DISCLAIMER: PURPLE AND ZIM BELOG TO JHONEN, I OWN NOTHING BUT THE IDEA! NOTHING! NOTHING! YOU HEAR ME, SQUIRREL BOY? NOTHING!
KINA: ME AND THE SQIRREL ARE FRIENDS!
SHUT UP, KINA, YOU STUPID ROBOT! NOW, YOU PEOPLE! R&R!
A/N: before any of you ask, I hate calling them red and purple, so, I call them by names I gave them.
Red=Kim
Purple=Tami
Yes, I know they're male. So, don't ask that either.
Purple stepped out of his spittle runner, and looked at the sniveling little defect. Tami, what have you done to that adorable little creature? Whatever it was, it must have been sick and uirken. He was right. He had once again told Zim how worthless he was, cracking the not-really-an- invader's fragile ego.Normally, Zim would've freaked knowing the tallest was in his base, But, Zim was ranting on, ignoring the "irken has landed" alarm flashing on screen." I'll take over the planet by myself!" Zim ranted, upset that the tallest told him not to call them… again. There would be periods like this where the tallest told Zim to give up, but, then, a week later, they'd bounce back. "I don't need the massive, or the tallest! I'll take over the planet by myself! And then, I won't cry anymore! WAAAAAH!" he bawled. Zim's still crying. Why is he crying? He thought. "Oh, what's the point of even trying? They'll just tell me to stop calling them again. Because I'm a short defect! I can't do anything for my people!" he just continued to bawl, thinking only negative things about himself. Short, defect, criminal, loser! Why do I even exist? I should just die. But, then,Zim felt a tender, comforting claw on his cheek. The claw was surrounded in metal, and the two digits were extremely scissor like. Zim was about to scream, "who are you? Get out of my house!" but, the voice of the person caused Zim to stop in his tracks. "Two of those statements are true, Zim. You are short, and you are a defect. But, you can do something for your people." Zim looked up into Tami's sweet purple eyes. "What is it I can do for my people, Sir?" Tami lifted the tree foot two invader, and kissed him. "You can love me. And, stop calling me "sir"." "What do you want me to call you?" Zim asked in confusion that he was aloud to call him anything but "my tallest" or "sir". "You can call me Tami." "Yes…Tami?" Zim forced. The unfamiliar word was like calling GIR Arnold. It wasn't like he didn't remember the tallest's real names. Heck, he was probably the only Irken who did. But, they had all been forbidden to call them by anything other than their eye colors. "ZIM would like to know why you are here." "I want you to bear my smeets." Zim pulled away from the tall Irken, pulled out a laser and aimed it at his leader's head. "Who are you, and what have you done with the real tallest?" "I am the real tallest!" "Uh-huh. Start talking, imposter." Tami sighed deeply. I knew this was going to be difficult. But, Zim's curiosity and paranoia is one of the many things that makes him cute. So, Tami spent the next hour and a half trying to convince Zim that he was really him. While making little progress, Tami learned things about himself that he didn't even know. Finally, Zim insisted on measuring the exact height of the tallest. "You're at least four units too tall." Zim sassed. "How can the tallest be taller than the tallest?" "Because red and I round our heights. If someone asks how tall we are, it's easier just to say 217 units than 217.10018 units." "Oh." Zim's expression was the same one it always was. Tami was sure what he was thinking. The tallest are allowed to round their height DOWN without loosing any of their authority? "Anyway, now do you believe I'm me?" "Yes si- Tami! I'm so sorry!" "Don't be. That was funny. Anyway, do you remember why I'm here?" "Uhh…" Computer cut into his master's response. "Something about bearing your smeets, my tallest?" "Oh, right. I want to dance with you. Zim, I came to tell you why I keep pushing you away. I… I…" Zim got on his PAK legs, and scooped up his leader. "You like me." He said, with a smirk. "Well, I-" Tami started, then, realizing he was defeated responded, "yes." Zim pullet his leader close, and kissed him. "Computer," Zim said, never taking his eyes off his tallest. The two zipped upstairs on Zim's PAK legs, neither expecting the turn of events that was to happen.
Jeccisa walked up to her house, imagining everything she hated. The 8 foot 9 brunette Irken found this made her more serious about her mission. She imagined her tallest's stupid blonde 14-year old daughter, Kari. Oh, how she hated that girl! The only image she had that she hated more than the girl she hated, but was forced to show respect to, was her father kissing tallest purple. If they got married she would be princess Kari's… ugh… sister! She was coming up on her house now. Oh, look. Daddy has an irken over. She thought. Though I have no idea who would be caught dead with daddy. When she opened the door, she saw something she wished she hadn't. Her daddy dancing with the tallest. Body on body, antennae intertwined, even though the two men were covered by a blanket, Jeccisa let out a scream in horror. Zim and Purple looked up, and saw the young girl staring at them in horror as they danced together. They got out from under the blanket to reveal that they were indeed wearing pants. This did little to console the panicked 16-year-old invader. "Jeccie, honey, daddy can explain!" Jeccisa ran upstairs, away from her father, and into her bedroom. Zim went back over to the tallest. "We'll let her settle to this for a while." The two Irkens tore off their pants, and continued to dance while Jeccisa sat in her bedroom, crying, thinking, if I could've stopped him, mommy, I would've!