So this is my second FF and (of course) it's about our favorite couple ! I know what happened during the season 5 finale even if it will take ages for the german television productions (no idea which company is responsible for it) to show the synchronized version. There are some really good music-videos on a certain popular website that's how I found out.
BUT: In MY imagination these two get together again some day and I don't f care about what they showed on TV ;-)
And a HUGE thank you to everyone who read my first FF 'not even a romance'. Your Reviews really encouraged me to put this new one-shot online. Thanks again and I hope you can enjoy the new piece too.
Working already on a third one ;-)
Getting more than comfort
Director Shepard stood by the window in her office with her back towards her desk, drinking the last remains of her coffee while looking at the rain outside. Since yesterday everything seemed to have changed for her after being held hostage. Sure, on the outside, Jenny Shepard was still the tough Director of a federal agency who told everyone that she was fine.
On the inside it was a completely different image.
Jen didn't have the guts to tell at least Gibbs that she was anything but fine, but would it really make a difference? Would it really make her feel better?
Lately, she found herself not being able to look him in the eyes, afraid of what he might be seeing in hers and that fact made her just sick. Being held hostage hadn't scared Jen the most…it had been the thought of never having the chance to see him again, to fight with him over semantics or to hear his sexy voice. Thinking of it now, she almost choked on the coffee.
Jen wasn't sure whether it was because she had to laugh or to cry, but it didn't matter anyway. Chained to that chair at the airport had given her the time to think about lots of things with regard to her past, present and even the future.
Jen had thought about her time as a Probie in the team of the oh so famous Special Agent Gibbs, her passionate affair with him later, his whispered words of love during and after making love to each other. There had also been images of her leaving Jethro, not just as a co-worker but also as a lover.
And then she had thought about the last year, her first as the head of NCIS and how often she had to prove herself to Jethro as his boss. Jen had been so proud when the former Director Morrow suggested that position to her but now…
The rain outside was still pouring like there would be no tomorrow and from the distance you could hear the threatening sounds of thunder. It was a perfect reflection of the Director's state of mind at the moment. Maybe Jethro was right and she should have stayed being a field agent. Of course it was more dangerous than the job of the Director, but it was certainly more exciting and interesting than switching between sitting at your desk, going to formal dinners in mostly very uncomfortable dresses with men who were just starring at her cleavage all the time and that whole ass-kissing thing in order to gain for example more money for the agency. Yeah, Jen was paid very well but was it worth pretending to be someone else ? Someone she never wanted to be?
When Jen suddenly concentrated on her own reflection, she noticed for the first time tears running down her pale cheeks. It had been one hell of a day which had cost the life of a very good agent and all she could do was…nothing. She let out a deep, shaking sigh before sinking on her knees and leaning her forehead against the cold window. Every now and then the storm outside lightened up the dark office, the sounds of thunder grew louder and Jen let the tears run down her face – the carefully built wall started to crash.
"Jen?", came suddenly very quiet from across the room and when she looked towards the open door her eyes met Jethros instantly. He stepped slowly into the Director's office, closed the door behind him and observed the obviously desperate figure on the floor next to the window. After a few moments of awkward silence Jen managed to turn away from his intense gaze on her and watched the streams of raindrops again while Gibbs knelt beside her.
"What's wrong Jen? Is it because of yesterday?", he whispered still very quiet not wanting to push Jen too much for an answer.
She didn't want to talk about what happened, especially not her memories or the fear with regard to the future of her work. But Jen also knew that her former partner wouldn't give up until he was satisfied with her answers. Just as she came up with the strength to start talking she felt a rough but tender hand caressing her wet cheek and had to flinch at the unexpected contact. Gibbs was surprised maybe even hurt by Jens reaction and wondered what the hell was going on inside her mind.
"Tell me Jen. Perhaps I can help…please", he said with his mouth next to her ear and found himself holding a sobbing Jen when she threw herself into his arms all of a sudden.
It hadn't been Gibbs' offer of help but that tiny little word 'please' which caused her inner wall to crash down entirely.
Gibbs embraced Jen carefully, rocked her very gentle in his arms and placed a soft kiss on top of the red hair inhaling the sweet scent of roses and pure Jen. He waited patiently until she stopped crying and leaned back just a little bit in order to wipe away the last strains of tears and this time Gibbs' gesture was welcomed.
"You know Jethro…it is not really about the situation itself. I mean…sigh…it is more about my thoughts I had back there", she finally answered somehow absent to her surroundings. "I thought about the possibility of dying" at this point Gibbs had to take a deep breath and wanted to tell Jen that this would never have happened but she went on with something he didn't see coming.
"I thought about not having the opportunity to see you again Jethro. To tell you…", she starred at the small space between them, "To tell you that…I still care for you. A lot."
Gibbs had no idea how to respond to that confession and just pulled her more tightly against himself, feeling her body shiver. His head started spinning, images of their moments together came to his mind, again, and all he wanted to do was going back to these better times with Jenny. Before Gibbs was able to make up his mind properly, the words just came out of his mouth.
"I know Jen. And you know that I still care for you too. You were a great partner and we had a wonderful time." He knew that this probably was not exactly what she wanted to hear, but he wasn't sure of how much Jenny actually cared for him. Sometimes Gibbs did have the impression that he was able to detect the same love she felt for him all those years ago in her eyes but even the silver haired man wasn't always right. Three ex-wives proved that. Suddenly a small female hand stroked tenderly his neck and Jenny kissed vaguely his cheek.
"You're right Jethro. We really had a great time.", the redhead said with a small, somewhat sad smile on her face. Gibbs waited for another few minutes before standing up with Jenny still in his arms and led her over to the couch where they sat down beside each other.
"Is there something else you wanna tell me?", he asked concerned. Jenny took another deep breath before resume talking with fidgeting hands.
"I'm not sure…if the job of the Director is the right position for me. I was so angry when you told me I should have stayed a field agent, because I thought you considered me as not being good enough. Maybe you were right Jethro. I felt so helpless yesterday." He lay his left hand on top of hers, making her look at him.
"Jen I know what I said and I won't change it. You really were a damn good agent but I saw that you are also a very good Director. You only felt helpless, because you are not used to these situations anymore but that doesn't make you a bad Director. You handled it pretty well, even managed to give me a hint with just one sentence like a good agent does. What more do you want?" And the first thing that came to her mind at that moment was 'you'. Not quite trusting her voice, Jen choose to finally meet Jethros eyes trying to open up to him without words. Maybe he would see it in her eyes…
The following seconds felt like an eternity to her before Gibbs leaned in slowly, giving her enough time to pull away. Jenny held her breath, her heart pounding fast within her chest and as his soft lips brushed over hers everything around them vanished. Instead of pulling away, Jen started nipping on his lips, inhaled his smell which was a mixture of coffee and sawdust. Gibbs sneaked one arm around her waist while stroking her jaw line with his other hand and began to deepen their kiss by tracing her delicious lips with his tongue. Soon they both lay on the couch with Jen on top of him and still lost in their own world of sweet kisses and wandering hands. They didn't want to take it too far yet but obviously couldn't stop either until Jen found the strength to let go of him. Gibbs held her close, running his hands up and down her back and gave her one of his seldom genuine smiles. She had unshed tears of happiness in her eyes, kissed his forehead and lay her head upon his beating heart. Outside the storm was just as strong as before, the thunder was even louder and the lightning produced somewhat scary shadows in the Directors office but the two figures on the couch were only aware of each other although they didn't know what was going to happen next.
"Jen? I could use a cup of coffee right now. What about you?", he asked grinning at the woman on top of his body. She slapped playfully his arm and gave him her best Directors glare "Jethro! You're impossible you know that?! Don't answer – of course you know. Did you take a look outside? I know you need your coffee but not when its pissing like mad."
"Pissing? Jen I'm shocked!" he responded laughing while standing up from the couch. "Oh come on Jethro it feels really good to be just Jenny and not the Director of NCIS. Fine, go and get your coffee but we will talk after you get back ok? Don't think I didn't notice the change of topic here!" She smiled at him as he gave her that unique 'Gibbs smirk' and sank back into the pillows of the couch after her newfound, or better re-found lover had hurried out of the office.
'Well…that was definitely unexpected', Jenny thought to herself wondering to what it would lead them. She wanted another chance with Jethro but was he ready for this? Wouldn't she be another replacement for Shannon just like his other wives and lovers?
Just as her thoughts started spinning around, Gibbs came back completely soaked but with two cups of fresh and hot coffee in his hands. Jenny took them, helped him out of his wet coat and after sitting down again they drank in silence until she finally spoke up.
"How do you feel about this Jethro? About us? Don't get me wrong I want you I really do…"
"You're afraid of being a rebound ?", he cut her off and was suddenly very serious. "Jen. I admit that there were times when I wanted a replacement for her I won't deny that but this isn't happening now. Not even seven years ago when I was with you. It was about you and not her. Believe me, beside your hair color you are very different from Shannon" he said starring at the small table in front of him.
"Do you want to give us another shot?", she asked him after a while. 'Very subtle Jen. You couldn't push him more huh?' she berated herself not daring to look at him.
"I didn't simply kiss you for old times sake Jen. Tell me…are you willing to try again? You know that I get obsessed with my work sometimes and most women I knew broke up with me because of it. Not that I don't understand", Gibbs responded surprisingly calm.
"Honestly? I rather think that this is something we have in common Jethro. Both of us need our independence to a certain degree and we also learned how to handle each other a long time ago. I won't say it will be easy but…" she broke off, turning his face towards her watching him closely. "I'm willing to take the risk Jethro because I can't do this without you anymore. Do not want to live without you. I know, I know it sounds very cliché but this is how I feel. How I still feel about you."
Gibbs took his own time to think about what Jenny had said and looked out of the window, realizing that the rain had stopped falling. Was he ready for a serious relationship with Jenny? He knew that she never meant to hurt him back then, that they were more like victims of circumstances but he also thought about his other relationships which had ended badly for both sides. Gibbs left at least three bitter women behind, not intentionally but nevertheless and he didn't want to see Jenny getting depressed like them. On the other hand, perhaps this was his last chance to be happy after fifteen years of mostly loneliness and pain. Jen was a lot like him so she always understood him more than other women and she wasn't someone who gave up easily. He smiled down at the nervous woman beside him and ran his hand through her short red hair.
"I love you Jen. Maybe the second time does the charm what do ya think?", he said with that annoying grin on his face whereas Jen didn't know what to do first. Kissing that handsome bastard, smacking the back of his head or crying out of happiness. She decided to do it all, smacked him and kissed him fervently after that with tears spilling freely. "I love you too Jethro…you amazing bastard!" she managed to get out between kisses and pulled away a bit later looking at him with shining eyes.
"Just promise me one thing Jethro."
"Yeah?"
" Don't take it personal but please, never ask me to marry you…I really want it to work this time!", Jen said amused but serious and Jethro wrapped his arms tightly around her.
"No worries there Jen, I promise. You won't get rid of me that easy!"
And she really didn't.
The End
I got the idea for the last bit from the wonderful author ‚Alex Cabot'. I believe the story is called "Dare you to move".
Disclaimer: Nothing new to say…except for the idea to this storyline I own nothing.
