So this is my first South Park fic. I'd never even contemplated writing one until I found this category on so I'm not really sure how good it'll be, where it's going, how it's going to turn out, or indeed if it's even going to be finished (I'm pretty bad like that) so, although I have a rough idea for the plot, this is going to be as much a surprise for me as it will be for you guys!

Before I begin though I would like to dedicate this chapter to katgirl13605, Brittany, littleskittle100, Holly and gman2006 for giving me enough information on American school systems to write this. Thanks guys :D If anything's not quite right let me know, I'm always open to criticism.

Anyway! Without much further ado, I bring to you… insert the title I eventually choose (I haven't decided at the time of writing this introduction! Whatever it is, it's most definitely subject to change. I always think of something better after I've already chosen one). I haven't proof read this so there may be a few mistakes for which I apologise.

P.S. There are some things in this story that don't make sense yet. Bear with me, they will.

P.P.S. Forgive the lame start. I really can't imagine the South Park boys playing 'I spy' either…

'Iiii spyyyy with my little eyyyye something beginning wiiiiith……..'R',' Kyle drawled in a bored tone.

'It's rain, dude,' I said immediately. 'And it's been rain for your last 5 goes.'

'Yup…' Kyle yawned, ignoring my question. 'There's nothing else to damn well spy.'

'Why the hell are we playing this dumbass game anyway?' I asked settling even further down into the hood of my parka trying to escape the chilly air of the unheated school bus. As usual it meant whatever I said was almost completely swallowed by the grimy fabric but nevertheless he understood.

'Because there's nothing else to do and we need some form of distraction from them,' my friend answered, casting a disgusted look over his shoulder at Stan and Wendy who were eating face right behind us very noisily. 'Desperate times call for desperate measures. Seriously, I think I'm going to have to imprison Stan next summer vacation to stop him going away if this is what happens when he comes home. You'd think they hadn't seen each other for a year not a week.'

'Yeah, it's totally lame,' I agreed sleepily. First day back at school after the summer totally sucked ass, especially since the weather had decided to turn crappy for it just to add more of an atmosphere.

'Pathetic fallacy,' I muttered.

'What?' Kyle looked at me inquisitively.

'Pathetic fallacy,' I repeated. 'It's when the weather – '

'Reflects your mood, yeah, I know,' he interrupted me looking stunned. 'Where did you learn it though?'

I shrugged, ignoring the bluntness of his question. I really didn't remember; probably one of those rare moments when I actually listened in English at some point.

'You guys, I'm seriously,' an angry face appeared above the seat in front of us. 'I'm trying to get some beauty sleep hmyah – '

'Beauty sleep?' I questioned Cartman.

'It's not working,' Kyle retaliated and we both sniggered.

'Shut up Jew Boy!' Cartman snapped maliciously. 'Anyway! I'm trying to sleep and all I can hear is you two fags playing lame games and discussing English. Keep it for the classroom!'

And with that he disappeared from view again leaving me and Kyle glaring mutinously and the wide space where he'd vanished.

'I can't wait till Stan passes his driving test,' Kyle muttered sullenly.

When the bus finally pulled up we traipsed off it like condemned men. After we'd managed to pry Stan and Wendy apart and she'd gone off to find her friends, the four of us turned towards the school. Returning from a summer of fun and freedom made it look more like a prison than ever, especially considering the driving rain was pelting at it like a motherbitch and turning the grey stone even greyer.

'Fuck,' I swore.

'Look on the bright side,' Stan said. 'At least we're not freshmen anymore.'

'Yeah,' Cartman agreed his fat face lighting up. 'Now people have to respect our authoritah!'

As if to confirm his new found status he whacked a passing 9th grader causing her to squeal loudly and take cover behind her friends. The group looked at Cartman fearfully and hurriedly moved on as quickly as possible.

'Cartman!!!' Kyle exclaimed furiously.

'Just because we're sophomores now doesn't mean you get to beat on the freshmen, Fatass!' Stan agreed glaring.

'Guys, you need to take a firm hand with them right at the start or else they walk all over you,' Cartman explained calmly.

'Whatever,' I argued. 'You're just trying to reassert yourself after those 10th graders gave you a wedgie in the cafeteria every Friday last year.'

'Yeah,' Stan and Kyle laughed.

'Shut up, Kenny!' he yelled at me.

Later that day I was stood with Stan and Kyle by our lockers discussing whether me and Kyle should try out for the school football team. The discussion meant me and Kyle stood there pretending to listen while Stan listed 101 reasons why we should.

'Come on!' Stan raved, 'It'd be so cool! It really gets your blood pumping! You have to do it!'

'Stan, I wanna stay as far away from rough sports as possible, k?' I answered. Given my naturally 'accident prone' nature, football was probably not the best idea.

'Fine,' Stan sighed and turned to Kyle instead. 'What about you dude?...Kyle?'

Instead of answering though, Kyle made a weird, almost choking noise in his throat, ignoring him and staring over his left shoulder. Stan and I looked at one another curiously and then turned to see what was so amazing. A familiar looking girl was standing a few feet away, I'd definitely seen her before but not from school and she looked uneasy…she was arm in arm with another girl who I didn't recognise and who also looked slightly uncomfortable. Even though it was always fun to check out a new piece of ass, and there was no denying that the first chick was hot, I didn't get why Kyle had started blushing and was apparently no longer capable of coherent speech.

'Kyle?' Stan tried again, apparently as disinterested in the girls as I was. 'Kyle!'

Knowing what would snap him out of it, I attempted to steal his hat but, as I expected, he shot back to reality with a snarl and grabbed at it before I'd even managed to lift it from his head.

'Never touch the hat,' he told me quickly before turning to Stan. 'Dude! It's Rebecca!'

'Who?' Stan asked blankly looking at me. I shrugged.

'You know? Rebecca! The home schooled girl I…had a thing for,' he finished lamely.

'Oh!' Stan caught on and looked back over at her. 'Are you sure? It doesn't look like her…this girl's cute.'

'I'm telling you, man, it's – Hey! What do you mean this girl's cute?' Kyle said defensively.

'Well…Rebecca wasn't the best looking girl you've liked,' Stan answered tactfully.

'She was a fucking dog,' I chipped in.

'Shut up, butt pipe!' Kyle scowled. 'Well, anyway, it's definitely her and even if she wasn't hot then, which she was, she is now.'

It was at that moment that the supposed Rebecca caught sight of us and seemed to sigh in relief before making her way over, the other girl in tow.

'Oh thank God!' she remarked as she came within speaking distance. 'Someone I know! Hey, Kyle! Remember me?'

For a moment I thought he was going to pull a Stan and puke all over her and I contemplated taking a step backwards but thankfully he managed to hold it in and when he did speak he sounded quite laid back.

'Yeah, Rebecca right?'

'Yeah,' she grinned and gushed. 'Bet you're surprised to see me, huh? I finally persuaded daddy to let me come to high school. I was really getting too old for home schooling and when my cousin moved in with us she had to come here and so it was the perfect excuse for me to go too! I've only been here for a few hours and it's fascinating! Being in school is so different from anything else I've ever experienced!'

I looked at Stan and he looked back, an eyebrow raised. Was this girl for real? The second one was apparently having the same idea as us as she shook her head disbelievingly at her friend's statement. Rebecca must have caught the movement out of the corner of her eye as she suddenly grabbed her by the elbow and yanked her into our circle too.

'This is my cousin,' she now addressed us all. 'Grace.'

'Hi,' she mumbled looking at the floor in embarrassment as we all stared at her. The two of them couldn't be more different. Rebecca had had her hair cut into a short bob in the time we hadn't seen her and was wearing an extremely girly blouse and shirt combination, extremely formal for a day at school. Grace, on the other hand, had long spiky hair that she'd tied into a messy bun at the back of her head and was wearing a pair of cargo pants and a jumper despite the fact that the school felt about 90o. Even I had taken my parka off and shoved it in my locker and Stan and Kyle had also abandoned their coats. She seemed to feel me staring at her and raised her head, glaring back.

'What?' she growled.

'Nothing,' I answered putting my hands up in mock defence. There was an awkward pause between the 5 of us as Rebecca's seemingly limitless flow of conversation dried out.

'Well, anyway! We'd better go, it's math in about 5 minutes and we don't know where we're going,' Rebecca stated checking her watch.

'I'll show you,' Kyle offered eagerly causing Stan to snort with laughter. He ignored him though and set off with the girls.

'That,' Stan announced after they were out of earshot. 'Was the weirdest pair of females I've ever met.'

'Mhm,' I nodded.