A Giraffes Eye View of Noah's Ark

by The M.H.T.of R

In my Bible history, in linguistics, I was supposed to choose a subject from the creation to the flood. I chose writing a first person account of the ark from the viewpoint of a seasick giraffe. This is the result. Please Read & Review!

"Ug! This horrible, terrible ark! I'm glad to be alive and all, couldn't the Lord have devised a less wet way to wipe out the entire population of the earth? The only way I like water is confined in a nice, small pond which you can leisurely sip from any time you please, NOT the entire world covered in it and you stuck in a dinky little toy boat with your young wife about to give birth any day now. And all that cooing and cawing, roaring and howling from the other animals! A giraffe couldn't get a moments peace if his life depended on it! It can't be good for the little one. And don't even talk to me about the food! This tasteless dried stuff they call hay! I say, the baby shall be born stunted and malformed at this rate! He needs the juicy life giving leaves of the acacia tree. That is what giraffes have always eaten, but ever since that garden mishap, things have not been as they should. Stupid humans, a giraffe would never have eaten from that tree! And even talking to that snake! Such a mistake! It's a fitting punishment the Lord gave that detestable beast, having to crawl with its belly on the ground. We giraffes know better, that why we stand tall and proud. We are the tallest of those with fur* you know- Ack! What was that awful jolt? I told you this thing was not safe. Ah, there goes one of the birds to get the new from Noah's dove. Let's hope it hurries for once. Humph, here it comes back, all in a tizzy. I wouldn't be surprised if this silly ship had sprung a leak and we're all going to drown after all. So, the news is that we've landed on top of some sort of mountain. The others are too excited for their own good. "A hope deferred maketh the heart sick." It's preposterous to think that just because the rain has stopped, and we're stuck on top of some rock, that we are saved. In fact, as soon as the water recedes some more, likely as not we'll all plummet to our watery graves. At the very least, we won't get out of this stinking mud hole for another 220 days#. Don't you think so? I certainly hope they have enough food.

A.N. *The "tallest of those with fur" is referencing, of course, the dinosaurs.

#The "220 days" is because after the ark landed on top of Mt. Ararat it was about another 220 days before God let everybody out of the ark.