A/N hey all! it's been ages since I've uploaded anything because I've been majorly distracted by things and such. I started re-watching Glee recently and got caught up in this whole Faberry phenom and this is what came of it .
Rachel Berry, contrary to popular belief was not terribly fond of surprises. It's not to say that she didn't spend literal hours in front of her mirror practicing her "and the winner is Rachel Berry!" face for when she won her first Tony, but Rachel was much more fond of schedules and itineraries and having a good idea of what was going on. That's why when Quinn showed up unannounced at her house the Saturday before their senior year was about to start, Rachel was weary.
Add to the fact that it was Quinn Fabray and she was dressed as casually as Rachel had ever seen her in a pair of dark jeans and a hooded sweatshirt, and she had a nose piercing and pink hair, well the surprises seemed never ending and Rachel didn't quite know what to do with herself. She stood in her front doorway in a pair of plaid sleep pants and a snug tank top in front of an obviously inebriated Quinn and for once in her life, Rachel was speechless.
"Berry.." Quinn drawled leaning against the frame, strands of pink hair falling into her eyes they appraised the short brunette in front of her, dragging up and down her body like laser beams and Rachel swore she could feel heat from them. "Are you gonna invite me in or what?" Rachel swallowed and glanced back even though both of her dads had both gone to her daddy's medical conference and she had the house completely to herself. She wondered if she would have felt any better about inviting the former blonde in if they were here but decided it was probably best they weren't considering her current state.
"I, yes of course, please come in Quinn." Rachel stammered moving out of the way to let her pass. Quinn brushed against her arm as she stepped across the threshold and Rachel's hand unconsciously tightened around the door knob before shutting the door behind them. Turning back she found Quinn facing the wall where several pictures hung of Rachel and her dads and other family members. Quinn's eyes traced each one carefully, taking in Rachel at age 11 with the same mega-watt smile and a toy microphone in her hand and then at age 13 in her dance outfit up to her most recent year book photo.
She then moved to a table where a few more pictures of the diva were propped up in frames and she picked one up, her thumb brushing over Rachel's smile as she stared at it with an unreadable expression. Rachel watched from the side, unwilling to break the loaded silence and waited.
"Your dads must really love you." Were Quinn's first words after long minutes of tangible silence.
"They are very proud of my accomplishments." Rachel conceded not adding that in truth she didn't see much of them and though they undoubtedly loved her, they did so from afar. Quinn's eyes met hers and Rachel gazed back as unwaveringly as she could but it was like they were trying to see inside of her and to be honest, she still wasn't used to Quinn staring at her without some kind of contempt. Quinn finally broke the contact and gently set the picture back in its place. She continued to look around and Rachel just quietly followed as the former cheerio picked up this and that, trinkets her dads liked to collect, studying them and replacing them. Rachel was still trying to get over the shock of neon pink and her tight fitting jeans that hugged her hips and butt in a way Rachel had never seen accentuated before but found herself admiring, insisting in her own mind that she was just taking notice of her new fashion choices.
Finally Quinn turned to face her, seemingly through with her inspection of the living room. "Can I see your room?" Rachel's heart thudded in her chest as hazel eyes met hers again and it was like they were trying to tell her something that she just couldn't decipher. They were shining, undoubtedly from the effects of alcohol but Quinn seemed more composed than ever and Rachel belatedly wondered what brought the girl to her house in the first place.
She very rarely ever saw Quinn outside of school or related activities save for the few times someone threw a party in which all the gleeks were invited and of course the party she threw in her basement when they'd all decided to experiment with alcohol. She most certainly never found herself alone with the blonde unless they were in school and something fucked up happened and they had to talk it out, or slap it out, whichever came first.
It wasn't that Quinn scared her, because even though the blonde was proportionately larger than herself and had put her hands on her threateningly before, she felt that Quinn never actually intended to harm her. But the blonde had definitely put Rachel on edge whenever she was in her presence and her apparent make-over was making everything all the more confusing. Everything about the girl in front of her was different from the girl she'd known at the end of their junior year.
Quinn's posture was more relaxed and her eyes seemed… softer. They were close enough that Rachel could see specks of green and gold and brown and it reminded her of a sunlit forest.
"Sure." Rachel replied softly, taking a step towards the stairs and glancing back. Quinn's eyes dragged up to meet hers and her mouth quirked into a disarming half smile that more caused the muscles in Rachel's stomach to tighten than to ease anything. Quinn followed Rachel a few steps behind.
Santana had had someone buy her a 1.75 of Jack Daniels and she and Quinn had spent previous hours on lounge chairs beside Santana's pool. About four shots in, Santana had burst into tears, wailing about how different everything was and what the HELL happened to Quinn and god how much she fucking missed Brittany. The blonde had told the Latina that she needed space and time to figure things out and Quinn had found herself guiltily wondering what kind of whacky conclusions Brittany was coming to. Seven shots in, Quinn's lower lip trembled as she told Santana about how her mom was taking her father back and how scared she was to lose all the ground her mother and her had gained without his stifling presence. By their tenth shot they were slurring and giggling and shoving each other's shoulders as they insulted one another out of pure habit. That was when Quinn dropped the bombshell and Santana almost dropped her shot glass.
"So I think I'm in love with Berry." Quinn immediately tipped her glass back and allowed the liquid to burn down her throat, thoughts of even wincing long gone. Santana's first reaction was one of wide-eyed astonishment followed almost immediately by raucous laughter.
"Are we talkin' about that 40 year old skate boarder whose name I never bothered to catch or are we actually talking about Rachel 'Man-hands' Berry?" Santana asked when she'd finally gotten her laughter under a semblance of control.
"Don't call her that." Quinn grumbled, answering Santana's question in the process. Santana was lost again to uncontrolled giggles as she leaned back in the lounger and gazed up at the stars.
"Wow, that's fucked up Q." She said finally, her head lolling to meet disgruntled hazel eyes.
"Why? Because she's a girl?" Quinn demanded, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Bitch please!" Santana snorted, "You would think that. Although I can honestly say I never knew you had it in ya." She added with a wink. "It's fucked up because it's Rachel Berry and you've done nothing but make her feel like she's lower than dirt for like, 3 years now… Because you love her… hah!" Santana was momentarily lost in her thoughts as she sifted through the blonde's interactions with the diva and suddenly she could see it. Like a little boy with a crush, Quinn had figuratively shoved Rachel into the mud more times than she could remember and with more dedication than she showed anyone else on the goddamn planet much less any of her actual boyfriends. All the hot gazes and fierce word exchanges and the blonde's complete and utter lack of personal space when it came to Rachel, it just made all the sense in the world. Which of course made Santana laugh even more.
"Ah fuck Q. You just made my night." Quinn scowled at her from her chair and leaned back as well, the whiskey swirling around in her stomach and her brain and she didn't even have it in her to be horrified that she'd actually spoken the words aloud for the first time in front of Santana of all people. When Santana's giggles finally dissipated and she met Quinn with a mostly straight face Quinn also admitted,
"I don't know what to do."
Santana rolled her eyes and looked to the sky once more. "Well I hear admitting you've got a problem is the first step." She sat up and faced Quinn pouring them both another shot. "She shot down Finntulectually challenged you know. She found out that he dumped you right after the funeral and called him an insensitive asshole and left him looking like he was trying to shit an encyclopedia. I managed to get a pretty crisp video of it if you want to-"
"No. That's quite alright." Quinn held up her hands as she swayed on the lounger. "Do you think she could love me back?" she asked with a small voice that Santana couldn't quite help taking just a small amount of pity on.
"Do you think you could handle her loving you back?" She challenged with a raised eyebrow.
"I'm so sick…" Quinn started haltingly, shaking her head and trying to speak through her muddled thoughts. "I'm sick of living up to people's expectations S. It's never good enough anyway, nothing's ever good enough." She thought about her parents for a moment and forged on. "I just want something real in my life." Her thoughts again shifted this time to the tiny beautiful bundle she'd seen so briefly, her entire pregnancy felt like a dream.
"So you're totally fuckin' serious?" Santana felt like the entire world shifted beneath her and couldn't figure out whether it was because of the copious amounts of alcohol she'd consumed in the last couple of hours or because the former queen fucking bee of the high school was legitimately in love with the biggest loser.
"Yeah S. I'm fuckin' serious." Quinn was tired of fighting it. Tired of finding excuses to hide from it. If the skanks had taught her anything worthwhile it was to not give a fuck what anyone else thought. It helped that she wasn't exactly feeling inhibited at the moment.
"Tell her." It could have been sound advice but it sounded like a challenge. Quinn scoffed and hugged her knees.
"Cause that worked out so well for you." She spoke partially into her knee caps but Santana heard it nonetheless and growled.
"Don't even go there Q. I will not hesitate to go all Lima Heights on your ass even if you look inexplicably tough now that you don't dress like a fuckin' granny." Santana glared but Quinn met it head on. "The circumstances are completely different.. if I'd admitted it sooner…" Santana trailed off as her eyes prickled with tears again. "Don't fucking make the same mistake I did Fabray."
Quinn did the same careful exploration of Rachel's bedroom as she'd done downstairs before turning and facing the brunette. It was so sudden that Rachel kind of jumped and placed a hand to her chest. Quinn frowned and took a few steps closer so that there was a little less than a foot of space between them. Rachel's heart was racing because she just had no idea what to expect. When Quinn took her hand, she felt like her stomach had jumped into her throat and swallowed it down.
"Rachel.." Quinn started, squeezing the small, decidedly un-manly hand in her own. Rachel's eyes were almost comically wide and her chest was noticeably rising and falling with each haggard breath she took. "I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am for the way I've treated you in the past. There's no excuse…" Her eyes trailed down to full lips and she had to blink a few times to keep on track, maybe she should have waited until she was sober. Would she have had the guts? Rachel's eyes had returned to somewhat normal size but she still looked freaked out and Quinn wasn't sure how to rectify that, knowing what she was about to say was only going to make it worse. "I didn't know how to deal with the fact that I was attracted to you and I took that out on you and I'm so fucking sorry." Her voice cracked and tears sprung to her eyes because god, the last thing she wanted to do to the beautiful girl in front of her was hurt her.
Rachel's breath caught in her throat and for a moment she literally forgot how to breathe. When the words finally washed over her and she was able to fully understand them she let out a ragged breath and slipped her hand from Quinn's. She immediately missed its warmth.
"Quinn I… are you… you're drunk."
"You're sexy." She couldn't help it and accompanied the words with a watery smile. Rachel offered a small smile at the joke but it didn't last long and she was looking into hazel eyes imploringly.
"It's just that given our perpetually coarse history I'm not sure how I can even conceive you being… attracted to me. I feel like maybe you've drunk too much and probably came to the wrong house, Noah lives nearby, you must have meant to tell him this." Rachel was backing up now but Quinn was following and once Rachel had backed herself into her bedroom door, Quinn halted just in front of her, their bodies grazing but not quite touching.
"I did not come here to tell Puck that I'm in love with him." Quinn insisted, a small smirk on her lips.
"You… you're what?" Rachel felt like her heart was going to beat out of her chest. Quinn's smirk faltered and her eyes desperately roamed the diva's face.
"I'm in love with you Rach. I have been for a long time; I just didn't know what it meant until recently. You're beautiful and smart and a total pain in the ass and I don't think I've been more honest about anything in my life until this very moment. I love you. My heart races when you sing and it jumps when you walk into a room and it breaks when I think of you in pain. I swear to you Rachel, no matter what the outcome of this moment; I will try so hard to never cause you pain again." Rachel's thumb caught an errant tear sliding down Quinn's cheek and Quinn ducked down and captured Rachel's lips with her own.
Rachel whimpered against her mouth before sliding her hands into pink tendrils of hair. Quinn's arms slid around the brunette's waist as she pressed her back against the door, their bodies flush against each other. Rachel moaned this time and Quinn took the opportunity to press her tongue against Rachel's and she finally understood the phrase, "seeing fireworks" because color blasted across her eyelids and even though Quinn's eyes were closed she felt like she was seeing for the first time.
Their tongue's slid together languidly and Rachel's hands went from Quinn's hair to the back of her neck and her lower back and she wanted Quinn closer and god she'd never felt like this when Finn or Noah kissed her. Rachel gasped and wrenched her lips from Quinn's and pressed them into the pale column of Quinn's throat when she slipped a jean-clad thigh between Rachel's pressing directly to where all feeling seemed to have gathered in her body.
"Quinn.." her voice was strangled and Quinn kissed the patch of skin just under Rachel's ear, a hand braced on the door because Rachel saying her name like that, just then, almost made her knees actually buckle. Her leg which was still pressed against Rachel's center flexed and Rachel's head slammed back into the door while her hands clenched Quinn's sweatshirt. Quinn watched in awe as the brunette bit her lip and began grinding against the proffered appendage.
"Oh god Rachel, you have no idea how beautiful you look right now." Quinn breathed into her ear, taking the lobe into her mouth and sucking gently. Rachel's hips bucked and Quinn began rocking into her as well until she was meeting Rachel's thrusts and all the brunette could do was hang on, panting desperately against Quinn's neck. "I fucking love you." Quinn whispered urgently and Rachel saw an explosion of white behind her eyelids before her body exploded with a tingling heat that made her toes curl into the carpet.
They stood there for long moments, breathing each other in, holding each other up. Quinn was the first to pull back, only so far as she could see Rachel's face, she kept a firm hold on the still breathless girl. "Did you just…" Quinn's voice was barely above a whisper and it held something like reverence.
"Oh my god I just pulled a Finn." Rachel bemoaned when she finally caught her breath. "I should have thought about pavement or something…"
Quinn's laugh was gentle as she brushed dark hair from Rachel's face. "What you did just now is the sexiest thing I've ever seen in my life." Quinn assured, pressing her lips against Rachel's sweetly.
"You really love me Quinn?" Rachel asked, the vulnerability clear in her eyes.
"I do." Quinn nodded seriously. "And you don't have to say it back, I know this is all sudden.."
"Of course I love you back Quinn." Rachel emphasized. "Don't you know what you mean to me?"
"I think I'm starting to." Quinn replied with a smile that rivaled the berry mega-watt and pressed her forehead against Rachel's.