A/N: My first fic. I'm so proud. Title art and various other manips can be found on my homepage. Hope you enjoy.
Title: In the House of Elrond
Series: Moments
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Verse: BtVS, LOTR
Characters: Anya, Elrond, Gandalf, Legolas
Summary: Trouble of a different kind in the Last Homely House.
"This is unacceptable Mithrandir!" Elrond said, exasperated beyond measure. "She has assaulted or tried to assault every single male Elf (and some female ones as well) in this valley, excepting my person, her style of dress is practically indecent and yet she does nothing to correct this. I can handle her unusual way of talking, crude as it is and I can forgive her almost braking and tearing invaluable artifacts of history. I can even forgive her the occasional harassment of the single Elf. But trying to corner my sons, almost wrecking the library in her haste to slake her lusts is one step too far! I demand something be done! You brought her here, you deal with her!"
His volume had risen with each word, until he was practically shouting. He stopped for a breath, about to start again until he saw Gandalf's face. "Mithrandir! Mithrandir!"
"Hmmm…Oh yes, Elrond, you were saying?" the highly amused wizard said.
"You hadn't been listening to a word I said, haven't you?"
"Nonsense, my dear Peredhil. Yes, I agree that something should be done about Anya's," Gandalf gave a delicate little cough, "overtures of romance."
"Hey! It's not like there's anything else to do for fun out here. And elves must be the most sexually repressed race I have ever met. Why make them so good looking if not one wants to give me any orgasms - although that dark haired one looked like he was going to-"
"Anya!" Both Elf and Wizard turned to stare at the young woman who had, up until now been sitting quietly on the chair in the corner pouting.
"What?" she asked them, oblivious. "He would have." Elrond sighed, rubbing his temples. Gandalf hid a chuckle into his beard.
A knock interrupted the group in Elrond's study. Wearily, Elrond bid the knocker to come in. With a smile, Gandalf suddenly rose and made some flimsy excuse, brushing quickly past the startled elf in the doorway.
"Master Elrond, forgive the intrusion." The lord of Imladris turned to look at the Elf from Mirkwood, his mouth open to reply. He stopped at the look of sudden interest on Anya's face. Plan quickly formed, he grabbed the girl, practically flinging her at Legolas saying "No harm done, little Greenleaf! If you would not mind showing our guest around Imladris, I would be most grateful." He ushered them to the still open door, closing it behind the flabbergasted prince and smiling otherworlder with a satisfying click. Smiling contentedly, he went back to his desk to finish his paperwork.
On the other side of the door a still bewildered Legolas stared at the woman who was staring right back at him with growing apprehension. Her gaze had a hungry look, and he was quite sure that that included himself in one way or another. His suspicions were confirmed a moment later when she said, "You, me, my room, hot sex?" Legolas silently vowed to get back at Elrond; after he got out of this mess.
Title: Tall tales and laughter
Series: Moments
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Verse: BtVS, LOTR
Characters: Anya, Boromir, Fellowship
Summary: Boromir tries to correct Anya's colourful stories.
"And then I just sort of held it like this and"- she was suddenly cut off by Boromir's arrival. He gave a smirk at the captivated Fellowship sitting in the camp and turned to Anya, shifting his load of firewood, the smirk still in place.
"Are you telling them the story of how you single handedly fought off those beasts again?" he asked. At her nod, he rolled his eyes, and dumped the firewood to the forest floor. To the amusement of the others watching, he took the stick she was demonstrating with and said, "And how many times to I have to tell you, when you are telling a wholly unbelievable tale you must-"
"Hey! Give that back!" she tackled him to the ground and both of them fell laughing. This brought chuckles to the rest as well, making them glad that the Valar chose it fit to bring her to Middle-Earth after she died. Anya did a wonderful job of cheering them all and lightening their hearts; especially Boromir's. The two had become fast friends in the few weeks they had known each other, evidenced by the way they were carelessly wrestling.
Only the laughter and noise from the Fellowship broke the peaceful watchfulness of Amon Hen. A few miles away, the wind carried the sound of orc horns.
Title: Stares and glares
Series: Moments
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Verse: BtVS, LOTR
Characters: Anya, Denethor, Boromir
Summary: During his meal, Denethor gets somewhat distracted.
She was staring at him. Again. It was the fourth time this week. He chose to ignore it. Without success. He risked a glare and saw her still looking at him with that infuriating, glazed stare, a dumb look of contentment on her face. Fighting his rising ire, Denethor methodically started eating again. Ignoring her, that was the key. But what in Eru's name was she staring at him for? Goodness knew he was too old for her, no matter her rather open advances towards others, so he was rather baffled. Thinking on that, he decided to curse the day his sometimes rather mischievous son brought Anya to Minas Tirith. Of course, it's all for her protection father, he had said. He growled. If that woman needed any protection, Denethor would eat his goblet.
He risked another glare and almost did a double take. She did not just smile at him when he growled. It was not possible. Fed up with her glares interrupting his meal, goblet still in hand, he bitingly said, "Must you always look at me like that when I'm eating, madam?" Silence. And then, a very articulate "Huh?" as she jerked back from whatever reality she was in, wiping at a bit of drool. The other guests in the Merethrond hid smirks behind napkins or delicate coughs, excepting Boromir who went under the table to 'retrieve' his fork. His sniggers carried to Denethor. He restrained himself from rubbing his temples, giving an inaudible sigh instead. This was not happening.