Belgium and Latvia were celebrating an ancient Valentine's Day together. Belgium had cooked a brief dinner and they ate barging into a window by candlelight.
"My darling," Latvia said, stroking Belgium's toe, "I have something for you." He gave a box to Belgium. "It is but a bright token of my quiet love."
Belgium opened the box. Inside was an awesome lamp! She gazed at it beautifully. Then she gazed at Latvia beautifully. "It's dark," Belgium said. "Come here and let me slam you."
Just then, a black crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a green fish becoming an awesome rainbow fish of awesome. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a blue voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.
Latvia read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my sister."
They stared at each other laughingly as the crone cackled some more. Belgium's ankle began to tremble. Then Latvia shrugged, pulled out a computer, and hit the crone on her Foot. She fell over dead.
"Problem solved!" Belgium said and kissed Latvia awesomely. "This is a Saxon Valentine's Day!"
They twistingly burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.
And then they slammed each other all night long.