So I had finished reading City of Lost Souls. And I couldn't get over Magnus and Alec's break up. Like, seriously, this is the first break-up in a book that has ever left me this empty. I was so shocked. Like I had literally read through the last ten or so chapters, screaming "WHAT THE HELL!" at my bedroom mirror. But reading this, I was shocked, literally shocked. So instead of having to wait until 2014 to see where the break-up went from there, I had to write out my feels.

I'm still kind of undecided as to whether this will stay a one-shot or become a multiple-chapter story. I apologise if some people seem a little out of character. But I do hope you enjoy it! :)

After Magnus left me in the train tunnel, I went out and tried to seek revenge on the woman who played me, who ruined everything I had with the one person I loved who loved me back the same way. But after that little girl told me she killed her, I went numb. Sure, I was mad at her for avenging the person I desperately wanted to kill. But I also just felt empty – so empty.

I stayed there at that subway station for what seemed like forever, my witchlight the bright glowing light in the dark. I was shaking so hard I could have shattered to pieces right then and there. But I didn't. Instead, I stood up and walked back to the apartment, to collect my stuff and leave.

It was a wonder that I didn't break down and cry right when I saw Magnus walking away from me, his back turned on me. I couldn't cry. I was too numb to cry. It was all my fault. I don't know why I trusted Camille. It was stupid, so stupid. I trusted the wrong person. I should have trusted Magnus, who loved me and cared about me in ways no one ever has before. But instead, I put my trust in Camille, who had already cunningly deceived me and tricked me.

And I was paying the consequences.

I didn't feel like me, walking back to his apartment. It felt like I was watching another person do this, a person who looked like me. It felt like I felt what he was feeling, but it wasn't me. It wasn't real. But this isn't a dream. Everything that Magnus believed about me, had felt about me was over, and I was going to erase myself from his life.

I wonder if it was really true. Was he really thinking about giving up his immortality just to be with me? To stay with me and grow old with me? Why didn't I trust that he was? I knew that I was desperate for him to stay with me. I was so damn afraid that he would just move onto another Shadowhunter or Downworlder after I was gone. I didn't want to just be another person, just another past lover to him. But I didn't trust that he loved me enough to think these things through on his own. And that was my biggest mistake.

I reached his apartment fast. Its location was branded onto my brain, and making my way there from anywhere was as automatic as breathing. I turned my key in the door and walked up the steps to where Magnus lived. I looked around, and breathed in the scent that had become home to me in such a short time. Closing the door behind me, I started to collect my things, like wiping traces of chalk from a blackboard.

And all through this, I didn't cry either. I just silently walked through the apartment, taking what was mine and packing it into my large duffel bag. All my clothes from the drawers. All my things from the bathroom. Magnus's cat, Chairman Meow, followed me through the apartment as I took my things and packed them away, my movements almost robotic. Once I was sure I had everything, I found myself back in the living room, writing a note for him.

I should have trusted you. I realize how stupid I was and I truly am sorry.

I love you and I will never forget you, Magnus Bane.

I didn't sign my name at the bottom because I knew he'd know it was from me. I also didn't include the part about Camille being killed because I knew he'd find that out soon enough. Folding the note in half, I placed my key on top of it. I patted Chairman Meow goodbye before breathing in the scent of Magnus's apartment one last time and closing the door behind me. Then I walked out of the building and towards the Institute.

I really didn't know what to believe, or what to think as I walked towards the Institute and away from everything I had with Magnus. I again felt like I was watching someone do this, feeling someone go through this emptiness. But I still knew it was me. And I didn't know what to think about that.

When I entered the Institute doors, I immediately went to where my family lived and where my room was and put my stuff there. Then I wandered aimlessly through the familiar halls, having nothing to do in particular. I still hadn't shed a single tear yet.

Then I ran into my sister, Isabelle. She looked very caught by surprise to see me.

"Alec! What are you doing back here? I thought you were living with Magnus now," she said.

And I guess that's what unravelled me, being reminded that I should have still been with Magnus. Because I burst into tears and slipped to the ground. Isabelle knelt next to me, rocking me back and forth as I wept. It should have felt weird for me, because I'm older than her and I should be comforting her when she cried. But she's Isabelle, she never cries. It should have felt weird, but I was too exhausted and too shattered to think about it.

Isabelle picked me up off the ground and took me back to our part of the Institute. She made both of us coffee and told me to spill everything. So I did. I told her about how I was insecure about Magnus's past lovers, and how I didn't want to be just another lover to him. And how I was so desperate to keep him with me that it led to my selfishness. I told her about how I trusted Camille, but should have trusted Magnus because he trusted me and loved me. I told her about everything that happened in the train tunnel, how he said it was over and told me he never wanted to see me or any of us ever again, and how he was sick of being our pet warlock. Then I burst into tears again, because he was never just a pet warlock to me. He meant more than that to me, and I felt ashamed that he felt that way.

After I was finished, Isabelle spoke.

"I'm just going to come out and say it. Alec, what you did was very stupid. But I understood that you were insecure and desperate," she said. "I understand that. I don't blame you for that. And I can see how sorry you were for hurting him. But as much as you wish it, nothing can take back what you did. No rune, no spell. So I guess what we do now is pick up the pieces. And I will be here for you. Jace, too, when he gets better."

And then she hugged me. I hugged her back tightly, because I loved her and I needed her strength and her steadiness right now. And I appreciated that she had decided to stand by me and help me heal, even though she was family and that's what family members do.

But deep down inside, there was this part of me that would never feel whole again without Magnus. Without his blazing bright personality, the way he looked at the world and how the world looked at him. There was still this part of me that desperately needed what only Magnus had given me.

Even though I had Isabelle and Jace here to help me heal, I knew there was this part of me that would never be the same again.

I really hope you thought that was good. Please favourite and review, I'd love to hear your opinions.

Thanks for reading, guys :)