D-Don't look at me dammit!

Just don't.

Here is... Fallen Messiah abridged. Requested by someone and like I always, I deliver on promises...

Seriously speaking, see the cover up there? The artist who drew that (and a bunch of other amazing art) requested this and welp, I said yes. This won't be long, just a few chapters. It was going to be a one shot but I don't think I can write that in one sitting. Credit for the cover goes to Wes80, that wonderful person.

Simply put, this is a mixture of abridged, pimpsona and fallen messiah so there will be spoilers for the last one but even then, you don't need to read the whole fic to know what is going on.

Hopefully you enjoy. Just remember. I am bat shit insane. Nuff said.

"Elizabeth! Don't die!"

"Minato-sama…"

"Don't you dare die!"

"…"

"I'm a messiah and I can raise the dead b-but still, do not die!"

"Minato-sama…" Elizabeth sucked in a deep breath and pulled him close, slowly whispering into his ear as she breathed her last in the world, in the arms of the fallen- in the arms of the messiah.

"Fuck yeah!"

"Minato-sama…. I-I can see the future," Elizabeth said and Minato frowned, leaning down and struggling to listen to her progressively decorticating voice. "I see clearly now…"

"What do you see?"

"You will die…"

"What the!?"

"Yes…. You will die…"

"What can I do to stop it!?"

"…"

"Wait, can a messiah really die?"

Elizabeth sighed.

"I call bullshit on your theory!"

"Listen to me," Elizabeth had to growl despite being seconds away from her death. "To stay alive… you have to…. You have to…"

"What?" Minato strained his ears. "Come on! What do I have to do?!"

"To survive you have to…"

"Go on!"

"Have to…"

"WHAT!?"

"….. Wank…."

Minato blinked and released the grip around her. Elizabeth landed with a thud and her form immediately disappeared, causing utter freaking chaos but Minato didn't feel much of it because he was still trying to make sense of what she was saying.

"Wank…?" Minato rubbed his chin. "Me? Me of all people?"

"Huh… no wonder she died after suggesting that. The goddamn audacity!" still, he couldn't shake off the paranoia. Elizabeth said he was going to die. Maybe she had reached enlightenment like he did the moment he was born?

"Eh," Minato shrugged and walked-

Tripped over and fell face first and that was what woke him up-

…

…

…

"LORD MINATO ALMIGHTY!"

Minato woke up with a jolt, destroying his own room because the force of his awakening was out of the world. His scream shattered almost every window in the city and the dozens of nearby ended up losing their lives because he was way too powerful.

After causing much death and destruction, Minato was proud. He opened his mouth and let out a psychopathic giggle, followed by a haunting laugh but all of that ended when his eyes landed on someone else in his bed.

"Shit, she's still alive," Minato sighed, glaring at the sleeping redhead snoring peacefully next to him, not bothered a bit by the oh so powerful and deadly shout. "I swear. This fool has no courtesy. When the messiah screams, you WAKE THE FUCK UP!"

Hamuko did indeed wake up this, sitting up straight and looking him in the eye, not bothered by the ruthless glare that he sent her way.

"Waking up to your face is the best way to start my day," Hamuko giggled.

"It is night, you dumbass," Minato rolled his eyes.

"Why did you wake up so early?" Hamuko asked.

"I had a dream," Minato recalled the recurring dream. This was not the first he had seen it. He was haunted with the nightmare ever since Elizabeth died and the dreams were just a recap.

"What did you see?" Hamuko blinked.

"I saw you getting me coffee," Minato balled his fist. "Coffee. Now!"

"Sure darling," Hamuko giggled and hopped off, bouncing her way out of the room and slamming the door shut after blowing him a kiss that was accompanied with the twisting of her lips. Minato reeled back from the shock and banged his head on the ground as he fell backwards, struggling not to empty his stomach in the sanctuary that was his room.

"Audacity," Minato barfed and got up, still struggling with the dream.

"Just do it!"

"Or do you not have it anymore?"

"Silence!" Minato yelled at the voices in his head and then looked down with a frown. "You are still sacred, you hear that? You are still the symbol of excellence!"

Satisfied, Minato started moving towards the door, only to trip and crash head first into the door. The poor door never stood a chance as it was utterly decimated and its entire race was wiped off the face of the world.

Minato was by far the most powerful mortal in the world.

Somewhere else, a certain brunette scoffed. "Bitch please."

Moving on, he could wreck shit like no other but even someone as awesome as him had problems. See, Minato was an expert at breaking backs, getting girls, making people humble and falling down. The last bit was his special talent.

He fell from grace.

He fell in the bathroom.

He fell into the sewer.

He fell onto Hamuko's chest.

"I knew you loved me!" followed by redheaded girl doing stuff to him he'd rather not speak off.

"Minato…" Minato cringed, eating the bar of soap he pulled out of his pocket as he recalled those nasty experiences. He took a few more steps and fell from the top of the steps, shattering the ground that he landed on but getting up with no problem whatsoever.

Minato slapped and the force of his palms meeting was so powerful that the nearby folks collapsed to the ground, pleasing the blunet who acknowledged their bows but still cursed them with misfortune and death cause fuck em.

Shinjiro and Ken just died a few days so the vibe of the dorm was still pretty shit and while the fallen messiah loved to poke fun at the weaklings and remind them of their place, this day he chose not to because he was still reeling from the dream.

Akihiko was still shadow boxing….. and his shadow was winning.

Mitsuru was calling a bunch of folks to repair the floor, a daily occurrence because of his special talent.

Fuuka was writing a smutty fanfiction about herself and Minato….. welp, she'd be better be doing that or else. Whether that was praise or disrespect, Minato did not know but he was good enough for that, dammit.

Junpei was still depressed because of Chidori. He was paying her respect by searching girls on Tinder, to show how much of a hunk he was…. By using Minato's holy picture because that too…. Was respect…. Well, sort of….

Yukari was… welp, bugging Fuuka about adding in Tatsuya to make the fancition a threesome…. Minato guessed.

Aigis was Aigis, trying to update her system to a newer version of windows but like always, Minato destroyed the wifi at the last second because it was funny.

"Your bows are noted and ignored simultaneously," Minato said. "Now, go fuck yourselves!"

"When you gonna take care of Tatsuya though?" Junpei said. "I can't sleep at night. You sleep with bliss almost every single night!"

"I sleep with her…" Minato scoffed, pointing at Hamuko.

"Same thing," Junpei replied.

"Insolence!" Minato snarled, balling his fist up. "I will deal with that peasant whenever I see fit! I was going to finish him today but since you suggested that… I will refrain."

"DO IT"

"DO IT"

"DO IT!"

"Silence!" Minato yelled at the voices-

"Are you okay?" Yukari said, not aware of the wonderful population that resided in Minato's psyche.

"I'm not crazy!" Minato accused. "You're crazy!"

After fighting with the voices, Minato exhaled. Already exhausted and tired of the dreams and his voices. As much as hated it, he decided to pay Sumaru a visit and whoop some ass to get his mind off bullshit.

"I will free this world of Tatsuya today then," Minato promised, just like every other day. The rest were tempted to call him out on his BS but refrained because he was Minato, duh. "You peasants will stay here and erect a statue of me, you got that!?" he ordered and started walking, tripping and falling on top of Hamuko who squealed.

"I knew you loved me!"

Click.

Junpei readied the camera.

"Minato…." Minato sighed. This was just another day in the life of the fallen messiah.

"It is sacred!"

"You do not deserve my messianic dick!"

"Get off! GET OFF! ALL OF YOU!"

Back in Sumaru, Tatsuya was waiting.

"Fallen dipshit. Bitch. Bastard. Asshole. Dick," the brunette blinked.

"What was his name again….?"

Meh. Who cared?

"The messiah has arrived!" he heard the shout and saw the fallen idiot lumbering his way into the city. "With a host of new diseases unknown to mankind."

"…"

"Yeah, suffering the sins of people and hormones the moment I was born," Minato said. "Cause that is a messiah, fool."

"…"

"Yup, let's get this over with already," Minato said. "I have my followers to ignore."

The battle was on, just like every other day but this time, Minato was desperate. He recalled the dream, blanched, vehemently denied it but he was desperate. He needed to beat Tatsuya, free himself from the cycle at all costs.

"Get hotdogs too," Minato said and met the charge of the brunette head on, the dream still flashing before his eyes. The two were about to clash. The two were about to duel. The two were about to UNLEASH UTTER FUCKING CHAOS UPON THE MISERABLE WORLD-

Minato tripped midway through his charge and ate a mouthful of mud.

"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucckkkkkkkkkk!"

Why the world did not end at that point was a mystery...

To Minato only...

Told ya I was insane and I don't give a fuck. This is American Humor dammit.

What will happen next? what did Elizabeth mean? What will the fallen messiah do? Will he get dem hotdogs?

Read on. Do review and tell me if this was worth the effort. Cheers.