Unexpected Situations
I would like to start this story off by saying that I am not a slut. Just putting that out there.
Okay, so no, I didn't 'like' Scorpius when I fucked him. And no, he wasn't my first time. (And no, I wasn't drunk, or under the influence of a spell, or potion, or anything else.)
But it's not like I sleep around, or anything. I was sixteen when I first had sex, and that was a drunken awkward scuffle with Jade Carter, a Ravenclaw sixth year. And aside from him, the only other person I had slept with was my boyfriend at the time, Gryffindor seventh year Cam Jackson. So… not too bad, okay?
As to how I ended up fucking Scorpius…
I never particularly liked Scorpius Malfoy. It's a family thing. Well, except for Louis. He didn't get the same warning Al and I did about not getting too friendly with 'the Malfoy boy', as my father still insists upon calling him. Anyway, Louis and Scorpius met on the train and became fast friends, despite the fact they got sorted into different houses. And then Al, being so close with Louis, joined their little gang and they became like the three Musketeers, joining the Hogwarts houses.
The whole of Hogwarts found it a bit odd that these bestest of friends remained bestest of friends when Al was a Gryffindor, Louis was a Ravenclaw and Scorpius a Slytherin. And they all grew up to be the heartthrobs of their respective houses- and the rest of the school.
Now while that seems like a sweet but utterly irrelevant tale, it really isn't. You see, because of this friendship, Scorpius spent a lot of his holiday time at the Burrow. So the whole family kind of had to get used to him. To at least tolerate him.
I was one of the few that just tolerated him. Why? Well... no particular reason, really. We just never clicked. I said I never particularly liked him- well, I didn't particularly dislike him either. He was sort of a nonentity.
It's not like we were enemies or anything, we just weren't friends. We were kind of like… acquaintances. Who spoke, but…never really took much notice of each other. Except for those few times when we argued about silly insignificant things.
Also, he was friends with my cousins, and I spent the first ten years of my life hanging with my cousins so when I got to Hogwarts, I kinda made a point of making friends who were not related to me.
But at home, we were all still buddies, so I hung out with my family and Scorpius during the holidays.
It was the summer before our seventh year and I'd just broken up with Cam- he was finishing school, and I've always been a bit iffy about long-distance relationships… and he'd also been caught cheating on me, the fucking prick. He did not get away with that unpunished. I am the daughter of Hermione Weasley, I am quite good at spellwork, unfortunately for him.
So Scorpius, Louis, Al and I were all chilling in the boys' tent before supper one balmy summer evening, and my cousins were being crude and disgusting- in short, boys- talking about the available 'talent' in the school, while I listened with a sort of horrified fascination (okay, so I found it highly amusing and wasn't really revolted, it's not like I don't do the same about guys with my girlfriends, so…)
'Hey, Scor, you going to play the field this year?' Al asked, grinning at the blonde Slytherin.
Scorpius gave a wry laugh. 'Definitely. Felicity isn't the only one who can sleep around.'
'Ah, fuck, dude, get over her. She was just a tart who couldn't keep her legs closed,' Louis groaned, his head dropping back.
'And you are the one who decided to date the slag,' I commented.
Scorpius raised his eyebrow at me. 'Your boyfriend's the one who couldn't keep it in his pants,' he remarked.
'Ex-boyfriend, thank you very much.' I gave him a tight smile. 'And I'm not the one who keeps bringing their ex up.'
Oh yes, did I mention that Cam was caught dick deep in Felicity Marlow, Scorpius' girlfriend at the time? Well, now you know.
'I don't give a shit about the cheating cow,' Scorpius declared loudly. 'Your rat faced ex can have her, she was crap in the sack anyway.'
'She's probably a lot better now. Cam's a pretty good teacher,' I replied.
'Delving into territory not suitable for related ears,' Al remarked, looking as if he'd smelt something bad.
Scorpius quirked his eyebrows at me. 'Really? Well, maybe we should have cuckolded them first. Whaddaya think, Rose, you reckon we'd've had a bit more fun than they did?' He smirked and raked his gaze over me. 'Merlin knows you're smoking.'
A pillow hit him in the side of the head as Al said 'Cousin!'
I smirked in return, holding his gaze. 'Are you any good, Malfoy?'
He snorted and rolled his eyes. 'Course. What about you, Weasley?'
'Stop talking!' Louis declared loudly. 'Do NOT answer that question, Rose.' He pointed a warning finger at me.
I rolled my eyes. 'You guys are ridiculous. I don't make a fuss when you guys share details about your sex lives- which I really don't need to hear,' I added.
'Yeah, but anytime anyone says anything about sex I automatically imagine it, and I don't want to imagine either of you naked, so do a dude a favour, will you?' Louis beseeched me.
I raised an eyebrow at him sardonically, then turned to Scorpius. 'Unlike Felicity-the-Slag, I have a brain with which to refine my craft, so… ' I shrugged nonchalantly, ignoring Louis' moth hanging open indignantly.
Scorpius grinned. 'Oh, really?'
I smirked. 'Who knows, maybe one day you'll find out for yourself.'
His eyes trailed down my figure again before he mirrored my smirk. 'Maybe sooner than later.'
I laughed, partly at the comment, and partly at the outraged expression on Louis' face- Al was lying on his back with a pillow over his head.
'Maybe you'll even find out tonight,' I teased.
Laughter sparked in his eyes, and he feigned a look of interest. 'Oh, that sounds very appealing, Miss Weasley. How about now?'
'Don't even joke about that, guys!' Louis exclaimed loudly, obviously having found his voice. 'That's disgusting! Just…blegh.' He made a face.
'What exactly is so disgusting about two consenting adults arranging to have sexual intercourse?' I asked Louis, somehow managing to keep a straight face.
He turned a revolted expression on me. 'First off, please don't ever say sexual intercourse again, it's fucking weird. Second, dude is like my brother. You are my cousin. It's like incest.'
I dropped the act and laughed. 'Lou, you are so freaking weird. Whatever. You don't have to worry, it's not as if we have the hots for each other or anything.'
'Oh, Rose, you wound me!' Scorpius exclaimed, folding his hands over his chest. 'Have you ever stopped to think about all you're missing out on? I bet I could make you scream louder than Cam Jackoffson ever did.'
I gave a snort of laughter, and shook my head at him. But, I don't know… something made me feel as if he wasn't entirely joking.
I passed it off as him being pissed about Felicity and Cam, and before I could give it much thought, Nana Weasley called us all to supper.
Just… the idea of having sex with Scorpius Malfoy intrigued me.
One thing about me- I am intensely curious. Like, the cat has nothing on me. My family reckons that if I die young, it's because my curiosity led me to do something stupid.
So… Scorpius Malfoy. Hot (Why deny it? He's gorgeous.). Supposedly good in the sack. Just about every girl in the school had had a thing for him at one point or another.
Yeah, I was curious. But not overly so. Mild curiosity, which was easily shrugged off upon the arrival of pudding.
It was that curiosity- well, not necessarily about his skill in the bedroom- that made me forgo my bed and follow him when I heard him leaving the guys' tent later that night.
'Hey,' I said softly, coming up behind him. He didn't quite jump, but his head whipped around pretty fast, and he gave me a small smile.
'Hey. What are you doing out here?' he asked as I fell in step with him.
I shrugged. 'Wasn't tired yet, and decided to give the lost soul I saw wondering in the moonlight some company.'
He chuckled, and looked at his feet briefly, before looking up at the sky. 'Nighttime is my favourite time to be outside. Helps me clear my head,' he told me.
'What needs clearing?' I asked.
He glanced at me and shrugged. 'Nothing in particular.'
I raised an eyebrow at him and smirked causing him to laugh quietly again.
'Come on,' I said suddenly, 'I'll show you my favourite spot.'
Just outside the Burrow boundary hedge at the bottom of the garden was a grassy slope leading down to a stream. I found it when I was little, and I hadn't told anyone about it before. I don't know why I decided to show him.
'I can see why this is your favourite spot,' Scorpius said as I sat down, 'It's so… calm.'
'If you need somewhere to clear your head, it's perfect,' I told him, smirking. 'Come, sit.'
'I'm guessing you spend your time here alone,' he remarked as he sat next to me.
I looked at the stream, sparkling in the moonlight. 'Yeah. Anytime I need to think- or not think, this is where I come. Or whenever I just want to escape the madness that is the Weasley-Potter clan.'
'I love your family. You're lucky to have them,' he commented.
'Dude, I have ten first cousins. It's kind of a madhouse,' I pointed out.
He shrugged. 'I used to wish that I had a big family.'
'Yeah? What happened?'
'I met your cousins.'
I laughed. 'And realized that you don't need that kind of chaos in your life?'
He shook his head, a smile on his face. 'Nah. Al and Lou became like my family.' He chuckled. 'As much as we yank each other's chains, those two arseholes are my brothers.'
I eyed him in consideration.
'You're actually a pretty cool dude,' I told him.
He laughed. 'There's no need to sound so surprised.'
'Dude, you're like always picking an argument with me,' I told him with a smile.
He gave a small snort of laughter. 'You never speak to me unless we're arguing,' he said.
'That is so not true,' I told him.
He raised his eyebrows at me with a grin. 'An actual conversation,' he stated.
I considered this, then hung my head with a chuckle. 'Okay, you have a point.'
He laughed, and I saw him lie down out the corner of my eye.
'Weird how that happened,' he mentioned.
'Yeah, I guess,' I replied.
I felt his fingers run through the ends of my hair.
'Your hair's really pretty,' he commented off-handedly.
A smile tugged at the corner of my mouth. 'Thanks,' I remarked.
We lapsed into silence, broken by the chirping crickets and the croaking frogs.
'Hey, were you telling the truth earlier?' I asked suddenly, glancing back at him.
'The truth about what?' he asked, his brow furrowed in confusion, his eyes closed.
'About being good in the sack,' I informed him, taking a small delight his seeing his eyebrows shoot up as his eyes shot open.
'Was so not expecting that,' he exclaimed.
I laughed. 'You didn't answer me though,' I pointed out.
He chuckled and shook his head, his eyes closing again. 'Of course I'm good in the sack,' he replied, smirking.
I blame my curiosity for what I did next. That, and teenage hormones.
I straddled him. 'Prove it,' I said.
The look of surprise on his face was times ten of the previous one. 'What?' he exclaimed, raising himself up on his elbows, looking utterly gobsmacked.
Now I know that I could have put myself in a potentially ridiculously awkward situation, but I wasn't too worried. I mean, he was a seventeen year old guy, I was offering him no strings attached sex, and it wasn't as if we had a friendship that could make things awkward. So it didn't matter that he'd probably never thought of me that way before, because I figured I was probably going to get laid anyway. As soon as he got over the surprise.
I smirked and leaned forward so my lips were next to his ear. 'Fuck me,' I whispered.
o0o0o
'Fuck me.'
I've always had a bit of a thing for Rose Weasley.
I mean, it's not as if I'm in love with her, or something else equally ridiculous. I just… she just kinda fascinated me.
Also, she's fucking hot. And yeah, maybe sometimes I think about her when I wank- not that I would ever tell Lou or Al that.
But it's not as if she's the only girl I've liked. Yes, she's been the only girl I've constantly liked, but I've never done anything about it. Probably never would've either.
I mean, sure, so maybe I picked pointless arguments with her just so I could talk to her. Whatever. My thing for her doesn't get in the way of my life. It's not like I've got it really bad, or anything, I've just… got it.
Anyway, Lou and Al are like my brothers, so making a move on their cousin would be really weird.
And then…
'Fuck me.' Her breath warm against my ear, her body warm against my groin, and my mind drawing a complete blank.
In fact, I'm pretty sure I was staring at her with my mouth hanging open and my eyes like saucers- which might be the reason she laughed.
And then she took off her shirt. (Can I just say that again: Rose Weasley took off her shirt.) And the 'what the fuck' that was forming in my mind died into a kind of gurgle and my eyes took in her naked torso and her boobs. She still had her bra on, but still. Boobs.
'Well, Malfoy? Do you want me?' she fucking purred, laughter in her voice.
I made the effort and dragged my eyes away from her very pretty boobs, looking her straight in her (admittedly, very pretty) eyes and quirked an eyebrow at her.
Where she was sitting, she could fucking feel just how much I wanted her.
And then she moved, pushing my legs down and moving backwards and I almost pinched myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming when she lowered her head…
But she went for the shirt, not the shorts, but her breath tickling that sensitive skin at the bottom of my stomach still felt amazing, especially when followed by an open-mouthed kiss, and then she was pushing my shirt up and up, pressing her lips to random places on my torso, and then she was tugging my shirt over my head and then her lips were on mine, and our tongues had swapped mouths and sweet Merlin, Circe and Morgana, she tasted good.
And then my hands were on her soft skin, and then I'd rolled over and I was on top of her and my hand was unhooking her bra and then her bra was discarded and my hand was on her boob and then it was replaced by my mouth and she tasted really good and I pushed her pants off (everyone should wear pajama pants, they are so easy to remove) and then my hand was underneath her knickers and my fingers were inside her and my lips were on hers again and then her chest was heaving and we were both breathing heavily and then she grabbed my hand and licked my fingers and then she was on top of me again and the moonlight was highlighting her body and then a wand was grabbed and a contraception charm was cast and then she pushed my shorts down and her knickers were gone and then sweet Merlin I was inside her and then she moved and moved and moved and…
Afterwards I just lay there thinking that I could walk away and never see her again and I wouldn't particularly mind because holy fuck I had just gotten so much further than I ever thought I would've and damn it had felt good.
Once I had caught my breath, I just had to laugh. 'What the fuck just happened?' I murmured, running a hand over my face.
Rose chuckled. 'You proved it,' she replied, and I laughed.
'That was the last thing I was expecting to happen,' I said, and turned my head to look at her. 'You certainly cleared my mind, though,' I remarked, eliciting a smile from her.
A couple minutes of silence passed, and just as I was trying to decide whether to reach out and touch her, she sat up and reached for her knickers.
'I feel a lot better now,' she told me, a small smile on her face. 'I think I'll sleep well now.'
'You're going?' I asked, raising myself up onto my elbows.
She shrugged and pulled on her shirt. 'Yeah. Should get some sleep. And then when we wake up in the morning, everything will be back to normal.' She flashed me a huge grin.
'Brilliant,' I replied dryly, and caught my shorts as she tossed them to me. 'And we don't need to mention this to Al and Lou, yeah?'
'Of course not,' Rose agreed, standing up, carrying her bra. 'So, guess I'll see you in the morning?'
'Yeah, guess so,' I responded, 'We can go back to not talking.'
She laughed. 'Night, Scorpius.' And she was off, making her way back to the tents.
I watched her for a couple seconds before heaving a sigh, standing up and pulling my shorts on.
I'd gotten way more than expected, when I would have been happy with nothing, and yet I knew that the memory of her silhouette arching up in the moonlight, her long red curls the brightest colour around, and the sound of her breathy pants and soft moans would haunt my dreams for a long while to come.
o0o0o
The next day, nothing was said. We didn't speak to each other more than what common courtesy demanded, and everything was exactly as it had been.
Okay, so I might have smirked a bit when I saw him in the morning, but other than that, it was as if nothing had ever happened. Perfect.
And it probably would have stayed like that forever, except…
A week later, I was wandering behind the chicken coop, when he appeared next to me.
'Hey,' he said, his eyes fixed on me.
I glanced up at him. 'Hey, yourself.'
There was silence, which didn't bother me, but his constant stare was starting to.
'Can I help you with something?' I asked eventually, looking him in the eyes.
A smile flickered across his face. 'How much time do you think we have before they start looking for us?'
I raised an eyebrow in confusion. 'Why do we need time?'
He shrugged. 'I've got something I need to do,' he replied.
'Yeah?' I asked, leaning against the wood of the chicken coop's fence. 'What do you need to do?'
'You.'
My eyebrows shot up. 'Oh. Well. Um.'
I hadn't expected this, and somehow I didn't really mind. I'd be lying if I hadn't idly thought about that first time more than once. It wasn't hard to make my mind up.
After all, I'd used him when I'd been horny, I might as well return the favour.
'What are they doing?' I asked.
He smirked. 'Playing Quidditch. I told them I needed the john,' he told me.
I smirked as well, and my hand went to my belt buckle. 'Then I'd say we had plenty time,' I told him lightly, undoing my pants and stepping out of them, my smirk widening as I saw his eyes immediately drop to below my waistline.
When he dragged his eyes back up to mine, he had a very devilish (and very sexy) smirk gracing his lips. 'That's exactly what I thought,' he said huskily, stepping closer and reaching for my waist.
He yanked me towards him and kissed me hungrily, and I responded in kind, wrapping my legs around his waist when my back collided with the wooden slats. His hands gripped my bum, grinding his groin against mine.
Before too long, we were on the ground, and I was gasping as he thrust into me.
He made me cum hard. Like, throw-your-head-back, bite-your-tongue-so-you-don't-scream-his-name, numb-legs, rippling-aftershocks kind of hard.
I loved it. Or at least I did when I could think straight again.
'Merlin, fuck like a wild man much, Malfoy?' I laughed, still breathing heavily.
He chuckled, the sound muffled by his arm lying across his face.
'You told me to prove myself last time, and I felt like you did most of the work,' he replied. 'So I decided I'd show you my talents.'
I let out a shout of laughter. 'You're such a man!' I cried.
He let his arm fall off his face and he threw me a wink. 'You wouldn't be searching for your knickers right now were I not, love,' he pointed out with a grin.
I grinned. 'Guess not. You should probably get back to the guys before they realize you're taking an inordinately long time to piss,' I told him, locating my underwear.
He heaved himself into a sitting position. 'I should,' he agreed, and climbed to his feet, tucking his 'manhood' away and doing up his pants. He smirked at me as I pulled on my own pants. 'Until next time, Weasley.'
I raised an eyebrow at him as I did up my buckle. 'What makes you think there'll be a next time, Malfoy?'
He smirked again. 'Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure I just gave you one of the best, if not the best orgasm you've ever had. Besides, it's a long summer, and a guy has needs, you know?'
'Oh, so glad to be of service,' I exclaimed sarcastically, my hands on my hips, a smile playing at the corners of my lips.
He gave a small chuckle and a crooked smile. 'You be good now, Rose,' he admonished, waggling a teasing finger at me.
'Now where's the fun in that?' I replied with a smirk.
o0o0o
Maybe I made a mistake in seeking her out, but it sure didn't feel like it at the time.
So what if she was purely physically attracted to me, if even that? I didn't care at that point.
And fuck, it felt good. She felt good. She tasted good. And I was so absorbed in the physical fantasy I had found myself in I didn't even care that we completely and utterly ignored each other when we weren't alone for an extended period of time.
It wasn't like before, when we didn't really talk because we didn't have anything to say to each other, we were purposefully ignoring each other. We didn't say a single word to each other when we weren't fucking, and even then, words were minimal.
It was a fun summer, I'm not gonna lie. It really was.
That second time almost gave me permission to make my desires known, and was only about three days later when I cornered her and fucked her against the back wall of the Burrow, only bothering to take off her knickers from under her pretty white skirt- and I had to hide my smirk behind my glass when she told her cousins she's tripped when they asked why she had dirt on the back of her skirt.
No one seemed to suspect a thing- and why should they? We weren't even friends.
o0o0o
The fact that he didn't really ask before he took me thrilled me, because I knew that if I told him to, he'd stop.
The third time, he slammed me against the wall and was devouring my lips with his fingers slipping under the elastic of my underwear almost before I knew he was there.
The thrill of possibly being caught turned me on to no end, I won't lie.
I was quite surprised that no one seemed to realize the amount of times we disappeared.
Thanks to his werewolf dad, Teddy has always had a ultra-sensitive sense of smell, and when he declared crossly one evening that 'Someone keeps having sex', it took all of my willpower not to laugh, and not to look at Scorpius.
James spoke for just about all of the cousins when he told Teddy: 'We're all related here. If it's not you and Victoire, then it's not one of us.'
Everyone pelted both Teddy and James with pillows when they came to the incorrect conclusion that it had to be the parents.
I'm just glad Ted has never quite managed to refine that ultra-sensitive nose of his, because I don't think he'd keep it a secret.
o0o0o
Near the end of the summer we got quite brazen, one incident almost leading to us being caught.
We were in the guys' tent one day and we thought everyone was busy- I can't remember with what- and Rose was going down on me, when Al stuck his head into the tent. It was lucky that the bed we were behind blocked his view from my waist down, otherwise that could have been an unbelievably awkward situation.
'Dude, what the fuck, you just vanished. What are you doing in here?' he asked and I felt Rose freeze and then I couldn't feel her anymore. I chanced a surreptitious glance downwards and saw that she was shaking with laughter, her hands pressed over her mouth to prevent any sound from coming out.
'Uh… I got a letter from my parents, I just wanted to read it quickly,' I invented wildly, the corner of my mouth twitching as I tried not to laugh.
'Yeah? I didn't see your owl,' he said and I felt Rose's tongue travel along my cock, causing me to fake a cough to cover up the strangled sound that had escaped my mouth.
'I saw her through the window, and… and I just… thought it would be-' I sucked in a sharp breath- Rose was in full swing now. '-better if I intercepted her out here.'
'Dude, is he in here?' I heard Lou's voice and then he yanked back the other side of the tent flap. 'Why you being a loser, loser?' he asked.
The corner of my mouth twitched again and I felt Rose suppress laughter.
'Got a letter from my folks,' I explained shortly, and then Rose did something that caused me to grab the bed railing.
Al and Lou's foreheads furrowed.
'Dude, you okay?' Al asked.
'Hmm? Yeah, I'm great,' I replied, my voice slightly strangled. 'When did you become my mother?' I swallowed and took a sharp breath.
Al and Lou exchanged a glance and looked at me with raised eyebrows.
'Are you coming?' Al asked, pointing towards the main house.
I felt Rose go into another spasm of laughter, and I had to bite my lip to stop myself from bursting into laughter too.
'Not quite yet,' I responded, my voice especially strangled as I tried to keep it normal. 'I just wanna… um… finish…uh…fuck, finish the, uh, letter.' I nodded, as tense as a wound spring.
'Dude, seriously, if I didn't know better I'd think you were getting head,' Lou declared, folding his arms.
I gave a snort of laughter. 'That's just ridiculous,' I told him, my breath catching as Rose did something wicked with her tongue.
He and Al grinned. 'I know, right? I mean, the only females around are related to me, and that's just… ' Lou trailed off.
'Weird, yeah?' I laughed, burying my hand in Rose's hair. 'It would be like incest, didn't you say?' I could feel Rose shake with laughter as I twisted some of her hair around my fingers.
Lou laughed. 'Yeah, I did.'
'Anyway, you gonna be long?' Al asked, moving to leave.
I didn't trust myself to open my mouth, because I most definitely was not gonna be long. I shook my head.
'Dude, are you panting?' Lou said incredulously.
'Hmm?' was my reply- my breathing was quick and shallow because I was about to blow- and Rose fucking knew it, and fucking went for it.
'Are you on drugs?' Al demanded.
'Merlin's fucking balls!' I exploded, gripping onto the bed railing with both my hands.
Lou and Al stared at me in complete confusion.
I looked up at them as Rose convulsed with laughter at my feet, her hands once again clapped over her mouth.
'I'm not on drugs,' I declared, 'I'll be out in a couple minutes. Seriously, I'm fine.'
Lou nodded slowly. 'Okay. Five minutes,' he said slowly, turning towards the tent flap, still looking at me strangely.
I nodded. 'Yeah, five minutes. I'll be out.'
'We're coming to fetch you if you're not out in five,' Al told me.
'Fuck off, I'll be out,' I replied, waving them off impatiently.
With two final strange looks, Al and Lou left, shaking their heads.
I sank to the floor beside Rose, who was in the middle of a giggling fit.
'That was close,' she said in between bursts of giggles, and tried to look innocent.
'That was mean,' I replied, inciting a fresh wave of giggles.
'Just as well I'm on the rag, otherwise imagine what they could have walked in on,' she remarked after her giggles had subsided somewhat.
I winced, imagining. 'Now that would've been hard to explain away.'
She smirked at me. 'Day after tomorrow, I'm done, then I'll show you exactly what they could've walked in on.'
I grinned. 'Yeah? That a promise?'
She gave my thigh a shove. 'Go, before they come back.'
I shook my head with a laugh and stood up, doing up my pants.
o0o0o
As I watched him leave the tent, I couldn't help but laugh. That had been close, and we'd been extremely lucky.
I smirked when I thought of what I'd done.
If I was honest with myself, I was going to miss this when school started. Just a little bit. I was pretty sure I'd quickly get over it, though. I mean, he was a fantastic lay, but… he wasn't the only one.
It had been fun. Very fun. But it was only ever meant to be some summer fun.
I wasn't broken up about it. If that makes me a slut, then whatever. But I wasn't.
o0o0o
It was in the week after that, the last little bit of the summer, that I realized I was fucked.
When she reminded me that school was fast approaching, bringing with it the end of our… whatever it was, I realized that I didn't want it to end. I wanted it to be more. I actually wanted to sit and just… talk with her. I went home for a day or so to get all my shit together and I realized that I actually missed her. Not even the sex, just… her. Being around her. Knowing she was there. Seeing her.
And when I realized that, my blood ran cold, because I realized that there was a strong possibility I had fallen for her.
And she didn't give a flying rat's arse about me.
And if it were any other girl, I would've gone to the guys I trust the most in the world- Lou and Al. But I had no idea how that conversation would end.
Last day of October, I took her like I never had before. I was fucking desperate.
I don't think she noticed.
Then we were on the train, heading to school and she spent a couple minutes in our compartment before heading off to find her friends, and maybe I was staring at her too much, maybe she ignored me too blatantly, maybe the dynamic between us had palpably changed.
Whatever it was, Lou noticed.
'Dude, what the fuck is with you two?' he demanded.
'What do you mean?' I hedged.
'You and Rose. Seriously. I kind of noticed it back at the house, but now… you guys have never acted like this before. I mean, I know you guys aren't close, or anything, but you've always been civil. And Rose seriously just fucking froze you out. And you were glaring at her or some shit… it was fucking weird. What the fuck is going on with you two?' he asked, leaning back in his chair. Al looked up from where he was fiddling with his bag, mildly curious.
I buried my face in my hands, leaning on my knees, and I realized that for one, Lou was not going to just drop this, and for two, I needed my buddies on this one. For my sanity's sake.
'I fucked her,' I mumbled into my hands.
'What'd you say?' Lou inquired, not having heard me.
I looked up at him. 'I fucked your cousin,' I said, causing Al to choke on the water he was drinking, while Lou's face was the epitome of surprise.
'What?' he exclaimed, 'When?'
I winced in anticipation of his reaction to my answer. 'Um… up to three times a week since you told us to stop joking about it.'
Lou made a faint hand gesture, his eyes still comically wide. 'At the beginning of the holiday?' he asked faintly.
'Yeah,' I confirmed, and he looked as though he'd just seen a puppy being kicked.
'But you were joking!' he said in the same faint tone of voice, 'Weren't you joking? I thought you were joking!'
'We were!' I told him, 'Well… I was. I think she was too? I don't know. I was joking, then I went for a walk that night, and she found me and she seduced me and… it just kinda snowballed from there.' The end of my sentence faded into a mumble.
'But she doesn't even like you,' Al protested weakly.
'I know,' I replied, dropping my head into my hands again, running them through my hair and hooking them behind my neck. 'That's why I'm so fucking screwed.'
Lou's face suddenly dropped into a deadpan expression. 'You fucking were getting head,' he said, his voice strident and not faint anymore.
My head shot up at the sudden change of subject. 'What?'
'Last week. In the tent. When we came to find you. You were fucking getting head. Oh sweet Merlin, we fucking walked in on Rose giving you a blowjob,' Lou declared, pinching the bridge of his nose.
I gave a sort of a half shrug. 'I'm not going to insult your intelligence by denying it,' I said quietly.
'Dude, you straight up lied to us,' Al exclaimed, looking pissed.
'Well, what the fuck was I supposed to do?' I demanded, 'Say yeah, and Rose is doing a fantastic job?' I pulled a sarcastic two thumbs up.
'You could've not shagged my cousin for a start,' Al replied angrily.
'I know I fucked up, and I'm sorry, but there's fuck all I can do about it at this point. It's not going to happen again, in any case.' I crossed my arms and slouched moodily in my seat. I hated fighting with my friends.
Lou narrowed his eyes at me. 'It's not just a little thing anymore, is it?' he asked.
'What?' I was genuinely confused.
Lou rolled his eyes. 'Dude, I know you have a bit of a thing for Rose. I've known for years. I've never worried about it because it always seemed like she didn't give a shit about you,' he told me.
I snorted. 'Pretty sure she still doesn't, actually.'
'Dude, and you didn't tell me?' Al demanded of Lou, who gave a wide armed shrug in reply.
'I didn't think anything would happen!' he exclaimed, and turned back to me. 'How bad?' he asked.
I heaved a sigh. 'Pretty fucking bad,' I admitted.
'Are you in love with her?' Al asked.
'Fuck no,' I replied instantly, 'I don't… I don't think so, I just…I don't know. I fucking miss her,' I told them, spreading my arms wide. 'Just being near her. I miss…' I dropped my arms. 'I've fallen hard for her. And I didn't even notice how fast I was falling.'
Al and Lou stared at me in silence after my outburst.
'What are you gonna do?' Al asked tentatively.
I shrugged. 'What the fuck can I do?' I replied, 'As far as she knows, I'm just a horny teenage guy who wants her just for her body. And that's how she wants it.'
Al heaved a sigh. 'I can't believe I'm saying this, but why don't you ask her out?'
I snorted. 'And have her laugh in my face? I'm good, thanks,' I said sarcastically.
'You can't know for certain-' Al started.
'I'm about ninety-nine percent sure, so if it's all the same to you, I'd rather not risk it,' I cut him off.
'He's got a point, Al. Rose would be pretty harsh,' Lou agreed.
'Rose is crap at the whole gentle let down thing,' Al said slowly.
I sighed then leaned back. 'I'm sorry. This must be unbelievably awkward and weird for you two. I shouldn't have done it. I should have said no.'
Lou snorted. 'Yeah, cos that would've worked.'
'Rose is very good at getting what she wants,' Al added.
I gave a small laugh. 'I don't think she ever intended it to go beyond that first time,' I admitted, deciding that I might as well tell them the whole truth- I felt I kinda owed them.
'Oh,' they said in unison, the repercussions of that sentence sinking in.
'Sorry,' I added.
For the first time since we met, I felt the silence between us was awkward.
I ran my hands through my hair. 'Look, can't we just pretend we never had this conversation?'
'Yeah, that's not gonna happen, dude,' Lou told me.
I gave a nod in acquiescence. 'Okay, well… there's fuck all I can do about how I feel, so I'm just… gonna get over her.'
'Can you, though?' Al asked.
I tried to imagine myself with a girl other than Rose, and found that I couldn't. 'I'll get back to you on that,' I replied, with a humorless chuckle.
'Hey, maybe I could talk to-' Al started.
'Don't say a fucking word to her about this, Al,' I interrupted, pointing a warning finger at him. 'She doesn't give a fuck about me, and I'd rather she not know that I actually give a fuck about her.'
'But-' he tried.
'No,' I said firmly, then added: 'Please, Al. Please don't.'
Al seemed to struggle with himself for a bit before leaning back in his seat. 'Fine.'
'Thank you,' I replied.
'So, what, are we just gonna forget this?' Lou asked.
I shrugged. 'Well… yeah. What other option is there? That doesn't involve me making a complete arse of myself,' I added as Al opened his mouth.
Al is freaking awesome- he's also loyal to a fault, and a bit of a romantic, although he'll never admit it. And he has no shame, or fear of doing just about anything- a Gryffindor through and through in that sense.
'What if she wants to fuck again?' Lou asked quietly.
I winced. 'I'm sorry, you guys are my bros, but… I don't think I'd be able to turn her down,' I admitted.
Lou and Al considered this.
'Okay,' Lou replied with a shrug.
'You're cool with this?' Al asked him, looking torn himself.
'Not really,' Lou said, folding his arms, 'but rather him than some royal fucking arsehole.'
And that was that. The subject was dropped, and we endured possibly the quietest train ride we'd ever experienced.
It wasn't brought up again, but it was always lying just under the surface.
Not discussed, just… there.
Just there.
o0o0o
As the school term went on, I went on about my life no different than I had before.
I won't lie, I woke up more than once with dreams of the holiday fading away.
And I did idly wonder about him more than once. Weirdly, it was more random thoughts about what he was up to.
About midway through the term, I saw him, Al and Louis sitting chatting in the courtyard, and decided that I might as well go and say hi. I hadn't spoken to any of them since the holidays.
Scorpius had his back to me, but Al saw me coming and whacked Louis on the knee when I lifted my hand to wave. Louis turned his head and looked at me and gave a half smile, before leaning closer to Scorpius and saying something. Scorpius seemed to stiffen slightly, then turned to look at me, his eyes lingering over my whole body, before managing a brief, weak smile.
My stride slowed as I neared them, my eyes narrowing as I saw Louis look from Scorpius, to me, then to the floor, running a hand through his hair, while Al's eyes darted between Scorpius and I.
'Hey, Rose,' Louis greeted as I approached, still leaning with his elbows on his knees.
'Hey,' I replied slowly, and then there was a silence.
'So you told them,' I said without preamble, turning to Scorpius, who looked up from the floor.
He grimaced weakly.
'I guessed,' Louis declared, his eyes not leaving Scorpius.
'Yeah, and Scor's not about to lie to us when asked directly,' Al put in.
I nodded. 'Okay. Whatever.'
'But seriously, Rose?' Al continued, giving me a 'really?' look. 'Our best mate?'
I shoved Louis over, and sat down on the stone bench. 'It's not like he was complaining,' I pointed out.
'Also, you could have stopped blowing him when we walked into the tent, you know,' Louis said wryly.
I smirked. 'Oh, so you know about that then. Funny story, isn't it?'
Louis shook his head gently.
'Thank you, Rose, for scarring me for life. I really appreciate it,' Al told me sarcastically.
'And I am so glad that you have the ability to see the funny side of things, Albus,' I replied, sweetly sarcastic.
'Honestly, Rose, I didn't expect you of all people to be one for casual sex,' Louis said quietly.
I turned and gave him a disbelieving stare, and there was silence for a few seconds.
'Well, this has been sufficiently awkward,' I declared, standing up. I glanced at Al and Louis before looking at Scorpius. 'So I'll see you around?'
He glanced at Louis and I saw him shake his head out of the corner of my eye.
'I don't think that's a good idea,' Scorpius replied hesitantly, looking up at me.
I bit my lip, and raised an eyebrow. 'Right. Well, maybe when you've ditched your nannies you'll change your mind,' I remarked sharply, and started walking away.
'I reckoned I should probably be a good mate, considering I wasn't really one this summer,' he called quietly after me.
I stopped, turned around and gave him a once over. 'You know, for a Slytherin, you have a lot of morals,' I replied icily, then turned on my heels and walked away, already knowing that I'd feel bad later.
o0o0o
Al sucked in a sharp breath as her parting shot hung in the air. I shut my eyes briefly, then faced forward and buried my head in my hands.
'Fuck,' I swore.
'So how's the getting over her coming along?' Lou asked sarcastically after a bit, breaking the silence.
I let out a humorless laugh. 'Not well,' I replied.
'Figured,' Al muttered.
'I want her so fucking bad,' I muttered, rubbing my eyes with the balls of my hands. I looked up at Lou and Al helplessly, Lou sitting with a resigned look on his face.
'I'm sorry,' I said, 'I'm sorry, but… I have to…' I was standing up as I was talking. 'I'm sorry,' I said one last time.
And then I turned and ran.
I caught up with her not far into the castle.
'Rose!' I called.
She turned and fixed me with an icy stare. 'Oh look, it's-'
I cut her off by slamming my lips against hers, hungry for her taste.
I'd caught her by surprise, and it took her a little bit to respond, but she did so enthusiastically.
I looked around wildly, and located a broom closet- how fucking cliché- and affixed my lips to hers once more as we stumbled towards it.
Once we were inside the dark enclosed space, I moved my lips to her neck, intending to give her an accidental hickey.
'What happened to being a good mate?' she jibed breathily, and I had a quick pang of guilt.
'Stop talking,' I mumbled, bringing my lips back to hers.
I knew I was making a big mistake, and I didn't even hesitate.
o0o0o
After that first time- which didn't feel particularly casual to me, the way Scorpius was just about attacking me, not that I minded- we went back to fucking on a fairly regular basis.
It wasn't like it had been in the holidays, though.
When we weren't alone together, I got this feeling that Scorpius could barely look at me. He avoided my gaze when I looked at him, but he couldn't keep his hands off me when he had a chance.
Any conversation we had was brief, and rather inane. But conversation wasn't the point of the whole thing, so I didn't mind.
I wasn't sure why I'd decided to keep having sex with him. But I didn't really give it much thought. The sex was great, and it satisfied me immensely, so I didn't really look at other guys with any seriousness. I was perfectly content with what I had- a great sex life, complications of a relationship not included. I know it's not a normal view for a girl to have, but I just… didn't want a relationship. I was happy with Scorpius.
o0o0o
The last two months of term went very quickly, and then it was Christmas holidays.
It had always been a rule that I spent those holidays at home with my family, and that was the only Christmas I ever considered breaking that rule.
I didn't.
But I considered it.
Instead, I sat at home, feeling like crap.
I couldn't understand how I could miss her so much, when- in a way- I barely knew her.
But then, I did.
For the previous four years, at least, I had noticed her. I had observed her from a distance. I saw what other people didn't seem to.
And it was all by accident.
I could hardly stop thinking about her.
Not that my parents knew. As if I could tell them. My father was still reeling from the fact that I was friends with Al (slight exaggeration there, he had gotten used to that, but it had taken him a couple years).
I knew that my thing for her was just getting worse as time went on. But I also knew I wouldn't call it off. I was addicted to her.
I felt like crap, and guilty whenever I returned to Lou and Al after I'd been with her- I knew that while they didn't say anything, they weren't completely comfortable with the situation. But while I was with her, I felt a little better.
Just a little, though.
o0o0o
It felt weird without Scorpius around that holiday. I just felt like something was missing.
But I had a good holiday regardless.
I found myself looking forward to the beginning of term, to when I would see him again.
The day we went back, I half looked around for Scorpius as everyone milled around, relishing the last day of the holiday.
I couldn't hold back a smirk when I saw him talking to Al and Louis, and I winked when he noticed me and caught my eye, faltering in whatever he was saying, and causing Al and Louis to turn and see me, at which point they rolled their eyes, and turned back to him. One of them said something, causing Scorpius to snap his gaze away from me.
He gave me one last lingering glance as I walked past, and I smirked at him.
There was a remote abandoned classroom which we often met at, and I headed straight there.
I leaned against the wall, waiting, and a smirk stretched on my face as he came flying around the corner not long after.
'Fancy seeing you here,' I remarked, after he had given me a searing kiss. He gave a distracted chuckle, and opened the door, dragging me inside and latching his lips on mine once more, his hands already fumbling impatiently at my shirt.
He had his moments- sometimes he'd take it slow, and sometimes he'd be frantically impatient. I enjoyed it either way, though.
I left the room smiling, utterly satisfied. He made my body feel things Cam never had, and I gave in completely.
It was only much later that night, as I was lying in bed, that I realized I actually hadn't been horny.
o0o0o
It was a couple weeks into the new term, and I was waiting for Rose in the classroom.
She came in and closed the door behind her, then turned and dropped her bag.
I was already right in front of her, and caught her lips in a kiss, hungry for her taste.
'What took you so long?' I murmured, my hands roaming over her body, already having undone her shirt.
She moaned as I kissed my way down her neck before replying: 'Got waylaid. That Ravenclaw, Graeme Ellis.'
'Oh yeah?' I said, hoisting her up so she was sitting on an old desk. 'What did he want?' I undid her front-hooking bra, and pushed it out the way.
'What? Oh-mmm, that feels good- he asked me out,' she replied nonchalantly, her head dropping back.
I stilled and removed my mouth from her breast so I could look at her face.
'Then what are you doing here?' I asked, when she opened her eyes to look at me in query.
'What do you mean? You know what I'm doing here,' she responded, reaching out for my pants.
I grabbed her hand before she could reach it.
'If he asked you out, why are you here with me?' I asked.
Her brow creased and she looked at me in confusion, her hand leaving mine and going back to the desk.
'I said no,' she told me, 'I don't want a relationship.'
'Oh yeah?' I responded, raising an eyebrow.
'Yeah,' she confirmed, raising both of her eyebrows. 'I don't want any of the messiness of feelings this year. That's why I'm here.'
That's why I'm here.
o0o0o
He fell momentarily silent after I told him that I was there because I didn't want the messiness of feelings- which he knew. That's why he was there too.
Next thing he grabbed me and kissed me roughly, his hands gripping my hips hard, as he slammed me against the wall.
He gripped my thigh under my skirt and latched onto my neck.
'So how as your day?' I joked as he ground his hips into mine.
'No talking,' he mumbled, his free hand coming up and covering my mouth as his other hand ripped my underwear.
'Mmm!' I protested, muffled by his hand clamped to my mouth.
He was strong, and it took me a couple seconds to push him enough so that he let me go and stepped back.
I glared at him. 'What the hell was that?' I demanded.
'What?' he responded coolly.
I eyed him uncertainly. 'Did something happen today?' I asked cautiously.
He shrugged and folded his arms. 'What's it to you?'
I looked at him in disbelief. 'What's that supposed to mean?'
'This is just sex, right?' he said, then spread his arms wide as I opened my mouth to reply. 'Look, whatever, are we gonna do it or not? I've got other places I could be.'
'You know what, I'm actually not in the mood anymore,' I told him icily, doing up my bra and starting on my shirt.
He let out a burst of cold laughter. 'Oh, so now being a Slytherin with no morals is a bad thing? Make your mind up, love.' He folded his arms again.
I stopped what I was doing.
'You're right,' I said, my voice neutral. 'I came here for a reason, seems stupid to leave before I'm done. Besides…' I smirked at him. 'You're hot when you're pissed.'
He stood stock still for a minute or so, as I raised an eyebrow at him, a muscle jumping in his jaw.
I sighed and went to do up another button. 'Well, if you're not going to do anything, I might as well-'
He cut me off by slamming me against the wall again, and I smirked against his lips.
I know how to get what I want.
o0o0o
I'm an idiot.
I left the room hating myself, hating the situation I'd gotten myself into.
I knew she didn't care for me, and yet I still let it get to me when she said it out loud.
I shouldn't have gone ahead and fucked her. I knew I shouldn't've.
And yet I went ahead and did it anyway, because I'm a stupid idiot who is bent on self-destruction.
I shouldn't have been surprised that someone asked her out. It was bound to happen. She's amazing. Beautiful, smart, kind… I couldn't have been the only sod unlucky enough to like her. And I had to remember that to the rest of the school, she was unattached.
And in all fairness, she was.
It was just sex, after all.
I was destroying myself.
I wanted to get out of it almost as much as I never wanted it to end.
It was then that I decided I needed to put more of an effort into getting over her.
o0o0o
He didn't seek me out for a couple days afterwards, and I was getting impatient.
I saw him at the Slytherin table at lunch and headed past there on my way out, intending to catch his eye.
As I neared the table I saw the girl sitting next to him- just about on top of him, more like, the little slag- laughing at his every word and batting her eyelashes at him inanely, and my steps slowed.
He flashed her a charming smile and leant forward to whisper in her ear, causing her to blush, giggle and give him a light slap on his arm.
I felt a sense of dull disappointment, even though I had no need to. He was allowed to flirt with whoever he wanted. He was allowed to do whatever or whoever he wanted.
Besides, what difference did it make to me?
He glanced up and saw me for the first time. I gave him a half smile and inclined my head- I could easily manage without him.
I turned and strode out the door, suddenly feeling the need to go for a walk around the grounds. I needed some fresh air. It was too crowded in the Great Hall.
'And where do you think you're going?' I started as a voice murmured in my ear just as I was about to go outside.
I turned to find him smirking at me. He glanced around at the empty Entrance Hall and leaned in to give me a quick kiss.
He jerked his head in the direction of 'our' room and we headed in that direction in silence, a smile tugging at my lips.
'What about that girl you were talking to?' I asked, walking backwards into the room, holding onto his tie.
He shrugged. 'No one of importance.'
'She was pretty,' I commented off-handedly as the gap between us got smaller.
'She was a complete airhead,' he countered disdainfully, his arms going around my waist.
'Oh goodie,' I murmured as his lips approached mine. 'I get to keep your wonderful talents all to myself for a little while longer.'
He chuckled, and then caught his lips in mine.
o0o0o
I am a complete idiot.
I didn't last long away from her, did I. She glanced in my direction and I was there.
I came to the decision that I have absolutely no willpower, or self-restraint to speak of.
I was absolutely lost.
Every time I saw her it took a conscious effort for me to drag my eyes away.
A couple weeks before the end of the term I was standing with Al and Lou in the courtyard when she walked past with her friends, and I lost focus. I stopped listening to what Lou was saying and just watched her as she walked away, until she turned the corner and spared me a quick glance and a fleeting smile. I smiled back, even though she was gone.
Next thing, I was brought back to earth by the palm of Lou's hand connecting with my cheek.
'Dude, snap out of it,' he told me as I looked at him in surprise.
'Dude, you just slapped me!' I exclaimed and heard Al snort with laughter.
'You were being fucking pathetic,' Lou replied, 'Every time she walks past, you just switch off.'
'That's not true,' I responded, slightly awkwardly.
'It is,' Lou and Al said in unison.
I shifted uncomfortably. 'Still. You didn't need to slap me.'
'It was that or Aguamenti, and my wand's in my pocket,' Lou responded, shrugging.
'And you are shagging our cousin,' Al added, clapping a hand on your shoulders.
I scratched my head, feeling the familiar pang of guilt at his words.
I was so incredibly fucked.
o0o0o
Before we knew it, it was the Easter holidays.
Scorpius spent most of the holidays at the Burrow, to my immense satisfaction.
We got a bit stupid.
You'd think that after Lou and Al walking in on us in the summer holidays would have taught us not to use the tent.
It didn't.
What Teddy walked in on was worse.
It happened a few days before the end of the holidays.
It was one of the rare times when both Scorpius and I had stripped down completely, and we were in the middle of everything, him sitting and me straddling him.
I'd just caught his lips in a kiss when we heard the tent flap move, followed immediately by: 'Oh, fuck! What- shit, um. I'll- huhm, okay, I'm going to- wow, not what I was expecting, sorry, I just-'
My eyes were squeezed tightly shut through Teddy's frantic exclamations, while Scorpius rested his head on my breastbone.
From where Teddy stood, all he could see was Scorpius' back and my head, but it wasn't hard to figure out what was going on.
'Teddy!' I called, as he was about to leave the tent. He stopped just inside the flap, his hand between his eyes and us.
'Yes, Rose?' he replied in a slightly strangled voice.
'Please don't tell… well, anyone?' I asked.
'Um… I'm not really very good at… the whole keeping secrets thing, so I can't make any promises, but I can try, I guess. This is a very big surprise, and…um… I'm not… good… with surprises,' he rambled.
'Well-' I hesitated. 'Can you just…please don't tell my dad.'
Teddy hesitated, then nodded. 'I think I can manage that. You know what, I'm actually just going to try and forget this ever happened.'
'Thank you,' I said.
'Yeah, pleasure. I'm gonna go now, um. You two, uh… have fun…um. Yeah, bye.' And he left that tent as fast as he could.
Scorpius and I just sat there.
'Fuck,' he muttered, his head not having moved.
'Yeah,' I agreed.
'Um.' Scorpius cleared his throat and lifted his head. 'We should… you know… um… '
'Yeah,' I agreed again.
'Before anyone else comes in,' he finished.
'Yeah.' I climbed off him awkwardly and we got dressed in silence.
'I'll see you later, I guess,' I said.
'Yeah,' he replied slowly.
It was the most awkward moment we've ever had.
It was only the day afterwards when we found ourselves alone again when we where actually able to laugh about it.
o0o0o
'You fucking idiot!'
I looked up. 'Thanks, Lou,' I remarked dryly, still trying to recover from the interruption Rose and I endured earlier.
'In the tent? Again?' he demanded.
I grimaced, all the mortification flooding right back.
'You spoke to Teddy,' I stated.
'He came to us, saying did you know,' Lou imitated.
I brought my hand up to rub my forehead.
'You better thank your lucky stars it was him and not someone actually related to her,' Lou berated me.
'Seriously, dude, the entire family is here, you could at least pretend to care about subtlety,' Al added.
'I'm sorry, okay? You guys have every right to be pissed,' I told them.
'Damn right we do!' Lou agreed.
I stood up.
'I need to take a walk. I'm not meeting Rose,' I added as Al started to say something. 'I just need to take a walk.'
I was grateful that they let me go without a word- I felt like shit.
I had also thought about what would've happened had one of her cousins walked in- or her brother.
I didn't think they'd take the situation lately, and how the hell would I explain to them that we weren't even in a relationship?
Added to that, Lou and Al were pissed off at me- and I meant it when I said they had every right to be. I had jeopardized our friendship- to get laid. In short.
At school I suppose they could ignore it more than they could when I was fucking their cousin at their family home. With them able to encounter us at any second.
They weren't okay with it, I could tell. And I felt unbelievably guilty for doing something they weren't okay with. Repeatedly.
And yet, would I stop? No. As long as Rose wanted me, I was there, even if it was only for the sex.
o0o0o
The first month of the last term, Scorpius was weird. Edgy.
Most of the time, at least.
One afternoon, he was unusually inactive, not making the first move in anything.
After kissing him for a while and him not making a move (even though it was still nice- but it wasn't what I came for), I got frustrated.
'Okay, what the hell is up with you?' I demanded.
He looked tired when his eyes met mine.
'I feel like crap,' he replied, and my brow creased.
'Why?' I asked.
'Because I've spent more time with you this week than I have with my mates,' he replied.
I arched an eyebrow. 'And vice versa. So what?'
'None of your friends are related to me,' he replied.
'What does that have to do with anything?' I remarked.
He looked at me. 'You don't care that your cousins are my best mates?'
I shook my head. 'No.'
'They're pissed off that I'm shagging you.'
'So? You can make your own decisions, and they can get over themselves,' I replied, shrugging.
'These guys are like my brothers, and I'm fucking their cousin, which is so fucking taboo it's not even funny, and it's testament to what good mates they are that they haven't told me to shove it up my own arse yet,' Scorpius told me angrily.
'And yet…' I gestured to the room. 'It's never seemed to bother you before, Scorpius.'
'Every single time I touch you, or kiss you, or fucking see you, I feel guilty!' he cried.
'Then why the hell do you come?' My voice had risen. 'It's not like I force you to! Tell me, Scorpius, if you feel so goddamn crap about fucking me, then why do you come to me?' I was shouting.
'Because I'm in love with you!' he yelled, and stunned me into silence.
'I- I think,' he added awkwardly.
I stared at him and he stared at me for about a minute, although it felt like it stretched on for a lot longer.
'Fuck,' he uttered, then left the room swiftly.
I sat there on the desk, completely gobsmacked.
The way he acted so often, those times I had been completely confused by him- it made sense.
Everything made sense.
For a smart person, I had sure been dumb.
o0o0o
I burst into a different abandoned classroom, one which Al, Lou and I had commandeered years before and made it our own personal 'common room', being as it were we weren't allowed in each other's common rooms.
Al and Lou looked up.
'Oh, look who's back from shagging our cousin and not acting on his feelings,' Al remarked.
'How the hell can I love someone I barely talk to!' I exploded.
Lou and Al exchanged a confused look.
'She doesn't give a fuck about me, she as good as said it, and I let myself fucking…What the fuck is wrong with me?' I demanded of no one in particular, pacing up and down the room. 'How the fuck did I fall for someone I barely know? It's not like we ever fucking talk about anything of substance! And then I'm the fucking idiot who just went and… gah!' I gave a frustrated yell and flumped into the remaining armchair.
'Um… what happened?' Lou asked cautiously.
'I told her I loved her,' I muttered grumpily, folding my arms and glowering at the wall.
Lou and Al blinked in surprise.
'Oh. Well, that's good,' Al said and I glowered at him.
'No. No, it's not. At all,' I replied.
His mouth formed a silent 'oh' and he looked at the floor. Then his forehead creased and he looked back up at me.
'Wait… you love her?' he asked.
'No. I don't know,' I said. 'It just kinda slipped out.'
'What did she say?' Lou asked.
'Nothing. She just sat there staring at me. And then I… left,' I told them.
'How did it happen? Did it just slip out while you were… uh… you know.' Al shrugged awkwardly.
I shook my head. 'No. I was feeling crap and she asked me why and I told her it was because I felt guilty and it kind of ended up with us kind of yelling at each other and it just kinda… slipped out,' I explained.
'Why were you feeling guilty?' Lou asked.
'Cos she's your cousin, and I know you guys aren't okay with it,' I replied.
Lou and Al exchanged a befuddled glance.
'Dude, the fact that Rose is our cousin isn't why we're not okay with the situation,' Lou said.
My brow furrowed as I looked between him and Al. 'It isn't?'
'No,' Al replied, 'After the initial shock wore off it was just, whatever.'
'We weren't okay with you being a complete idiot and torturing yourself however, because you were very obviously fucking with your own mind,' Lou added.
'But… she's your cousin, and I'm your mate,' I protested weakly, trying to wrap my mind about this new information.
'I don't know if you've noticed, but Rose can take care of herself very well. Besides, we know you, and for all your faults you're a good guy, so you're better than some random fucker anyway,' Al explained.
'But in the holiday, when Teddy caught us, you were pissed,' I tried.
'Yeah, because you're our mate, and if it had been just about anyone else who walked in you would have never been allowed back on the property if her dad had his way,' Lou told me.
'Also he might have attempted to kill you,' Al put in.
I sat there, blinking.
'So… what are you going to do?' Lou asked tentatively after a couple minutes silence.
I shrugged. 'Kill myself?' I suggested sardonically, and saw both Al and Lou giving me deadpan expressions. I sighed. 'No, just… well, avoid her as much as I possibly can, I guess.'
'What, until the end of the year?' Lou inquired dryly.
I gave a half shrug. 'Yeah. Short of Obliviating her, and my Charms isn't really that strong, I don't see any other alternative.'
'You could try talking to her, maybe,' Al suggested.
I gave a snort of laughter. 'Yeah, not a fuck, Al. That's not gonna happen.'
'Why not?' he protested.
'Um, because I made a complete arse of myself?' I replied.
'I am so glad I'm not you right now,' Lou muttered, shaking his head.
'Thanks for the feel good speech, mate, appreciate it,' I replied facetiously.
I was such an idiot, it was actually ridiculous.
o0o0o
I sat in that room for about an hour, just thinking. Really thinking.
I should have noticed. That he liked me at least. The signs were there, and I was just so blind.
And if I were completely honest with myself, I should have noticed how attached I'd gotten to him.
He was probably the person I thought about the most.
And now- now, of all times- was when I realize that I like him.
Like like him.
And then for the next week I tried to find him, tried to talk to him, but he was avoiding me.
Not just, I'm being paranoid and can't find him, but he was actually blatantly avoiding me.
He'd see me and promptly walk the other way, or duck into another passageway, or something.
One day we were in the same empty corridor and he saw me and immediately turned around, walking back the way he came.
'Scorpius!' I called, but he walked faster and turned into a side corridor.
To hell with it, I decided and broke into light run.
I turned the corner and he started running too.
'Scorpius!' I yelled, but he was literally sprinting down the corridor- and I'm not a big runner. I knew I'd never catch him, so I stopped.
'You're being ridiculous!' I shouted after him, but he didn't even hesitate.
He literally ran away from me. He actually ran away from me.
I was kind of pissed off at this point.
He avoided me for the next three months. Three months. He just completely avoided me.
I kind of felt lopsided. As if a piece was missing.
And all I wanted to do was talk to him.
And he wouldn't. Stop. Avoiding. Me.
o0o0o
I was fine.
I really was.
Well, unless I saw her. Or anything that reminded me of her.
So.
I was sometimes fine.
And every time I thought of our last encounter I wanted to bury my head in the sand.
I distracted myself with schoolwork- I had kind of neglected it and NEWTs were coming up , so it was actually a good thing.
Probably the best thing to happen just before NEWTs- get my final grades up and all that.
It was hard avoiding her. Luckily we had very few classes together and I managed to ignore her existence in those classes completely- often shamelessly using a highly disgruntled and disapproving Al as a human shield (he still thought I should talk to her).
As NEWTs drew nearer I didn't have to avoid her as much because she buried herself in her school work, as did pretty much all of the seventh years. I was glad for the distraction.
My 'thing' for her didn't go away, nor did it fade. It just lay dormant until there was a hint of her then it raised its ugly head.
On the last day of school, I almost forgot about her.
Almost. Not quite. There was still a part of me that missed her ridiculously and wanted to say goodbye, but the majority of me was more focused on the fact that I was finished with school.
All the seventh years were saying their goodbyes, tearful hugs and empty promises to keep in touch all around.
I stood with Al and Lou, already planning our celebratory summer before the real work began.
I saw the flash of her red hair out of the corner of my eye and almost ducked to hide, but I was too late.
She grabbed my collar and kissed me. Right in the middle of the crowd. I could vaguely hear some people exclaiming, but my mind was as blank as it was that first night.
She drew back and I registered that Lou and Al were half staring, half smirking.
'Go out with me,' Rose said.
'What?' I replied dumbly.
'I want to date you, Scorpius. As in a public relationship that isn't just about sex, and involves feelings,' she told me with a smirk.
'Why?' I asked faintly.
She gave a half shrug. 'Because I care a lot more than I realized.'
'You…' I started in surprise.
She rolled her eyes. 'Just answer me, Malfoy. Are you gonna be my boyfriend or not?' she demanded, a smile playing with the corner of her lips.
I felt my lips stretch into a smile, aware that Al was doing some kind weird victory dance next to us, crowing: 'I knew it, I was right, you should have listened to me, you should have gone and spoken to her, I was right, take that, suckers!'
'Have I ever said no to you, Rose?' I said in way of reply.
She smiled widely and gave me a light peck on the lips. I gave her one. Then threw caution into the wind and enclosed her in my arms, catching her lips in mine.
I didn't know how it'd work out, but at that moment I didn't really care.
I was happy just to have her in my arms, and know that she wanted to be there because it was me holding her.
I still don't know how it'll turn out, but it's been five years and we're still going strong, so…
We'll see.
-end-
A/N: It's midnight and I've been writing this for… three, four days? Five? I don't know.
I started writing it with this in mind: 'Yay song-fic, shouldn't be too long, maybe my average 2k, 3k words.'
AND it kinda just morphed into this Not At All Song Fic of over 12k words that can't really be broken up into chapters.
It was going to be a song fic to Maroon 5 ft Rihanna's song Never See Your Face Again.
But that didn't happen.
Seriously, I have no excuse for not writing my other stories now. This was a freaking monster. And I'm not sure if it's entirely perfect but goshdarnit I don't particularly care right now. I am tired.
My dad's chicken growled at me. Also every time I go outside and the chickens are out they follow me.
Also Deathly Hallows Part 2.
I'm not even going to comment on the next gen casting. I will just stick with my dreamcasting, thank you very much (Although the kid they cast as Hugo actually looks as if he could be Rupert Grint's son, so I guess… but still).
Also I went shopping for shoes for my sister's birthday with my dad yesterday and ended up donating blood. And my arm is kinda stiff and ow and it's annoying, cos there's no bruise or anything.
Also, according to drunk!Me the opposite of a ho is sober. Although that might just be about Jess (YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU YOUR ROYAL HO-NESS!)
ANYWAY. I hope you enjoyed this… story. And I would LOVE to know what you thought, so PLEASE tell me in a review!
Oh, the tents at the Burrow- I worked out that if the whole family were there, it would work out to about 25 people, and well. Tents. In the garden. For the kids. It makes sense to me.
Anyway. Lemme know what you thought. And thanks for reading!