew better. The real reason Stacey liked him so much was the fact that he and his brother were drug dealers who sold meth, cocaine, weed. Stacey was going through some weird hard drug phase that Jessie hoped her friend would grow out of soon.

She didn't want to think about that weirdo anymore or the sick shit he was into.

The Bedard ranch was in sight as they reach the top of the hill.

"I hope Annette won't be mad at me," Lily whimpered.

Jessie looked over her shoulder. Lily was looking down at the dirt road, trying to fight back tears.

"Why would Annette be mad at you?" Jessie asked.

"Because these jeans are expensive and she said I better not ruin them."

"She's can't be mad at something you couldn't help," Amber said.

"But she might be!" Lily's voice broke and she began to cry.

They stopped and tried to calm her down, but there wasn't much they could do for her except let her cry. Amber hugged Lily as her body shook with sobs. Amber looked up and gave Jessie a worried look. To Jessie, Lily was a flower in name as well as spirit. She was delicate, soft, and pretty to look at, but like a flower, she could easily be trampled on and wither away if she wasn't well protected and taken care of.

Amber whispered reassurances to her friend and eventually, the Lakota teen calmed down. Minutes later they were at the Bedard ranch. Amber followed Lily inside, promising Jessie she'd return later on.

She arrived at the tiny house she dwelled in with her family close to four o'clock. Her eyes swept over the property and she felt a sense of defeat looking at it. The yard was kept clean but the house was a disaster to look at and inside wasn't any better. The walls were stained yellow from her mother's chain-smoking, the floor was covered in holes and patched over with pieces of wood which left big squares popping up in the carpet, the linoleum floors in both the kitchen and bathrooms were falling apart, the toilet wobbled, her bedroom that she shared with her sister was covered in holes from the previous owner punching them, the roof leaked, the power occasionally surged, and no matter how hard they tried to keep the place clean, bugs infested the house.

Jessie was glad that she barely had any friends. Fewer people to show her disaster of a house to. At least Stacey was understanding. They were both trash and trash stuck together. She internally cringed at the thought of Lily seeing this mess, but if it bothered the girl, she never showed it.

Jessie pushed her feelings aside and walked up the gravel driveway to the hellhole she called home. She found her dad, Greg Mason, working on the car. Tucked away in the corner was her orange Western Bagger, her only ticket to freedom.

"Hey, Pops," she greeted.

Greg looked up from his work, his arms still deep in car innards, and said in a thick Broker accent, "School's out already?"

"It's four o'clock. Today was my last day of school. Forever."

He gave a nod and withdrew his hands from the motor. Grabbing a rag off the window wipers, he began to wipe off his hands, though it wasn't doing any good.

"So, my girl finally graduated. Didn't think you'd ever accomplish that."

His words stung but she laughed it off.

"Yeah, well, I'm full of surprises," she said.

He laughed and patted her shoulder. "I'm proud of ya though. Got ya diploma?"

She nodded and swung her backpack closer to her front. She unzipped it and took out the dark red leather bound case containing her future. He leaned in for a closer look.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say this was a forgery."

Jessie giggled. "Come on, Dad, gimme some credit."

He smiled at his daughter while she put her diploma back in her bag.

"Are ya celebratin' tonight?" he asked.

"I plan on it. Stacey is throwin' a party tonight."

He raised a brow and become concerned. "A party? That boyfriend of yours isn't gonna be there, is he?"

And here she thought they could get along and have a conversation without her life choices being thrown in her face.

"His name's Lester and no, he won't. He's busy."

"Must be really important if he has to ignore his girlfriend."

"If he did see me, you'd complain about that too," she replied with her hands on her hips.

Sensing an argument was coming, her father changed the subject. "Your mother's inside. You might wanna go say hi to her. Oh, and Jessie, I hope you won't be staying here long. Times are gettin' tough and we can't afford to take care of you."

"Don't worry, Dad, I'll find another job."

"May have to work two. We had to write a hot check the other day."

Jessie nodded, annoyed that she would have to pay because they were bad with money. Arguing wasn't worth it though, so she turned and walked inside. She took the back door which led to the hallway and her bedroom. Her mom was watching The Perry Springfield Show at top volume and occasionally making comments on what was going on. It was the same premise every episode: Some obese trailer park queen was fucking a scrawny dude who supposedly served time in prison but she knew that if he really did, he would have left in a body bag. Scrawny trailer trash dude would come on stage in his best thrift store clothes and listen as his oh-so-lovely girlfriend of two and half weeks confess that she's fucking his best friend who is also a scrawny ex-con. They fight, the crowd chants "Perry! Perry!" and then the security breaks up the fight. At the end, Perry has a few thoughtful words for his audience. Rinse, lather, repeat.

Jessie didn't see how her mom could watch that garbage, but it was better than watching Opal, she guessed.

Tabby Mason sat on the couch, her chubby legs tucked underneath her. In one hand she held a carbonated beverage and in the other, a cigarette.

"Where's Amber?" Tabby asked.

"Helping Lily out. She'll be by later."

"She's always up that Indian's ass. Might as well let her live there."

You'd like that wouldn't you? One less burden in your life.

But instead of speaking her mind like she wanted Jessie said, "It was an emergency. A girl emergency…"

Tabby simply nodded and flicked ash into a half-eaten cereal bowl. The white smoke billowed high enough to reach Jessie's nostrils, making her sneeze and burning her throat.

Because of Tabby Mason's chain-smoking, Jessie grew to hate cigarettes and smokers in general. Sure, she herself smoked pot but weed, in her opinion, was far less harmful than tobacco. At least weed was all natural, unlike cigarettes that contained all sorts of chemicals, but in her parents' eyes, cannabis was evil. Sometimes her parents could be ridiculous.

"You goin' to graduation?" Tabby asked.

Jessie made a face and shook her head.

"It's for the best. I didn't want to go out anyway."

Of course you didn't…

"I'm going to Stacey's party instead," Jessie replied.

Tabby took another drag on her cigarette and blew the smoke out of the corner of her mouth. She tried to keep the smoke away from her daughter's face but it managed to drift Jessie's way regardless. Jessie tried her best not to cough, but it came out anyway. Her mother rolled her eyes and flicked more ash.

"Back in my day, us kids took more risk than your generation. Sometimes I think that's a bad thing because you are all a bunch of pussies that can't even stand a bit of cigarette smoke. Why my mom smoke and drank while she was pregnant with me and I turned out just fine. Now me, I couldn't even have a beer without the doctor threatening to call CPS."

"Lucky you. I should have been a boomer because I was born in the wrong generation…" Jessie retorted.

Tabby ignored her daughter's snarky response. "Either way, I'm proud of you. You graduated school and you aren't pregnant. Wait… you aren't pregnant are you?"

"No, mom." Jessie resisted an urge to sigh loudly.

Later that evening, Amber returned with Lily who now had a fresh pair of clothes and her overnight bag. It turned out that Annette didn't pitch that big of a fit over Lily's period, but she still managed to make the girl feel ashamed of her body's natural function. Jessie figured she'd have to give Lily and Amber "the talk" later because both of their mothers failed to do so.

Once her make-up was applied and she dressed in more revealing attire, Jessie grabbed her purse and dashed out the door without telling her parents goodbye. Tonight was going to be the party to end all parties, she just knew it!

I picture teenage Jessie never leaving the grunge era of the 90s. She wanted to rock that flannel forever.