A/N 1: You should be warned that I'm Australian and while I have attempted to use Americanisms as much as possible there's a good chance I may have misused some of them or let some Australianisms sneak through.

Dave Karofsky studied the mirror intently, trying to make sense of the reflection staring back at him. What he saw looked like a stereotypical high school jock. Not the super-attractive, charismatic, leading man type that girls in lame chick flicks swooned over. More like the extras they hired to flesh out the rest of the team that had to look as ordinary as possible so the star would stand out.

Big, chunky.

"…chubby boys who sweat too much…"

No, don't think about that.

Not ugly, but definitely not attractive either. Probably not particularly intelligent.

Not true, but it's easier if I let them think that.

Popular enough. Respected, but never going to be top dog.

Gay.

How in the hell was that supposed to fit with the image in front of him? He just looked painfully average. There wasn't the tiniest little thing in his appearance to suggest that there was anything unusual about him. Not like Evans with his too-blonde hair or Hudson with his tendency to absent-mindedly hum Journey songs.

He was at a loss to figure out how to reconcile what he knew about himself with what the world was constantly telling him he was supposed to be. He'd spent so long fighting it with every ounce of his being, trying desperately to be normal.

Whatever the hell that means.

He'd spent every day constantly looking over his shoulder. Carefully analysing every question to try and calculate the answer the person asking wanted to hear.

Is that what I was supposed to say? Did I say it right?

But it had all gone wrong. One mistake had led to another and another and it had all snowballed until he was buried at the centre of gigantic ball of chaos with no idea how to even start digging himself out.

In a way, it seemed Kurt leaving had turned out to be a good thing for both of them. Kurt had found some fancy private school boyfriend and come back even more confident than he had been before Dave had started using him as a target for his own self-loathing, and Dave had had time to cool off without being constantly reminded of his problems and get over his crush on Kurt. Now the only feelings he had regarding his former victim were an overwhelming sense of guilt tinged with admiration and a little jealousy. He was haunted by images of Kurt's face that were burned into his memory.

Shock, horror, disbelief, hurt, as he pushed Dave away in the locker room.

Complete and utter defeat, not even bothering to pick himself up, just hugging his knees to his chest on the hallway floor.

Fear, anger, as Dave took the wedding cake topper from him. Not as much anger as there should be. Don't let me do this to you.

And the one that hurt the most to think about: total compassion and understanding. "I know. I know."

Kurt had every right to despise him for all eternity but he had not only forgiven him, he had tried to help him.

And you repaid him by leaving him on the dance floor to face all that humiliation alone. Good job Dave.

And then, irony of ironies, Kurt had come to apologise to him.

"I should never have pushed you to come out. It was selfish of me. You need to deal with this in your own time, and you need to learn to accept yourself first."

I'm trying, Kurt, I swear.

Ok, here goes:

Dave looked his reflection squarely in the eye and took a deep breath. "I'm Dave Karofsky. I play football. I used to play hockey… I also kind of like dancing… I'm good at math, especially calculus… I'm…"

Come on, you coward, just say it. It's just two little words.

"I'm Dave Karofsky and I'm… I'm gay."

He'd expected to feel different but he didn't really. Well, he felt a little stupid for sitting there alone in an empty house talking to his reflection, but other than that, nothing. Maybe that was a good thing; it meant he was just confirming something he'd already accepted was true.

He supposed it wasn't really the words that mattered, more the decision they represented. He had no plans to say those words to anyone else any time soon but he was done with lying to himself. It had somehow managed to hurt him more than acknowledging that there was an inherent part of him that would make so many people hate him without question. Now he had over two months where he wouldn't have to deal with all the expectations everyone at school had of him. He could do this. He had to. For his own sanity and the sanity of everyone around him.

A/N 2: I know I'm not much of a writer. I have never written fanfiction before and quite probably never will again. But this story just kind of forced its way into my head and wouldn't leave until I wrote it down, and once I had it written down I figured I may as well post it. I'm planning to post a chapter a day and there are going to be either 10 or 11 chapters. (I've written 11 but I don't like odd numbers so I think I'm going to combine two of them.)