title The Hangover
author patientalien
rating PG-13
summary Anakin is Ahsoka's best friend - and nobody's going to take him away from her
notes Based on a conversation with citizenjess. I can't remember how it started, but it ended with her saying "And then Ahsoka makes a Human Centipede". I did not include that, but everything else is intact. Title stolen from the movie of the same name; you'll understand.
Anakin wakes up into darkness. He blinks, realizing belatedly that he's chained hand and foot to something - a bed, maybe? The last thing he remembers is Dex's Diner with Ahsoka, eating some sliders, drinking a gizer ale (just one, right?), and then... waking up.
He's just deciding that he should probably quit drinking when he hears it: a faint, somewhat-deranged off-key singing: "We're the two best friends that anyone could have..."
Anakin swallows; he knows that voice, but he is still confused about the why behind it. "Ahsoka?" he ventures, hoping that maybe he's just dreaming, still in his own bed sleeping off whatever he did after dinner the previous night.
The lights flip on, and Anakin suddenly realizes he is not dreaming. The walls are plastered with holos - of him. Of him, and of Ahsoka. Any holo that contains another being in it has been altered; he sees one of himself, Ahsoka, and Obi-Wan, and Obi-Wan's face has been blurred. He feels a sick dread settling in the pit of his stomach.
"Oh, Master," Ahsoka sing-songs, stepping into his line of vision. She looks... like Ahsoka, maybe a little more wild-eyed than normal. Anakin's not sure what he was expecting, really, but the fact Ahsoka still looks like herself only serves to make him more uneasy.
"Ahsoka, what's going on?" he asks, straining against the chains. He can't use the Force, but he can't feel a suppressor anywhere on him. He does, however, still feel groggy, sluggish.
His apprentice gives him a smile. "My poor Master," she says. "I'm going to make everything better for you - for us!" Her eyes harden suddenly. "They were planning on taking you from me. Reassigning me to someone else."
Anakin swallows heavily; it's not the first he'd heard of it. In fact, he'd taken Ahsoka out for dinner the previous night partially to simply spend time with her before the inevitable. He has been struggling with his feelings of attachment to her, with letting go; he knows that this is a test for both of them; but Ahsoka obviously is not performing well on it.
"Ahsoka, if it's the will of the Force..." he attempts.
"The will of the Force doesn't care about us!" Ahsoka exclaims, throwing her hands out from her sides. "But I understand, Master. I know, we should be together!" Her smile widens. "Forever."
"Ahsoka!" Anakin shouts. He struggles to harness the Force, an act that leaves him breathless and light-headed. "What did you do to me?" he asks, glancing around again at the macabre collection of holos.
Shrugging, the Padawan saunters over to him, checks the bindings on his wrists and ankles. "Don't worry, it's just temporary," she reassures him - and he does not feel particularly reassured.
"You realize somebody's gonna come looking for us eventually," Anakin points out, wracking his mind to try and remember what the kriff happened the previous night, trying to reach out with the Force for Obi-Wan, for Windu, for anybody. "Obi-Wan'll come looking."
Ahsoka looks at him, doe-eyed. "Oh, Master Obi-Wan's been... called away," she says, and Anakin's heart drops into his stomach. This can't be happening. This has to just be a dream, a hallucination, something. Anything but reality.
"There are others," Anakin reminds her.
"Like your Senator Amidala?" Ahsoka asks, in a tone that makes Anakin feel extremely uncomfortable. "She won't be getting in our way either."
"What?" Anakin snaps, pulling at the chains harder. The thought of something happening to Padme, the thought of Ahsoka doing something to his wife, makes his vision go splotchy.
"Oh, she's fine, Master," Ahsoka replies as if reading his mind. "But you broke her heart, breaking up with her last night and all."
Anakin blinks. "But I didn't..." and realizes he can't remember. He just hopes Padme is smart enough to know when his 'I want a divorce' announcement is drug-induced.
Ahsoka begins to wander the room, humming the same tune as before, gathering some medical implements into a small box. "We'll be together forever," she says, and holds up a needle. "All you need is a little... oh, I think it's called a prefrontal lobotomy."
Eyes widening, Anakin can't help the small whimper that escapes him. Without the his lightsaber, without the Force, he feels completely vulnerable, and it's not something he's used to feeling. He doesn't like it one bit. "I've researched it," Ahsoka tells him. "It's supposed to be pretty painless, but I can give you something if you're worried about it." She gives him a meaningful look that Anakin can't discern the meaning of. "You weren't feeling much pain last night."
"Ahsoka..."
"Don't worry, Master," she says, stroking his hair back gently, lovingly. "I don't think any less of you. Though it's probably a good idea to be more careful about who pours your drinks." She shrugs. "Well, soon it won't be an issue." She leans over, kisses him softly. "They assigned me to you so I could take care of you," she says. "And I plan to keep taking care of you. They can't keep us apart."
"What if I don't want to be with you?" Anakin asks, getting the feeling he already knows the answer.
Ahsoka brandishes the needle. "Does it matter?" she responds. "Master, you know you would have fought the Council to keep me. You care about me as much as I... care... about you."
"I taught you better than this," Anakin spats, struggling. "You're betterthan this, Ahsoka!"
"You taught me about fighting to keep the people you love safe," Ahsoka counters. "You taught me that it's okay to love, to... to... do whatever it takes. And that's exactly what I'm doing." She sinks the needle into his skin, and the last thing he hears before going under is Ahsoka's thin voice singing - "We're the two best friends that anyone could have... we're the two best friends that anyone could have... We're the two best..."
ENDING 1:
The disappearance of Anakin Skywalker and his apprentice Ahsoka Tano is widely reported on the Holonet. There's no evidence that Skywalker was lost in battle - in fact, reports indicate that he was on Coruscant when he disappeared. There are rumors, of course; Padme Amidala, a close friend of both Skywalker and Tano, reports Skywalker acting strangly just prior to falling off the face of the planet - and the galaxy. Obi-Wan Kenobi does not comment to the media, though he has his own ideas, all involving Anakin's refusal to follow the Council's recommendation for Ahsoka to be advanced to Knighthood at the age of seventeen.
In a small house on Dantooine, a human and Togruta make their home. The Togruta guards the house jealously, putting up booby traps and security systems. The human spends most of his time sitting, being cared for by the young female. Those who have gotten close to them mention the small scars in the corner of the young man's eyes, and the blank expression on his face.
ENDING 2:
When Anakin wakes again, his hands immediately go to his face. He realizes immediately that he's no longer restrained, and he can feel the Force again. He's not sure where he is, but it's not the room Ahsoka has been holding him in. "Hello?" he attempts; his throat is sore, and his mouth tastes sour, like stale vomit.
"Well hello there," comes an unexpected voice.
Anakin sees Obi-Wan enter his line of vision. "Master! I thought Ahsoka killed you!" His relief feels heavy in the Force.
Obi-Wan arches an eyebrow, crosses his arms over his chest. "No," he says blandly.
"But she..." Anakin sits up quickly, and then regrets it as his stomach churns.
"Anakin, what do you remember from last night?" Obi-Wan asks, sounding amused.
Anakin shakes his head. "We went to Dex's. I woke up and Ahsoka was... I don't know, Master, she's gone crazy."
Obi-Wan looks like he's trying very hard not to burst out laughing. "Ahsoka was Knighted yesterday," he explains. "And there was a party for her at Dex's."
Anakin furrows his brow. "And then she kidnapped me!" he concludes.
"No," Obi-Wan replies. "And then you proceeded to mix alcohol and death sticks - against my recommendation, by the way - and proceeded to pass out. After, of course, making a huge fool of yourself."
Anakin frowns. "That doesn't sound like something I'd do..." Except it kind of does, and it kind of explains a lot. "Well, irregardless, I'm glad everybody's not dead or lobotomized or divorced or crazy or whatever."
"Right," Obi-Wan says, sounding dubious. "I'm going to go now. You threw up in my bathtub. Please clean it before you leave."
Anakin has never been more happy to do something so gross.