The world is full of liars. All different kinds of them. Big, small, in between. Maybe they'll let you choose a color, too. White is the most popular shade; nobody really knows what the other pigments are.
But enough rambling about classification. Let's get on with it.
She had never known how to tell him the truth. He had always been honest with her, and she knew he deserved the same. But she couldn't bring herself to do it; to unload all of her cares and burdens onto one person. To tell them everything that brought her down. That sort of trust only came naturally to a few lucky people; she wasn't one of them.
Did she want to? Of course. Need to? More than anything, really.
But that just wasn't Jade West's style.
To be decent, honest, kind and caring didn't fit; it wouldn't flow with the image she'd set up over the years. An image of a dark, loud, angry, kick-you-when-you're-down kind of girl. And it's just a shell, just another kind of lie that she tells every day.
She knew that she lied to him constantly; every day, a few more of her whoppers were added to the load. But Jade wasn't the type to be weak and run crying and whining to her all-but-perfect (although he's not completely honest with the world either; keeping cool as a cucumber all the time, no matter what happens, isn't as easy as it seems) boyfriend for every insignificant little problem that came her way.
To her, honesty was an alien thing; a foreign language that seemed archaic, out of date. Not a lot of humans spoke the strange tongue nowadays; it was so old-fashioned to be up-front and transparent about your life. No, it was much better to put on a mask to entertain the masses; let them laugh or cry as they watch you performance, unable to see that you're broken and weeping inside, yearning for those seemingly lost old times that used to be so familiar.
Was it easy to be so deceptive? Never. Not once had the task become anything remotely less than soul-scarring; sometimes, the guilt seemed impossible to escape. More and more, it was becoming harder to rationalize it with the same statement about the human race in general that had become her mantra.
Because that's all we are. A bunch of beautiful, glorious lies.
But all words, repeated over and over to calm the thoughts, eventually lose their potency; their ability to reinforce the mind against the assassins of doubt begins to fade. And as the shield of fantasy pales in comparison to the hard, cold real world, the mind of the pretender is snapped back like a dog on an extendable leash that's been stretched too far.
The realization can be too much for some. Those weakened by a lifetime of falsehoods and untruths, and then suddenly forced into this strange new country where their very tongue is unknown will not survive; however, if they are of strong will, a few may contrive to forget their old speech and learn the old ways that are seeded inside each and every human being.
But still…. Most do not survive. It's hard to learn a new language, after all.
(*)
If his little lies were white, then hers would be b l a c k.
Blacker than the ink that marred the diary page before her, splotched and further soiled by the tears running down her face. Blacker than the makeup layered over her eyes to make her seem different. Blacker than her favorite color, which she always wore just because she liked it. It matched the many falsehoods that stained her soul and shut out the world, the light, and the one person who truly cared about her: Beck.
He was always there for her, always ready with a laugh, a joke, a smile, a hug, a kiss. He was everything she had ever wanted and needed. He swore he'd love her forever, and she believed him.
But she lied to him every day.
It was a scenario like that of an illegal immigrant; she'd gained access to the country that was Beck, but they didn't speak the same language. Lies and honesty could mesh, to a point, but there would be no true connection until one of them folded.
Were they meant for each other, despite being polar opposites? Even though fire and water couldn't be together without being destroyed, they'd find a way eventually. Perhaps fire could make a compromise, stop flaring up so much and tone itself down a little. Or maybe water could try to be a little less "go with the flow" – ish.
And yeah, it wasn't really that dramatic for Beck and Jade; they knew their hearts belonged with one another. No one could split them apart; nothing could ever change them as a whole.
Even though they weren't as together as they could have been.
(*)
"Canadians are stupid." "Come on, what have you got against Canadians? We're pretty awesome, thank you very much." "Your so-called bacon is just glorified ham! It offends me." "You know I can't change an entire country's ham, but I would if I could, for you."
"Your locker is dumb." "How so?" "It's transparent." "I don't see how that's an issue here." "Transparent stuff is for geeks and people who like looking stupid."
All lies. Lies she tells to cover up her true self. She didn't want to hand him her heart on a silver platter and then have it stepped on.
But enough was enough. Any more lies and she'd go insane.
(*)
In his RV (which she'd insulted so many times, trying to cover up how laid-back and independent it seemed, that she'd lost count), they sat together on the couch, curled up against each other, for comfort as well as warmth. Reruns of the Fresh Prince blared in the small space of his makeshift bedroom/living room, but neither of them was really watching the show. They were watching each other.
Acting on a sudden impulse, Jade slid out of his grasp and face Beck, almost losing her train of thought as their eyes met. She couldn't keep her expression guarded anymore; at once, a runaway train of a dozen conflicting emotions flashed across her face, and then vanished. It probably crashed somewhere between her brain and her mouth; the obstacle it ran into would have to be the endless pools of brown before her.
She would never know what she was going to say before that moment; right now, all that mattered was an instinct, and urge to rid herself of the burden that was dragging her down.
She could feel his lips curving against hers in a slightly confused smile as she lunged forward, surprised by her own boldness. Her hands tangled in his hair, tugging slightly as they deepened the kiss. His confusion was gone; whatever was going on, there must be a good reason for this unexplained passion of hers.
Eventually, they separated, completely out of breath. It had been a while since they'd shared anything that heated; despite the rumors at school, they were both still virgins.
Beck flashed her a questioning look as he tried to regain his breath. Her hair and his stood up at unnatural angles; it looked as though they'd both just woken up.
She nervously returned the gaze, heart hammering from more than lack of air. This was it; the moment of truth, literally.
"I love you." The words escaped quietly from her throat as she shyly tried to look away, a scarlet blush creeping over her normally pale cheeks. A hand caught her chin, gently tugging her eyes back to his as he pulled her into another kiss, his only answer to her words; a silent, wordless I know, more powerful than anything he could've said out loud.
Three words. That was all it took.
It's the first time she's been honest with him in a while.
\;;/****\;;/
A/N Well, how'd I do? This is my first oneshot, and my first attempt at writing a story centered on Bade. I hope I did the pairing justice; I wrote this longhand on a scrap of notebook paper in geometry (the bane of my existence); then, it was just a two-page scribble that I never thought would come to fruition, but look at it now: six pages on Word. Score!
Anyway, I've been sitting on this one for a little while because I haven't had time until now to type it up and expand the concept. So…. Yeah.
Leave me a review! If you're going to favorite, please don't do so without reviewing! I love you all…. Also, who else is pumped for Jade Gets Crushed tonight, huh? It can't possibly be just me…. At last, an episode with a juicy plot. Seems like it'll be perfectly angsty.
Anyway, Review, please! :D
~IF7