(Death Battle theme)
Wiz: When you think of regeneration, the first thing that comes to mind is superheroes!
Boomstick: Or maybe a reptile, I don't know, whatever!
Wiz: Like SpongeBob SquarePants, the patty-flipping fry cook of the Krusty Krab.
Boomstick: And Deadpool, the merc with a mouth who will do anything for cash! He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!
Wiz: And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour and skills to decide who would win a death battle!
Boomstick: It's time for a death battle!
In Bikini Bottom, in the Krusty Krab, SpongeBob was flipping krabby patties for the customers. He then made a krabby patty with perfection.
"Ah, another perfect krabby patty!" SpongeBob sighed as he kissed it.
Suddenly, Deadpool smashed into the kitchen in a Deadpool-patterned car. He got out and locked the car with his keys.
"Ho ho!" Deadpool said. "What's this, a burger? Time to shove it into my mask so I can magically eat it!"
Deadpool grabbed the krabby patty that SpongeBob had just made and ate it. Mr Krabs ran through the door.
"Hey!" Mr Krabs shouted. "You've got to pay for that! SpongeBob, teach this crook a lesson!"
"Will do, Mr K!" SpongeBob said, saluting him.
FIGHT!
SpongeBob ran at Deadpool, screaming. Deadpool had just finished the krabby patty as he patted his mouth with a napkin. He then ran at SpongeBob as they blocked each other's punches. SpongeBob grabbed his karate gear and went to chop Deadpool, but Deadpool easily snapped his arm off.
"Oh." SpongeBob said as he grew back another arm and chopped Deadpool.
SpongeBob punched Deadpool twice when suddenly Deadpool comes out of nowhere with a combination of punches, kicks and a Shoryuken to finish it off. SpongeBob was hit through the roof of the Krusty Krab and landed outside of it. Deadpool ran outside to where SpongeBob landed and pulled out a pistol. He aimed it at SpongeBob and then pulled the trigger. The bullet sped towards SpongeBob, but it just went through one of his holes. Deadpool pulled out another pistol and started shooting at SpongeBob, but all of the bullets went through all of his holes. SpongeBob pounced at Deadpool and started kicking him multiple times. Deadpool grabbed SpongeBob's legs and started spinning around.
"Ring-a-ring-a roses!" Deadpool sang as he smashed SpongeBob into the enter sign. "A pocket full of poses!" he smashed SpongeBob into the Krusty Krab sign. "Atishoo!" he smashed SpongeBob into the wooden wall. "Atishoo!" he smashed SpongeBob into the glass. "We all…" he SpongeBob onto the ground. "Fall…" and again. "Down!" and one last time.
SpongeBob was stuck head-first in the ground like an ostrich. He struggled to get out but eventually he did. He got up, bruised with sand all over his face which he wiped off.
"So you like playing hard, huh?" SpongeBob asked. "Let's see how you like THIS!"
SpongeBob then transformed into Invincibubble. Invincibubble sped towards Deadpool and started punching him hard. He then jumped up, did a few flips, shaped himself into a swan and then hit Deadpool with a dropkick that sent him flying into the Chum Bucket.
"What in the name of Neptune is going on here?" Plankton asked before screaming.
There was a huge hole in the front of the Chum Bucket. Deadpool was covered in a pile of rubble and broken tables. Invincibubble followed Deadpool inside and grabbed him by the leg. He spun him around like nunchucks before throwing him away again. As Invincibubble left, Plankton fell to his knees.
"Curse you Eugene!" Plankton screamed to the sky.
Invincibubble ran towards Deadpool and was about to punch him, but was instead met with a kick to the cheek. Deadpool then grabbed his katanas and started slicing at Invincibubble. He sliced every single corner of Invincibubble and then stopped, wearing shades and leaning on a motorcycle as Invincibubble fell to a million pieces. The pieces came back together as Invincibubble turned back into SpongeBob. Deadpool spun his katanas around as SpongeBob pulled out his spatula. They had a sword fight…uh…sword spatula fight? Anyway, SpongeBob and Deadpool were blocking each others attacks, with light saber sound effects. Deadpool used both of his katanas and tried to slice SpongeBob in two, but he pulled up his spatula. Both of them tried to gain the upper hand, and Deadpool was winning.
"Give it up, cheesehead!" Deadpool said. "I've got a sequel to get to!"
SpongeBob clenched his spatula.
"I am NOT a block of cheese!" SpongeBob said as he knocked Deadpool's katanas away. "I am SpongeBob!" he drove his spatula deep into Deadpool's neck. "SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!" he then pulled the spatula up, decapitating Deadpool.
K.O!
"Wait!" Deadpool's head said. "I'm not dead, how it it a K.O?"
SpongeBob was seen in the other box burning Deadpool's body with a flamethrower to stop him from regenerating, like Hercules did to the Hydra.
"Damn it!" Deadpool shouted.
Boomstick: Ooooooh! Who cut a dudes head clean off under the sea? SpongeBob SquarePants!
Wiz: Even though Deadpool can regenerate his body parts, SpongeBob literally cannot die. His body parts just keep coming back!
Boomstick: Oooh, this is gonna look bad on Deadpool's records!
Wiz: The winner is SpongeBob SquarePants!
Next time…
A lightning strike appeared in a city. It was a stormy night as a man jumped down from the rooftops. Batman stood over a downed criminal.
"This was no knife attack," Batman said, looking at three cuts on the criminal's stomach. "He was clawed…"
"And you will be next if you don't get out of my way!" said Black Panther as he emerged from the shadows.
Batman and Black Panther stared each other down.
