Fic: Leave Me Alone I'm Lonely
Chapter 1: It's A Quarter After One
Author: JR Boone
Rating: M for strong sexual themes and violence. Also I have the mouth of a sailor so every other word is a curse usually.
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or anything having do with it. I wish I did. LOL That would be awesome. It would be like The L Word only musical.
Author's Note: First thing is first. I don't have a beta so my bad for any major mistakes. I totally need one though so if anyone wants to hit me up please.
Second thing is second. I'm currently backpacking through Europe. I have this entire story laid out on paper already but I can't promise that I'll update it super regularly. But I will try my hardest to not wait too long between updates. But I do have a layout with roughly 60 chapters laid out, so we'll see how it goes.
Third thing is third. I am like Rachel Berry whereas she needs applause to live, I need reviews to write. So you review I go faster with this. Awesome huh?
Santana Lopez was having an unbelievably shitty summer vacation. Santana Lopez was not in a good mood. Granted she was a self proclaimed bitch, so it was very rare that she would be in a mood that even halfway resembled good any ways. But still on a scale from one being puppies and sunshine and ten being a hot poker covered in barbed wire and anthrax shoved up you nether regions, she would have to say that she was close to an eight. Because goddamnit it was a quarter after one, she was more than a little drunk, and she fucking needed someone now.
Her summer had started out so promising. Brittany was no longer dating Wheels. Santana was ready to come out when school started again. They were in love goddamnit. Or so she though at least. She was sure of it. She had told Brittany that she was in love with her. And Brittany had said it back. But she hadn't. She had said she loved her. Not that she was in love with her. Santana knew she should have picked up on it. She had known Brittany her entire life and she better than anyone understands that you have to pay close attention to the words coming out of her mouth.
She realizes now as she glares whole heartedly at the scorpion lying on the bottom of her half finished bottle of tequila that Brittany was never in love with her and she was a fucking idiot to think that. Less that seven hours ago had found her standing in front of Brittany finding out just how true that was.
She had been excited. She was going over to Brittany's house to surprise her and whisk her away to a fucking bad ass romantic date complete with fireworks and all that shit. She had shown up fucking smoking hott in a dress that was begging to be ripped off and heels that screamed fuck me. Brittany had been full on speechless for close to a minute just staring at her when the blonde opened the door. Finally Santana had lovingly rolled her eyes and put a finger under Brittany's chin bringing her eyes back up to her own.
"So what do you say Brit? You? Me? Breadsticks?"
Brittany's eyes had shined for a second before her brow furrowed slightly, instantly causing extreme internal panic inside of the Latina. "Like on a date?" Brittany managed to slowly ask, her eyes looking past Santana to the clock on the wall behind her.
Santana forced herself to remain cool, thankful for all of her years in Cheerios training her to never show fear or discomfort. "Yah Brit. I mean on a date." She said cockily wresting her hand on Brittany's shoulder. "I'm ready Brittany. I am ready to scream from the fucking rooftops that I am Santana Fucking Lopez, and that I am here, queer, and people had better fucking get used to it, because I am in love with you."
At this Brittany had smiled and squealed grabbing the brunette and wrapping her in a tight vice like hug. "Oh Santana I'm so proud that you're able to finally admit that!"
"It's all for you B," Santana said breaking the hug and smiling. "Now hurry up and go get dressed, I wants to get my eats on."
Instantly Brittany's face dropped and she looked at Santana sadly. "I'm sorry S. I can't go on a date with you tonight."
Santana cursed inwardly but continued smiling at the blond. "Come on Britt whatever you go going on tonight can wait."
Brittany's eyes started to tear up and she looked away from Santana breathing deeply. "It really can't San." She whispered out.
Seeing the tears start to roll down the girl's cheek Santana began kicking her own ass mentally. 'Something is obviously wrong bitch! Don't fuck it up! This is where we are supportive and understanding!' "Hey, hey don't cry baby," Santana said turning the girls face towards her own and wiping away a tear. "We don't have to go out tonight, it's summer vacation we've got loads of time."
Brittany stepped back shaking her head slowly, looking back at the clock and back to Santana. "No San we don't, we don't have any time." She whimpered, her frame shaking from the emotion.
At this point Santana was really starting to get scared, walking up slowly to Brittany she felt like she had been slapped when Brittany recoiled from her quickly shaking her head. "Love, Brittany, you're starting to scare me. What do you mean we don't have any time?"
Taking a deep breath to calm herself, Brittany closed her eyes and then opened them, focusing on Santana's deep worried eyes. "We don't have any time for a date, because it is already six o'clock…and I have a date with Artie at seven, and then I'm going away…with his family for a week." Brittany said softly, her voice drenched in an apologetic tone.
Santana fell back against the wall, one hand slamming against her heart as if it would sooth the sudden pain she felt there and her other one slapped over her mouth to drown out the desperate sob that was being ripped from her mouth. A horde of thoughts and emotions ran through her body and she couldn't choose which one to focus on. Finally anger bubbled to the top and she latched on fiercely to the familiar emotion. Hardening her face she straightened her body up and crossed her arms, glaring at Brittany in defiance. "So you're back with the transformer again." She said no hint of a question in her voice.
Brittany had watched the entire scene in front of her like one would watch a horrible car accident. She felt her heart clench as she watched the emotions running wildly through the Latina's body and she felt her heart break when the all too familiar emotion of anger settled into her eyes. Brittany knew she wasn't smart, but she did know emotions. And she knew that she had just set back Santana's emotions in a major way. Taking a step forwards she halted when Santana's glare intensified even more, giving her the full HBIC stare. "Santana please don't do this."
"Don't do fucking what Brittany?" Santana snapped out, her body seething.
"Don't go back. You were going forwards. If you go back you might not come forwards again like ever." Brittany said, trying painstakingly hard to get her thoughts across.
"I have no fucking clue what you're talking about Brittany, but whatever I'm fucking out of here you have fun with the bionic nerd. I hope you have fun on the special bus with him." Santana snarled out.
"Please San," Brittany begged putting a hand across her heart. "Don't do this San, I'm sorry that we can't be together but there can be other girls. You can find your Artie only like a girl Artie, and probably with working legs cause you're really mean about that."
Santana Fucking Lopez saw red and she felt something inside her completely break into pieces. "No Brittany! Fuck you and fuck your loser ass boyfriend. I don't want any other fucking girls because I am not a fucking dyke! Now if you'll excuse me I am going to fucking get out of here have some fucking fun!" Screaming out the last bit Santana felt tears begin to well up in here eyes and quickly pivoted her body around, blowing through the front door and making a bee line for her car.
Brittany stood motionless for a second and then chased after the fiery Latina begging the girl to stop and come back and just talk to her. Her pleas fell on ears deafened by heartache and adrenaline and the Latina hopped over the door of her convertible, slammed the key into the ignition, and tore backwards out of the driveway, leaving Brittany standing alone in a cloud of dust and her own shame.
Santana had torn around the town half-hazardly for close to two hours, sending other cars dodging to the side of the road and people running in fear from the shiny red Dodge Viper SRT-10 as if it was being driven by an angel announcing the end of days. Whilst tearing around corners and gunning through red lights Santana had allowed large tears to fly from her cheeks, paying little attention to the fool she looked like. Her fingers flew as she texted every singly booty call she had ever had, trying to find someone, anyone to help her fuck away the feeling she had right now. After a few rejections and a ton of blatant ignores she tossed the phone to her floorboard in anger and pointed the car in the direction of her house.
Slamming the car into park she jumped out of it and ran to her front door, crashing her key into the lock and stomping into the house, slamming the heavy oak door behind her and finally screaming out the anguish that had been stuck in her throat since she locked up her emotions at Brittany's. Kicking her heels across the living room she ran up the stairs to her bedroom, ripping off her tight dress and throwing it into her closet. She stood half naked in her room for a minute or two eyes closed desperately trying to calm her breathing. When she opened them the first thing they landed on was a picture of her and Brittany leaning against each other smiling widely. Growling she grabbed the trashcan beside her bed and began unceremoniously tossing every shred of Brittany into the bin. Pulling on a pair of cheer shorts and Glee club shirt she ran down the stairs, out the back door, and around the house yanking open the trashcan lid and tossing the entire waste basket into and slamming the lid shut.
Leaning there for a second she finally started to feel the events of the evening catch up to her and she could not remember ever being so exhausted. Dragging herself back into the house she glanced at the calendar on the fridge, a post it note attached to it informed her that her father was going to be out of town for the next week at a conference in Atlanta and he had left a couple of hundred dollars extra in her account. Rolling her eyes she walked over to the liquor cabinet pulled open the door, pulled out a bottle of Scorpion Mezcal Gran Reserve 7 Tequila, shut the door, and not even glancing at the shot glasses grabbed a couple of limes, a knife, and the salt. She had went back to the living room, sat down on the couch, cut up a few limes, and had then preceded to start tossing back fiery gulps from the bottle. And that is where she had been for the last five hours.
She had been hoping that the burn of the liquid would somehow make her stop thinking, or at the very least lull her to sleep. Instead her mind seemed to have gone into over drive, completely picking apart the evening and dissecting it behind her eyes. She was just fucking done. She had been one hundred percent genuine when she told Brittany she and Wheels could go fuck themselves. She was Santana Fucking Lopez and she could have dealt with the first rejection from Brittany just fine. But not now, not after everything that had happened. This was supposed to be her shot. Brittany had told her that if Artie and she weren't together that she would be Santana's, and the blonde had not even given her a chance.
A loud knock from the door interrupted her brooding and grudgingly stood up from the couch, swaying in the air and reaching back to steady herself against the back of the couch. The knocking continued and got louder and she could hear the muffled drunk voice of Finn Hudson calling out her name like a bullhorn.
"Jesus Christ Finnoscence!" She yelled out stumbling to the door and throwing it open. "Would you shut the fuck up before you wake up my neighbors," she growled out looking around the giant and up and down the thankfully still street.
"Hey Santana," Finn grunted out, the smell of cheap cologne mixing with beer heavy on his breath.
"What the fuck do you want Hudson, because I'm really not in the fucking mood to be messed with?" She slurred out, crossing her arms, and trying to glare up at the boy without seeing double.
"But that's why I'm here, to mess with you" he hiccuped confusion obvious on his face. "You texted and said you wanted to fuck so I'm here." He said holding up his phone.
Santana glared at the device and poured through her memories of the last few hours. Oh fuck, she thought to herself suddenly recalling texting like half of the school for a hookup. She couldn't believe she had done that, and she was pissed with herself. Maybe a few hours ago she might have taken someone up on if they had said okay. But not now, and definitely not Frankenteen. "My bad Limp Dick, I didn't mean to send you that text. And anyways aren't you all up in Berry's ass again?"
"Hey my dick is not limp!" He yelled out grabbing his crotch and pushing forwards towards her. "And I broke up with Rachel so it's all good Baby."
Santana nearly puked at the sight before her and internalized the question of how she ever managed to sleep with this idiot. "First off," she ground out, her head starting to pound, "I am not your fucking Baby. And second off, I barely managed to fuck you once without killing you. There is now way in fucking hell I would do it again."
"Hey!" Finn yelled out.
"Hey nothing Finnept. Get the fuck away from my house and go find some other skank to get your dick wet in."
"Fine, I don't wanna fuck a slutty dyke anyways," he muttered turning around. Santana grabbed his meaty arm and spun him towards her quickly, bringing her other hand down hard on the boy's cheek. He reached up to grab his cheek yelping in pain and Santana kicked him hard in the chest, sending him crashing to the ground.
Jumping down to him she grabbed him by the hair and started dragging the scrambling boy towards his truck, throwing open the door she shoved him inside and slammed it shut. Grabbing his ear between her fingers she pulled him next to her face and ground out as evenly as she could, "Go the fuck away Finn and I swear to god if you ever call me a dyke again I will kill you. I am a lesbian. Not a fucking dyke." And with that she pushed him away from her, turned on the spot, and marched back into her house, slamming the door behind her as she listened to Finn tear out of her driveway.
Santana drug her self back into the living room and glared at the bottle of tequila before throwing herself down on the couch, mulling over the facts of her life. She was drunk. She had a migraine. The love of her life was dating a transformer. Rachel Fucking Berry's lap dog had just propositioned her for sex. She said no because fucking eww. She told him she was a lesbian but she didn't really fucking care if anyone knew now because what the fuck was the point anyways. She was 17. Next year was her senior year. And she was now one week into a three month vacation that was already looking really fucking bad. She was Santana Fucking Lopez and she was lonely.