Although Christmas day was almost unbeatable when it came to the most wonderful time of year, Riley genuinely enjoyed those few days in between the holiday and the New Year. Not-Christmas-but-Not-New-Years. They didn't have any hallmark association, no commercial gimmick to sell, but they were treasured times. It was days spent with family, enjoying new gifts, curling up with a book or binging shows.
Those days in between felt timeless, relaxed and content. They didn't have any special connotation, but that's what made Riley love them most.
This year is no exception. In a year full of changing friendships, changing comfort zones, changing identities—not to mention the ending of Red Planet Diaries, which was a true earth-shattering adjustment—she is grateful for this peaceful time that didn't tiptoe out of her reach.
No, just like last year, she gets to sit in the living room bay window with her book, watching over Auggie while he plays with his new toys. In the kitchen, her parents are attempting to make cookies for them to decorate. They never get it quite right to her mother's frustration, but they always have fun while they put the recipe together. When they're just together, spending time together and laughing because they like each other. Because they want to. No other obligations to attend to.
Riley decided long ago she liked Not-Christmas-but-Not-New-Years Cory and Topanga best.
Auggie surprises her by jumping suddenly onto the seat beside her, staring out the window in excitement. "Wow! Look how much snow we got this year."
Riley lifts her gaze to look out the window at the snow softly falling onto New York City just outside. It was already gathering height. She grinned, mirroring her brother's excitement. "Even more than last year. Good thing we don't have school!"
"It would take a lot more than this to get NYC to close schools," Topanga says with a smile, putting her hand on her hip.
"What I'd like to see is Maya try to trudge through this snow to get to the bay window," Cory says cheekily, raising his eyebrows at Riley. "Think she'll still be over later tonight?"
"It would take a lot more than this to keep Maya away," Riley says confidently, imitating her mother. All of them share a laugh.
It smells like sugar cookies. Riley Matthews loves Not-Christmas-but-Not-New-Years.
"Well, go wash your hands and put your book away. We've got to get the frosting going here soon," Topanga instructs, turning back to the counter where the mix is sitting. Both she and Cory have more flour on their hands and faces than the recipe probably calls for. Riley and Auggie both hop to their feet, darting to the hall and their separate rooms.
Shutting her door gently behind her, Riley places the book on her side table and climbs over her bed, getting to the closet. Cookie decorating in this family is never a spotless occasion, and she knows she'll want to wear an older sweatshirt that's easier to clean.
Still, she's hesitant as she pulls the warm dark sweatshirt off and lays it on the bed. It's Lucas's Brooklyn sweatshirt, and she still can't believe he let her borrow it. I mean, that's what boyfriends supposedly do and all, but she knows he loves this sweatshirt and would only trust her with it if he seriously wanted to. And here it is, with her during winter break.
She loves this sweatshirt now, too. It's warm, and soft on the inside, and smells just like him. When she's wearing it, it doesn't feel like he's very far away at all. It feels like he's right there next to her, laughing at her goofy antics and talking to her about anything and everything.
She's glad she has it now, considering how far away he turned out to be.
"It's okay," she reminds herself out loud, mustering an optimistic smile and folding the sweatshirt neatly on the mattress in front of her. Delicately, with lots of care. In any case, she would never wear it to decorate cookies. That's a disaster waiting to happen.
Riley disappears into her closet and pulls out an old college sweatshirt of her mother's, pulling it on and wiggling her shoulders until it's just right. Crossing her arms, she wanders over to the bay window and peers outside. The snow is stacking up. She absentmindedly wonders whether or not Maya will be able to get here on her own. She can't remember the last time it snowed this much after Christmas.
She's lost in thought about calling Maya to tell her to find a safer way to travel when she's scared out of her skin by a tap at the window.
At first she thinks it's Maya, it's the bay window so it has to be Maya. She made it after all. But further investigation proves her wrong.
Lucas Friar is kneeling outside her window, bundled up and dusted with snow.
He gives her an urgent wave and taps again, urging her to open up. Once she manages to shake off her shock, she climbs onto the window and unlocks it, pulling it open. Lucas pokes his head inside and she reaches forward to yank the scarf down from around his mouth, allowing him to speak.
He gives her a sheepish smile, teeth chattering. "Thanks. It's cold outside."
Riley can't help but beam. It's okay, see, she tells herself. But that small part of her is still hurting, and can't let it go. She hates that small part of her. "Come in, come on, you're gonna freeze!"
Lucas takes her hands gratefully as she helps tug him into the room through the window, a more difficult task in the winter weather. Once he climbs all the way in and gets to his feet she leans forward and shuts the window behind him.
He takes off his hat, shaking the snow off of it. He watches it fall to the floor, realizing what a mess he's making. "Man, sorry," he says apologetically, shuffling to find somewhere to put his slushy boots. There isn't a good spot.
Riley shrugs, jumping up and helping him brush the snow off his shoulders and back. "It's okay! When I was younger I always wished it would snow in my room." She looks up at him, smiling. He's grinning back affectionately. "Now it has."
"Glad I could be of service."
There's a moment of silence, both of them smiling, when the insecurity creeps into Riley's subconscious once again. She gulps, gesturing awkwardly to the bay window. "Shall we?"
"Sure, sure."
The two of them rearrange on the seat, Lucas shrugging off his heavy coat. Riley crosses her legs and places her elbow on her knees, propping her chin on her hand and leaning forward with interest.
"How was Texas?"
"Good, really good," he says cheerfully. She likes how his cheeks are slightly flushed from the cold. "It was good to see all my friends and all that. Just to have the whole family back in the state, you know? Even my parents. Like, all of them at the same time."
"Your parents went too?" she asks curiously.
"Yeah," he sighs, raising his eyebrows like he still can't believe it himself. "First time since the move."
She knows it's been a while since his parents went back, ever since they moved him out here. He's told her all about it, about why he thinks his parents like the move, but also how they must resent him for uprooting their lives. She knows his insecurities about the situation, she knows everything he'd like to change about it and what he'd like to keep the same. She knows so much about him.
But she has no idea why he left without telling her, and it's eating her alive. No matter how many times she tells herself it's okay.
"Riley," Lucas says loudly, indicating he's been trying to catch her attention for a few moments now. His expression is softer, like he can tell exactly why she's been drifting off into space. As well as she's gotten to know him, he's gotten to learn about her. "Bet I can guess what you're thinking."
Riley loves this game. It's one of her favorite conversation starters, especially with him. But now she's not sure she wants to play. Considering how badly the ensuing conversation could go, she'd rather avoid it altogether.
But it's Lucas, and she loves this game. She smiles timidly. "Okay."
"You're thinking about the fact that I went 2,000 miles away before your favorite holiday without telling you. And probably thinking I'm about the worst boyfriend ever. And wondering why the heck I would do that to you, especially when I don't even follow up to tell you about it." He examines her carefully, before raising an eyebrow. "Right?"
She doesn't answer immediately. She clasps her hands together on her knees and clears her throat, debating whether or not to make a big deal out of this. She so didn't want to make a big deal out of this. Because this is her first real relationship, and she really cares about Lucas, and she has no idea what she's doing. She has no clue whether this is worth getting upset over or not.
"I was… surprised, I guess," she murmurs. "But wait, wait, I want to clarify that I was not thinking that you were the worst boyfriend ever. I would never think that."
"Well, that's nice to know," he exhales, exchanging a small smile with her. Then his expression becomes more serious, maintaining his eye contact with her. "But you're totally right to think those things. I shouldn't have—well, I don't really have an excuse, but if you'll let me explain…"
Riley nods enthusiastically. "Of course, of course you should explain."
"Okay. So, I didn't know we were going back to Texas until Secret Santa night. Like, that night. My parents just told me, you know, surprise! It was part of my Christmas present that we were all going to go back and spend the holiday there. So I didn't even know, and then I was in such a hurry packing and making sure not to forget everything and all of that that I didn't even think to let you guys know."
Riley frowns slightly. "But Zay knew?"
"Right, because Asher texted him. Asher and Dylan were in on it of course, and they wanted to tell Zay so that he could pick on me about how he knew all along when I got back. They're funny like that. But I didn't even text him. I just followed my parents and got on the plane, and it wasn't even until we were in the air that I figured I should text someone. In a way, I'm glad Zay knew, so at least you all didn't think I was dead or something."
This earns a giggle. Lucas smiles lightly, then continues.
"The first person I thought to text was you. I had to let you know. I told myself that the minute I got off the plane, I was going to text you and explain it all and figure out some convoluted way to still be able to pull a name. But the longer I was up in the air with no way to communicate with you, the more I worried about it. And by the time I got off in Dallas I had convinced myself that being silent and avoiding the problem was going to do us more good than being honest about what happened." He pauses, swallowing nervously. "Because I didn't want you to be upset with me."
Riley nods slowly. Although she disagrees with it, she understands this logic, because it's exactly what she was doing before he asked to guess what she was thinking.
Lucas rubs his neck awkwardly, having averted his gaze to the floor. He's clearly embarrassed. "It just kept spiraling and getting worse. Like, the longer I didn't say anything, the more I couldn't say anything. Even though I knew it was wrong." He forces himself to make eye contact with her. "I know it was wrong. I should never have done that to you. I'm really sorry."
After a beat, Riley nods again. She knows he means it. "I forgive you."
He breaks into an anxious smile, looking more relieved than Riley would have expected. He tentatively moves his hand towards her and she meets him halfway, linking their fingers together softly. They sit in silence for a couple of moments.
"Luckily," he says quietly, staring at their hands on Riley's knee. "I did manage to get the name for Secret Santa."
"How?"
"Well, Maya did that thing she does every year and figured out who had who before the exchange was over. So she made sure to text me who I got. She also made sure to tell me what a huckleberry I was for ditching you before Christmas."
Riley cracks up, earning a grin from him. She places her other hand over theirs, locking eyes with him excitedly. "So, what did you do?"
He reaches around to his coat and searches in the pocket, sticking his tongue out to concentrate. "I was going to go on and send it so you'd have it on Christmas, but like I said, I was being dumb and freaking out. So I convinced myself in and out of it like ten times, before settling on no." He gives her an apologetic look. "Again, I'm sorry. I have no idea what I'm doing."
Her turn to look relieved. She's glad to hear the sentiment is shared, that neither of them know exactly what they're doing in their first relationship. They both feel like they're in unfamiliar territory, but at least they're overwhelmed and confused together. "Don't worry, me too."
"Well, anyway," he says after a moment of smiling at her, holding out a Christmas card in front of them. "I wrote it all down and was going to send it to you, but now that I'm sitting here in front of you I figure I can just tell you about it. But read it, if you want."
Riley takes the card carefully from his hand, admiring the cute little Christmas tree décor on the front before unfolding it. Inside, there's Lucas's familiar scrawl on the right. On the left, a photo of an unfamiliar little girl is paper-clipped to the card. Riley reads over the letter as Lucas speaks.
"There are lots of charities that'll donate toys to kids who won't get them during the holidays." He pauses while Riley reads, allowing her the time to focus. "I was just thinking about what to get you, and I thought about all these other things I could get you but the thing that kept coming back to me was the thing that I like most about you." He pauses, patting his knees nervously. "You know, you just care about other people so much that I kept thinking, Riley would like any sort of thing that I bought her, but the way she'd feel about giving things to someone who can't have any… that feeling would be hard to replicate. That would be something special."
Riley stares at the photo of the little girl. She thinks of Maya, who never got presents when she was little and how terrible it made her feel even though she was so very loved. A gift like this, presents when you're never expecting them, is a type of joy Riley can't even begin to fathom.
Lucas is exactly right. He knows her completely.
She tears up at the card, closing it daintily and lifting her eyes to meet his. He gives her an eager, uncertain smile. "Do you like it?"
"It's amazing!" she assures him, leaning forward to wrap her arms around him. He hugs her back tightly, swaying them slightly.
When they break apart, they exchange delighted grins. Who knew that something that caused her so much anxiety could have such an amazing outcome?
Because they talked it out. When Lucas and Riley talked things out, they could solve any problem.
"Merry Christmas, Riles."
She hugs him again, because she can. Because they like each other, and because she wants to. When they pull away the second time, Lucas beams at her before glancing out the window behind her. "It was worth it, but getting over here in the snow was crazy. It doesn't snow like this in Texas."
"I bet not," Riley laughs.
He laughs with her, before reaching for her hand again. "Think I like it here better."
There's a loud knock on the door and Topanga pokes her head in, clearly wondering what is taking Riley so long to get ready for cookies. She sees Lucas and surprise crosses her face. "Oh!"
"We were just talking," Riley explains quickly, "Sorry I'm taking so long."
Topanga examines the situation carefully. She takes in the slush on the carpet, the card on the bay window between them, the joy still lingering in both of their expressions. Finally, she smiles, crossing her arms. "Well, I guess we know that come rain or snow, the bay window is always open for business."
Riley breaks into laughter. Topanga smiles at them both, before gesturing them to hurry. "Lucas, I hope you're wearing something you don't mind getting dirty. Looks like you're decorating cookies."
Riley, Lucas, and Topanga make their way back into the kitchen, and the mess of cookie decoration ensues. It's Riley's favorite time of year, Not-Christmas-but-Not-New-Years. It's peaceful, she's with family, snow is falling out the window. People she loves, spending time together not for any holiday or obligation, but because they can.
Cory and Topanga laugh and argue over who ruined the cookies, because they like each other. Lucas dabs Riley on the nose with frosting and she gets him right back, because they like each other. It's her favorite time of year.
This year is no exception.