A/N: I heard this song in a game called "FF Crisis Core" and then I researched it's english translation coz it's really a good song then when I see the lyrics, I suddenly thought about Roy Mustang when he went to the North. when you read it, the lyrics will speak for itself. XD I made this fic after that if you want to hear that song with the english translation, visit my profile there's a link there. ^^ Enjoy reading! HAPPY ROYAI DAY!!! ^^
Disclaimer: I don't own FMA and the song I used in this fic
You're Not Alone
The cold wind circled around her as she walked on this land full of snow. Everything she sees is white and coldness is gripping her whole frame. It's her first time coming here and she came here for a reason. For Riza Hawkeye, she'd do anything just to see that person who walked away from them two years ago and maybe, make some sense out of him, that's what Lieutenant Havoc requested just before she departed to the North.
After a few more stride, she finally saw the small wooden house just like how Lieutenant Havoc described it. She quickens her steps until she arrived at the doorstep of that house. Catching her breath, she tightened the thick cloak she's wearing around her as another cold breeze passed by. She stared at the door, knowing that the person she needs to see is inside.
She raised her hand to knock, hesitating at first, but she finally landed loud thuds on the wooden door with her clenched fist. She knocked again after a few seconds. That's when the door finally opened and she saw the black haired and onyx eyed man she's wanted to see.
"Brigadier General Roy Mustang." She uttered softly.
"Lieutenant Hawkeye." Roy Mustang replied formally.
He opened the door widely so Riza could come in. Riza glanced at the four walled room. It was dimly lit with the only light coming from the fireplace. She turned to look at Roy again who already closed the door.
"You can sit down Lieutenant." He said with an unemotional tone.
Riza sat down on one of the chairs and Roy sat down across her.
"What can I do for you Lieutenant?" he asked. Riza could still feel the coldness in his voice.
"Sir…"
"Lieutenant, you're not supposed to call me sir. If you remember, I've become a corporal after I resigned my commission."
"Yes, I know that…" Riza said, her voice coming out into a whisper.
She gazed at his eye, he's still wearing the eye patch over his blinded left eye, she found that onyx orb empty.
Your inner eye has clouded over so much
That it's impossible for you to see
She never knew that their colonel, no, Brigadier General will reside to this kind of being. Seeing those empty eyes, she felt sadness within her. It's like Roy Mustang has been blinded in the inside.
"I'm here to talk to you." she said after a long moment.
"Talk to me? What do you want to talk about?" he asked without looking at her.
Does any emotion still reside
Within the depths of your heart?
That unemotional tone again, she's so sick of that. Has his heart become hard as steel and cold as ice? He does just became so numb and unfeeling, his face and how he talked tells it all.
Having the entire world at your fingertips
Is that what you call happiness?
"It's been a while since we last saw you. Aren't you going back to central? She asked, not taking her eyes off his face.
"No. I can't. You know that." he answered.
"Is this about what happened back then?" she asked again.
Roy didn't answer. He tilted his head to the side and he gazed at the fireplace.
Why? Why do you look up into the lonely heaven?
Why, can't you laugh a little?
Then he averted his gaze to the window and he stared at the gray sky. Riza remembered the times when they were still in the headquarters, when the Colonel Roy Mustang succumbs to his laziness, he will stare outside his office window and gaze at the view outside. Looking at him now, she would rather see that lazy look of him back then. She longed to see his smiling face, his impish smirk and his playful laughter.
I understand this character of yours,
This disposition that is incapable
Of putting anything into words
How many times did she saw this characteristic of his? Roy Mustang is a kind of person who never tells nor shows what he really feels. Riza knew him more than anyone else, through the years that she watched his back; she had learned many things about him. So she understands whatever is happening to him right now.
"You can still go back…" she finally said after a long silence.
"I don't have any reasons to go back." Mustang answered.
Riza was taken aback by his answer. Why? Why did he said that? how can he say that?
"What?" Riza said, looking at him again with eyes full of disbelief.
"I can't find any reason to go back anymore." He said again, this time he was able to look at her.
What was it that came to be in your sequestered past?
These eyes of yours, they refuse to meet the world
Is this all because of what happened in the past? When he left the two years ago, he never told them the real reason why and now she's thinking that what happened before could be the reason. If that is it, she found it so unreasonable.
"Why don't you just move on…"
"Pardon?" Roy looked at Riza, wondering about her question.
"Why can't you accept the fact that past is past? That you can't do anything about it anymore."
Roy looked at her, his emotion not changing. It was still that uncaring look.
"Why did you have to stop…" Riza said once again. She can't stop from being sad.
All alone with only the lonely night to cradle you
Is this the warmth that you have come to know?
Riza looked around her again. It pained her that Roy Mustang stays here alone without too much contact with the outside world. It must be so lonely without anyone to accompany him for those two years but she knew he's already used to it…or not. He looked so sad in that moment…the coldness of the place intertwines with his cold soul.
Why? Why are you concerned with the way you look?
Why, can you not open your heart a little?
"I am a monster Riza…those memories are still here…the blood on my hands will never be washed…I can't do anything about that…I can't return…"
Riza looked at him with eyes full of pain. So, she's right…
"But you have your dream…"
"It doesn't matter anymore…" Roy replied, slightly raising his voice.
"But why…" Riza whispered. She can't take this anymore.
You've been taxed with this heavy burden for so long
It's time that you learn to accept yourself
When will he accept what happened and move on? When will he ever stop blaming himself?
Riza stood up and she gathered his cloak.
"Roy Mustang I'm saying this again, you can return anytime. We will be waiting for you." she looked at Roy again, "We will wait for you…I will wait for you…even if it's take forever…"
Roy looked back at her, she knew that one day Roy Mustang, the great flame alchemist, will soon realize that he's needed and he's not at fault at all…
"Always remember that you're not alone…I am here for you…all of us…The past doesn't matter..." that's all and she left. She didn't bother to look back because she didn't want to see his face and she doesn't want him to see the tears that are now gushing on her face.
Have more faith in yourself…
A/N: OKAAAAYYY... so what do you think? Gah. This is the 2nd shortest fic i've ever made. haha. Please Review! Thanks again for reading! again, HAPPY ROYAI DAY!!! ^^
P.S. The song i used is titled "Why" by Ayaka and there could be a sequel to this... XD