Author's note: This is my first ever slash fic. So please be gentle on the flames! Reviews will be much appreciated.
Chapter 1
He is… handsome.
Not conventionally so, I would admit, with his pallor and dark shadows, but he is strangely alluring in his own way. He sits like a monkey, and grasps things by the fingers- as though a palm had never been known to him. A mop of messy black hair becomes him, and his sloppy clothes accentuate the frailness of his figure. Devouring sweets continuously, and yet never gaining weight, he is a food lover's dream.
Enigmatic, intelligent and falsely innocuous- I like to watch him. Subtly, of course, with tiny flicks of the eyes and the lowering of the lashes so none may see its direction. He is danger and beauty at its purest form- which moths, should they have tongues to speak, can tell us. Enjoy the light, but get too close… and you cease to exist.
Never before have I met any who possessed that same… how shall I call it? Passion, of mine. What endures me to others, above my looks and skill of tongue, lies in the power of the mind. Men draw close to those who are strong, and in this age where the brave are slaves to the crafty, I am king. L should be my right hand man, to rule beside me- I wish to enjoy the thrill of his keen brain working next to mine, against mine, all day and to eternity. He awakes in me fire, fire and excitement that I have never experienced before, the adrenaline rush that pulses and gives me joy.
When we gaze upon each other's faces, there is that odd jolt I get from no one else. What is it, I wonder? Is it eagerness? Anticipation? Or was it fear? Something unspoken, like two armies facing each other upon a field, it passes and meets between. It speaks of bitter tension, of death, destruction and kindles in its wake that blood lust in all men. The longing for the ringing of blades, of shattered shields and the spurt of blood. Powers opposing, striving for dominion.
My eyes turn to look at him, and his keen gaze meets mine.
Grim suspicion fills his eyes, and yet I can see the shadow of doubt hovering at the edges. Or was it hope? No doubt he longs, like I do, for what the other can give. But like two sides of the coin- we are doomed to be forever apart. Time is moving, and the day of reckoning, when the coin is finally flipped, is coming closer.
And only one will prevail.
I grasp him as he falls, his black hair whipping across my face like fire- I cannot help but think about what life might had been, if we had met prior to the emergence of the note. I remember the kiss, as soft and silent as the night. We were chained together, under L's command, although now I wonder whether it was merely precaution that drove him to do it.
He must have thought I was asleep when he came- I could sense him hanging over me, though I did not open my eyes. A man of darkness and shadow, I knew him not more than the day we first met. Was it wrong to want to probe him, to touch him, and to discover the man beneath the cloak? A gentle brush in the dark, like the breeze upon my lips- and then it was gone. My eyes open, but it had already passed. He just looked at me, quizzically, as though knowing not what he just did or why it had happened.
I reach up to him, and pull his head close to mine. Something seemed to light up in those dead grey eyes, and I seemed to see fire, and only fire before my eyes closed and our lips met.
He said nothing the next day, or the days after- but I knew what he meant. A promise, tentative- of the future. And by saying nothing, I too was complicit with that promise. And it would be a lie to say I did not desire it so.
But all must be sacrificed for the sake of the world.
Even now, as his eyes grow dim and weak, I still have to stifle that overwhelming urge to fall on my knees and cry to him to awaken. To beg, and to say that I was sorry- and that I loved him.
But I must steel myself.
A god cannot suffer the fate of mortals, to be made vulnerable through passion and love. He, no… L is dead. The final obstacle is gone. The choice had been made, and I cannot go back. The only way is that ahead- and for glory, power and immortality, a lover's life seems little a price.
I smile.
His eyes close, and his chest heaves upwards one last time- before falling, shuddering, back.
End.